Almost seven years ago, Darlene Ellison’s life was turned upside-down when her husband was arrested as an “inner circle” member of NAMBLA—the North American Man-Boy Love Association. She had no idea what he was doing.
Read How Dorothy Sandusky could have been duped, on TheDailyBeast.com.
Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader.
Wikipedia seems to have fumbled this one. Their page on NAMBLA completely fails to mention this major 2005 bust.
This dentist guy Darlene was married to was not named Ellison. He was Phillip Todd Calvin, which the article didn’t tell us. They called him the “Singing Dentist of Lakewood.” There’s more information in this article called Picking Up the Pieces:
(Oh, no, not another doctor in a Bonanza…)
Anyway, while I’m sure Darlene Ellison was naive enough about what her own husband was doing, that’s not true of every spouse. Sometimes a spouse doesn’t just shut their eyes to what’s going on, but is an active participant in the abuse. By all accounts, Coach Bernie Fine’s wife at Syracuse for instance was screwing some of those same kids herself! A right pair they are!
This post brings up all kinds of stupid logic.
Women/mothers who are more focused on THEIR victimhood than that of their children’s. Me ME ME Victimhood and absent anguish for their kids.
Women/mothers who say they would DIE for their kids BUT refused to believe them when the kids told her dad was having sex with them and they wanted her to make it stop. No surprise that she didn’t.
The PASS that we give wives and the Other Woman b/c they were LOVEbombed. But we Don’t give misbehaving KIDS a pass for being LOVEbombed or abused. No. Those kids are accused of being seductive; they are BLAMED. Vulnerable kids blamed but wives/moms/other women who KNOW THE MAN IS MARRIED are “understood and forgiven.”
Do I think it possible that wives/moms are deceived by spaths. HELL yes. Over stime, we KNOW something is wrong but WHAT is wrong can be very hard to puzzle out. The whole point of spath deception is that truth is mixed with lies. BUT marriage troubles PLUS kids who report sex abuse? THAT is MORE than connecting dots, that’s a IRON BAR dropped on the head WAKE UP.
Yes, I admit it. I’m a freaking nutcase. I have an extremely hard time standing up for myself but if my spath husband touched my child, ya’ll know I believe that justice is rare… I would FRY for my kid.
Redwald, if you think an article on wiki is not complete or not giving all the facts, you can always add/edit what you think is wrong. It’s not wikipedia itself that writes an article, but volunteering people. You don’t even need to register to edit or create an article.
Thanks, darwinsmom. I thought about that, but I’d like to assemble some facts first about the raid as a whole.
Dear Redwald,
Good to see you back!
Yes, I saw that on coach Fine’s wife, and commented about it earlier. That makes my SKIN CRAWL that that woman was more concerned with the fact that her husband wanted young boys instead of HER. Then her having sex with that young man herself, but she did wait until he turned 18!!!! PUKE! I’m glad that she was outed by the taped phone conversation.
I am also disgusted that so many of these pedophiles have slipped under the prosecution wire by “statute of limitations” having expired! Hopefully Fine and Sandusky won’t slip under them all.
What also makes me sick is Panero’s and the school’s cover up, and the SAINTHOOD of “JoePa” and the idolizing of football by the public.
They look at all the “good” Joe has done and Sandusky has done, and it is like saying “he was such a good guy when he wasn’t raping children.” OMG!!!!!
Of course you know how I have a particular hatred for child molesters AND THOSE WHO ENABLE THEM….so I would personally have crucifixes lined up on both sides of the end zone of the next football game and they could use them for goal posts, and they got an extra point if they hit Sandusky or Fine in the crotch with the kick!
There are those women who know “something” is off with their marriage but maybe don’t know WHAT is off. I firmly believe that Charles “jackie” Walls III’s ( who was Arkansas’s and probably one of THE most prolific child molesters in the US with over 1,500 separate children as victims over a 20 year period of time,) wife did NOT know he was a pedophile. I knew him and went to church with her, knew Jackie’s father and mother, knew his children, knew him. I knew and most people in town knew he was an “arsehole” and did not like him much, but NEVER EVEN THOUGHT he could be a pedophile. Never in a million years. In retrospect, all 4 of the convicted pedophiles I have known fairly closely, 3 of them were “arseholes” and the 4th one showed his “arseholeness” after his conviction, but not prior (at least where I could see it) I think probably all 4 were wife/female abusers at least emotionally, only 1 woman of the 3 wives stayed with her husband AFTER his conviction and release from prison.
