Many people commenting on this blog have expressed the hope that sociopaths/psychopaths will pay in this lifetime for their evil deeds. Well, I am writing to tell you that if this is your wish, statistics are in your favor. You likely just need to wait it out because psychopathy is associated with life failure, as I will explain.
In a recent study, Psychopathic personality traits and life-success, Dr. Simone Ullrich and colleagues examined relationship success and life success in more than 300 men, they have followed for many years, these men are now 48 years old. In their study, psychopathy was not associated with success in any of life’s domains. When they examined symptoms of psychopathy the interpersonal domain (being charming and manipulative) was not related to ”˜”˜status and wealth” or ”˜”˜successful intimate relationships”. Impulsiveness and antisocial behavior reduced ”˜”˜status and wealth.” The authors state “ It is concluded that psychopathic traits do not contribute to a successful life and that the findings cast doubt on the existence of the successful psychopath.”
You may be asking, What about all the “successful psychopaths” we hear about? First of all, I believe that these are a very tiny minority. Remember that the disorder sociopathy or psychopathy is a group of impairments that I relate to an inability to love, poor impulse control and deficient moral reasoning. Confusion arises because some narcissistic individuals have impaired ability to love accompanied by grandiosity, but their impulse control and moral reasoning are not as impaired. These individuals may achieve some life success (Journal of Personality Disorders, Vol 21(6), Dec 2007. pp. 657-663). So if a person is unable to love and grandiose but not excessively impulsive or immoral, that individual may achieve some career success. But still an inability to love prevents any real relationship success.
So now you can move on. Fate and Karma will get that psychopath/sociopath. You can go about your life working as I do, on trying to love more and live better.
Dear Star,
I would send whatever you have (hand or typewritten)
I am OCD about saving “papers” so have copies of just about every receipt, bank statement etc. back to the “garden of Eden” and it has come in handy a bunch of times! Has saved me a bundle in taxes over the years too.
Also proof of all kinds of things, and you never know when something will turn up later that you might need proof of something.
I have taken some “business law” courses and though I am NOT an attorney, at least it has helped me see when my attorney was an idiot! I had a business contract drawn up once by an attorney and he did NOT include anything in the contract about what would happen if my “partner” DIED—aned I read it over and realized it and, it was re-written with that stipulation in there, and guess what—THE PARTNER DIED before the contract was completed, and without that phrase in there that I inserted, I would have lost about $150,000 on that deal.
I think that every highschool ought to have some “business law” classes so a kid would at least know the difference between a tort and a crime, civil law and criminal law, etc. but unfortunately, most people don’t.
There are some adult business classes in many states that you can take for FREE, like if you are planning on starting a business, even if you are NOT planning on starting a business, these courses give you some good information on business law, tax law, etc . that will pay big dividends in many ares of your life.
The courses I took have kept me from getting into a lot of financial trouble (like my late husband did with the psychopaths that stole his corporation in the 70s.) They also made me aware of areas where people could scam me financially. Or where I could be in financial danger just from my own ignorance.
Because WE are honest people, we don’t distrust others on a financial level like we should (for our own benefits) but we need to become more aware of potential scams and dangers of “loaning” money, putting a car in our name because someone else doesn’t have credit to buy one, or insuring it in our name for the same reason—if they have a wreck, we can be the ones with the bill at the end of the trial for damages. I’m not willing to risk that, because I know the dangers and I am not willing to put myself on the line for someone else.
I usually save things quite a while and then throw them away just in time for Murphy’s law. lol I even saved the S’s voice mails. Not for my own enjoyment (ugh) but “just in case”. Especially after Matt’s help, I’m starting to consider going to law school when I can get financially stable. I haven’t been opposed to going back to grad school (I dropped out 9 classes short of an MA many years ago). But I wanted to wait till I found something I was passionate about. Maybe some day I can be an advocate for victims of sociopaths. That would be fun to go back and announce on my reptile site.
Stargazer:
I’d send the written notes with an explanation that this is what you subitted to the Army and the Army then typed up the statement but did not provide you with a copy. I suspect that they probably had you initial the typed copy saying it was a true and accurate statement.
Yes, that is true. They typed them and had us all retype them.
I meant to say they had us all sign the typed copies. The guy drove 2 hours in a blizzard, going to three different homes in 3 different towns to have us sign them.
Stargazer:
I’m assumng the typed copies reflected the written copies and said the same thing. I’d note that in the letter to the Congressman.
Btw: enjoy the red beans and rice recipe and let me know how it turns out.
I may cook it on Saturday from some friends who are coming over. 🙂
I wish to thank you, OxD, Wini, Elizabeth, and everyone else who has helped me and kept me sane through all of this (sorry if I left anyone out). I could not do this without you.
BTW, my friends on the site are exposing the S on his own thread. LOLOLOL I may yet have a victory over there.
Dear Star,
To add to MATT’S recipie for red beans and rice–TONY CHACHERE’S Original CREOLE Seasoning is GREAT in any red beans and rice recipie. Can’t make them without it! I put it in just about everything (great on scrambled eggs with s ome chopped onion in them too!) In fact, Tony’s nephew is a friend of mine, lives in N.O. (I used to live just outside N.O.)
Glad you are feeling stronger, Star, that’s the spirit! That’s what we are all here for, you guys lift me up too, don’t think you don’t. As Jane Smith says “You lovefraud peeps are my friends!” Healing isn’t a “short” road, and it isn’t a “smooth” road, but it is THE ONLY ROAD WORTH TRAVELING! ((((hugs))))
Cool about the seasoning! I made a note of it below the saved recipe. Although you will never catch me putting anything in scrambled eggs, because I cannot stand eggs.
Did you see, Oxy? My friends are exposing the S on the other site. Maybe this story will have a happy ending after all.
Hugs back atcha. I wish I had a gold commemorative skillet to hang on my wall to remind me of how I beat the sociopath. LOL
You know, Oxy, ironically, a skillet helped save me from my stepfather’s abuse. When I was 16 I was home for the summer from my first year at college. I had never stood up to my abusive stepfather in my life. But a year of college made me stronger. My stepfather said something to try to control/abuse me. I went into a rage and picked up an iron skillet and almost hit him on the head with it (he was short). He never said or did anything abusive to me from that day forward. I think there is something very magical about a skillet. LOL
P.S. What kind of beans are red beans? Are they kidney beans? Or are they just called red beans?