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By | April 16, 2011 30 Comments

RESOURCE PERSPECTIVES: The psychopath cartoons

Editor’s note: Resource Perspectives features articles written by members of Lovefraud’s Professional Resources Guide.

Sarah Strudwick, based in the UK, is author of Dark Souls—Healing and recovering from toxic relationships.

Mr. Invincible and other Un-Inspiring Characters

By Sarah Strudwick

Sarah Strudwick profile in the Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide

As many of your know, having come out of relationships with sociopaths often we feel powerless. Some like Donna and others like myself have felt inspired to speak up and share our stories and talk about their experiences. I had this little voice that wanted to shout from the rooftops in the hope that others would not have to go through what I had to.

When I was child I felt powerless to speak up to abusers, which was one of the reasons why I kept on attracting psychopathic types during my adult life. As a life coach, there is a technique whereby you reduce your abuser to a cartoon-sized character in your head so they no longer have power over you. Imagine, for example, Mickey Mouse screaming at you and trying to throw a fist in your direction. When you play the image back it has less of an impact. At the same time, it doesn’t take away from the dynamics of what actually happened, but allows the victim to see things in a different way.

I live in the UK and we have a strange sense of humour. I was a big fan of the two comedians called The Two Ronnies. At the end of the show, they would say, “It’s good night from me and it’s good night from him.”

After healing and realising my sense of humour was still intact, it led me to create an animated character and find a voice and educate people on Youtube about the psychopathic type personality. In my book I call them Dark Souls.

Reducing the abuser to a cartoon sized character not only has the effect of lessoning their power over us, but also it enables those people who don’t particularly like reading lots of long texts to educate themselves in a fun, informative way.  Also, Youtube is an excellent platform if used properly for educating people. The videos are now shared on many blogs. Here are some of the most commonly viewed.

Mr. Invincible — The Invisible Psychopaths Among Us

Exposing the Mask of Insanity

This particular video exposes the “dual” nature of sociopathic personalities, whereby they hide their real self behind a mask, hence the inspiration from The Two Ronnies.

I have been inspired to do other videos including one on why empaths like myself are drawn to these people, or should I say WERE drawn to them, and why they choose us and why we as victims need to change.

Because I am highly sensitive and work with energy, I think the most favourite one is:

Extreme Energy Vampires

I was inspired to do this video after my ex kept trying to call me at home from a withheld number after we finished, just to hear my voice. I knew he was watching my website so I put this one up and suddenly the calls stopped.

Although I have now moved on I occasionally see something that inspires me to put up a new video like the recent Charlie Sheen story:

Charlie Sheen — Love Me or Hate Me

I’ll continue to keep on putting up the videos because it not only helps victims, but videos like “Mr. Invincible” help to educate the masses too. Despite some mild swearing on them, which is done for obvious reasons, I hope they will make a few people smile in the process.

 

 


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skylar

Sarah, thanks for all your work.
My sister is a spath (as is my bro and my exP and soooo many other people in my life). But she is a very stupid spath that doesn’t realize that my ExP sent a trojan spath to marry her and will eventually dump or kill her (he took out a million dollar policy on her before they were married).

Even though she is a spath, I’d feel bad to know that her spath husband killed her. Anything you can do to illuminate the dumbest of the dumb, is appreciated. I was pretty dumb myself when, as a teenager, I met my spath and got taken in.

If your cartoon/videos can educate those who “hate to read” you will save many lives. thank you.

bulletproof

Sarah,

I think these cartoons are brilliant. I love the voices, the silly suits and the constant exposure. My favorite cartoon is ‘exposing the mask of insanity’ it is very funny. I absolutely love the way you have reduced the dark soul into a cartoon!! what a great and powerful idea. They are clear in message, get straight to the core of the scam and are beautifully “light” and easy to watch.

I know how terrifying these asshos really are, but kids do not nessecarily have a clue. …I will be showing these beautiful cartoons to secondary school girls as soon as Easter hols are finished. I am always looking for novel ways to get the message out there especially to teenage girls, I know they will enjoy these and it will no doubt spark off discussions and sharing afterwards
Keep up the brilliant work! thanks to lovefraud for hi lighting these cartoons…they are priceless

OneBeliever

Thank you for sharing these. They are truly brilliant.

