In the 2004 movie Taking Lives, Angelina Jolie stars as an FBI profiler sent to Quebec, Canada to help solve a grisly murder. Shortly after she arrives there’s another murder—and a suspect.
Jolie interviews the suspect. Afterwards, she says to the Canadian investigators, “Psychopaths actually have very different brain patterns. You say words like tree, sofa, house, rape, incest, murder. A normal person’s brain pattern changes; the frontal lobe reacts. Psychopaths have no reaction. They feel the same about rape and murder as they do about eating dinner. They have no emotional reaction.”
Jolie’s character is right. Everything she says has been validated by scientific research.
As the movie continues, we learn that the murders are part of a pattern, and there’s a serial killer on the loose. A psychopathic serial killer.
Movies such as Taking Lives contribute to the public’s perception that psychopaths are depraved serial killers. Although many serial killers are indeed psychopaths, the vast majority of psychopaths never murder anyone. Psychopaths lie, cheat, steal, defraud and abuse—totally without remorse. But they usually don’t kill.
As Dr. Robert Hare, the international expert on psychopaths, says in his book Without Conscience, “Serial killers are extremely rare; there are probably fewer than 100 in North America. In contrast, there may be as many as 2 to 3 million psychopaths in North America.”
But the imagery is powerful. In the 1991 movie, The Silence of the Lambs, Hannibal Lecter, played by Anthony Hopkins, is a brilliant psychiatrist—and a serial killer who practices cannibalism on his victims.
Lecter is housed in a hospital for the criminally insane. “Oh, he is a monster,” says the hospital administrator. “A pure psychopath. So rare to capture one alive.”
And then there’s the classic Alfred Hitchcock film, Psycho. Despite the title of the 1960 film, the disturbed individual who murders Janet Leigh while she showers isn’t even a psychopath.
Due in part to movies like these, you may associate the term “psychopath” with individuals who are deranged, disturbed murderers. Consequently, you may not realize that you have a psychopath in your life—and it’s your spouse, boss or lawyer.
That’s why Lovefraud has chosen to use the term “sociopath” instead of “psychopath.” The goal is to help you get past the serial killer mentality and identify the character disorder as it usually occurs. When you know what you are dealing with, you can protect yourself.
It almost makes me laugh, the anti-social part. It implies that a person doesn’t like to go to parties or doesn’t get out much. That would be me these days. I want to go but need to work myself back out into the world.
On the other hand because I was so isolated spaths came to me.
When I first saw the check list by Dr. Hare spelled out on the internet, it was right before the 4th of July weekend. I froze at my computer. That is when I made up an excuse that was probably not even believable to cancel the weekend with my then spath boyfriend. I didn’t want to believe that he was a Sociopath because that sounded so scary. As many times as we got back together as far as talking on the phone and the internet, I believe the last time I actually saw him in person was Memorial Day weekend which was before the 4th of July.
Even though our relationship had regressed to friends he was going to bring me by a small gift right before Christmas. Since that week was busy I asked him to wait until the week between Christmas and New Years. Christmas Eve is the last I heard from him when I called him on his drinking. not a big deal really just a “I thought you were going to start going to meetings again.” He played the sympathy card which I didn’t fall for, and then hung up on me calling me the Bitch from Hell. I could not understand why he did not call the next day, Christmas and apologize. Because he was not a normal person. He didn’t care…..and more important I believe he knew I was finally on to him and he had used up anything he could possibly get from me.
I wish I would have believed myself when I KNEW that he was a sociopath right after the 4th of July.
TTS
Oxy, I posted over you. ASPD is the professional way of labeling Sociopaths. It implies something like they were not properly socialized to society or something, like you said.
I have another question. Above my screen is an add for Instant Checkmate.com. to check for criminal background checks. The picture of the man in the middle with the longish hair looks so darn familiar. Is they anyway, a person can access the pictures that are on that site without knowing the names?
TTS
Thank you Oxy for explaining that for me.
TTS That guy above with the longish hair is a dumbnut that wore his hat backwards and got a bad tan line. Look’s like some of my trailor trash neighbor’s…
Hens, ROTFLMAO!!!! yea!!!
TTS, not that I know of.
Ox is that you up there on the left?
I thought I made another post here about here about the guy who probably wore the backwards hat. He lives in the apartment behind me. His girlfriend is the one who was always asking me for money. Anyone who is still up please read my post on this subject:
Exploiters seek partners who dread to displease them
I believe I really had an aha moment not so much about wanting to please the men in my life, but about my current relationship with my mother. It was actually making me depressed today.
I had my last mediation session yesterday. After the spath and his lawyer left I was there with the mediator and my lawyer. This is an interesting little thing that happened, the mediator asked what was wrong with spath. Mediation had ended and the mediator didn’t need to stay neutral any longer. He wondered what was going on with spath and even though spath was a retired senior vice president of a large company, he said he would never hire him.
I gave those comments high credibility because of the professional attitude of the mediator during our sessions with him. He was a lawyer before opening his own business and teaches at the law school here. He definitely validated my feelings of something being off with spath. Honestly, don’t know why I would still need flipping validation. Kind of got me into this mess to start with.
Spath was playing more games and tried to do the poor me thing, he was called on it and was told to stop acting like a victim. He is also trying to get out of paying alimony. So the case might end up going to court, not sure. They may make him pay lifetime support and he wouldn’t want that so he should take the buy out we offered.
All I can say is spath is psycho. He is unraveling before my eyes. How did I not see the depths of his disorder? Oh yeah, the gaslighting. Yeppers, it was the gaslighting.
Just thought I would share this with you all. I have been reading a lot but not posting as often because sometimes it depresses me too much. I read some of the stories of the heartache of lovefraud posters and it hurts and I feel their pain. I was there and I know how deeply it cuts you to have a spath in your life and those stories touch me too much.
I’ve been digging out and try to escape from feeling that pain again. When I read Oxy’s post about her dad, well, that was almost too much to comprehend, to much to bear. She is completely amazing to me.
You are all beautiful people, keep healing, keep walking in the light, I know it will get better.
Hope,
It’s nice that people notice something is wrong.
Did you explain to the mediator that your ex is a spath?
I hope you did and recommended some books. He is bound to run into others of that type and it would be good to get him started learning about it so he can do his job the best possible.
HopeforJoy,
I know exactly what you are talking about. My divorce took place in 2008. We had two mediations to keep from going to court. He finally signed the papers to settle out of court. He had a lawyer and so did I but the mediator went back and forth to our separate rooms. She told me and my lawyer “He is so hard to reason with.” My lawyer asked her if his lawyer was giving him good counsel. The mediator says “He is trying”. I didn’t know that my exH was a spath, but did know he had some sort of personality disorder. I told them, he dealt in magical thinking and honestly believed he was entitled to the house because he had it before we were married….by about 3 years. I lived there for 25 years and helped pay for that house. I bought him out of his share, and was given alimony. He pays it. The court ordered it. Just hang in there because once it is over you can concentrate on your healing.
I also was subjected to gaslighting so it has taken me all of this time to even start figuring out what a bad marriage I was in.
TTS
TTS,
so sorry you are dealing with this stuff with your mom.
Me too. parental sliming is so hard to get off because you’ve had it all your life!
I’m seriously looking into hypnotherapy because I just can’t deal with this on my own.