According to the research done on convicted FIRST TIME offenders, using poloygraphs, the AVERAGE number of victims is between 110 and 300 BEFORE the FIRST CONVICTION on pedophiles. If that won’t CURL YER HAIR I DON’T KNOW WHAT WILL.
Pedophiles’ wives CHOOSE to be the last to know. They pretend to not know. Healthy women do not marry pedophiles. These guys have icky energy and piss poor boundaries. They give off a million signals that they prefer kids and don’t like adult women. Inappropriate touching is unfortunately commonly excused in society. If someone is an inappropriate toucher, stay away. Sexual or inappropriate jokes about children are another common clue. Who would want to live with that? Yet women marry these creeps.
I have worked as a sexual abuse counselor, sat in support groups and heard and read thousands of stories. IN EVERY CASE the wife knew. She made a choice. Not every one of them participated in the abuse, though some even did that. But there is simply no way to not know your husband is a sexual deviant.
I had a boyfriend who asked me to shave my pubic hair. I looked him in the eye and said, “Why, do you like sex with children?” This spun him into his own sexual abuse memories. Yet thousands of women these days will quietly do the shaving, believing it’s cool and sexy. They’re the type of compliant fools, who have just given a man permission to do whatever he likes. It’s a test of both sexual boundaries, and his own ability to dominate a passive subject.
A great way to tell if a man is disgusted by adult women: He doesn’t like to perform oral sex on you. I’ve found that men who aren’t eager to do this, are abusive in some other way. A healthy man LOVES all parts of a woman. Hating to give head doesn’t necessarily mean he’s a pedo, but it’s 100% a warning sign of a sexually unhealthy man.
There is ALWAYS a way to tell, if you’re bothering to pay attention. Women who marry abusers of any type, had a million clues before the marriage. Always.
Well I have known a few pedophiles wives and my experience has been that they ignore the facts or when confronted blame the victims and brand them as liars. even seen family’s where the children were molesting each other and the adults deny it and cover it up.I saw this not only when I worked in the foster care system, but even in my own family. I have never been able to figure it out. Anyone have any ideas what the psychology is behind the denial and blame?
Rape victims of any age are seen by society as either weak, or having actually invited the assault (the “she must have wanted it if she was out drinking/wearing a miniskirt/outside her home without a burqa” deal) — when we’re not seen as flat-out liars, the way Sandusky’s attorney has tried to paint some of the kids in the case. We make nice easy targets.
Right on, Alpha!!!!!!!!
There are some good comments on this thread, urging us to look deeper than the often misleading headlines. To add one more perspective, we could also examine the corollory headline:
“Pedophile’s HUSBANDS can be the last to know”
If anyone doubts this, please look at bloggert’s website: female-offenders.com (link is on the left of this page on the blogroll). Hopefully it won’t be too long before we stop assuming that the words “pedophile” or “rapist” are one particular gender (for either the perpetrator OR the victims).
I agree with much of Alpha’s post: in my trauma group ALMOST every case where a child was abused by a male relative happened with either the knowledge or encouragement of their mother. There were legitimate cases where the mother DIDN’T know, but in the majority of cases they did &/or they blamed/shamed/shunned/further abused the adult child for finally speaking the truth. However, I also notice that when those women speak about their own abuse, they rarely acknowledge the abuse their male siblings experienced. Male children are also abused, but we rarely discuss this. Furthermore, children who were groomed to be abusers are equally victims of abuse, something we rarely acknowledge.
However…, in the case of men who don’t want to perform oral sex (a discussion topic that frankly makes me uncomfortable but since we’re discussing it) we once more need to look deeper. Many if not most young boys (and young girls) who are sexually abused by their mothers are initially groomed to start out by giving/receiving oral sex. Often the same is true of girls abused by fathers. It is more than understandable that those children would grow into adults who would be triggered by this.
So before we start condemning people for their sexual dislikes we should stop and ask ourselves if they may be abuse survivors. Many female victims of childhood SA also dislike oral sex for the exact same reasons. It is a very long way from someone not being comfortable with oral sex to being a pedophile, and it is important for us to ask questions before jumping to conclusions in this regard.