Editor’s note: The following poems were sent to Lovefraud by the reader who goes by “Gia Rad.” She describes herself as a “recovering people-pleaser, ex-victim, natural health practitioner, mother and survivor.”
Positive ”¦
by Gia Rad
Today, I feel positive.
Positive that a new era is emerging
And I’ve left behind for good the hell I once lived with you.
Positive that not every day and night is a nightmare in disguise.
Today, I choose to smile at the rainbow
And stand defiantly in the pouring rain
As I’m positive, for the first time in ”¦ forever
That I’ve survived what many don’t, and will even blossom with time.
Positive that I’ve learned to avoid your type
And keep myself away from the evil lurking in the darkness of your soul.
Penniless I am, emotionally impoverished yes, I admit
Yet POSITIVE I’ve gained my strength ”¦ and tomorrow I’ll show the world
I’ve learned ”¦ To love and trust myself again.
You’ll see that Positive is proof I’m getting better particularly in contrast to an earlier poem called Life ”¦
Life
by Gia Rad
“Life” has dealt me a fatal blow
and I’m lying here dying ”¦
On my deathbed I write to say
That “Life” is code for You.
Didn’t know that giving you my heart would cost my life
Had no idea that your vampire self would drink my blood.
Good bye my former friend and lover
Farewell, to the one who never deserved a moment of my time.
skylar
Shane,
maybe.
I’m afraid of poetry. I don’t get it, usually.
BTW, I couldn’t sing on key until, THE DAY I left my spath. who knew?
maybe I’ll try.
Gia
Sky, wow! that’s fascinating – the singing on key… and the timing of your beautiful discovery. It’s like you “found your voice” and decided to save it for something worthwhile…. instead of your precious words and songs falling on the undeserving spath. Keep singing Sky, and yes, i agree with Shane, there’s a poet lurking inside your soul…. we all have a poet within… nothin’ to fear… express yourself and smile ‘-)
shane
Hi Sky, I understand. I too had been afraid of it. Or, actually, I loved to read and write it, however, never express it outwardly. When I had an account on fakebook for a few months, a friend of mine started a tradition called “Friday Haiku”, and every Friday she and many of her friends would post Haiku regarding all different subjects or feeling or experiences (although original Japanese premise/ base consisting of seasons and nature). I LOVED reading, and wished I could write, however, I felt that I could not get it out correctly. Someone told me, “Don’t try and control it. Just express whatever you wish, however you wish to. Just try it.” So I did. And it was fun, and felt good to participate in this group of expressive people. And it was creative and I love “creative”. It is the only thing that I have missed about my experience with FB, therefore my thoughts piqued by Gia’s poetry post, of how great it would be to have a place for us all to express through poetry (and Haiku), here on LF. Try it. No one judges. It is about what is inside of you, and not to make any sort of impression, or something tht requires a special skill of any kind. Just pure expression, of anything at all. The first one I wrote was simply about bright yellow tulips on my drafting table. Happy day to everyone !
raised by sociopath
Thank you to writer of this poem for I have chosen the first poem, to influence my strength for healing and personal empowerment.
I have never known, yet learning what it feels like to have self empowerment. I have the right to make the decisions on what is good for me and learning to listen to the inner warning signals.
I was raised by 2 sociopaths and unknowing of the truth if either one might be biologically related to me (scary). My life was living hell and so much tried to escape within myself to survive. In the process through torture (emotional, physical, and sexual abuse) I had never learned what I COULD have been instead; only surviving for next day of possible truly running away. When I became of legal age I married to get the hell away from them however; my mind and soul was bleeding and still survival mode.
They tried to murder my soul and almost won. I’m thankful God is working in my soul and life to heal me so I won’t be a target any longer. For I have been groomed not only to live with psychopaths but; to be a scapegoat for them. NO LONGER
What daemonic forces may have been involved for me to be living in hell during my lack of childhood years, I have give to God, to use to benefit mankind. GOD has the right to heal me and I want to help other adult children and children to their path of healing from being raised by these evil type of child abusers.
skylar
Shane,
okay, you said just pure expression. So here is my first poem.
Ode to a Spath.
Spath, fuck off! no wait!
I’m sorry, let God heal you,
because I cannot.
Good bye.
raised by sociopath
skylar
Omgosh you way too funny. I like yours the best.
skylar
🙂
RBS, I’m glad you liked it.
My favorite band, Rush, has a new album out. It’s all about SPATHS!!
One of their songs is about NC. Neil Peart is much more talented than I, but they inspired my poem.
Truthspeak
Yeah…..there should be a “poetry” page. Good stuff….
shane
Good going Skylar, for letting it flow. Really great poem/”expression” you wrote! Damn, if those Rush lyrics aren’t right on point! Obviously the writer has had first hand spath experience. I need to go read the rest of the lyrics on new album. The drummer in that band is unbelievable, BTW. Happy Sunday. I got fired from weekend job, yesterday, for speaking up to spath employer’s abusive behavior, again. I think one too many times. All good though, as I have my own business, as well, however it was good to be physically getting out into the world again, after isolating self for 9 months, but who needs to get out in world, just to obtain more spath crap. So there you have it, but the cool thing is, now I get to attend my nephew’s birthday party down at beach, today, so all good. Ok, thanks for listening to my rambling. Look forward to getting back here, later. Happy day to all. ~Shane
Ox Drover
Shane,
Sometimes it is important to walk away, even from a job, when there is a psychopathic employer/boss…I have done that more than once, sometimes with a job I knew I had in advance of giving them the resignation, and sometimes without a job in advance.
That was one of the nice things about nursing especially in larger cities, there was a LOT of jobs I knew I could get and never was without a job for more than a day or two.
Staying in an abusive situation, whether it is employment or a personal relationship is never a good thing for us. Once we learn that we do not have to STAY victims, we have a freedom that is amazing. That EMPOWERS us in more than one way.
Have fun at the party and enjoy your freedom and your POWER. TOWANDA for you!!!