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In the beginning of January, our family took in a foster child. This boy is a 3-year-old retired racing greyhound. His behavior over the last 6 weeks has reminded me of my own journey of healing and teaches us about the biologic nature of psychological symptoms. There is no doubt that this poor boy suffers from PTSD. Furthermore, the PTSD has caused depression and has prevented him from being able to enjoy his life.
As part of a conscious program to teach empathy and caretaking to the children, we’ve fostered many dogs over the last 4 years. Although each dog had a sad story to tell, none came with the combination of symptoms Mr. Goodstuff suffered. I have never seen a dog as fearful and yet as placid as this animal. In some dogs, fear might be associated with aggressiveness and self defense. Although Mr. Goodstuff is fearful, he lacks completely the ability to defend himself. He even runs from our dachshund who is an eighth his size. I think this shows that anxiety can manifest differently in beings with different temperaments. Since the greyhound is not by nature aggressive, he does not become defensively aggressive when anxious. |
| Most striking of all was that with all this anxiety, Mr. Goodstuff could not tolerate being alone. He followed us around the house and if he could not see one of us, he immediately began to howl. If we left him alone, he became so distressed that he had diarrhea in his crate. I believe this represents the dog version of Stockholm Syndrome. It is clear that even though humans are the source of his distress, he feels compelled still to seek us out to calm his fears. It is good that we are loving and affectionate, otherwise he would be seeking to have his anxiety relieved by a tormentor. Sound familiar?
I also have never before seen a dog with clinical depression. When he first arrived, Mr. Goodstuff was unable to experience any pleasure. Although he anxiously sought to be near us, he never wagged his tail and showed a complete absence of play behavior. Although being around us made him feel less anxious, we were not a source of pleasure for him. Looking back, it is apparent that his anxiety depleted him of all pleasure and caused his depression. I have seen this picture in humans many times. The fact that dogs experience the same shows us how biologic these symptoms are. They are not related to a psychology that is uniquely human. All social beings that form attachments are subject to developing PTSD and depression when abused by another who is the object of the attachment. The job of foster mom here is not mine, I am more the foster grandmother. My 14-year-old daughter is the dog whisperer of the family. I am pleased to report that her treatment program has produced much improvement in the symptoms of anxiety and depression. He has gained about 10 pounds and no longer looks emaciated. Seven days ago there was a hint of a wag in his tail. Over the last 3 days he has started to play. He also tolerates being alone and does not mess on the floor when left. What kind of therapy helped Mr. Goodstuff? He has had a good healthy diet and vitamins. He has been showered constantly with love and affection, and just as important, he has been walked several miles a day. I write about Mr. Goodstuff for two reasons. First, to encourage you to adopt a retired racer. Mr. Goodstuff is a great dog. Even though he is large, he is no trouble and is very unobtrusive. It is easy to forget he’s here. If you suffer from PTSD yourself, helping rehabilitate, or taking in permanently, a retired racer might be therapeutic for you. You also need companionship, affection and exercise. You can get all of these from a greyhound. The second reason I write about PTSD and depression in dogs is to demonstrate the inter-related nature of these conditions. Treat one and the other will also respond. Both respond very well to exercise. Those of us who have suffered at the hands of an aggressor can uniquely empathize with the plight of other beings who have had similar experiences. It is therapeutic for us to put that empathy to action and do good for another, even if that other is not a human. |
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When my ex started to see that his strategies weren’t working anymore, and he became more frustrated, he of course would tell me I was being evil and cruel, vindictive and unsympathetic to HIS needs(back child support had stripped him of his drivers license a decent credit rating), not that he ever cared about mine.
To which I would answer, “If you keep abusing a dog, eventually it will turn on you.” He never even tried to point out that I wasn’t a dog. (that is supposed to be ironically funny).
certain dogs and people won’t turn on the abuser because it is not in their nature to do so.
Sorry, that wasn’t my intention to imply that in a broad spectrum, I was just using the old adage. I know several breeds of dogs do not have an aggressive quality, and do shut down and take lots of love to heal…It was not my intention to imply that at any time your dog, or most dogs, would become aggressive in any way. My apologies.
Do you think you can teach children empathy? Or just teach children how to respond to their empathy, providing they have it?
At any rate, this story reminds me of that Star Trek episode – “Dagger of the Mind”, and the “neural neutralizer” – a machine/medical apparatus that can be used to almost instantaneously create a Stockholm Syndrome effect.
As for dogs turning – I think many can be unpredictable in the right situations. But it definitely has a lot to do with the BREED. The fact is, that genetics plays a big role in that. And some breeds were specifically bred to be aggressive. Moreover, some are just born unstable from the start.
