Many people commenting on this blog have expressed the hope that sociopaths/psychopaths will pay in this lifetime for their evil deeds. Well, I am writing to tell you that if this is your wish, statistics are in your favor. You likely just need to wait it out because psychopathy is associated with life failure, as I will explain.
In a recent study, Psychopathic personality traits and life-success, Dr. Simone Ullrich and colleagues examined relationship success and life success in more than 300 men, they have followed for many years, these men are now 48 years old. In their study, psychopathy was not associated with success in any of life’s domains. When they examined symptoms of psychopathy the interpersonal domain (being charming and manipulative) was not related to ”˜”˜status and wealth” or ”˜”˜successful intimate relationships”. Impulsiveness and antisocial behavior reduced ”˜”˜status and wealth.” The authors state “ It is concluded that psychopathic traits do not contribute to a successful life and that the findings cast doubt on the existence of the successful psychopath.”
You may be asking, What about all the “successful psychopaths” we hear about? First of all, I believe that these are a very tiny minority. Remember that the disorder sociopathy or psychopathy is a group of impairments that I relate to an inability to love, poor impulse control and deficient moral reasoning. Confusion arises because some narcissistic individuals have impaired ability to love accompanied by grandiosity, but their impulse control and moral reasoning are not as impaired. These individuals may achieve some life success (Journal of Personality Disorders, Vol 21(6), Dec 2007. pp. 657-663). So if a person is unable to love and grandiose but not excessively impulsive or immoral, that individual may achieve some career success. But still an inability to love prevents any real relationship success.
So now you can move on. Fate and Karma will get that psychopath/sociopath. You can go about your life working as I do, on trying to love more and live better.
Matt, I was very amused by the thought of you boinking yourself over the head with a skillet. ha ha ha Thanks for the laugh. Will there be a youtube video?
Hugs,
Thanks again for the legal advice. I can’t get over the luck of having lawyers and therapists on this site. Are there personal trainers, too? I could use one of those. LOL
DEar Matt,
The top of my head is FLAT from BOINKING myself! I think Henry has a semi-flat head from all the times I BOINKED him, too! But it was all love taps! ha ha
I love cooking in the cast iron and tht is about all I use. I have so much cast iron I had to put about half of it in storage since I didn’t have enough room in my kitchen. I have bean pots, dutch ovens in several sizes (we cook over the camp fire coals in them at the living history events) a griddle, skillets, deep skillets, etc. They are so easy to clean and use and are so good at things not sticking if you know how to season them. I build a big fire every so often and throw them into it and burn off any grease build up, then reseason with pure lard, (300 degrees in oven for two + hours, then wipe clean with a paper towel.) I never wash them with soap and only use plastic scrubbers, and of course never let any tomato based or other acid dish sit for long in it. When I am done cleaning them I put them on the stove and heat up until it is dry but not hot, then smear a bit of oil on them before putting them away.
Hoope things are going better for you and that you are de-stressing a bit over all the changes in your life lately. How about some nice legal-talk articles for love fraud?! Now that you have some time to do it!!!! Hint, hint! lol
For Matt and OxD and everyone following my story, here is an update: I sent off 3 copies of the letter. One was to my Congressman; another was to the representative for the town where the army base is; and the third went to my Congressman at his Washington DC. I sent the first two certified, return receipt requested. I also enclosed copies of the original sworn statements which the army investigator sent me this week. And I begrudge every penny of the $15 for envelopes, copies and mailings for that creep. If they investigate it, great. If they don’t, I just hope I never have to hear his name again. I am feeling fairly depressed this week, with all the betrayals and everything weighing on me. I probably won’t be around much for a while.
Thanks again for all the help with this.
Star, good job! I hope it gets some action. Don’t you dare go away and not come her for support when you are down! Gosh I am going to have to get the skillet after you and I just posted on another thread I would let you slide! (((hugs)))) Keep yer-chin-up kiddo! The best is yet to come!!!!
I doubt they politicians will take me seriously. They will probably think I’m a nut case. But at least I know I did everything I can, so that’s one less thing weighing on my mind.
I am just feeling overwhelmed. Stuff–emotions, tasks to do, etc.–keeps piling up, and I’m not feeling much joy or humor in my life at the moment. Now that the letters are done, I have to do taxes, get a letter from my plumber to take my HOA to court, sign up for massage liability insurance, so I can register in Colorado (April is the deadline for massage therapists to become licensed here), just so much work, work, work.
