As I was trying to come up with an idea for this week’s blog post, my husband, Terry, made a suggestion: “Why don’t you write about Psycho Squirrel?”
Last fall, we started tossing peanuts in the shells to squirrels in our backyard. We were captivated by the show they put on as they acrobatically chased each other along the fence and through the tree branches. Plus, we liked being nice to our furry neighbors.
Most of the squirrels picked up the peanuts and scurried away, burying them to eat in the winter. A couple of squirrels, however, were smart. They learned that humans meant food, and every time they saw us, bounded over to the ground below our back deck. They’d sit on their hind legs, twitch their tails, and look up at us expectantly. Of course, they were rewarded with peanuts.
Aw, aren’t they cute?
Well, they started getting brave, and crept up the steps of the deck. We opened the back door, which led into the kitchen, and tossed out a peanut. The squirrels scurried away with the peanuts, buried them, and came back for more. So then we squatted down low, cracked open the full-length glass storm door, and held the peanuts at their nose height. They were skittish at first, but soon began taking the peanuts right from our fingers.
They’d sit on the deck, hold the peanut to their mouths and roll it, as if looking for a place to bite the shell. Sometimes they ate the peanuts, and sometimes they ran away, buried them, and came back for more. If we weren’t right at the door, we could hear them tapping on the glass with their tiny claws.
Aren’t they cute?
We ended up with three “pet squirrels—”one day they all kept coming to the door like a tag team. Eventually, if they saw us, they’d leap through the trees to the ground below the deck and then run up the steps. When they saw us walking up the driveway, they followed. We started keeping a small ceramic bowl filled with peanuts on the counter next to the back door, so they’d be handy when our squirrel buddies showed up. We imagined that they really appreciated us when 18 inches of snow blanketed the ground and all their peanuts from the fall were hidden.
A few weeks ago, spring finally arrived, and we exchanged the glass in the storm door for a screen. We hadn’t seen the squirrels in awhile, but one showed up. She looked well fed, but still remembered how to beg for a handout.
I opened the screen door, held a peanut low for her, and she took it. She came back several times; I fed her about five peanuts. Then I had to go back to work. I closed the screen door, but the main back door was open to let the warm breeze into the house.
A couple of hours later I walked back into the kitchen and stopped short. The screen by the door handle was shredded—someone had broken into the house! Then I noticed the ceramic bowl was empty, there were broken peanut shells all over the floor, and a small yellow puddle on the counter.
The squirrel had chewed through the screen, eaten all the peanuts, and left. I couldn’t believe it. I shut the main back door—wood with glass panes at the top—so she couldn’t come back in. But she had learned well, and a little while later I caught her trying to climb through the hole in the screen again.
That was it. Now it was No Contact with the squirrel.
Terry took the screen out so it could be repaired. The squirrel didn’t know this, so when she next saw me in the kitchen, she leaped at the door, expecting to cling to the screen. Instead, she slammed into the regular door with its glass panes. With nothing to hold on to, she slid to the deck.
We stayed on the No Contact program, even though the squirrel kept following us around the yard and begging. No more handouts, no more bowl of peanuts on the counter by the door. In fact, since we couldn’t really tell the squirrels apart, none got fed. One overly aggressive squirrel had ruined it for everyone.
After a couple of weeks, hoping the pushy squirrel had forgotten that she had been sponging off of us, we replaced the screen, which had cost $25 to fix. It was fine for awhile, but the other day, I walked into the kitchen to find holes in the screen next to the door handle. She didn’t forget. But at least there were no peanuts on the counter, so the squirrel didn’t come in.
Now the screen needs to be repaired again. “That squirrel owes me $50 for the two screens,” Terry complained.
We don’t think the squirrel is going to pay. In fact, it’s probably going to cost us even more, because now Terry has decided we should invest in pet-proof screens.
Sigh. And it all started because the squirrels were so cute and we wanted to be friendly.
Dear Near,
I think if I got your story straight this P is your father, right? Well, change the locks if necessary, or if he comes again uninvited. Just don’t let him in, and say, “Dad this is not a convenient time right now, next time you would like to come to visit, please call first.” Then close the door in his face.
Near,, my experience with wild animals is that most are not “tameable” but a few are reliable as pets and not dangerous. Others may be for a while, then one day just kill you, like the unpredictability of fighting breeds of dogs, pet wolves and pet wild cats.
Even some domestic animals are dangerous if not controlled, pigs are one example and have in the past been responsible for killing people on a fairly regular basis and are capable if improperly controlled even today. Especially the males and females with small ones.
I have “taken in” people who needed a place to stay and had them do the same thing, Near—pretty soon it felt like they had the deed to my home and were allowing me to stay there at their grace. That sense of ENTITLEMENT to what you have.
