Many people commenting on this blog have expressed the hope that sociopaths/psychopaths will pay in this lifetime for their evil deeds. Well, I am writing to tell you that if this is your wish, statistics are in your favor. You likely just need to wait it out because psychopathy is associated with life failure, as I will explain.
In a recent study, Psychopathic personality traits and life-success, Dr. Simone Ullrich and colleagues examined relationship success and life success in more than 300 men, they have followed for many years, these men are now 48 years old. In their study, psychopathy was not associated with success in any of life’s domains. When they examined symptoms of psychopathy the interpersonal domain (being charming and manipulative) was not related to ”˜”˜status and wealth” or ”˜”˜successful intimate relationships”. Impulsiveness and antisocial behavior reduced ”˜”˜status and wealth.” The authors state “ It is concluded that psychopathic traits do not contribute to a successful life and that the findings cast doubt on the existence of the successful psychopath.”
You may be asking, What about all the “successful psychopaths” we hear about? First of all, I believe that these are a very tiny minority. Remember that the disorder sociopathy or psychopathy is a group of impairments that I relate to an inability to love, poor impulse control and deficient moral reasoning. Confusion arises because some narcissistic individuals have impaired ability to love accompanied by grandiosity, but their impulse control and moral reasoning are not as impaired. These individuals may achieve some life success (Journal of Personality Disorders, Vol 21(6), Dec 2007. pp. 657-663). So if a person is unable to love and grandiose but not excessively impulsive or immoral, that individual may achieve some career success. But still an inability to love prevents any real relationship success.
So now you can move on. Fate and Karma will get that psychopath/sociopath. You can go about your life working as I do, on trying to love more and live better.
Star,
I’m not big on mustering hatred but man! These guys are too much…blocked your emails? Hmmm, I smell a rat.
It’s sounding as if the silver-tongued devil has had a hoof in that…or the Army guys are thinking you’re a crazy, vindictive, ex – same difference.
I really hope you’re wrong.
Who knows what kind of lies the S told about me? The army guys were the ones who asked me to participate in their investigation. They believed he was committing fraud. I didn’t even know anything about it. Oh, well, I am not gonna fight a whole organization. There is not much I can do about it.
Dear Stargazer,
Write your Congressman a very concise, professional letter describing the case. Don’t personalize this in any way. Explain that you’re concerned that the fraud case the military was initially so interested in seems to have gone no where. At the very least, could you get an update?
The congressman’s staff “looks into it”, and it very quickly becomes a formal investigation within the military chain of command.
It’s called a “congressional investigation”. All military units hate them, because there’s complete and total accountability at every step up and down the chain of command. Nothing can be swept under the table, the glaring light of day shines on the whole sorry mess.
By the time the congressman’s staff has gotten back to you, at least a dozen soldiers have done 2-6 hours of work each investigating and sending material up and down the chain of command.
The next time you have a question, they’ll answer it to your satisfaction. They’ll hate your guts, but they’ll give you a fast, concise answer they earnestly hope meets with your satisfaction.
I know, it sounds bitchy. But yaknowwhat? Sometimes it just doesn’t pay to be nice. I hear Charmin toilet paper is real nice, but I sure wouldn’t want to be treated like a roll of unusually enticing toilet tissue! Moral of the story: don’t be too nice!
Ooh, Elizabeth, thank you! I hope you don’t mind I’m cutting and pasting your post into a word document so I can refer to it. I think I will do just that.
Elizabeth,
I’m not sure how to depersonalize it. I was conned by a sociopath who is a junior lieutenant in the army. When I turned him in to the army for adultery, they informed me that they suspected him of malingering. They asked me (and my friends who met the sociopath) to be key witnesses in their fraud investigation. They were very amenable and friendly to me during this process, which tied up my time, energy, and voicemails for several months. They told me they take these kinds of transgressions very seriously. Several army personnel promised me they would update me on the outcome. Yet every time I check in (every few months), I get a brief response indicating nothing has been done yet. My friends and I faxed in our sworn statements in September, and I was told by the platoon sergeant they were recieved. Yet when the investigator came to my house to take my statement in December, he had never received any of them. Recently, the sociopath appeared on my internet forum claiming tough times are now over for him. When I emailed all three army contacts, they did not give me any information as to the status of the case. One responded that the sociopath has received “administrative punishment” and that he would pass my question to the chain of command. The second did not respond at all. The third (his captain) gave me no information except that the sociopath had not been discharged and was still living on base (an hour from my house). He then blocked me from emailing him again when I tried to ask him directly what was going on. I get the feeling that now that they got my testimony, they are avoiding me. The con artist also has had a “no contact” order against him with regards to me, while he is still in the army. I feel his appearing on the internet forum where I spend a lot of time is a violation of that. The army seems disinterested in this. I feel that as a victim of this person, I have a right to know the status of the case for reasons of my own safety. Army personnel had promised me as much.
**********************************************
How is this not personal? Is this the sort of letter I should write? I’d love to post a draft of it here to have you edit it. What do you recommend me calling him if not a sociopath or a con artist?
Star: If your friends partook in this as well, perhaps they should also be included in the correspondence, or at least sign the letter too – more people, more weight, more attention.
And, EC is right – leave most anything describing feelings or emotions out of it. Stick to factual information and the results of it as much as you can. I think it makes folks uncomfortable when us laymen start diagnosing – even if we are the ones who would best know.
It IS very personal, but get the officials on your side without getting personal – if you can.
I know, it’s stupid.
Make it clear that they came looking for you in the first place.
xox
Do you guys really think I should go through with this? I already got the name and address of my Congressman. Should I send it certified?
Stargazer:
Do it. You’ll kick yourself later if you don’t.
When I first came to Love Fraud, I was still waffling around about whether I should pursue S for the money I lent him. I was going through the “I’m a bigger man than him. He’s already in enough trouble. Etc, etc., etc.”
Healing Heart told me I’d kick myself if I didn’t finish this out. And I realized she was right. So, I did.
If you need a reason, it’s this — you’re a taxpayer. You do not want to see your taxpayer dollars used to support this scamming, sorry-assed sack of shit.
Caso cerrado.
Okay, I’ll do it. But his army base is an hour away from me. Should I contact the Congressperson in his district or mine?
Stargazer:
Contact yours. He represents you. He and his staff have to take care of you as their constituent.