My office job drags me down so much too. I had a dream the other night that I did something at work that I knew would get me fired. I asked my boss if I was fired and she said yes. I said, “Oh” very nonchalantly. “I guess I’ll apply for unemployment.” Then I thought about it and said, “Oh wait a minute, you can’t get unemployment if your were fired, can you?” She said no. And I said “Oh”. “I guess I’ll have to figure out something else.” In the dream, even though I was broke and about to lose everything, I was totally fine with losing that POS job. This is pretty much how I feel about it. It would almost be worth living in a shelter just to be able to quit. It feels like prison to me.
To top it all off, the day I was supposed to go to my HOA meeting with the plumber’s letter to maybe plead my case again, I got called for JURY DUTY!
Just too many betrayals in my life. They have finally caught up with me, and I am just worn down. I feel like I don’t trust anyone, and don’t get pleasure from even being on the reptile site any more because I don’t trust them either.
Now I have to get ready to do a massage. I have to do another one tomorrow morning. I could really just use a DAY OFF.
Star. You sure did do everything you could! You may be feeling a little bit of the “after-effects” of finishing everything you had to do with that creep. And unsettled with not knowing how it will turn out. But you did all you could and thats all that matters. After that massage tonight. One priority at a time. Seems like you are sorting out who and what you want in your life. It is all overwhelming, but you like all of us will get through this. We all will.
Thanks, learnthelesson. And BTW, could you remind me what the lesson is again? I seem to have forgotten.
STAR….UMMM.. THE LESSON U ASK…. UM… SO FAR ITS …NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT A SKILLET. FOR ANY POTENTIAL N/S/P’S YOU MEET ALONG THE WAY AND FOR YOURSELF INCASE YOU SAW RED FLAGS AND IGNORED THEM.
Stargazer-I guess we all have lessons, all different and still the same.
Here’s one I’ve learned: Stargazer is a good and loving person with a good heart. I hope she’s happy and finds the way to have her dreams fulfilled. She deserves it.
I had that lesson. I’m keeping my certificate. Nobody can take it away.
I don’t have an iron skillet, so that’s the best I can do.
SERIOUSLY THO…. Today, on my walk, this is what I was thinking one of my lessons might be. It does not directly connect with what I set out to accomplish – which was soul searching, but being a procrastinator is my middle name.. Anyway, this was my thought today, somewhere between being an EM-PATH and an S-PATH is the PATH I want to take. I dont know if anyone can relate or not, but one of my struggles in the aftermath, has really been to see him for who he is (not what his potential was and certainly not who I thought he was). And at the same time see myself for who I was/am before, during and now after. You see, I feel (and I hope I dont offend anyone) but I feel he had some characteristics/qualities that I admired and at the same time I lack. And that I have some characteristics/qualities that he admired/lacked. And the fact that I read an article that there are many many successful S/P/N’s in the business world, as well as certain types of S/P/N’s that are able to go through life with alot less agony and grief than the “E-paths” in life, really made me think and wonder…
I was extremely SELFLESS in this relationship (an unhealthy pathetic/SELFLESS) he was extremely SELFISH (an unhealthy selfish/evil) – so my lesson is to see that we both came with crap/imperfections. The difference is a Sociopath will never truly WANT to become a different person, learn to be a little more selfless or want to learn to acquire the personality traits he was born w/out or lacks, had squashed or quit learning or perhaps acquired by default somewhere along the way. But a severly empathetic person (who gets and allows themself to be used/abused/trampled on) can choose to be a different person – a bit more selfish (in a healthy way) (for herself/himself) BUT NOT TO BE USED AGAINST SOMEONE IN A HURTFUL MANNER OR AN INTENTIONAL D & D MANNER – BUT CAN CHOOSE TO TURN AND WALK AWAY FOR ALL THE RIGHT REASONS, NOT BECAUSE DIDNT GET THEIR WAY WITH SOMEONE, BUT BECAUSE OF THE WAY IT IS UNHEALTHY, STAGNANT, NO MUTUAL GROWTH, LOVE, OR UNDERSTANDING
Its been really important for me personally to work through my confusion of having to “acquire” SOME of his personality traits in order to heal and make myself a better stronger person in my relationships and in society.
Hit me over the head with a lard filled skillet if you have to Oxy, but I decided I was going to post whatever was coming out of my head no matter what. It will either be flattened like a pancake or reaching heaven on earth by the time I get to a better place.