I hate to sound like a total jerk but I seriously dislike squirrels, raccoons and so forth. I can’t stand it when people feed wild animals – or the stories you hear like the Japanese tourist in Yellowstone who saw a Bison on the side of the road and sent his 5 year old to stand next to it so he could get a picture and the kid was trampled to death….
I have several friends that feed these animals and have trays of cat food on their front porches and think it is so cute. I refrain from saying much as they just don’t get it. Amazingly enough the person I know who does this the most and has a large group of animals on her front stoop every night (she lives in the mountains) is also in the throws of a huge break-up with a person I deem one of those “shadow syndrome” types – there is a book by this name and I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT – it talks about something I think Donna or Oxy recently posted on – how the person who is not a FULL BLOWN N/P/S is actually more dangerous as we see the normal parts and think we can love them enough to have them treat us well…
I have known this couple for 3-4 years and at first the way he treated her in public made me say to her that I hoped one day I would find a man who treated me as he treated her… but a few months in when she told me her man was in arrears on child support to a previous relationship of over 50K and she had been paying it for him I knew instantly what he was. And the more she told me the more I realized what she was dealing with – and she kept being very co-dependent and excusing his behaviors that she knew were wrong or fixing it for him. Now she is in terrible terrible agony as he finally left her after treating her miserably as she watched her beloved mother die of lung cancer…
I fully expect to hear about a mountain lion attacking and killing her dog or a big brouhaha on her front porch at some point in the not too distant future as those types of critters are seen up there on a not too infrequent basis.
The thing that got me on all of this is that a few summers ago as I sat in my dining room which is open to my living room I heard a tremendous noise in the pipe of my wood burning stove. I thought a bird had possibly gotten caught in it somehow (in mid July no less). Turns out a black squirrel had ripped the wood off of my chimney box and tore through the wire and metal cap / spark arrester to try and get into my house. Thank goodness I had the stove door fully closed at the time. The squirrels also for a time tormented my next door neighbor – got to nesting in her attic space and there were no pest control services willing to deal with it. We have a neighbor down the street that feeds the squirrels peanuts making them less afraid of the rest of us. They have come into my yard and not been afraid when I have tried to shoo them away – have instead become somewhat aggressive. This is all because one woman thinks it is okay – despite the rest of us asking her to please stop. I am sure if she had to pay for the pest removal of my neighbor and fixing my chimney box and cap she might think twice but as the damage is to other people she does not care. Sick.
Donna,
I don’t think feeding squirrels is stupid, it’s normal human pro-social behaviour. After all that’s how humans and dogs evolved together and became a ‘team’ that helped both survive with better odds than alone. Most frequently it’s merely, as Oxy said, uneducated. Once you know that squirrels, unlike say the birds at your feeder, don’t know where to draw the line it’s easier to forgo feeding them, and recognize what seems to be cuteness for what it really is.
I think where the problem lies is with the disinformation we see around us, which teaches us to overlook and disregard boundary violations, both human and animal. If we hadn’t all been primed to not see and recognize when normal behaviour has started to change to something which is not reciprocal it wouldn’t have been such a problem. If you’d stopped feeding them the moment they started to target you with their ‘aw look at me I’m so cute’ tail-twitching and ‘poor hungry me – gee how’d I get onto your porch?’ looks I doubt you’d have had such a problem.
And, of course, I’m saying this as a person with a ‘criminal record’. I have a picture of myself and friends, from the time I first moved to the National Park, feeding a carrot to a deer through our sliding door. Feeding squirrels isn’t half as stupid as letting a full grown deer get part-way into your living room!
Near – I have to laugh at your post because I have the same problem with my children’s father. We have a fairly amicable parenting agreement but he seems to pop in and make himself at home wandering around the house, except for my bedroom thank God. I haven’t yet figured out how to graciously prevent some of it but I am working on it. We do have him to a meal once in awhile and vice versa but the going into the girls bedrooms and so forth and walking into the back yard to play with the dog a makes me uncomfortable like he is marking his territory and well you get it.
Ox Drover: Yeah, it’s my dad, again! How did you know? I feel like I’m beating a dead horse by mentioning him all the time. Anyway, I have started to tell him off sometimes. He called one time and told me he’d be at my house at 10, and I told him no. So then he tried to bribe me by telling me he’d bring breakfast and we’d all eat together. I still said no and then told him not to come over at all and that was just the way it is and to get over it. I wish I could do that all the time, but I felt bad after that. 🙁
Pigs? Are you serious!? I just stick with my little puppies. Beagles, mostly. I’m kind of scared of bigger dogs, like pitbulls. I’m very small, like 90 pounds, so I stay away from pitbulls and others like that. My uncle owns some and they constantly attack him and each other! 🙁
Yep, the sense of entitlement! That’s what I was trying to say. It is UNREAL! He is that way at his job too. Does nothing, but wants the most money. He feels he derserves it for all his hard work. :/
Oxy, great posts, as always, both the one about wild animals eventually turning on you no matter how tame they may seem at first, and about how one small favour can lead to squatters that its hard to get rid of. Also, the one about choice.
