Like us, Claudia Moscovici had her run-in with a psychopath, one that almost destroyed her marriage. Since then, like many of us, she has thoroughly researched this destructive personality disorder. She started a blog called “Psychopathy Awareness,” and wrote two books: a novel called The Seducer, and an upcoming nonfiction book called Dangerous Liaisons.
In her review of my book, Love Fraud—How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan, Claudia writes, “I didn’t think I could learn much more about the subject, but Donna’s book proved me wrong.”
Read the entire review on Psychopathy Awareness.
Love Fraud is available in the Lovefraud Store.
Kim I did not take anything you said personally, it’s just the way I am. I think questioning my own ‘issue’s’ is better than thinking I dont have any issue’s at all. And believe me I have bit my finger’s to a nub sometime’s to keep from pointing finger’s or saying something that would start a riot here. I think most of us know a toxic duck when we see one. It take’s all kind’s to make the world go round. At this point I am here mostly for company, is that an issue i need to address?
Guys, can’t remember her name but remember that person who came here and was okay some of the time and really out of it sometimes and we called her out on it and she was posting drunk was what her “problem” was—she eventually went away, but it got dicey there for a while.
NONE of us want to “offend” and NONE of us want to “start a fight” either…and we KNOW what the RULES are here—and we also know what the tradition is for people who are DISRUPTIVE…potted plant (I started that one) and Gray Rock (I think Sky started that one) and if someone is off key hit the “report abusive comment” button. There is also the option to DO or SAY NOTHING. Just ignore the irritating behavior if it isn’t too bad.
There have been a few pseudo-victims or faux-victims or Ps in disguise come here—remember the guy that wanted us to help him write a letter to better control his GF that dumped him? LOL ROTFLMAO He was almost FUNNY he so DID NOT GET IT. Then there are the guys from sociopathsworld dot com or whatever the heck that place is (no, I don’t want to know the correct URL so don’t give it to me!) and they start telling us how misunderstood they are—Mr. Green was one of those and there have been a few others of them—NOT RESPONDING TO THEM AT ALL is the best way and that is also what Donna requested that we do.
If someone is in my opinion doing something counter productive to their own healing or other’s and not responding well to people reaching out to them, I may say something to them about it (depending on how well I think I “know” this person) and I may simply ignore them altogether—or I may even actually tell them I am done with them. The point is to get them to sit down and see what they are doing is counter productive to healing and peace on the board…if they respond well to that, great. If not, then I shut up. I try to welcome all new posters, and have done that since I came here since on other blogs where I would post, people would “post around me” and no one ever acknowledged my post at all…like I was invisible. It made me feel invisible and invalid because I was at such a LOW POINT in my life. I don’t want any poster to come here and get that feeling, because if they get the courage up to post, they NEED A RESPONSE. That caught on here at LF and after a while of being the 1-blogger-welcome wagon it is pretty much a tradition here now and most new bloggers get 2-3-4 welcomes which I think is so important. I have been told by others, Henry is one, who told me how important that welcome was for them the first time they posted.
Sometimes people will post and say “I feel ignored” and I know for a fact That I don’t “ignore” anyone without a very good reason, but it isn’t a chat room so sometimes it takes a while before someone gets back to you on a question. Also sometimes in reading through new posts I will miss one entirely—and then later see it, or cross-posts happen, someone posts something while I am posting and I don’t see it. Sometimes people just “feel” ignored when they aren’t being—it is just our own perspective or point from which we are viewing things.
We’ve ALL got our “issues” and our “triggers” and our “paranoias” so considering all of that and the fact that this is an open blog, I can say from my viewpoint, this is the BEST RUN and the most peaceful blog I have ever seen for any special interest group, and especially a “special interest” group for victims who are traumatized and emotionally bleeding. Thank you Donna!
Hi Everyone,
I’ve been reading these this morning and i can’t help but feel that this is directed about me.
It’s deserved for sure.
But I’m willing to acknowledge my behavior has been up and down and I’ve been triggered left and right.
Today is therapy day. I’m looking forward to it and will be addressing these very issues, that without the direct responses here, have brought it to the forefront for me.
I apologize for triggering anyone. I don’t want to create problems and it’s pretty clear to me that I have many that need addressing.
LL
I think i could be a bit psychopathic too because i just don’t like psychopaths but neither narcissists or even normal jerks.
We need a name for this pathology. Psychofusspot, fussypsycho, fussypain in the psyche, fussypath, psychopain in theass?
