Like us, Claudia Moscovici had her run-in with a psychopath, one that almost destroyed her marriage. Since then, like many of us, she has thoroughly researched this destructive personality disorder. She started a blog called “Psychopathy Awareness,” and wrote two books: a novel called The Seducer, and an upcoming nonfiction book called Dangerous Liaisons.
In her review of my book, Love Fraud—How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan, Claudia writes, “I didn’t think I could learn much more about the subject, but Donna’s book proved me wrong.”
Read the entire review on Psychopathy Awareness.
Love Fraud is available in the Lovefraud Store.
hens
LL My spath always had a job, always worked. He has a good job now. He has more friend’s than I do. Most of his friends are new friends, he attracts friends with his grandiose personality and or his pity ploy’s. He collect’s friends for future option’s. He has more sex partner’s than Carlie Sheen, male and female. If they were handing out popularity ribbon’s he would win and i would lose. People like him are smart, very inteligent. He picked me because I was a dumb ass that could be toyed with and used for whatever. He never had any intentions of keeping me for ever.
kim frederick
Hens, BOINK! You are not a dumb-ass! Never were. You were conned by a spath. Be nice to yourself!
Ox Drover
Lesson,
I am with Katy on this, you are behaving I think in a hysterical manner and you are dis-ing other people’s psychopaths as less toxic than yours, therefore, YOUR PAIN IS WORSE than other people’s. You’d have picked up on some “loser” guy psychopath who you suppose our psychopaths to be, but YOUR psychopath was smooth and slick and had a home and a job and all his teeth…..therefore YOU aren’t responsible for falling for a slick, covert psychopath…..DUH—LL—yours was OBVIOUSLY A CHEAT ON HIS WIFE FOR 10 FREAKING YEARS so I would have spotted him IMMEDIATELY yet YOU didn’t seem to catch on. YOU not catching on doesn’t mean he is covert and hides his P-ness well, it just means YOU DIDN’T CATCH IT….YOU didn’t catch it.
That’s the thing, EACH of them has some sort of “covert” thing that keeps EACH of us from catching THAT person in THAT situation…Bernie Madoff was slick, covert and fooled a lot of people, but a FEW people saw through him—in a way, Bernie was right when he said “they (the victims) were greedy” because it was a THIS IS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE, SO IT PROBABLY ISN’T TRUE situation. It WAS too good to be true in that economy, but they WANTED IT TO BE TRUE so they believed, instead of investigated. YOU WANTED your cheat-on-his-wife dishonest guy to be telling you the TRUTH so YOU BELIEVED that he would cheat on her but not on YOU….for 10 years.
No, LL he is not any more covert than mine were, or Kim’s or anyone else’s it is just that YOU WANTED TO BELIEVE HIM, the way we wanted to believe THEM. A psychopath is a psychopath is a psychopath.
Your pain IS TERRIBLE, but it is NO MORE TERRIBLE THAN OURS was or is. So I suggest that you do a little introspection and calm your arse down from the continual hysterical outbursts that are insulting to others and not helpful to your healing.
While not putting blame on the victim, you seem have a new major crisis of some kind about every day or so, and your therapist has advised you to focus on the NOW rather than be in continual crisis mode. I think this is good advice and I think you should practice doing just that. As Kim said, I’m sorry you are going through this, it does suck, but at the same time, I think you are making your own situation worse by disrespecting the pain of others in comparison to your own. I’m done.
Ox Drover
Henry, DOUBLE BOINK!!!!! I bet his “friends” are as bad as he is, he is TRASH and you are not. BOINK!!! BOINK!!!! “Popular” doesn’t mean sheet! Charlie Sheen had a “good job” too, but that doesn’t make him a good human being or a happy one….he’s special! ROTFLMAO it is just too hard for him to pretend NOT TO BE SPECIAL! LOL ROTFLMAO Same-o with your X, he’s sssssspecial like charlie ssssssheen! LOL
hens
ok ok – how about and ignorant ass? I have to go to work – boink on LL she need’s it…
Ox Drover
Henry, okay ignorant ass, not dumb ass, though, as they are smart and so are you…mine can’t read though, so they ARE ignorant. LOL
Already did the boinking on LL, but I’m done with that now. Have a good day! (((hugs)))
super chic
There was something mentioned last week.
