New research shows that emotional and physical pain draw responses from the same regions of the brain.
Read To the brain, getting burned, getting dumped feel the same, on CNN.com.
Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader.
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How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists
I used to have a continual “debate” with a physician friend of mine about whether ONLY assholes became neurosurgeons or whether becoming a neurosurgeon makes one an asshole! LOL
Most urologists that I know are pretty nice, but surgeons and especially ortho and neuro tend to have a high rate of narcissists I think….not sure why but I’m not the only one that notices it.
Who needs a man?! Tonight I am content with ME. Here infront of my wood fire, good friends on LF, cup of tea, a good days work done – where I was valued, in relative good health, 3 lovely kids, a car that’s STILL running despite all the odds, had a lovely bath, eating chocolate cake, listening to 60’s music, spath free, roof over my head, money in my purse, life’s good.
At times I still mull over things he said and the ‘aha’ moments keep coming. Does anyone else get these? Even after 5 months things come back to me that he said and I take it, turn it around, and find it meant something else. eg spath told me he had been involved in a pub fight a few years ago that’s why he could not get a CRB check. Then it came to me today that this was the time he beat up his ex. 2 and 2 = 4
Ox – I too have seen many people ‘brought back’ only to ‘live’ a shell of a life – maybe in our profession we just see the ‘worst’ cases. I have also asked my kids to ‘let me go’ when my time comes. Over here we resuscitate to the tune Nellie the Elephant (the speedy version is the correct tempo!)
Dear Candy,
I used to work in a step down unit where we put the ones we “brought back” if we could get them off the vent…and it was a large “ward” of both men and women, as night nurses (with our horrible BLACK senses of humors–we called it “Dr.Smith’s Vegetable Garden” because every patient there was essentially brain dead and unconscious and all had been operated on by Dr. Smith (not his real name) Almost every night we found someone COLD and blue when we made our first of shift walking rounds, and even though they were BLUE and gone, the doc on call would call a FULL CODE on these poor souls and push every drug on the cart. Of course none of those people even made it back to the ICU…but what most people don’t realize is the chances of being “brought back FULLY” by even advanced cardiac recus is so REMOTE that you have a much better chance of being a VEGETABLE than really alive…and I don’t want that. I KNOW THE FACTS and the statistics and I would much rather not take the chance of being a “vegetable.”
Some docs and other medical personnel are becoming reasonable about end of life issues, and my step dad had wonderful hospice nurses and docs, and he got all the medication he needed right to the end. I was also fortunate that being a nursing/medical professional I was able to over see both his care and the end of life issues with my husband as well. Both of my sons that are “free” know my wishes, and I have written documents as well, but in event of a terrible car crash or a cardiac arrest I don’t want some EMT or nice bystander to try to revive me so I want my tattoo so that when they rip my shirt open they will SEE my WISHES clearly! I imagine it will also make them laugh, which is good. When I told one of the docs where I worked at the time about my intention I thought he was going to swallow his tongue when I said “I’m going to get a tattoo” (because If you know me I am just not the “tattoo” kind of girl!@....... LOL) then when I told him what it was going to say, I thought he was going to wet his pants and fall off his stool! LOL ROTFLMAO
Well, candy glad you are having a nice evening in front of the wood fire….where do you live, it is middle of the afternoon here now and the sun went and hid again and the rain is drizzling down a bit but sweater weather not coat. Wild flowers in my little garden are popping up all over and I just went and scattered some wild flower seeds someone gave me as well. Mulched the raised bed garden and my son is digging holes for some trees I ordered—an almond tree and two hazel nut trees that are supposed to be hardy in this area…(central US) Have a good sleep!
Ox – Interesting stuff. LMAO. You are VERY funny.
Just had a thought. If you have your tattoo across your boobs, they might go ‘south’ and when they rip open your shirt the tattoo will be down by your belly button and they might miss it!! ((((((((laughing))))))))
We used to have fun on the wards too. I think Jo Public think we are always serious but it is a cry or laugh scenario. One time we had woman in casualty on Christmas Day, she was drunk and she vomited all over me. We spent the shift singing ‘And So This Is Christmas’
I believe in a ‘good death’ too. My younger sister died of breast cancer in the Hospice and it was very peaceful.
I’m in England, spring is just around the corner. We love wild flowers here, it’s such a joy to see them popping up and they are low maintenance.
Not sure how you find the time to help so many people on here with all the things you get up to. See you tomorrow. Nite x
Candy,
I type fast (number 1) and number 2, my computer is centrally located and so I am in and out by it and I just pop by to see how the board is going between rounds of doing this or that….
I live back in a hole in the woods on my grandparents’ old farm…I love it here and my “yard” is pretty natural with wild flowers and a few flowers that are LOW CARE….my vegetable garden is confined to some “raised” beds for a few plants…and have 3 pet cows, 4 pet ducks that lay eggs a couple of cats and a couple of dogs…did away with the diary goats and the big herd of Scots Highland cattle. Two jack asses named Fat Ass and Hairy Ass and a horse who may not remember how to carry a rider any more named Rosey. No more Border Collie dogs to herd with…my last one passed away last summer and the breed deserves a “job” so don’t think I will replace him as I don’t have enough work for a collie dog any more. Just about need goats or sheep to train them with and the goats and sheep require more care than I want to give…so I’m cutting wayyyyy down on my activities work wise and hobby wise as well. I turned in my professional license 5-6 yrs ago —after the plane crash my ST memory is bad enough I really don’t need to be doing any practice and I’m of an age to retire so I did so.