That said, most bitches with pups have the propensity to turn nasty, unexpectedly, under the right circumstances involving their offspring, regardless of breed.
However, My Sociopath owes several thousands of dollars in child support. The district attorney has deterants set-up to encourage payment: Negative credit rating, loss of drivers and business license, loss of passport etc. He has not paid and is subject to all of the above consequences. To which he blames me for. The fact that he owes the child support is of his doing alone.
I refuse to accept responsibility for his failures. I actually closed the case at one time. He promised to pay his arrears, took 50% custody of our son, then, as soon as the ink was dry, stopped taking him and didn’t even do as much as visitation, and did not pay the arrears he owed. I reopened the case with the District Attorney. Now he is trying the same tactics he did previously to get me to close the case. I gave him an opportunity, and he “kicked” me. Now he is playing the blame game and turning it on me (again). The “abusing the dog and it will turn on you” is only a figure of speech. I have not turned on him, I am not vindictive. I literally can’t care about his situations, feelings, or hardships anymore. As that is what being victim to a sociopath is all about.
I am really touched by this story. Liane, on behalf of Mr. Goodstuff, let me say thank you to you and your family.
I know what a comfort my dog was to me as I was in the midst of the trauma with my sociopathic ex. It’s good to know that we can return the favor.
I love your dog!! Is he the sweetest or what?!!! Look at that face! My dogs, have both been a comfort and security to me…they stay in my salon when I do hair…I thank g-d for them…some times weirdo men come into my shop knowing I’m vulnerable and these dogs really do protect me! Plus they get me up to walk in the mornings! I don’t know what I’d do without my cute-ums!! I literally eat them up, kiss and nibble their cheeks…I lay on top of them and sing to them, and tickle their arms too! (So I’m weird-so what!) I just ache to kiss them!
It is so true – having a dog come into your life during this experience with a S is so therapeutic. 8 months into my relationship I was already knowing I needed to get out and I was spending alot of time at his apartment. I decided to get a dog because it got me out walking every day and I couldnt spend weekends at his place, no dogs allowed there!
I got a rescue dog from the shelter that was slatedfor euthanization simply because she’d scratched her hair so thin because of fleas that no one wanted her. 18 months later, she is a beautiful yellow lab named Libby (liberated) and my best companion. In these healing lonely weeks – its wonderful to have her snuggle up on the bed and lay snoring blissfully asleep next to you.. who could wake up lonely with that! She has been my best friend through this and I suggest this remedy to everyone who has the time and inclination to have a dog in your life. They love you unconditionally, they dont lie, they look you in the eye and they are there happy to see you no matter what. That’s more than my S could have given me!
WP
There is no doubt that empathy has to be taught to children, especially those with genetic risk for sociopathy, addiction and ADHD!
A complete action plan for doing this is found in my books. There are even more tools available at http://www.parentingtheatriskchild.com/catalog/index.php
Empathy stems from the function of the cerebral cortex. This part of the brain changes a great deal with experience. It also atrophies or shrinks when experience is lacking.
Liane: From reading the Hare book, I got the impression that sociopaths are simply incapable of those emotions. And that the higher emotions associated with empathy & conscience, as sociopaths don’t have, are centered in the ventromedial frontal cortex and amygdala.
As for addiction – I don’t think all addicts are necessarily unempathetic people to begin with, and that’s why they become addicts or something. In fact, that seems counter intuitive to me.
I think it’s the drugs that deaden emotions like empathy like an anesthetic.
And if a person continually takes those drugs, naturally those emotions will not be present for days, weeks, or even years on end.
There is, of course, evidence that long-term usage of some drugs can have long-lasting damage to the brain.
But the fact is, that many alcoholics who quit drinking become almost immediately like different people. Thus the whole “Jekyll & Hyde” metaphor.
That’s not to say I think bad parenting would have no ill effects on a child. It’s certainly true that it does play a role in the formation of a personality. As demonstrated by Attachment Disorder, etc.
And I think abusing a child is certainly going to effect the child emotionally in a way that the child may then seek out the emotion anesthesizing effects of drugs & alcohol.
But I think it’s unfair to suggest that all addicts and sociopaths are the result of failure of a parents to try to teach conscientiousness to their children.
In fact, I wonder if good parenting just makes more cleverly acting sociopaths who have an easier time blending with the rest of society, and are better able to manage to get away with what they do.
But you seem to be suggesting you can take a sociopath, and “exercise” a part of the brain to get it working again? Or at least exercise it in the beginning, and then it’ll work, and the person won’t be a sociopath?