By Joyce Alexander, RNP (Retired)
I recently bought a book, Violence Risk and Threat Assessment: A Practical Guide for Mental Health and Criminal Justice Professionals, by J. Reid Meloy, Ph.D. I actually bought it to give some “credence” to the statistics I put into my letter to the parole board protesting the release on parole of the Trojan Horse-Psychopath that attacked our family,
Of course this book is directed, as the title says, to professionals, and to assess risk of violence. But since we are dealing with psychopaths, it is, I think, a good idea for us to be able also to look at the assessment for possible violence in our own psychopaths when we thwart their desires, or kick them to the curb. We need to answer the questions, “Is my psychopath likely to respond with violence? If so, how?”
Most violent individuals are not violent all the time. In the introduction, the author illustrates that “just because an abnormality (in behavior) ”¦ only shows on occasion, does not mean it has gone away.” (My emphasis.)
A “false negative” is when you decide that your individual will not be violent, and you are wrong. You may pay for this decision with your life. A “false positive” is when you think your individual will be prone to violence, and they are not. Being prepared for violence, even if your individual psychopath does not turn out to be physically violent is, of course, the safest way to play it. If you are going to err, erring on the side of caution is the best course. False positives are less damaging to us than false negatives.
There are also different kinds of “violence.” Not all violence that does damage to us is physical. Psychopaths can become financially violent and deprive us of our income, our estate, and a hundred other violations that we can all imagine.
Contributors to violence
Dr. Meloy uses what he calls a bio-psycho-social model for Violence Risk Assessment to assess an individual’s risk for violence. This consists of the biological aspects, the psychological aspects and the social aspects of the individual in question.
The first, the psychological domain, contains such things as gender, age, past history of violence, frequency of violence, how recent have they been violent, and severity of past violence, paranoia, intelligence, anger, fear problems, and the frequency and intensity of them, as well as control of impulses. Of course, the psychopathy and other attachment problems will weigh in heavily on this.
The second, the social or environmental domain, looks at the family of origin violence, economic instability and poverty, WEAPONS HISTORY, weapon skill, interest and approach behavior, as well as alcohol and or psycho-stimulant use.
The third domain is the biological one. Is there a history of head trauma, or major mental disorder (like untreated bi-polar disorder).
Dr. Meloy also emphasizes that the MOST IMPORTANT factor in his judgment is the history of past violence. The best predictor of future violence is a history of past violence.
Questions to ask yourself in doing your own “risk assessment for violence” in your psychopath are: How “provoked” is your psychopath by losing you? Do they have the paranoid personality disorder, in which they feel “that everyone is out to get them,” with a long memory for imagined slights or wounds from those people “out to get them”? Are they chronically angry, fearful and jealous? Some forms of illegal drugs will also contribute to paranoia, and as the use of drugs and the interest and reliance on weapons goes up, so does the risk of violence. Dr. Maloy mentions the killing of Nichole Brown Simpson, where she was not only killed, but after death her body almost beheaded. He says that drugs, along with the rage, could have easily lowered the threshold for the abandonment rage which probably motivated the killer.
Fear and stalking
Dr. Meloy also goes into the lack of difference between biochemical reactions to both fear and anger. Both cause the same reaction within the body. How intense is the anger response in the person you are evaluating? How does the person handle anger?
Dr. Meloy differentiates between two different kinds of violence by illustrating his text with a story about a cat.
We have all seen a cat, cornered by a dog, with its hackles raised, its tail up, hissing and spitting. That cat is emotionally reacting in a violent way to the fear inside it that it is going to be attacked by the dog. (This is called “affective” or emotional violence in reaction to a perceived threat.) Once the perceived threat is gone, the cat will quickly return to a state of calm. The purpose of this kind of violence is “threat reduction.”
The second type of violence illustrated with another story of a cat is the predatory violence, which is planned and purposeful and goal directed.
The planned and purposeful (or predatory) violence has a minimal or absent autonomic arousal, (which is the hair standing on end, the hissing and spitting etc.). As you observe the cat in predatory violence—such as stalking a mouse or bird—the cat is calm, cool and collected. It is focused on a goal as it stalks the prey. It tries to keep its purpose (violence) hidden and it tries to keep the prey from realizing that it is prey.
The brain chemicals released in each of these states of violence are completely different. The emotionally generated fear induced violence is a defense mechanism. It can still be a threat to anyone who is the perceived enemy, but it quickly subsides once the threat is gone.
