Editor’s note: Resource Perspectives features articles written by members of Lovefraud’s Professional Resources Guide.
Rebecca Potter works as a licensed mental health counselor in West Palm Beach, Florida. She can be reached at: tlc211@gmail.com.
Judge William Adams shown beating his daughter with a belt on YouTube
By Rebecca Potter
Rebecca Potter profile in the Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide
As I saw the following video and commentary on CNN last night, I could not sleep. It appears that the sheriff in the town of Rockport, Texas has received countless calls of concern about Judge William Adams, who was shown beating his daughter with a belt on YouTube. Judge Adams is a family court judge. People were concerned about this judge being allowed to make decisions about the welfare of children. Judge Adams has three years left to make decisions about the welfare of families in Rockport, Texas.
Here’s the YouTube video: Judge William Adams beats daughter for using the Internet
Judge Adams feels that he was fairly disciplining his daughter for downloading music from the Internet. When I saw this video of his daughter, who has cerebral palsy, she was being beaten with a belt as she begged for him to stop. The daughter had set up her computer web camera as she felt the beating coming. Recent comments from the judge indicate that he sees nothing wrong with how he abused his child. News stories indicate he has left town, and officials are stating that he will not preside over cases that involve children.
Family court ignores the physical and emotion affect of abuse on children
Current research is able to document the effects of child abuse on the brain. As a professional, when I testify in court regarding the damage to children from trauma and abuse, I am not taken seriously. The judges feel that there is no physical damage, and they say permissive parenting by the protective parent is the cause of acting out behaviors of children. Meanwhile, current research shows that 60 percent of children who experience trauma and abuse will develop a substance use disorder.
Unfortunately, many of us have had to appear before judges like the Texas Judge Adams who feels justified to whip (beat and attack) his daughter with a belt, as she had been caught downloading music. These judges discount the scientific research and evidence of physical abuse causing permanent brain damage.
Hanley Center currently researching the effects of substance use and trauma on brain health
Brain scan technology is showing evidence of physical scars that occur in the brain after trauma and abuse. I attended a lecture by Dr. Barbara Krantz, Medical Director of the Hanley Center in West Palm Beach, Florida. Brain imaging is being used in her facility. It is now possible to document what drugs and/or alcohol have been consumed based on the areas of the brain that show injury in brain scans. What also was shared was the difference in the hippocampus of an abused child and the hippocampus of a child who did not suffer abuse. This is the proof of permanent physical damage to the brain of a child who has been abused. Often these children medicate the emotional pain with substance use.
Practicing Mental Health without a license
Family judges are practicing mental health without a license. This practice by family court judges is dangerous to the health of our families, our nation and our financial well-being
- Many of these judges are unaware of current research.
- Judges do not allow children to testify or be a part of the court hearings that determine their well-being
- Children and protective parents are developing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Additionally, when a judge has a tendency for personal pathology, they relate to the litigant who is also shares the personal pathology traits. These disordered individuals agree in the harsh punishment, punishment that does not fit the crime. This is the philosophy of control and dominance. These judges discriminate against the protective parent because they have not processed very personal feelings, and the protective parent is unbearable to their own personal philosophy. The judges are able to make decisions that affect the mental health of a child without the ability to understand their own personal opinions and processing of their own injuries. Readers will want to read articles on www.highconflictinstitute.com to understand the ignorance of judges who are confronted with the high conflict divorce and custody cases.
I have worked in the mental health field, and have had years of training to separate my own personal views and judgments from the individuals that I treat. This discernment and ability to separate your personal opinions and judgment comes from intensive personal training, supervision and counseling. Judges are exposed to mental health issues of families and children. They have not had this training and they are unable to provide a competent decision in these cases. In my opinion, I feel that Family Court judges are being asked to practice the profession of mental health without the proper training.
Judges use of defense mechanisms to insulate themselves against protective parents
When an individual does not have the training, supervision and experience to understand their use of defense mechanisms (your own dysfunction and personal defects), the individual blames and targets the individual who reminds you of your emotional pain. The use of these defense mechanisms allows an individual to insulate themselves from the pain, guilt, and shame.
Often times, the judges are so angered by the protective parent that to further insulate the judge, the protective parent is thrown in jail, or worse, the children are taken away and given to the parent with whom the judge can relate and identify. There is further emotional and financial pain placed upon the protective parent. The protective parent and children are damaged by the trauma of the court and develop complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
In my opinion, this is use of a defense mechanisms to project blame and repress the protective parent. If the children are removed and the protective parent is placed in jail, the judges do not have to face their own dysfunction. The saying, “out of sight, out of mind” is the attitude of a dysfunctional individual who wants to keep memories, fears, guilt and shame repressed.
