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In the beginning of January, our family took in a foster child. This boy is a 3-year-old retired racing greyhound. His behavior over the last 6 weeks has reminded me of my own journey of healing and teaches us about the biologic nature of psychological symptoms. There is no doubt that this poor boy suffers from PTSD. Furthermore, the PTSD has caused depression and has prevented him from being able to enjoy his life.
As part of a conscious program to teach empathy and caretaking to the children, we’ve fostered many dogs over the last 4 years. Although each dog had a sad story to tell, none came with the combination of symptoms Mr. Goodstuff suffered. I have never seen a dog as fearful and yet as placid as this animal. In some dogs, fear might be associated with aggressiveness and self defense. Although Mr. Goodstuff is fearful, he lacks completely the ability to defend himself. He even runs from our dachshund who is an eighth his size. I think this shows that anxiety can manifest differently in beings with different temperaments. Since the greyhound is not by nature aggressive, he does not become defensively aggressive when anxious. |
| Most striking of all was that with all this anxiety, Mr. Goodstuff could not tolerate being alone. He followed us around the house and if he could not see one of us, he immediately began to howl. If we left him alone, he became so distressed that he had diarrhea in his crate. I believe this represents the dog version of Stockholm Syndrome. It is clear that even though humans are the source of his distress, he feels compelled still to seek us out to calm his fears. It is good that we are loving and affectionate, otherwise he would be seeking to have his anxiety relieved by a tormentor. Sound familiar?
I also have never before seen a dog with clinical depression. When he first arrived, Mr. Goodstuff was unable to experience any pleasure. Although he anxiously sought to be near us, he never wagged his tail and showed a complete absence of play behavior. Although being around us made him feel less anxious, we were not a source of pleasure for him. Looking back, it is apparent that his anxiety depleted him of all pleasure and caused his depression. I have seen this picture in humans many times. The fact that dogs experience the same shows us how biologic these symptoms are. They are not related to a psychology that is uniquely human. All social beings that form attachments are subject to developing PTSD and depression when abused by another who is the object of the attachment. The job of foster mom here is not mine, I am more the foster grandmother. My 14-year-old daughter is the dog whisperer of the family. I am pleased to report that her treatment program has produced much improvement in the symptoms of anxiety and depression. He has gained about 10 pounds and no longer looks emaciated. Seven days ago there was a hint of a wag in his tail. Over the last 3 days he has started to play. He also tolerates being alone and does not mess on the floor when left. What kind of therapy helped Mr. Goodstuff? He has had a good healthy diet and vitamins. He has been showered constantly with love and affection, and just as important, he has been walked several miles a day. I write about Mr. Goodstuff for two reasons. First, to encourage you to adopt a retired racer. Mr. Goodstuff is a great dog. Even though he is large, he is no trouble and is very unobtrusive. It is easy to forget he’s here. If you suffer from PTSD yourself, helping rehabilitate, or taking in permanently, a retired racer might be therapeutic for you. You also need companionship, affection and exercise. You can get all of these from a greyhound. The second reason I write about PTSD and depression in dogs is to demonstrate the inter-related nature of these conditions. Treat one and the other will also respond. Both respond very well to exercise. Those of us who have suffered at the hands of an aggressor can uniquely empathize with the plight of other beings who have had similar experiences. It is therapeutic for us to put that empathy to action and do good for another, even if that other is not a human. |
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wp:
I agree with your comments and my sociopath had the Jekkyl & Hyde” syndrome.
Dr. Leedom:
However, I find it interesting that my S was raised in a seemingly loving family and other siblings (5) do not seem to have the sociopathic characteristics and tendencies. My S is an identical twin, and I have only met the twin 3 times…(of course a broken relationship) so am uncertain if the twin is a S, but it would make for an interesting study. The only distinguishing difference between the twins is that my S had insufilitis as a child (at 3) and was hospitalized for several months…I wonder if this could have contributed to or caused the sociopathic behavior by altering his brain? Also I know for a fact that his biological son is a sociopath, so there are certainly some hereditary factors.
My sociopath did not have addictions, in fact he was a body builder, did not drink, smoke, do drugs or even eat sweets. He was very disciplined. Perhaps he is an anomoly to the conventional S? I don’t know. He did have a history of rage and abuse (physical, emotional, and verbal) but hid this very well with me, with the cycle of verbal land emotional abuse occuring with me only every couple of months (he never physically abused me), although he had a history of assault in his young years and used to physically abuse his wife.
The entire study of the sociopath is fascinating; it’s enlightening to figure out the “puzzle”.
I enjoy this website for it’s enlightment and the intelligence and concern of the participants. Thank you.