One/Joy – thank you!
Near – great point about dolphins (who doesn’t like dolphins – they’re so cute?!?), and sorry to hear about your P’s escalating behaviour.
Breckgirl – wow, oh wow. Nothing more dangerous than a mountain lion, and great points about the danger of the ‘shadow person’. I think your neighbour who feeds the squirrels and doesn’t care about how it affects her neighbours might just qualify as one. On the other hand, your friend who leaves food on their front porch in mountain-lion terroritory is just a big old accident waiting to happen. But not just to them, to everyone in the vicinity.
breckgirl: Yes! It is just like that. He even checks the mail sometimes! He tried to fall asleep in my mom’s bed one time! Crazy stuff, as he just wanders around and plays with my dogs too! I think we might have to throw manners out the window and just tell them to go away. Sorry I missed your post! Everybody here posts so quickly and I usually take my sweet ass time when I reply! ^_^
Annie: Yeah, dolphins rock. I just had a thought, though. Remember the movie Free Willy? Made everybody think killer whales were loving and great! Yet they hunt and murder sharks and are actually one of ther most deadly in the sea. That fits in great with your point on movies and their influence on kids and society.
Dear Near and Breckgirl,
What about the killer whale that killed his trainer not too long ago?
Setting BOUNDARIES for people is not only OKAY, it is NECESSARY.
It is showing others how they are allowed to treat you.
You set boundaries first VERBALLY. That is what you did Near, when you said “No, don’t come over at 10, don’t bring breakfast.”
Breck, your X may not be aware that he is overstepping by wandering around your home like he is now a guest but lives there….is he a psychopath? You said you had a fair at least co-parenting relationship with him. What you might do is to just tell him, “John, I’d appreciate it if you would just not wander all around the house when you visit here, but visit with Cutie Pie and Sweetie Pie in the living room or den.” He may have “his feelings” hurt or he may become angry, but IT IS YOUR HOUSE, AND YOU SET THE RULES FOR GUESTS, and he is a GUEST not entitled.
Near, same thing. If your dad shows up at the door, YOU ARE NOT OBLIGATED TO LET HIM IN….IT IS YOUR HOUSE. If you don’t want ANYone there, you do not have to let them in or feel guilty. “I’;m sorry, now is not a convenient time, please call before you come next time. BYE!”
I had a “friend” (psychopath) that I had let “move in on” me and I had told her and her husband that they could not live here at the farm any more in their motor home….and she would come back adn take things when I was not home…so I told her,, “do not come here without calling first.” Well, she would catch me at a time she THOUGHT I might be gone and just show up at the gate and call JUST BEFORE SHE DROVE IN and she was surprised I was home and she said “Oh, but I wouldn’t have come in if you hadn’t been home.” Yea, right, she was going to drive 40 miles 1 way on the CHANCE I’d be home and NOT come in if I wasn’t here? DUH! Yea, I believed that– NOT! So I told her, “I think it would be best if you would call 24 HOURS IN ADVANCE next time you plan to come”….well, she never came back again….
They will continue to cross your boundaries as LONG AS YOU ALLOW IT AND DO NOT SAY “STOP!”
But when you set a boundary, you must be prepared to sever the relationship if they DEFY the boundary.
In January I set a boundary with a woman who had been my best friend for 30+ years—-and she violated that boundary and as bad as I hate it, and as much as I realize she is depressed and h er husband is an abuser, I will NOT BE TREATED the way she and he treated me when THEY INVITED ME to their house.
I am prepared to let go of any relationship where the person abuses me in a way that I find uncomfortable. It is a matter of respect and consideration. If people treat me with disrespect and unkindness, or mooch off of me, why do I need them in my life?
Near, I was thinking the exact same thing about killer whales. The whale which killed that trainer in California (or was it Florida?) was previously in Vancouver and had attacked trainers there before. But everyone just disregarded that, it seems.
There have been many reports of attacks by dolphins that get hushed up, because it would hurt tourist dollars. I’m out of my sphere of expertise here, but I think those attacks have more to do with how the dophins are being treated than any natural inclination to attack humans. They’re extremely intelligent animals who shouldn’t be used like animals in a petting zoo.
There was a fascinating post here a couple of years ago (by Kathleen Hawk?) about a book ‘The way of the dophin’ (or something like that). It was a business recommendation that advised taking a dolphin’s strategy to life. Most times dolphins are happy and carefree, social and nonaggressive (like carps) except when they encounter sharks. Then they become like sharks themselves and exchange bite for bite, attack for attack, until the sharks are driven off.
And now – to complicate matters – Twiggy the water-skiing squirrel
http://animal.discovery.com/videos/most-outrageous-water-skiing-squirrel.html