With predatory violence, the predator is goal directed to do violence to the prey. They may plot and plan and take quite some time to stalk and corner the prey. The predator may strike without warning. Unlike emotionally (fear) induced violence, predatory violence is not time limited and the stalking may go on for days, weeks, months or years.
Knowing which type of violence your psychopathic adversary is involved with at any given moment can help you assess what your course of action should be. If the Psychopath is showing the “cornered cat” response, for example for being confronted in a lie, your best response is to just “back off” and let them calm down when the perceived threat is removed. If the psychopath is stalking you; emotionally, financially, or physically, they will not be so obvious to spot as the enraged cat. Once you have determined that the person you are dealing with is a psychopath, or likely one, you must assume that the person will engage in predatory violence on some level. The fact that this stalking and predatory violence may be very subtle does not make it any less dangerous.
In the short term, cornering one in a threatening manner (confrontation of any kind) can produce an emotionally violent response or even physical attack, but in the long term, the predatory violence can do more damage to us, body and soul. We need, I think, to assess the state our psychopath is operating in, and learn when to back off with confrontations, and when to prepare ourselves for “out of the blue” attacks when they are in a predatory state.
Henry, if M won the lotto and bought a mansion, it would still be a “crash pad” and he would still be “trailer trash”—your house would be a HOME if you lived in a card board box on a street corner. When I lived in the RV trailer last year it was my HOME even though it was only 33 ft long and 11 ft wide at the slide out. I’ve thought about that and I think that is why it took me another six months to move back into the house after I got back to the farm.
Logically, it doesn’t make sense to live in a 33 ft trailer parked next to a 4 bedroom house when you have a choice, but I felt safe iin my trailer HOME. Now I feel safe in the house (my HOME) again but I won’t sell the trailer as long as my son lives….it is parked there in case I need it, ready to GO if I need to.
I did began to wonder though if I would EVER feel safe in the house again. I read somewhere that it is called “sanctuary trauma” and that our sanctuary is traumatized and we feel we have no safety in our sanctuary. I’m not sure my son will ever be able to move back into his house again. He will be starting therapy for the PTSD with the same therapist I used and I hope it can make him feel safe again. His hypervigilence is decreasing since he has been home, and he’s working very hard on it and his healing.
He doesn’t exhibit that “long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs” anxiety and hyperness that he did. LOL
Goo’nite you guys! Love and have a good nite! Oxy
‘sanctuary trauma’ yes, just one more trauma I have overcame.
Have passed him today….as if he never seen me before….
Dear Muldoon,
Another one of his “ploys” to suck you in and make you want to interact with him….pretend he doesn’t know you. Don’t fall for it. Just Pretend you dont’ know him either and keep on moving. LOL They are so predictable, and also changable too, they will try one thing one minute and then something else the next, so stay on your guard, sweetie! Don’t let him catch you off guard or alone and hurt you.
Keep on reading here and learning about psychopaths, though each varies a bit from the others and osme are more dangerous physicalloy than others, they all play by the same “Playbook” and few if any are original.
I am keeping oyu in my prayers and thoughts, Muldoon, you are doing so well, and I am so glad for you that you and your kiddies are getting away from this man. I know it will be a hard difficult road to be a single parent to children who have been exposed to the likes of him from birth, but you can do it!!! I know you can!!! (((hugs))))
Muldoon,
I love the advice Elizabeth gave you about boring him to death. PERFECT.
It can be so painful when they spin bizarre stories about us. Anyone that believes their stories is being played like a puppet. Bad Man once sent me an email that said, “MY FRIENDS want to know how many restraining orders your exboyfriends have on YOU!” If they said that, I can only imagine what he said to them to get them to say that. The truth is, he didn’t have any real friends.. just co-workers that were trapped on the boat with him for a few hours.
There were a few people that thought he was okay but he couldn’t hide that he was a nut job for too long. The last woman he claimed was his friend eventually told him, “You need help. Don’t contact me again.”
Anyway.. there are some articles here but I can’t remember which ones. Ask Donna. She might know better which ones would help a judge to understand. I would refrain from telling long stories in court. I would just say, “Here judge.. this is what I think I am dealing with.” then hand over an article with a few highlighted parts. Remain completely calm in court and don’t get hysterical. I know it’s easy for me to say because I didn’t have to go to court against the bad man… but remember your ex is going to try to paint you as unstable so you want to be the pilar of stability. Remember when OZ was controlling everything and Dorthy was afraid of OZ and then wasn’t it TOTO that pulled the curtain back and OZ got all flustered and looked like an idiot. That’s what you want to happen. Don’t be afraid… he’s gig will eventually come down around him.