When I first started falling in love with the sociopath who came into my life, I made a music compilation for him called “Monster.” It had all kinds of great songs on it about monster types – Godzilla by Blue Oyster Cult, Iron Man by Black Sabbath, Ice Cream Man by Van Halen, Werewolf by Cat Power, Disturbia by Rihanna, Stranglehold by Ted Nugent, Turbo Lover by Judas Priest, The Four Horsemen by Metallica, Seven Nation Army by White Strongs and a few others- really great music.

Now I know I was trying to tell myself something.

Funny thing is, he took the disc with him on a road trip he took with his children and they loved it. Right at this very moment that I am typing this I am realizing that he probably had one of those weird sociopath kicks out of playing this disc for them because they dind’t know I existed at the time of the trip.

He told me after the trip that his kids totally dug the disc.

I hope they got the message that I didn’t even know I was sending.

moveingon

Hello Sarah

These are brilliant ..6 years along the road of trying to get rid of a sociopath and narcissist …these made me giggle, my SPs mask is now a blue hair rinse; utterly vain as they all are.

xxx

skylar

OneBeliever,
I like your name. Why did you choose it?

Your music compilation story rings true for me. After I woke from the spell, I remembered how my own words and actions were telling me what I couldn’t/didn’t want to believe. Add to that all the “TELLS” the spath told me, and the truth of betrayal should have been loud and clear. But who can believe such an outrageous betrayal? Not until I came to learn that these creatures exist everywhere, could I make sense of it.

The gut feelings were there all along. Learning to trust them is key.

DancingWarrior

Jar of Hearts–you all know the song, right?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8v_4O44sfjM

Love the dance/acting in the video, and the final confrontation when the man falls and she walks over him. YOU GO Christina!!

This is my dream–to walk away with that power and to have a confrontation. I feel I am feeding stbx H’s ego (still giving him supply) because my NC is out of FEAR. NC is useful for self-preservation during divorce, to avoid his manipulation and keep my sanity. But, I’d rather feel free and strong and unafraid and tell him how it is, and show him to his face that I am not perturbed by his antics and feel totally cool talking about the logistics of divorce, or our child, or whatever. I back away bec. I believe that my fear will take over and he’ll win somehow in any exchange–email, phone, or in person. This AVOIDANCE makes me feel weak.

On the other hand, I had the inkling to send the song to the recently x b/f who dropped off the face of the earth at the first time I decided to take a weekend to myself and didn’t fall for his blame and anger afterwards. Better leave sleeping dogs lie, what do you say Skylar? If I sent him the song–he’d turn it off, or gloat over the fact that I’m still thinking of him and giving him attention, or feeling ANYTHING–sad or angry or anything at all–about HIM.

skylar

Yeah, DW, stay NC.
He’s playing a game of chicken to see who blinks first. Don’t let it be you.

DancingWarrior

Sky–“he” as in b/f, right?
Creep.
Thanks, great name for it.
Creep.

skylar

yeah, b/f the creep.

Funny, my spath used to call himself, “the creep”. He even signed an apology card “the creep”, way back when we first met.

OneBeliever

Hi there, Skylar.

Thank you for the compliment on the name. Funny, I chose it early on in my travels in the LoveFraud arena. I chose it because I came to the realization that my (always thankfully) ex boyfriend was a complete and utter liar. However, for him to achieve that status – and for me the lie is a lifestyle choice worthy of status in the same way many of us choose our status choices – house, car, purse etc – he required a believer.

I chose my name because it occured to me that in order for him to be successful at all the crazy things he did, we did and he will always continue to do – he MUST have believers.

I am OneBeliever because it gives me equal and better status than every sociopath on the planet. Being a believer makes you pure and good – like I was before I knew the awful truth about him. It also makes me ready to believe again. And I really want to believe again.

It is always the truth that sets you free. That faith makes me happy now.

skylar

Wow! OneBeliever,
amazing insight. they are like cult leaders that need followers. They need the special 2nd in command (the OneBeliever) and then the apostles and all the other believers. You are so right.

You’ve spoken about the essence of the spath. It is what Dr. Peck wrote about in “the people of the lie”. They lie, we believe and reality is usurped.

sick, sick, puke.

OneBeliever

Confession – I think my ex BF was probably the last in a series of socios, but this one was the only one I ever really fell for, and it was a long and painful fall.