Behavioral Research
Typically, all behavior research has demonstrated that punishment does not achieve a reduction in undesirable behavior. Punishment will actually increase the behavior. The individual who is punished will become more rebellious, fearful and sneaky. There are some severe situations in which punishment is used to extinguish a behavior. The use of punishment must be reviewed by other professionals to determine the effectiveness of the punishment and the safety of a plan that is put in place.
Overseeing the Family Court System
The children who are exposed to court and legal trauma are developing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. They have been exposed to a war and punishment. The children are left in a state of hopeless despair, fear and victimhood. There is no committee of professionals who oversee the effect of the Family Court decisions on families and children.
I honor the courage and strength of the judge’s daughter for exposing his abuse to the nation. I feel inspired by this brave young girl’s courage and write about this very controversial topic to inspire our nation to band together to write letters and support each other as we attempt to change this ignorant archaic system used in our courts.
One person will not be able to change this system. It is time to band together and develop a plan to insist that the judges no longer have the only authority to make decisions for families. We must also insist that psychologists who depend on the court for fees are not allowed to diagnose a traumatized parent as a personality disordered parent. It takes a trauma specialist to diagnose this disorder and protective parents are often diagnosed with personality disorders. This has become a major epidemic in the American judicial system, an epidemic that has serious legal, health and financial consequences to our nation. We need to demand committees of independent professionals be involved in Family Court decisions.
OxyD,
Abuse is twisted and much of the dynamics seem covert around the actual act. When we grow up in it, even if we are insightful, we have our own programming. I never seem to be done finding brand new “aha” moments of the FOO….
I have always felt like life is a journey and an adventure but lately it’s been much too adventurous for me!…
I was using an analogy teaching my daughter how a strong tree trunk is important in life and you must be solid like an oak. I was explaining about storms coming by and blowing the twiggy tree down but how it can’t move the big solid oak and that’s what we’re working toward. Well I went to counseling and what does he do (my counselor)? He breaks out a picture of TREE! I was just looking at him and he said the same thing I said to my daughter with the trunk being our CORE or FOO learning. I asked him if it should be making me go hhhhmm?? I guess maybe I am closer than I think to some more “aha” moments. Or maybe it’s just where the work REALLY needs to be happening….
I thought it was ironic. It’s easier to be on the other side of clipboard sometimes. LOL…
Eralyn, there is also the analogy that the GRASS bends with the wind and the wind turns over the tree which won’t give in its path, so there are multiple ways to look at “being strong.”
We do have to keep our CORE values and thoughts strong though, you and your counselor are both right about that.
The problem is when that core is WRONG. Just like a child who grows up with prejudiced thinking thinks that is RIGHT…we are taught that “there is good down in everyone if you look for it.” BS! Not true. “everyone deserves a second chance” BS Also NOT TRUE~! “it takes two to fight” WRONG again! “There are two (valid) sides to every story” BULL HOCKEY!
We are taught these “truisms” from the time we can talk and they are not true…and there are others as well, but we take in those things and we believe they are true so we work with that as a basis. Just like “you always stick with family, NO MATTER WHAT” or “let’s just pretend it never happened” “forgiveness means you pretend it didn’t happen” and the ever popular ” if you don’t forgive, you will go to hell and burn forever.”
We have to root out these FALSE beliefs and change them so that we can operate on principles that are closer to truth. If we continue to use the FALSE teachings of our FOO as a basis for our lives without rooting out and changing the ones that are not true, we can never sort it out.
It’s almost like we have to go back to square 1 and relearn ever principle we ever learned.
Eralyn. you were jumping around so much that I had trouble following you.
What happened to the other woman who’s parents spent over $250K on the case? Were they supporting her or trying to stop her? What happened to you? Were you selected for this committee?
G1S,
I know I was jumping around and I thought about how fragmented I was getting as suddenly I went on overload due to the HLN show coming on about the judges and I knew everyone here was passionate about it. Sorry about that.
The woman who’s family helped her with the $250k for her family court case, were attempting to help her (their daughter) protect their granddaughters from the father. They had been exposed to abuse and he had abandoned them for a while and came back expecting to jump right in as daddy which caused them all many problems with suicidal thoughts and migraines and more. She never got selected on the committee and neither did I. I even had a childs advocate non-profit who helped me a bit say they would nominate me but I was going to be that ONE who would call out the money people who were harming children churning cases. They want the more ignorant or those who will “go along” with business as usual. (I actually thought about faking as if I was an airhead..lol just to get on the committee)
Now that I understand how the money works, even some advocates that do some good for people in family court, do little and live off the grants and donations WELL so they don’t want it changing.
