Like us, Claudia Moscovici had her run-in with a psychopath, one that almost destroyed her marriage. Since then, like many of us, she has thoroughly researched this destructive personality disorder. She started a blog called “Psychopathy Awareness,” and wrote two books: a novel called The Seducer, and an upcoming nonfiction book called Dangerous Liaisons.
In her review of my book, Love Fraud—How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan, Claudia writes, “I didn’t think I could learn much more about the subject, but Donna’s book proved me wrong.”
Read the entire review on Psychopathy Awareness.
Love Fraud is available in the Lovefraud Store.
lesson learned
ox.
ROFLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have a good guy friend that I WISH was straight!! He is HOT HOT HOT! And SUCH a good, kind person!!! And he has a dog he loves too. A scottie!
Damn. LOL!
LL
KatyDid
Okay, OX. But I am his woman on the side….!!!
lesson learned
Katy,
LOL!! I think I need to learn about that….. 🙂
ErinBrock
Claudia;
I am perplexed as to why your not asking your husband the simple legal questions you present here?
He’s the attorney, he has the resources.
I also want to suggest you think about ‘taking’ a break and recouping from exposing the spath in your life.
We owe the responsibility to ourselves first to keep ourselves safe. Emotionally AND physically.
It sounds as if you don’t feel safe currently.
There are always consequences to exposing a spath.
If you are experienceing the consequences of these actions….and are uncomfortable with them…..
there ARE things you can do to aleviate them.
If you can’t help yourself, you can’t help others.
There is NO sense in throwing yourself and your stability and safety under the bus to offer charity to others right?
So……If you take yourself off the web……can he harass you?
This topic will NEVER go away. You can take a break and pick up when your feeling in a safer postion.
Stealth is NOT what your doing. Your in his face.
You are also experiencing the consequences of these actions.
If you suspect he is ‘watching’ you…….disappear.
What I don’t understand is when we feel this way…..watched……WHY IN THE HELL ARE WE POSTING personal feelings and emotions on the public web?????
We are feeding them a recipe to our vulnerabilities…..complete with measurements.
STOP, STOP, STOP!!!!!!
We get what we get when we don’t take care of ourselves FIRST!
We can’t claim victim if we are poking a stick at the snake.
Choose to be a survivor…..take care of yourself first, stop baiting your spath and being shocked that he doesn’t ‘go away’……..set up precautions for safety and immunity from him and allow yourself to move on.
Your missing some vital key points in regards to your triggers here.
Hens is NOT a woman.
Hens is our sensative, caring, lonely, humorous, hard working, empathetic, struggling survivor who often expresses self doubt.
Hens offers a dynamic here that many survivors need.
His insight is like no other here.
He is a man of ‘few’ words, yet extremely impactive with his wisdom.
Your accusations, i’m am sure……may have a huge negative impact on him.
I suggest you understand yourself, your triggers and your boundaries before you comment on others so harshly. This type of behavior could be very damaging to others in the process of healing.
Our beloved hens is a valued and cherished member of LF, as are so many others. He has so very much to offer and gives of himself freely.
I go back to a solution…….make yourself invisible on the web, take a break…..change all passwords, names, email addresses……….and explore how the consequences of being so visible is affecting your day to day and healing.
THIS you can do to become a healthy survivor in order to help others get to that point also.
ClaudiaMoscovici
Erin, I understand what you are saying but believe that psychopaths are even more harassing to those who allow them to do it and don’t take any action. I’m just doing what I think is the best course of action for helping myself and others. If you read Donna’s book, Love Fraud, she pursued relentlessly, via legal means, the psychopath who duped and defrauded her and others rather than disappearing. And through her determination, she began this forum that informs and helps so many other women. There’s nobody more visible and outspoken in exposing the specific psychopath who defrauded her and psychopathy in general than her and lovefraud.com. Like her, I will not disappear. I understand there are different legitimate and constructive ways of handling this problem of being stalked by a psychopath and that anonymity/disappearing is one viable option. But I think being active and informing others about this personality disorder is the best route for me.
KatyDid
Thank you EB. You write wise words of reason.
I am so worried that Hens might withdraw. He is so special and sensitive and he doesn’t need us, but He is so dear to me.
When someone excuses their harmful behavior b/c it’s a FAVOR to me (us Lovefraud members), I recognize that rationale is convoluted. If in this case, Claudia takes responsiblity for her behaviors and ceases such “favors”, then I will engage. I’m a big girl, and Claudia should know that when an spath infiltrates, it takes very little time to recognize and reject. It’s not appropriate for Claudia to police LoveFraud, that’s Donna’s realm and Donna has empowered us with a report link to notify her when necessary.
KatyDid
Yes Claudia,
I do believe there are some legal protections from cyber stalking. That’s a great avenue for you to pursue and empower yourself.
ClaudiaMoscovici
KatyDid, I’ll definitely look into them.
ErinBrock
Claudia;
Oh…..I SO GET IT! If you knew anything about me, you’d understand this completely.
I am a warrior of the backspath! I will be the FIRST to kick a spaths ass!!!! And I HAVE, on several occasions!
I’ve been vindicated in the courts, I’ve protected myself and my kids, I’ve protected assets from a 28 year relationshit with a spath. I fought, we are alive, we’ve been stalked for 4 years, harassed through various means, I’ve exposed and I continue to raise awareness…..in public and in the court system. I can’t be silenced. I WON’T be silenced.
I have read Donna’s book…..and, like you……written a review of it.
Donna is an inspiration on the Sociopathic warrior front……she has been smart in her dealings, knows her sociopath and perseveered.
With education and tenacity, self discipline and patience, I wholeheartedly believe we can be successful in our ventures of exposure and recourse.
It takes a certain breed.
Knowing what your dealing with is key.
Knowing “who” your dealing with is also key.
Okay…..that said…….
Hows’ it worken for ya?
Doesn’t appear to be so well currently. (your fear, your reactions, your questions).
It seems time to renegotiate your approach….and retreat for a period while you do this. Doesn’t mean your giving up……just means you need more time to get yourself to a point where you make wise decisions for yourself.
Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.
Also……loose lips sink ships.
If he’s watching your internet blogging……your sinking your own ship darling. You reveal WAY too much.
My analogy is;
Envision yourself as a snake under a rock……nice and warm in the sunshine……..on the hiking trail of a spaths life. Out of sight, out of mind.
He may walk right past you every day……..you wait. If you strike the first time……he will know it’s you……WAIT.
As you wait, your venom becomes more potent.
You learn self discipline and patience. The waiting is hard, the pay off is large.
Let him pass for weeks at a time, allow him to feel comfortable and safe on his hikes……….
THEN, you strike, fast and hard……and retreat.
BOOM………he never knows it’s you.
You’ve taken him down with one quick strike……to the ankle no less……
He never saw it coming………….
Potent!
If your not at the point where your making healthy decisions for yourself…..you ain’t gonna help anyone else, and only cause further harm to yourself.
Sometimes we can take down a whole building by weakening one corner stone in the dark of night. We don’t always have to take the time to wire and produce an huge explosion with many participants.
Renegotiate……take that time.
You’ll be more effective in the long run.
ClaudiaMoscovici
Erin, you have a very good point. But I really think the path Donna took, to be open and outspoken about the psychopath who damaged her life and psychopathy in general, is the one for me. It’s not an easy process, and there’s definitely an emotional cost in choosing this route. But after being involved with a psychopath no path is easy because they often continue to harass people whether or not they fight back. It’s their way of inflicting vengeance when they’re rejected and of playing games to entertain themselves.