Dear Donna, Oxy, Shabby, Kim and One/Step, I think one can never be too vigilant since psychopaths live for playing games and ruses, pretending to be who they’re not to deceive and hurt others. The psychopath I left over three years ago still sends me spam messages on my email and on my blogs. Yesterday he sent me a comment to the blog psychopathy awareness under the name Jennie. This so-called “Jennie” knew details about my life that I had not shared with others. She also wrote me that she wanted us to communicate by email since we probably had a bad experience with the same psychopath (something that sounded to me very fishy and implausible). I erased the comment and didn’t post it on my blog because everything about it struck me as odd. What strikes me as odd on this thread is not just the “grey rock” comment from “Sympathy for Sociopaths,” but also a menacing note, posted yesterday on this thread, by someone named “Ana”. It sounds nice and supportive in tone, but it includes a youtube link to a vengeful and misogynist song by Eminem. Personally, I don’t see how the hateful song referenced by Ana on this thread in response to LL could possibly “make her feel better.” It sounds to me more like an implicit threat or message of violence. I’m pasting below the “Ana” note (from yesterday) with the link to the Eminem song that I found disturbing:
“Ana says:
Hi LL,
I’m sorry he contacted you & made you upset.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KV2ssT8lzj8
I hope this helps.”
(Report abusive comment)
Monday, 28 February 2011 @....... 9:14pm”
I didn’t watch it.
Dear Claudia,
I hadn’t caught taht becdause I did not listen to the U-tube link…I have limited internet to 5-gigs so I don’t do u-tube or other videos except under rare conditions….and so I didn’t listen to the song, just ASSUMED it was a nice one, a comforting one.
You listening to it may have picked up something that wasn’t apparent to me.
We DO have trolls come here from time to time and they are usually outed one way or another. I hadn’t picked up on any trolls lately though. This blog being what it is, I think we all try to give posters the “benefit of the doubt” and not to assume someone is a troll just because they are appearing sort of screwed up in one way or another—believe me most of us have posted INSANE CARP HERE AT ONE TIME OR ANOTHER! LOL We’ve almost all had our own PITY PARTIES here as well. Many of us have vented rather harshly here too.
The thing is that psychopaths do do things like come here and troll or try to stir up problems on purpose just to see the fireworks, and they also do it just because they want sympathy and attention because the last victim escaped and the next victim isn’t yet caught. I think a great many of the “trouble makers” here are more toward the lines of Borderline Personality Disordered/faux victim than psychopaths, but there is a continuum of dysfunction in some of the ones who pass through here, for sure.
Claudia, I understand your paranoia for sure and it sounds like you may be on to something. It is not too unexpected that they continue to stalk you on the net or even in real life…that’s what they do, and they feel entitled to do so because you “injured” them by not continuing to be their victim. JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE PARANOID DOESN’T MEAN SOMEONE ISN’T OUT TO GET YOU. ((((HUGS)))) and God bless!
ClaudiaMoscovici
wow. I am feeling blessed right now. Maybe I have some healing after all. I saw that post to LL and clicked the link. When I saw it was Eminen I blew it off thinking “no way could any song of that woman hater make me feel better”.
Am having hard time lately trying to complete divorce from my spath husband. He has been so kind to me, offering to help me fill out forms. All I have to do is tell him what numbers I am missing and he will tell me what number goes in the blanks. Gentle, sweet, caring help. Charlie Sheen may be a god, but my husband is such an angel…
Oxy, thank you for understanding, especially given the situation where the psychopath still frequently sends me ominous messages, interspersed with some nice ones to lure me, in the various forums I participate in, like my blogs, and by email. I am not the type of person to remain quiet and allow this kind of harassment. If my warning signals are ringing, I will let all of you know how and why.
Claudia,
I missed that post. I’m choosing not to look at the video.
You bring up something very important for me with regards to the paranoia I’m experiencing. The other day, before he made contact, I was already very paranoid having received two phone calls early Sunday morning. Hypervigilance, irritability and a hyper sense of awareness that he’s “lurking”. It’s like I know the bomb is going to drop, but I never know WHEN. I feel very damaged, very slimed. I almost feel “invaded”. Poisoned. I hope I”m able to describe the feeling, but it’s horrendous. Every area of my life have been poisoned by this man. Before, when he would contact, I would feel “excited”. Now I just feel nothing but fear. Part of that is because I truly don’t know what he’s capable of. It is troubling and EXTREMELY fear provoking to have this feeling that I’m being “watched” and that it’s FOR FUN, for him. This is anything but FUN for me. I feel taunted. On top of feeling extremely paranoid, I also feel EXTREMELY angry about it. Enough damage has been done. I can’t “prove” that he’d doing anything, other than these subtleties, but I KNOW it. I see how dangerous he is, has been and now I’m quite frankly scared to death. While I know everyone here has dealt with someone like this, I often feel I can’t verbalize how much absolute fear and paranoia I feel, that even the smallest of things in my life, that would otherwise amount to a small crisis are enveloped in “He’s behind it”, even when he is not.
I DO want to get past this. I DON”T want to cause pain or trigger anyone. I believe I can work through this. I’m not going to give up working on it. I’m not going to give up on therapy and I won’t give up HOPE, even if I feel somewhat hopeless right now.
LL