It was a tell.
kim frederick
I also think that focussing on how very stealth my spath is/was, and how he has to be the absolute best con of all is a way of saying I’m a lot smarter and quicker than the rest of ya’ll. That may not be what you meant, but the implication is there.
I don’t think any one of us here is dumb. Gullible, maybe. Niave, maybe. But we were all duped. We were all played.
I think Oxy’s on to something when she says that we all have our blind spots. We aren’t all conned in the same ways, because we are all different…we all have our own soft spots, desires, needs and weaknesses. BloggerT suggested that we are often targeted for our strengths, as well.
I agree with Oxy on this, too: I wouldn’t have touched your POS with a ten foot pole. Too much entitlement and extreme narcissism for me. I would always see those red-flags in a cheating husband who made no attempt to end an unhappy marriage for ten years.
My loser spath managed to fly benieth my radar, by duping me into believing the old, “it’s you and me against the world” ploy. That was MY HOOK because I didn’t want to get old alone, and I was secretly afraid I couldn’t do any better and I thought maybe I didn’t deserve any better, and maybe even because I thought that because he was such a loser HE WOULDN’T LEAVE ME!
We are all different. No one is any better or worse than any one else. We all have our pain, and we all have our desire to be happier and healthier in the future.
silvermoon
LL,
you mentioned medications before. I wonder if your feelings are not excarebated by them? It may be worth a consult to your Dr.
Sometimes we think our feelings are so very real and they are provoked by physical issues. Medication, Thyroid, Blood Sugar- there are so many possibilities.
But I do think that if you keep getting into situations where you can’t engage in a two way dialog because your feelings are so strong that it is going to be very hard to deal with that as well as the reality of your situation.
Everyone here wants to support you because we know its hard to accept the reality of being taken advantage of by a disordered person. You are in company here.
The guy you’re describing sounds pretty awful.
And the decision to go NC is a pretty good one on your part.
Somehow, you have to get to the place where you see yourself from a more objective view so that you can see what is happening with yourself.
You do get pretty wild here. I understand venting. And what I observe is that when you are in that mode, the ONLY voice you can hear is your own.
So why is that? The answer to that question may hold a key to your healing.
I don’t know if you can answer it completely by yourself. I think you may need some help. Whoever is prescribing the meds you’re taking is a first step. If I remember right, you mentioned PROZAC before and that can provoke some reactions.
Don’t just go along with the reactions, talk to your doc. If the meds are making things harder for you, you may need to change or reconsider your treatment.
I used to have a horse who was inclined to rear up over the smallest things. And while I could get used to it, the behavior was dangerous to us both. And it needed to change.
You remind me of this because you get so inconsolable. So many people tried and tried HARD last night. It just seemed to wind you up further. I think everyone was worried you might EXPLODE!
You need to see it clearly and see what needs to be done about it. Because people who care will eventually be put off by all this wild venting during which you thrash every olive branch that is offered to you.
I see you as someone who is having a very hard time. I can empathize with the experience. And I want to see you take some steps toward healing yourself so that the awfulness is not prolonged for you.
We all do.
its time for you to ante up with some understanding of your own behavior and some steps to do what you can do to get yourself under better control.
Because while you are doing this, you risk estranging the people in your life who want to help. People here are pretty wonderful, but we are distant. And if we can see it, those close to you are seeing it more.
For yourself, take an objective look and start asking questions about what you need to change. I am sure that will be good medicine for you.
And we look forward to hearing about your progress.
kim frederick
Yeah Shabby. I got that too. Been seeing a lot of that lately. There are some new posters here that have my spidey senses tingling….and some older ones as well. It’s a sad day when you can’t just trust folks to be who they say they are, and all the while you know you could be wrong. You’d hate to offend anyone. Sheeeesh. The damage done!
I don’t know, but I’m glad you said something. I thought I was the only one.