I live in a fraudulent-prone city. I was born and raised here before a slumber party promise became a city slogan. What happens here, stays here – this is a sociopath’s mantra.

For whatever reason, I’d been immune to the crap until he walked into my store. (I was shutting down my retail business and taking a new job when we met.) Right place right time for him – not so much for me.

I believe in my future and the ability of the universe to punish him.

lesson learned

OneBeliever!!

WOW! I’m so amazed at your faith!!! Fantastic posts! You inspire me!

LL

skylar

OneBeliever,
oh, so you are very aware. that’s a good thing. His entry into your life will reveal the tiny chink in your armor. Pay close attention. It could be a gift to you. You are inspiring.

lesson learned

Well, I’m kind of a downer now too. LOL! It happens.

So tired.

Well, I need to get to emails. I hope you feel better sky.

Love ya guys.

Ox…..hey are you back yet? How did your thing go this weekend?

LL

Hope to heal

Great videos Sarah! Thank you!!

Erdelyi

As a “enabler” of TWO non-relationship relationships with two spaths both found on match.com……

I knew all about the spath destructiveness for MANY years previous because I had a guy pal in high school who was my first “encounter” with the dark side of lies and manipulation. This was in the mid-1970s when the only info that was available was in textbooks on psycholocical “disorders”. The self-help book selection was limited to saving your marriage manuals. The narcissistic/sociopath disorder was never considered an issue- “frigid” sexual response was usually blamed for a bad marriage- remember those days girls? HA! I’m getting off track now….but now that there is much more preventitive material available to the general (gullible) public- will it really HELP an individual who is trusting and doesn’t want to think negatively about his/her spath partner? Problem is no matter how much warning you give a “first timer” they just never believe you. These “cartoons” are much more specific than a book. I hope more people pay attention. The only way you can stop a spath is if his/her scheme is NEVER effective on ANY one! Not likely….sadly….these people just move from potential target to potential target until they hit the bullseye- which eventually they all do. A good place to find spaths is match.com and other dating sites. These sites are patrolled by them. Now we’ve made it even easier for spaths to hook up with their targets. Well (shrug) hopefully these educational “cartoons” will get the word out. If only they would listen, sigh!

sistersister

Oh God, yes, I’ve known some energy vampires. Especially one really extreme case, a woman very much loved in a community. I complain, and people say, “She’ll always be that way.” Strangely enough, she’s the one who gets sick, feels like she’s being drained by others. Possibly, one other — her deceased mother — has drained her and continues to do so in her messed-up story of things. She “looks great,” for sure, after she scolds me. I finally just retired from the scene. I still have to deal with her in some ways, but I’m very wary of it. She’s projecting a “holographic image,” but then, so am I when I deal with her. I figure it doesn’t matter whether I’m being my authentic self; that’s not the game that’s being played here. It’s fair. If she’d rather deal with dolls, I’ll be a doll. She thinks she wins, but I get what I need from her. Each time she blows up, stomps away, I know she’ll be back anyway when she smells fresh blood. Fake blood!

sistersister

I had my own Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde. He was a boyfriend who was highly religious. It wasn’t so much that he told an unbelievable, fantastic story when we met, but that he seemed to know the subtle things I really liked. I was completely charmed.

I still remember the last conversation I had with him when I thought we were “relating.” He literally changed his voice from the nice guy to the guy on the high moral horse, judging me as “sinful.” One side totally didn’t hear the other side talk.

I mean, how long did he think he could carry on this mask? I could see it, but he couldn’t. The only part that was deceptive was, I expected to see consistency.

The friend I broke up with last summer was very good at making me feel I had hurt her — not the other way around. Every time I called her on something, she would pour on the guilt. Even when I told her I was onto her for that, she did it again — digging up more personality flaws on my part.

Ox Drover

Sistersister,

Ah yes, the old projection and blame placing….gaslighting at its finest!

Isn’t it amazing though how wonderful it is when we no longer fall for those games? When we actually SEE what they are doing and it doesn’t penetrate any deeper than our ear drums, it just literally bounces back without creating an emotional response—if it does, the response is astonishment that they think we would fall for that any more.

Yep, aaaaaaa-mazzzzzing!

sistersister

Yes, Oxy, but it’s still going to be confusing when it happens.