When I went to work each day I would pray “Please God don’t let me hurt someone today” and as far as I know I never did hurt a patient through a mistake, but after the memory went, I was no longer confident enough to continue to work. I needed the time to heal. As it turned out with the “summer of chaos 2007” when my P son and his P buddies tried to kill me, if I had been working I wouldn’t have realized what was going on. So I think it all worked out for the best. I miss the money from working, of course, but I’m “a cheap date” so to speak, so I’m not missing any meals because of retirement, just can’t fly round the world any more. England and Ireland and Scotland are places I never got to in my travels as a young person…always intended to go. Oh, well…just look at pictures!@.......
Besides, really, I couldn’t have a nicer place to live as far as beauty etc. is. I also realize though that home is where you park your hat, and we can be content in a tent or a card board box if we are happy and secure within ourselves.
I just finished re-reading (haven’t read it in years) the book “The Hiding Place” by Carrie ten Boom the dutch woman who hid the Jewish neighbors in her house in Holland during WWII and she and her family were arrested and sent to Germany to a slave labor camp, she was actually released by “accident” about a week before the rest of the women her age (thousands!) were gassed…she became a missionary to help people heal and set up camps for refugees in Holland and Germany. Her book was a wonderful book, along with Dr. Viktor Frankl’s book “Man’s search for meaning” which he wrote after his years in a Nazi prison camp in which he lost everything but his life–how they both found MEANING AND PEACE in concentration camps—WOW!!! Talk about the ULTIMATE PSYCHOPATHIC EXPERIENCE, and yet, they found solace within themselves and in the few blessings they had, and afterward they could look back and see things they learned from the experience that ENRICHED THEIR LIVES.
These experiences we have had have been TERRIBLE….and yet, if we work at realizing it, there are things we can learn that will ENRICH OUR LIVES, OURSELVES…and the lives of others that we can share that enrichment with.
Someone a few months ago wrote here on LF that we need to sit down and write a “Mission Statement” just like a charity or a school or a business….and I did. I also wrote a list of my blessings, starting with CLEAN CLEAR WATER TO DRINK….a roof over my head, enough food (and more) for my needs, and so on. The very BASICS of life are provided for me….and t here are so many in the world who don’t have that through no fault of their own. They go to bed scared, hungry, thirsty, cold or dirty because they have no choice. Plus there are over 30 million people still IN SLAVERY in the world, or bonded serfdom that is about the same. We have so many blessings to be grateful for.
(((hugs)))) and God bless.
OXy, the P/s/n I was involved with was a pathologist. How perfect is that for the name of his type of doctor! LOL! And what a good fit. No emotions, so not disturbed at the worst scenes that make normal people recoil….even if trained professionals. And having to tell someone that the type of cancer they have is a really bad one…not a problem for him, he probably enjoys it….and enjoys the moment that their whole life is in the balance and he delivers the verdict. Then again, he can spend all day just peering into microscopes, and tell a surgeon that the surgeon goofed, needs a “reslice” or cleaner margins, etc.
And amen to your last paragraph above Oxy.
Just wanted to check in. I am going to bed as I am still recovering from a trip to the dentist. Today is my ex spath’s birthday. I had to take a peak on his FB page. Yuk!
Oh well, I am glad I am me and not him.
Regarding dental work. I am phobic so I put it off and use any co-dependent relationship to put off my needs. I was very calm at the dentist, (2 days ago) but after a root canal, he looked at current x ray again and found that root had split and was not going to take so he had to pull the tooth. Now I am getting a bruise at the bottom of my chin. The good news is it is a back tooth, and I finally found an anti-biotic that I can successfully take that I am not allergic to. Rather than play “let’s try this one”, I researched on the web the night before to find one that was not related or in the same family of the one’s I have been allergic to.
TTS
My mother had a brain tumor. That tumor caused so many physical problems. I didn’t know she was in pain. I didn’t put the pieces of the puzzle together until years later. She thought she had MS after a doctor diagnoised it. (it was the tumor) I now know that MS is painful. I now know that my mother lived with pain.
Poor mom was labeled a difficult patient. Cause the doctor didn’t know how to help her. Mom was put in a room at the back of clinic and ignored. She was swept under the rug.
My dad had to threaten to sue the doctor in order to get the doctor to sign the release. Mom was then sent to Mayo’s Clinic where the brain tumor was FINALLY found.
By this time the tumor did it damage.
Mom was cheated in life.
Dear Jeannie,
I am sorry that your mother was misdiagnosed, and that she was not validated in her pain. I’ve seen it happen to patients and I’ve had it happen to me as well. It is FRUSTRATING and horrible when it happens. Pain is not something that is seen though like a broken leg or a big boil on the end of your nose…it is just what we feel and perceive and no one has the right to “judge” what we FEEL or if it is “real” or “imagined.”
God bless your mother! (((hugs))))