Like us, Claudia Moscovici had her run-in with a psychopath, one that almost destroyed her marriage. Since then, like many of us, she has thoroughly researched this destructive personality disorder. She started a blog called “Psychopathy Awareness,” and wrote two books: a novel called The Seducer, and an upcoming nonfiction book called Dangerous Liaisons.
In her review of my book, Love Fraud—How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan, Claudia writes, “I didn’t think I could learn much more about the subject, but Donna’s book proved me wrong.”
Read the entire review on Psychopathy Awareness.
Love Fraud is available in the Lovefraud Store.
KatyDid
Claudia
YOU are NOT “IF” wrong about Hens. YOU ARE WRONG. 1000% times wrong. If you can’t come up with a better apology than that, then you have NO EMPATHY.
Eva
Come on, hens is just a bit pain in the ass like me. Claudia just must has misunderstood any of his posts.
ClaudiaMoscovici
Katy, I just apologized to you about being wrong about Hens. I didn’t intend to hurt anyone at all, just to protect this group from the kind of harassing messages I get on a daily basis from the psychopath.
lesson learned
Wit,
I see that too. Other than my therapy, and this blog, there isn’t ANYONE outside who really GETS this experience. That is NOT to say they aren’t supportive or haven’t heard about what a psychopath is, but to experience is it something different altogether. Maybe I’m not understanding their support either.
I think I just feel so ALONE in this process. Logically, I KNOW I have support, but emotionally, I feel completely isolated, in fear and angry.
I think you’re right. I could not embrace that support at the time. Have you ever been so angry that you just see red and react, THEN give thought to how or why you reacted? That’s EXACTLY what’s going on when I’m triggered. I need to explore this more with my therapist, but after Claudia’s post this morning, this makes total sense to me. I live in an absolute state of paranoia and fear of my ex. He is also in a position where he works that he can access any information on my whereabouts, including phone numbers. he is not SUPPOSE to, but that doesn’t mean he WON”T. It REALLY REALLY bothers me and that’s an understatement.
If I could move a few hundred miles away, I would. I know that I can’t for the sake of my sons who really want to finish high school here, but I WOULD go if I could. I don’t like that he has “access” to me.
Through all the posts here, I’m continuously surprised at what a spath will do to create fear for a FORMER victim, such as in Claudia’s case, or others here who have been contacted by their ex’s. I think what fuels my paranoia is how STEALTH he is in what he does. He knows that only I WILL KNOW, what’s he trying to do to me, without being detected. it is INCREDIBLY frustrating and disorienting to me and there isn’t anything I can do about what he can and cannot do. He also knows I will do NOTHING about it and that if I tried, who do you think is going to look crazy? Well I’ve had enough of that now.
I only have two hours and ten minutes till I see my therapist (Yes I’m counting the time) and I can’t WAIT to get there.
I don’t LIKE how I”m feeling, I don’t LIKE what I”ve done in reacting, I don’t LIKE this feeling of paranoia. I HATE feeling that i”m being watched in some way.
I have a feeling he will continue to attempt to bait me on occasion, hoping I’ll run back for MORE of a beating because I’ve not gone great lengths of time NC. Well this time IT”S DIFFERENT. It’s also changing my perspective about myself and what needs to be done. I don’t give a rats ASS what he does, I just want to be left alone and NOT live in such a paranoid angry state.
I’m really glad Ox and Katy called me on this.
I don’t like what I see. In some ways, that’s very disheartening to me, but I do need to deal with it.
Humble territory……for sure. But I’d rather eat lots of humble pie than continue this way.
There’s so much work that needs to be done now.
I have SUCH a long way to go. I’ve been kicking, screaming and fighting it the whole way.
Thanks for your post wits.
LL
lesson learned
Katy,
I don’t think Claudia is without empathy, nor do I think that her points are invalid (although I do agree that I don’t think Hens is a spath), but it DOES help me to understand how misunderstandings from others posts can create fear and/or anger.
I’ve learned that when I’m triggered, i don’t think. I react.
I think you’re overreacting to Claudia’s post in protection of Hens. She has apologized. I believe it to be sincere.
I hope you can see it that way too.
HUGS.
LL
KatyDid
Claudia, I am sorry you receive terrible communications from your spath. But that does not excuse your behavior towards others. Every time you use “IF”, you are using a wiggle word.
I don’t know why you print ALL the words to a song that no one here wants to know or hear. Nor do I understand direct attacks on other posters.
But I do know the meaning of “IF” and that it avoids taking responsibility for behavior.
kim frederick
I agree with LL, Katy. It was an honest mistake and she apologized.
ClaudiaMoscovici
Thank you for understanding, and I hope that Hens and Katy will forgive my post about Hens. But this opened for everyone a real issue which I have been unable to address, even though my husband is a lawyer: the psychopath I was with still sends me harassing emails every day, of the nature I described, plus mysogynist songs and threats. They are always from new email addresses, which he opens constantly. They are a similar means of stalking to LL’s phone calls from her sociopath, from unknown, blocked or private callers. Does anyone here know of any legal recourse for this kind of covert yet constant harassment? As you can probably understand, being harassed in this manner so long after the relationship is over can increase the trauma and even cause a sense of paranoia. But Oxy was right: just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean (some) are not out to get you. It certainly wasn’t you, Hens!
Ox Drover
Claudia,
RE: HENS
First off “Hens” is a GAY MALE,, not a “she” and he has posted here for nearly 3 years mostly as “Henry”—-and believe me there is NO DOUBT that he is legitimate.
He does have a snarky sense of humor sometimes and so do I and he posts little snippets of things that might sound strange if you didn’t know him….and if you have been reading here regularly since 2007 (thank you for the nice comment to me about my posts and support) I am not sure why you wouldn’t recognize Hens/Henry and his snippets of posts as being an “old time” poster here.
So anyway, my message is let’s bury the hatchet folks! If you think someone is a troll, report it to DONNA, and/or just IGNORE THEM in the meantime.
Ox Drover
Dear LL,
Glad you are seeing your therapist today!!! (((hugs))) and good luck.