Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call “Cory.”
It started in 2013. I was a semi-successful, growing recording artist and singer. I just got full custody of my first daughter I was touring. Doing radio interviews. Life was exciting and full of enchantment.
I became involved with a young woman I had been talking to since high school on and off. She had always seemed sweet. And a great mother as she had 2 boys of her own.
We finally got to meet face to face and had sex. I’m not going to lie. It was amazing. She had it all in my eyes looks, charm, amazing in bed. Willing to do things in bed that most women wouldn’t dream of.
The third time we had sex, during it I asked if she was on birth control. She said yes. So I did my deed. And after she blatantly told me she lied. Well excuse me, the words she used were, “I forgot I quit taking it.” Anyway she wound up pregnant with twins.
I was still touring and loving every minute with her. I took her with me a few times.
Eventually there came the “Lockdown.” She accused me of cheating every day. It got to the point that at one of my shows, a young lady came up and said she loved my music. Turns out my pregnant girlfriend showed up with half her whole family and she started accusing of having sex with that girl.
I was so stressed I passed out on stage ”¦ my career was over. I haven’t stepped back on stage since. Anxiety takes me back to that place ”¦
Anyway. I broke up with her after that. And she called me everyday to chastise my decision to leave her.
Eventually, the day my twins were born we got back together. We rented a house. I had just gotten back into school so I could stand a chance at a brighter future for our family. Because at this point I was a singer; I knew nothing else. She was going to go back to work and I was to go to school. We agreed on this.
After awhile I found her poking around my school account and asking who all these women were (classmates on the school chat). I said classmates. And that was all she wrote. I ended up dropping out because of the drama.
We started out sleeping in the same bed. I had the kids (all 5) during the day and I got some rest during the evening. But suddenly she said she felt very ill all the time. She said she couldn’t deal with the kids which left me sleeping in the recliner in the living room with the babies. By myself.
I found myself taking care of the kids day and night by myself. Only for her to come home and go straight to bed (with the occasional sex text which meant it was time for me to go in and perform). I tried to reason with her, saying that this was ridiculous, only to be ridiculed and chastised heavily.
Soon I became very afraid in general about her harming me physically, as her outbursts became more and more violent.
Everything was my fault. No matter what it was. I was useless. I should be grateful that she was still with me.
This soon turned into physical violence. In front of our kids she hit me kicked me, beat me. Broke my nose. My front canine teeth. Fractured my skull. And again it was my fault.
And just to clarify I’m by no means a wuss. I’m 220 pounds soaking wet. 75% muscle. I can handle myself. But for some reason I couldn’t fight back. Or I felt that way anyway.
She had a charm at times that made me feel lucky to have her. She eventually told me I should leave. So me and my daughter left. We share custody of the twins.
Recently it’s been hell. She says she wants me, sends me pictures of herself, saying she wants me, etc.
She called me to tell me she had sex with someone else and it was better than me. Only to turn around the next day to say she sorry and she misses me. Then in the same conversation she says I’m useless etc. What’s messed up is the day after she had sex with this other person she came to my house and had sex with me.
She is sick. Thankfully I’m back in school keeping on keeping on. And just use text to interact with her now that I KNOW what i am dealing with.
There is light somewhere at the end of the tunnel eventually.
Con artist Bobbi Ann Finley now on her 15th husband
I’m so sorry this happened to you!!
I had a male friend who was abused by a female SP,
and it was a nightmare for him!!
I suggest that you read everything here on LC and NC,
Good luck!!
Cat
Cory,
I am sorry for what you’ve endured. You’re in the right place! You’re taking steps to move forward. She is sick, she is abusive and no doubt twisted. She played with your life, your passions, your drive and your kindness for her gain. You’ve lost a lot because of her games. My heart goes out to you.
You are not alone. You’ll find that by talking to people on here. No matter what, spaths are spaths. From the research I’ve done, females like this can be especially cruel.
Like Cat said, read everything on here, online, in books. Reading saved me! Go NC or try for the “grey rock” method. Look it up online if you haven’t already. This is all hard as hell at first. But like you said, there is light at the end of the tunnel eventually. At at least I believe there is and am finally finding some light through all of this.
Have you thought about a safety plan? You’ve made it clear you don’t feel safe and her actions prove you aren’t. Even if you going NC isn’t an option for you at this point because of your children, a safety plan is a must and will help ground you some while you’re trying to make sense of this all.