On Friday, June 22, 2012, the verdicts were announced in two important child molestation trials that had been going on simultaneously in Pennsylvania:
Jerry Sandusky, the former assistant football coach of Penn State University, was convicted of 45 of the 48 child molestation charges against him. And, Monsignor William J. Lynn was found guilty of essentially contributing to a cover-up of sexual predators among Catholic priests in the archdiocese of Philadelphia. The priests had been molesting children for years. Lynn was the first high-ranking church official to be prosecuted for failing to protect children.
The Philadelphia Inquirer has reported on both of these cases extensively. You can read more about them here:
Complete coverage: Scandal at Penn State
Complete coverage: Clergy abuse case
In both of these cases, sordid details of men using their positions of prestige and power to seduce and manipulate children were aired in public. The eight young men who testified in the Jerry Sandusky trial were incredibly brave, and prosecutors in the church trial were able to introduce into evidence decades worth of rape and molestation charges. For victims everywhere, many of whom probably thought they would never be believed or see any modicum of justice, the verdicts are great victories.
But here is the real change brought about by these trials: Big, powerful institutions are now on notice. They can no longer sacrifice the innocents in order to preserve their reputations and protect their treasuries. Whether it is the Holy Roman Catholic Church or Penn State Football, the hierarchies will be held responsible for the crimes of their representatives.
According to the Inquirer, since priest abuse allegations first started surfacing in the mid-1980s, more than 3,000 civil lawsuits have been filed, and the Catholic Church has paid out more than $3 billion in settlements. Dioceses have closed parishes and sold property to cover the costs. The Diocese of Wilmington, Delaware, filed for bankruptcy.
Read Sex-abuse crisis is a watershed in the Roman Catholic Church’s history in America, on Philly.com.
Penn State University, with two officials already indicted for perjury related to the Sandusky case, anticipates more criminal proceedings and an onslaught of civil suits. The university has already embarked on damage control. As soon as Sandusky was declared guilty, the university announced a program to offer cash settlements to the victims.
Read: Bob Ford: In Sandusky case, Penn State tries to get ahead of civil actions, on Philly.com.
(By the way, more Sandusky victims, besides the 10 listed in the trial, have come forward. Read: Jerry Sandusky trial did not include all of his alleged victims, on ABCNews.go.com.)
So, for all of us at Lovefraud, all of us who have been manipulated, molested and abused, these verdicts are worth celebrating. Evil was exposed. Evildoers are going to prison. Enablers of evil are paying the price for averting their eyes, shutting their mouths and failing to act.
All of us who are fighting the good fight should feel encouraged. Perhaps the time is coming when we can go up against the rich and powerful—and win.
Just-Us-5,
Welcomed. Sorry that you were in a situation that brought you here, but you will find support and understanding. Apparently you feel comfortable enough with us to finally post. That’s really good and wonderful. Congratulations on taking such an important and help step.
Penn State is putting its money where its mouth is.
http://now.msn.com/now/0625-sandusky-mural-mcquaid.aspx
It took Sandusky out of a mural and replaced his image with “Dora E. McQuaid, a poet, activist and Penn State alum who’s won awards for her work on behalf of victims of domestic and sexual violence.”
May there be more recognition of what we, the abused, have gone through.
G1S-I’ve been around for awhile, use to post quit a bit. Then I just took sometime reading and learning.
The story with my Nh is really what brought me to this site. This post lead to a discussion of shame, the awareness of how my mom taught me shame, all to well, is recent. It is a subject I haven’t beat to death so I thought this thread would be a good place to do.
Hi Just us,
How I remember that phrase, SHAME ON YOU. My grandmother used to say it too, all the time. Right along with the tongue clicking and sharp breath. Sometimes even a finger wag if I was especially shameful.
My mom would have happily continued making me ashamed over everything, if I hadn’t finally gone NC. She flew into such rages when things didn’t go her way that my dad used to have to sit on her to get her under control. Cuckoo.
Karma-lol I laugh cus it’s nice to know it didn’t just happen to me. My mom wasn’t out right phsyco but I think she wanted me to be her scape goat. She had 5 kids from three different men, probably the only great transgression she has a against her. However, it seems she has a god complex, never wrong, never sorry. Oh yeah, she has been sorry before while pouring out the tears, then getting sympathy. When my eyes open to how her apologies went…I’m sorry, poor me, now feel sorry for me…it was a WTF moment. She never did/does apologize with it being about remorse for how she treated me.
Holy cow, this is turning out to be therapeutic. I was taught well…honor your mother and father… . I’m talking bad about my mom. Am I sinning? There is the feeling….shame on me.
To keep this thread on track….about shame and abuse, let me say, if anybody can’t speak up because the overwhelming sense of shame fills your body…speak up in spite of it. Speak up, the more you do the more the physical sensation will diminish.
Just us 5,
Rest assured, it was not just you. And you are not a sinner. The things that happen to us as children have a huge impact on the relationships we get into as adults.
It’s liberating to be aware of how you were manipulated as a child. Good for you for calling it out. 🙂
Karma-How does it take a person over 40 years to realize it?
And I have to say, I feel guilty for for speaking it. I still love my mom a lot, but it hurts so much to discover the reason I thought it was ok for my h to treat me the way he does was because of what she taught me. Sometimes I wonder if she does love me the way she proclaims to.
I am the mother of 4 boys. I try so hard not to teach them guilt and shame. Sure hope I am not.
Karma, why did you go NC with your mom?
Just,
I think there are many reasons it takes so long to see it. You sound like you are a loving person, and its normal for compassionate people to only see the best in others. It also sounds like you are a religious person, and you were taught to honor your parents or face the consequences.
Don’t be hard on yourself!
I had to go NC with my mom because she was incredibly damaging to me. I could go on for pages, but she was determined to make me feel like dirt in any way possible. However, I did not go NC with her until I was 40 – kept thinking she’d change or that I should learn to live with it, etc. I finally just had ENOUGH of her evil behavior. She lied, stole, manipulated, etc.
You have 4 boys, how nice!
Oh yeah, “shame on you.” That was a big one for me, too.
Karma-I had along response to you and got booted off. Ugh.
I was saying, mine was(is not) evil but your word egocentric, got me thinking. I think she is egocentric AND has low self-esteem at the same time, if that is possible. Mine did not degrade me but she planted seeds to set me up for failure. The mirror thing you said…I think she tries to keep me where she THINKS she’s at. But she saves the pitty card for herself.
I’m kind of afraid to keep exploring her treatment of me because I found too much evil in my h when I did that.
Kim-The “shame on you” worked on me. It was like a curse that stuck. However, my mom also gave us kids only two choices when someone was mean to us..1)what did you do to them?. If you had done something wrong then…the curse of shame, if not, then… 2) feel sorry for them. Never ever once was any reason good enough to dismiss someone from your life.