Also while I was posting here earlier my friend in California had just sent me a blog about how the courts all tie in to some stuff that gets me very frazzled and I need to keep this in mind as it’s overload sometimes and I get anxious as I want to FIX it or shout it from the hilltops.
OxD,
Every sti kin one of the BS falsehoods you mentioned above have been fed and programmed to me and I naturally fought by instinct some but it’s so true that you cannot be fully authentic with all that garbage.
Getting back to the CORE seems so overwhelming right now. Like a task I cannot accomplish. I am so defeated at this point and more than I have ever been due to the length of and the severity of psychological abuse. I really was way past done after one year of the game and I couldn’t get out. It really was rapid fire and it went on for almost 4 years but slowed recently. I hope the work I did in my past through counseling helps me have a chance to build that core back more quickly if ever! We all deserve it. It might just be our purpose of our journey on a good thought. 🙂
OxD, this whole experience with the second exspath shed halogen light on my flawed “core” beliefs. Now, that is not to say that this truth was comfortable or welcome. I didn’t “like” that people aren’t always deserving of trust, one iota. But, accepting that truth also shed more light onto WHY I maintained that flawed belief.
It is far easier to just “trust” that someone is speaking the truth instead of watching, listening, and observing. The latter requires patience and objectivity, and it might result in “losing” the relationship, right? So, I wanted everyone to approve of me and accept me, therefore, I would give them my trust without question. I was fearful of constructing boundaries because boundaries meant that I might find myself “alone!”
Although my flawed core beliefs left me open to predation, they were solely MY flawed beliefs. I’m finally okay with myself – who I am, my capabilities, and my strengths and vulnerabilities. I have finally gotten to the point where my well-being is far more important than anyone else’s. I have learned that this fact will allow me the LUXURY of choosing who I will befriend, what I won’t tolerate, and to not fear abaondonment by toxic people that intend harm.
The core beliefs are not written in stone. If core beliefs allow for us to be harmed or exploited, then we have the ability (and, mandate) to ALTER them. It’s sort of like going to one religious institution to find comfort and realizing that there are specific doctrines that demand that we tolerate abuse, without question. Are we going to remain devotees to those flawed doctrines, or are we going to walk on to the next possibility? It strictly becomes a choice about what we deserve and what we will tolerate.
Brightest blessings
Eralyn,
That where I suspected you were going with what you had written, but I wanted to make sure.
Nothing like stocking the pool so things happen without you being challenged, eh?
Eralyn,
I know about wanting to “shout it from the house tops” and unfortunately many times no one hears! I wish it were that simple.
Unfortunately, there is a BIG problem out there with the police, courts, prisons, rehabilitation groups (both criminal and druggie) and we all know that psychopaths make up a LARGE PERCENTAGE of the criminals and can NOT be re-habilitated, because they were never :hibilitated: in the first place. LOL
We also know that the 75% of criminal inmates which are NOT high enough on the PCL-R to be classified as psychopaths, the average score is 22 so they are mostly “bad actors” at the very least and ONLY A FEW will be changed by anything. Yet, great funds are spent trying to “re-habilitate” these convicts….and people make a living off of the beliefs that all but the VERY WORST can be “reformed.” They just need to find Jezus or the Prophet and they are gonna be just fine.
Truthspeak,
I am looking at your post and thinking UM YES! It is a lot of work to observe, listen and qualify a person for our trust or their intent! AHA! I am the first one to say I DON’T want to think that much and have been known to avoid it!!! My parents were not academically educated much at all. Both are highly intelligent though. I just said in counseling the other day that being smart was NOT an asset in our home. I think I was actually programmed to dumb it down by my parents!! Now I am not saying this was intentional but it totally makes sense all of a sudden. One more reason not to stop think assess and use your brain when meeting others. Aside from the fact that yes you may have to possibly judge them (which I avoided at the cost of almost my life more than once).
I HAD to put my brainiac hat on to fight this court system. I just didn’t have the funds and I was in a fight for the safety of my daughter and I was up against a monster bigger than the monster that I knew. Mind blowing. But very obvious that I likened it to special ops in the military. So brains have been obvious through this survival mission. It just shows how much I wasn’t relying on them though.
Wisdom, now that’s something different.
Ok maybe just maybe I will be able to put this cracked pot or humpty dumpty back together again.
G1S,
Yes You are exactly RIGHT! lol………