Good luck Muldoon.
alohatraveler:
You’re right about not telling long stories in court. Be it criminal or civil matters “anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law” is the code to operate by. Or put another way, you can and will be hanged by your own words.
I know Muldoon is based in GB. While I can’t speak to how courts there operate, I have a pretty good suspicion that the judge involved in her case probably won’t even accept an article saying “this is what I’ve been dealing with.” The most likely scenario is that the court is going to (a) demand specifics from her and (b) order psychiatric examinations of both him and her, if custody is an issue, and him, if criminal charges are brought against him. The problem, as anybody who has dealt with an S knows, is they are so damned good at conning the legal and psychiatric systems.
You are absolutely correct in your advice that she has to remain completely calm and not get hysterical and their objective is to paint her as unstable. My advice in this instance is for Muldoon to view this as giving a performance–strip all the emotion out of it, and to quote Sargent Joe Friday on the old “Dragnet” TV show, give “Just the facts, ma’am, just the facts.”
Matt: I practice for a year or so … having my fiance or friend/family verbally insult me or talk down to me, or ask me a question and then cut me off when I tried to give my answer.
I was conditioning myself to take anything as it came at me so I wouldn’t come unglued or cry (out of shock) in the kangaroo courts at work or when the attorneys deposed me. I don’t know what would have happened during the deposition, but I would have been fired if I cried at work … my bosses wanted to claim that I was unstable and always cried at work. Anyway, practicing being insulted or talked down to toughened (or conditioned) me up so I wouldn’t come unglued because I knew they were doing everything to make me come unglued or loose my cool. I was able to keep my composure … especially when someone cuts your answer off and talks over you … like you are not even in the conversation. Even when a personnel officer said to me in a kangaroo meeting “Is this why you started all this Wini, because your mother is DEAD!”. The only thing that came in my mind when that was said to me was my parents voices saying “Wini, they weren’t lucky enough to have parents like us”.
Nice folks I worked with.
This is also what your tax dollars go to. Millions of tax dollars were wasted trying to get 7 of us who knew our bosses and their cronies were anti-social. If they could waste millions on us, guess how many more millions are wasted in the other 49 states?
Peace.
Wini:
Your “boot camp” is actually not a bad form of conditioning. Any litigaor will tell you that as awful as depositions are, the whole point is to get a witness conditioned. And when you are on the receiving end, well…
As a lawyer who has been on both sides of the rail — both as an attorney and as someone who has been sued (not malpractice, but where I was personally sued when I foolishly guaranteed loans for a conman brother) I agree that there’s a lot that I don’t like about our so-called system of justice. On the other hand, having been asked to consult for countries which are developing justice systems after having thrown off dictatorships/totalitarian systems of government, there is a lot to be said for our system. The words “innocent until proven guilty”; and “everyone is entitled to their day in court” actually do mean something in our country. Or, as I often say, our founding fathers didn’t put those words in our Constitution because they sounded nice.
Matt: My bosses played so many games with the seven of us that filed suits against them. 5 of the 7 were illegally fired or not allowed to come back into work. One co-worker was illegally fired for collapsing on the floor in tears over all the abuse she took for years from these animals … another was illegally fired for slapping his hand on the conference table while he was explaining he did not do what they accused him of … a defense reaction to their obscene set ups against this person. Well, needless to say, his slamming his hand down on the conference table was considered threatening and he was fired within minutes of doing so. My first kangaroo hearing … the monitor (another slime ball) kept looking at his watch and saying to me “look how long we are giving you Wini”. Of course, I had no clue what so ever what he was referring to. This went on all morning until late in the afternoon. They finally broke the hearing up for another day. During that day, I must have heard this monitor say while looking at his watch “look how long we are giving you Wini, no one has ever been given this much time”.
Later that evening while I was home it dawned on me what he meant by telling me and looking at his watch “look how long we are giving you Wini” was that most people would insult them or raise their voice towards them by telling them off for the disgusting way they were being treated … so they usually get people to react … then of course, get them fired on insubordination for reacting.
These bosses and their cronies, the hearing officers, personnel officers and affirmative action officers were a well oiled, vicious machine … who got their way every time with people they wanted out of the way. You would think they paid our salaries? Sick. Sick. Sick.
Peace.
It’s very frustrating that these guys can be in positions in power. When we all become more aware and evolved as a community, we will recognize who these people are, and will not promote/appoint/elect them. I believe that day is not so far off. We are part of an awakening – personally and globally