My family has had a very similar experience recently. We have a lot of stray cats in our neighborhood. My neighbor has adopted one of these strays and bought him a cozy electric heated bed that she keeps on her porch. Another stray kitten started staying in the bed and it started all kinds of cat trouble. My neighbor said she was going to bring the kitten to the pound the next day. I decided to take the cat in. After a few days, I seriously thought about getting rid of the cat. He wanted nothing to do with our family, showed no signs of wanting or giving affection and when we fed him he growled, shook his head from side to side, and his tail fanned out like he was going to attack. We were all kind of afraid of him. The odd thing was he seemed most comfortable with my oldest son (who shows a lot of traits like his sociopathic dad). The cat always sat next to my son on his bed. My son acted like he thought the cat was a pain in the neck, but you could tell he really enjoyed it. After a month, the cat’s stomach started to swell and one day he had blood in his stool. I took him to the vet and found out that the kitten we thought was a male, was a female cat with five kittens inside! A week before she gave birth, my two youngest sons were playing knee hockey in their bedroom. The pregnant cat was watching from under their bureau. The cat couldn’t resist the temptation of joining in on the fun. She would run out just as the ball went by and swat it with her paw. She actually got a few goals! She started coming closer and rubbing against our legs. The growling and tail flaring finally stopped, and her favorite spot was nuzzled up to my 15 year old in his bed (and he did not push her away). The four kittens that have been born have brought so much joy into our home. All of my children have shown respect and empathy for the mother cat by not picking the adorable little kittens up. I noticed all my children (including my fifteen year old just watching the mother cat with her kittens). It truly is a miracle watching the whole process. When I relate the tale of this kitten showing up at our door and the end result, some people respond by saying”what a bummer. You tried to do a good thing, but ended up with four kittens. I don’t see it like that at all. It has truly been a blessing for my family.
To WP and Peggy
I view sociopathy as a learning disability. Dyslexia is genetic and it prevents children from reading at grade level. It is clearly related to a defect in their brains. A child can go to a very good school and not learn well because of his/her dyslexia. Does that mean we declare him/her unsalvagable? NO he/she needs special education. Special education provides the stimulation the brain needs to grow. The usual even good classroom will not do this.
Likewise, children at risk for socioapthy require special education to overcome their disability. Do all dyslexics become perfect readers? Maybe not, but they read a good deal better than they would have, had they not received the special education. All children by law have a right to the special education to treat their dyslexia, shouldn’t children with an empathy/fearlessness risk also receive the same. And yet these poor kids get the opposite, even when they have a parent who is able to provide the special education they need, they have forced visitation with psychopaths that undo all the training. Does this make any sense at all???
It is impossible to know which at risk children will go on to develop sociopathy in spite of the very best special education so we have to provide it to all of them unless they show us they are not at risk. How do we know a child is not at risk? If that child is meek and very conscientious.
The usual “loving” family in America does NOT provide an environment that protects against sociopathy. I will write a post on why because there are many reasons for this.
Also regarding Dr. Hare,
I respectfully state there is no evidence that psychopathy and especially not sociopathy is 100% genetic. ASPD is at least 40% genetic. The temperamental traits that predispose to ADHD, addiction, sociopathy and psychopathy ARE THE SAME. There are many studies showing this. There is not one saying the temperaments of sociopaths and psychopaths are different. While I am the first NOT to blame parents for a child or adolescent’s difficult temperament, I have to encourage them to do the very best they can to provide the special education that at risk children need.
What if we didn’t talk about special education for other learning disabilities because we were afraid that doing so would make some parents feel bad? Or what if we said that some cases of dyslexia are so bad they don’t respond, so just keep all dyslexic kids in their regular good classes and hope for the best?
To Dr. Leedom,
I have clues from my ex that perhaps something was not right with his Dad either. He said his first memory of Daddy was being kicked by a hard shoe. That is sad. And his parents were teenagers.
I work with teenage girls right now in a Group Home. It is so difficult to tell the difference from teenage Narcissism and real Narcissism. I guess when you have children, it is up to the parent to cultivate empathy in the child, especially if it seems lacking.
peggywhoever: The difference between a sociopath’s “jekyll & hyde” behaviour, and actual Jekyll & Hyde behaviour of an alcoholic… Is that an alcoholic turns into Hyde when they drink – the alcohol does something to them – like Jekyll did when he drank his potion. With the sociopath – it’s all an act, drunk or sober, they act whatever way they think is best whenever they need. Some sociopaths have addictions, I’m sure, but I don’t think the 2 necessarily go hand in hand.
And yes, how can parenting be even 10% of the issue when one child turns into a sociopath and the other siblings are normal conscientious loving altruistic people? If it were bad parenting, the other kids would be screwed up somehow too – and that’s NOT always the case.
At any rate, Leedom, I see that you’re in the camp that also sees a difference between the IDENTICAL conditions of psychopaths & sociopaths (which are synonyms according to the experts I’ve heard of), so I think we’re on two totally different pages in completely different books on this whole subject.
