Like us, Claudia Moscovici had her run-in with a psychopath, one that almost destroyed her marriage. Since then, like many of us, she has thoroughly researched this destructive personality disorder. She started a blog called “Psychopathy Awareness,” and wrote two books: a novel called The Seducer, and an upcoming nonfiction book called Dangerous Liaisons.
In her review of my book, Love Fraud—How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan, Claudia writes, “I didn’t think I could learn much more about the subject, but Donna’s book proved me wrong.”
Read the entire review on Psychopathy Awareness.
Love Fraud is available in the Lovefraud Store.
sky –
wine and cheese aka self medication at night. if i am going to eat to self medicate, i tend to do it at night also. somehow it’s a lonelier time for me as i feel the unrealized potential of the day is spent, and i am anxious about the next day. well, i do have an anxiety disorder and my has sucked majorly for quite a while, so i understand it. I used to make sure i did something at night in terms of self care so i wouldn’t seek self medication. now, all of this is a crap shoot since the spath/ toxins, as it has been a game changer. i used to talk to the spath late at night – that was helpful. snart.
there is a 12 step saying, ‘ failing to plan is planning to fail’, and i think it is a good slogan when you are trying to put supports in place to change a habit. you need to put together a plan when you feel at your best – and then make a commitment to yourself, and perhaps others, to follow it. make it modest enough that you will be successful. then when that one becomes easy/ routine. then make a new plan. if you do this successfully your inner child may communicate more clearly with you, as she will begin to trust you. You show yourself that you are loyal, trustworthy, and there to protect yourself – that wine and cheese, that’s abandonment wrapped up in adult clothes.
there is anger. there is pent up anger, and then there is acting out in anger/ being mean. we want to try to avoid #3, but some of #3 will happen as we learn to release #2, and start to just sit in equanimity with #1. you will need some structure and help with releasing and moving through #2, while avoiding #3 as much as possible.
i am a very physical person – i let off pent up energy and frustration through my body. due to illness and injry it is rarely possible. leaves me really frustrated. the other that works for me is vajrayana meditation, but i have to be able to ‘sit’ to do it, and that isn’t so easy anymore – mind you IT’S NOT SO HARD EITHER. I am lazy – i haven’t sorted out my ambivalence with my teacher, and it takes me from my practice. my problem. physical is so much easier, but not always within my grasp.
so, how do you best process emotion?
Okay, I need assistance here or a boink over the head.
SHIT!!!!!!!!
HE FUCKING contacted me. DAMMIT! But it’s not a big deal.
I don’t know??? HOW FUCKING SNEAKY ARE THEY? I MEAN FOR REAL HERE?
I got some weird phone call at 2 am on Sunday Morning. Cell number, I did NOT answer it. Same thing Sunday morning, just after six, RESTRICTED ID voicemail this time, but nothing but a phone hanging up. Ok, now BEFORE, I would call him and ask if it was HE calling me and of course, this ALWAYS opened a line of “communication”. I DIDN”T DO IT!! I STAYED NC!! YAY ME!>
Move on to today. I get an email on my hotmail. I NEVER use it and in fact created the account specifically so spath and I could IM on Windows Messenger. We were already CONTACTS on one another’s IM’s!!! I deleted him. But it didn’t matter to me because I use yahoo and NOT windows. I KNOW I was still on his IM because when my computer logs on, it automatically signs in and then I just exit it. No biggie. I’m so use to that, it’s second nature now. I’ve advised my children to do the same.
Anywho, so I log on and I get a hotmail message alert. HUH? Okay so the only folks that have my hotmail were ex spath and MATCH.com, where I had set up a profile (as well as on chemistry) to catch the bastard in the act of cheating, with great success.
I’ve been trying (without success) to get RID Of both profiles. I keep getting the damned emails from those even though I have RESIGNED my account and profiles. Does anyone know how I can effing delete these nuisances?
So anyway, the email is NOT from Match it is FROM HIM.
THe content is this:
????????????????????
It is an INVITE for him to be a CONTACT FROM ME ONTO HIS IM. This confused me and greatly upset me because I had NOT sent him an invite. Why would I when 1. I was already on his messenger and 2. this “invite” was SENT IN SEPTEMBER!!!! THAT’S WHEN I REALIZED…..um………….BAIT? THere is NO Effing way he did not SEE this before???
Help me here. I have NOT responded to that and I won’t, but I’m PISSED. He’s got a gf. He’s on his dating site (no I have NOT checked, but I ASSUME IT TO BE SO)
I’m DYING here. I’m working SO HARD to keep my NC. It’s month three now, well okay, a couple of more days….
I’m so overwhelmed………but when I saw that I wondered WHY? There is NO WAY he could not have seen the Date as to when that was SENT for the invite, in SEPTEMBER? ON THE EMAIL HE USES ALL THE FUCKING TIME? HE JUST GOT THIS?
Help me. Help me here. Ox, THE SKILLET NOW!!!
LL
PS, after THREE MONTHS (key time EVERY TIME) if I don’t contact him) he wonders WHY, this is when I get the fucking weird phone calls. This was just an IN I didn’t expect and could not have.
PLEASE HELP ME HERE!!!
Dear LL,
BREATHE, BREATHE!!!!
Get one of your kids to figure out how to delete the accounts, or block him. Then, just BREATHE! BREATHE!!! You did not contact him, you did not answer him! You did good! You are NOT GOING to answer him. You will be okay! BREATHE BREATHE!!!!!
Ox.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHY? WHY WHY WHY??? He has a GF, He has a DATING site, WTF????
DAMMMIT!!! I’m working SO HARD HERE!
I”M PISSED! I”m not EXCITED, I”M ANGRY!!! HOW DARE HE TRY TO INTERFERE WITH MY HEALING PROCESS!!!
I”M SO PISSED!! WHY? WHY WHY WHY???
Ox, I took my daughter outside…………told her what was going on……..
MA!! BREATHE HERE! YOU KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON!! THIS DOESN”T SURPRISE ME AT ALL!!!”
But WHY, I cried, WHY WHY WHY???? HE HAS A GF!! WHY WHY WHY??????????
MA! BREATHE! HE DIDN’T CARE WHEN HE HAD A WIFE FOR GOD’S SAKE, WHY IS HE GONNA CARE WHEN HE HAS A GF??? THOSE PHONE CALLS WERE HIM! THE EMAIL IS HIM, HE KNOWS IT WAS THREE MONTHS AGO FOR THE INVITE AND THAT YOU’RE STILL ON HIS IM CONTACT FOR WINDOWS, YOU CAN DELETE HIM, BUT HE HAS NOT DELETED YOU, THREE MONTHS AGO?? COME ON MA!!! HE WANTS YOU TO CONTACT, IT’S THREE MONTHS NOW, REMEMBER?
I’M SO UPSET. I’M SO UPSET!!!
**BREATHING**
I’m absolutely AMAZED at how this can trigger me…………
MY GUT WAS TELLING ME CONTACT WAS COMING, EVEN TODAY…after those phone calls.
DAMMIT!! I WANT TO BE OVER THIS NOW!!!
I’m not contacting but SO tempted too!! HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LL
BOINK ~:) on your head bloomin Rose. He is bored and needs a drama fix. You going to give it to him or deflate his ego with NC?
Hi LL,
I’m sorry he contacted you & made you upset.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KV2ssT8lzj8
I hope this helps.
I had a GUT FEELING about the phone calls. Was I right? IS THIS RIGHT?
PLEASE HELP ME!! I WANT SO MUCH TO HAVE ENCOURAGEMENT TO STAY NC!! PLEASE HELP!