Because, I think, we’re evolved people. We consider, for instance, that everyone projects. We all complain about things in other people that are really problems in ourselves.

We all do.

And when somebody throws a wrench into that process, creating an endless negative feedback loop, we don’t know what to think. Am I really that bad? Am I seeing anything clearly at all? Do I really carry around so much narcissistic denial?

Ironically, the only way out for me has been to tap into a little pretend-sociopathy in myself. Or is it real? Do I have a part of myself, walled off from the rest, that wants to toy with people? If it “just literally bounces back without creating an emotional response,” and I feel no guilt (in fact, I feel exhilaration!), am I not becoming less of an integrated and compassionate person myself? It almost sounds, when I describe my own hard-learned response, that I am the sociopath!

In short, how much of what we see is real, and how much is distorted? GASLIGHTING . . .

kim frederick

Sistersister, You are refering to what Jung calls, “the shadow”. And yes, we all have one. He says we project out onto others that which we won’t accept in ourselves. It’s only when we aknowledge the hated aspect we see in someone else as also being a part of ourselves do we experience wholeness.
Those things that bother me most in others are probably denied and split off parts of myself.

My shadow may not be your shadow, for example I have an intense dislike for attention whores…but that’s because I fight against that tendency in myself.

I had an interesting experience about 6 mos. ago.
I could not connect with my oldest Grand-daughter. She just irked me, and she didn’t like me much either.

I read a book about this concept and realized that a lot of the things I didn’t like in her were the things I couldn’t accept in myself.

Within a week or two of reading that book and reminding myself why she got on my nerves we began to relate and bond with each-other..

It’s all about self acceptance, but also about compassion for the other.

Just thought I’d throw my 2 cents in.

kim frederick

Another of Jung’s concepts that I like is this: That when I experience a big emotion, perhaps an over reaction, my partner is repressing that same emotion. It works in the reverse, as well. When my partner expresses a big emotion, that I might percieve as an over reaction, I am probably repressing that emotion in myself.

I just think it’s an interesting theory.

Hope to heal

kim ~ your reference to “the shadow” brought to mind the lyrics of a song that always gave me the willys.

The Stranger by Billy Joel

Well we all have a face
That we hide away forever
And we take them out and show ourselves
When everyone has gone
Some are satin, some are steel
Some are silk and some are leather
They’re the faces of the stranger
But we love to try them on

CHORUS
Well we all fall in love
But we disregard the danger
Though we share so many secrets
There are some we never tell
Why were you so surprised
That you never saw the stranger?
Did you ever let your lover
See the stranger in yourself?
Don’t be afraid to try again
Everyone goes south
Every now and then
You’ve done it, why can’t someone else?
You should know by now,
You’ve been there yourself

Once I used to believe I was such a great romancer
Then I came home to a woman
That I could not recognize
Though I pressed her for a reason,
She refused to even answer
It was then I felt the stranger
Kick me right between the eyes

REPEAT CHORUS

You may never understand
How the stranger is inspired
But he isn’t always evil
And he is not always wrong
Though you drown in good intentions,
You will never quench the fire
You’ll give in to your desire
When the stranger comes along

kim frederick

Yeah, and that reminds me of anima and animus.

Hope to heal

Was not familiar with that, had to look it up.

I actually got chills the first time I heard “The Stranger”. It’s weird how instincts make us react that way.

kim frederick

A lot of Sting’s music gives me that feeling.

apples of the eye
superkid10

Skylar

Regarding your comment that your spath used to sign things “the creep”. He was, and he knew it!

My spath constantly told me that I was too trusting. He would say that all the time. I’d argue back that people are essentially good, without trust and cooperation we wouldn’t have babies, or cities, or electricity, that the human race would have self destructed a long time ago.

I realize NOW that he was telling me that HE shouldn’t be trusted.

I was speaking in generalities, and he was talking specifics.

Big difference.

Loser.

skylar

Superkid,
yep, they like to do a “tell”.
Mine “told” me so many times that he was poisoning me, using me, etc… but always with that Judas kiss.
How the hell could I have known anyone is that empty that they would choose to spend their lives living a complete lie?

How could I have known that for some people love is really hate and everything they say is 180 degrees the opposite of the truth?

It’s why they’re called the people of the lie. The lie is how you will know them.

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