I looked it up… and the problem with that “temperament” to “predispose” – is that the temperament they’re talking about, that is the same in SOME addicts and sociopaths, is THRILL seeking – or sensation seeking.
NOT all addicts are thrill seekers – many people become addicts trying to DULL sensations – quite the opposite of a sociopath. So how can that be explained?
I maintain that it is very dangerous to compare alcoholics to sociopaths or think that they’re somehow similar. If you don’t have a conscience, guilt, or deep feelings, why would you need to medicate those feelings with booze?
Or how about the abused woman who’s husband beats her for years, and she takes to the bottle to cope? I suppose she’s a sociopath too?
Makes no sense.
My 2 dogs have been a comfort to me during my recovery. They are both rescue animals and I think we help each other with our love and companionship. Thank you Liane (and everyone) for your post…this site is an inspiration. The only bad thing about it is the knowledge that there are so many sociopaths running loose in the world. It scares me to the core.
To WP
I do not think there is a meaningful difference between sociopaths and psychopaths. It is the psychopathy experts who split Hares here (ha ha)!
Genetic studies show that the general family environment does not at all contribute to the development of sociopathy (as you observed). Instead it is the unique environment of each child. Components of this unique environment include each child’s relationships with his/her parents AND VERY IMPORTANT PEERS. Parents of at risk kids have to watch the peer relationships very carefully from very early on.
There are three aspects to the temperamental risk for ASB and addiction. These three are Novelty Seeking (thrill seeking), Harm Avoidance (anxiety), and reward dependence (relatedness). Substance abuse is associated with BOTH high and low harm avoidance (anxiety). Low harm avoidance makes a person more likely to take risks and as you point out high harm avoidance leads to self medication. The alcoholics who are not also sociopathic have a better prognosis, so most of those in recovery for a long time are (or were) the anxious types.
Sociopaths are high novelty seeking, low harm avoidance and low relatedness.
Every scientific book on sociopathy/psychopathy going back to CLeckley has noted the connection between addicion and sociopathy. There is no expert that I know of who says there is no relationship between the two.
Dr. Leedom,
Hares-good one!
“Sociopaths are high novelty seeking, low harm avoidance and low relatedness.”
So, if my 14 yr old hasn’t showed these traits by now, I don’t have to worry about sociopathy?
He has had trouble with anxiety and seems to have more of my temperament. He has lied to me a couple of times, but I think it classifies as normal teenage stuff. I have no question his dad had conduct disorder as a child and teen. example: waiting for someone to open the door to the paperboy and shooting him between the eyes with a bb gun
I have already talked to him about drinking and how he needs to be careful because alcoholism runs on both sides of his family.
ps
Don’t forget cats! We have a border collie and a kitten from a shelter. Their unconditional love has been comforting many times.
I found a 2 week old pup, barely alive, while hiking in the mountains. The rest of the litter was dead. He’s with me now, 6 years later-deaf and mildly epileptic. He is a rare gift that has educated me re. the UNSPOKEN language of love. I have to be watchful of myself because he reacts to my reactions-especially my inner feelings. When he’s jittery and nervous around me (for no obvious reason) I become aware that inside me, the pressure is building. I know then to slow it down, breathe, clear my mind and move with deliberate, gentle slowness. And begin to visualize internally, peaceful scenarios. When his ear set is relaxed, I take him and my other rescued dog for a walk. We come back refreshed & relaxed and begin again. I pay close attention to his reactions to people upon meeting them. The ones he shows curiosity, (usual dog behavior) then relaxes, are always good people over time. When he shows immediate red alert behavior, I proceed very carefully & its rare when that individual shows goodness over time. When he was 2yrs old, I became a foster home for deaf Australian cattle dogs. They were all extremely fine-tuned to the inner, unspoken language. They helped me in my journey to trust my instincts-not be afraid of my true feelings. I stopped discounting myself, and began loving the real woman inside. No longer fearful to be who I am. I value truth, above all else-no matter how painful it may be. Sociopaths don’t have a clue about truth & it gets easier and easier for me to see the lie-sooner than later. I owe a lot to these powerful “deafies”. I was raised by a crazy-dangerous sociopath mother. Gave birth to a crazy-dangerous sociopath daughter-the two bonded up like glue. I felt like I was trapped in their pin ball machine-me being the pin ball-for many, many years. Trying to please the unpleasable. I questioned everything about my life. I bought their lie, hid from myself, gave in to their craziness. I became involved with sociopaths who treated me the way I came to believe I deserved to be treated. And then one little deaf dog helped to begin change in my course forever. Its hearing what isn’t spoken. Words are meaningless without truth, love & related action. I ended my gullible, desperate need to be needed. I stopped picking up “lost boys” to fix (hoping to fix myself) and picked ME up, instead.