Steve Becker raised the issue of psychopaths in movies a few months ago – I’d like to raise it again. I’ve been watching the second series of the TV show ‘Dexter‘. For those who don’t know it, Dexter is a serial killer who operates according to a code taught to him by his father. Dad, a cop, realised that Dexter was different (socially inept, blood lust, etc.) and so instilled in him the principle that he was not to hurt people in general, but to work at getting along with them. Dexter is permitted to kill only those who deserve it, e.g. killers who’s escaped justice.
Commentators automatically call Dexter psychopathic. That’s what these words seem to mean in the general public: psychopath = serial killer = psychopath.
Hannibal Lector seems to be the association. Either him or a character like Chigurh in ‘No country for old men’. In fact he’s portrayed like a schizoid automaton – where’s the famous psychopathic charm? Only in the scene where he verbally torments the old store-owner get a whiff of psychopathy. It’s not helpful; it’s just one of the reasons regular folks can’t/won’t understand what psychopathy is really like. (For starters, psychopaths aren’t by any means all killers.)
This despite the fact the Dexter himself feels most understood at a program for addicts. (To my mind he’s a pervert.) His girlfriend Lila, though, does seem to me to be a psychopath, though with a definite female bent. A clue, Dexter is wholly likeable whereas Lila is terrifying. A bit like Sante Kimes as depicted in ‘A little thing called murder’.
This public confusion occured around ‘The Sopranos’ too. Donna Andersen has argued that Tony is not a psychopath (she prefers the term sociopath). I agree. (My diagnosis: narcissist – not that it would matter if he had you in his sights.) To me his buddy Paulie ‘Walnuts’ is the true psychopath.
Lovefraud readers have earned the right the hard way to know what is and what isn’t a believably psychopathic. Which movies/shows/books do you think get the essential quality?
stormee
The only” Pity Party” is the “party” that they (the sociopaths) throw for themselves…They are masters at twisting reality into a perverse version of the truth where they are ALWAYS the victims..It’s known as the “pity play”
Indigoblue
thanks Jen thanks stormee
Stargazer
As I’ve gotten to know so many of you through your blogs, I see how very special and valuable you all are, such creative, compassionate human beings. I wish for you to never have to go through the ordeals you have been through again, and for peace and happiness in your lives. (I guess I will include myself too).
Wini
Oxy: I don’t think your son was thinking logically while he killed that girl. I think they are so engulfed in their own pain (whatever that pain is, actual or imaginary, doesn’t really matter) … they are not thinking clearly when they do any of the horrific things they do in life. He was concentrating on the anger that brought him to the deed… temporary insanity at it’s best … all logic is out the window … fueled by his anger and hatred of how he perceived the situation. I don’t need to know the details, I worked with so many dysfunctional people to witness their crazy thinking on a daily basis … I wondered how they put one foot in front of the other to walk into the building every day … and believe me, they made their own lives miserable … no one did it for them. They never worked any of their problems in life out … it just keeps piling higher and higher on their shoulders until they explode.
Hey, they thought if they got rid of me, that would resolve their problems … angry at me because I was a happy person, I could function, I produced (go figure) I didn’t hold grudges, I wasn’t miserable (even though working with the likes of them for over 24 years wasn’t a picnic)?
Anyway, we think clearly (even though they do their best to confuse us … and yes, that confusion does take over for a while) but something (common sense maybe? …. or just a fight for our rights as human beings kicks in), then we move forward to work through our pain, make sense of it, then work it out of our lives.
They are opposite of us… they don’t think clearly, they don’t look inside themselves for answers, only blame others, therefore, never work their pain out of their lives to move on … they are in a perpetual cycle of this crazy vice thinking all the time.
The more I read all the bloggs … the more similarities I see … (we) that were victimized by them … function, they do not.
It’s all opposites … every single one of our stories … they are completely opposite in their thinking, actions … everything opposite of how we function.
I don’t believe they are as carefree as they pretend to be … I do think they bury their pain … but I do think that pain inside of them builds and builds and builds … to the point that they act out with everyone, no matter who that next person (victim) should be … then the jealousy, anger, all the rest of the vices build up … and zap, they nail us.
Peace … just thinking out loud.
Wini
I can’t get the quote Bill Cosby repeats out of my head … it makes so much sense “Hurt people, hurt people”.
Indigoblue
I have a site on the net I can go check on my Psycos progress in life ?????:)~
kerisee04
T7165-
I just skimmed through your blog on moms being the abuser. My stepson was molested by his mom and the judge just gave joint custody of all three kids back to her. I’m so upset at the fact that he doesn’t think it possible for a MOM to molest her son, even though he gave very graphic details of what she did to him. Even though his therapist testified that she felt his disclosure was in no way coached. Even though he was only 4 and knew how sex is accomplished, even though he knew what a woman looks like “down there,” and in fact drew pictures of it, and even though he was sexually acting out with other children.
Blind-a$$ judges…
Indigoblue
My Psyco told me he was molested by a step father , his mother is on 8 or 9 now! he didnt get into details!
He said it didnt bother him , I think he probably used it as a way to get what he wanted ! I think it probably happened when he was around ten but I dont know ! His maturity level at 22 seemed to me to be about 10 -12.
He said to me when your living on the street you have to use what you have ! The only thing he has is good looks !
LOVE jere
BloggerT7165
kerisee04 – Yes it is a very sad fact that judges act this way in cases of sexual abuse. And then there is this:
there is an alarmingly high rate of sexual abuse by females in the backgrounds of rapists, sex offenders and sexually aggressive men – 59% (Petrovich and Templer, 1984), 66% (Groth, 1979) and 80% (Briere and Smiljanich, 1993).
I am getting ready to write (it will post in december) an article that contains excerpts from interviews of 8 women who were sexually abused by their mothers. Probably the most under reported crime there is would be mother-daughter and mother-son sexual abuse.
I have an article on mother-son and mother-daughter sexual abuse that, if you did not find them, may be of some help for you also.
Jewels
Indigo: [The vilian I appologise for not knowing his name but He is great !] *Ted Levine* – played Jame Gumb in “Silence of the Lambs” – was also a Detective in “Wonderland,” about John Holmes’, the porn star – a movie about a porn star with no porn, imagine that – YAY! He’s also “Monk’s” head of Dept, too.
Stormee: [One movie from one of herbooks about Dianne Downs starred Farrah Fawcett, but I can’t remember the name of the movie”] “Small Sacrifices” made-for-tv movie from 1989.
Then the postings kind of took a header south. How Hollywood depicts psychos/socios/antis are all based on novels, or true crime books, or a screenwriters imagination. They can’t possibly include every recognizable diagnostic criteria in every character – I try to be spiritual, but cuss like a trucker (or dockworker…lol) – we are not perfect beings. But this site is full of people striving to overcome terrible life experiences, and finding the support and inspiration that “WORKS FOR THEM.” That’s what LoveFraud is really all about.
There are other blogs for politically-oriented rants; for b****ing about how the Government, country and people are all failing miserably in their individual and collective capacity to foster change through love and caring. LF does this, and I was surprised when this thread veered off the “HOLLYWOOD” theme, descending into the poli-social ills of our world.
Psychos would probably be psychos even in a PERFECT world – all we can do is share experiences, hope, caring, love and empathy here – that’s why I pop in from time to time.
I like to say “Where are we going, and why are we in this handbasket…?”
Have a blessed day everyone.