A 24-year-old guy described himself in an Internet forum: He doesn’t feel emotion, is an excellent liar, becomes bored quickly, and experiences an adrenalin rush when deceiving or angering someone else. He asks, is he a sociopath?
I’d answer yes. The post is an interesting insight into how a disordered young man perceives himself and others.
Read Self-diagnosing sociopathy on the Dr. Robert forum.
Superkid;
Of all the traits the dating site “profiled,” other than being “less well-read,” he was “less trusting.”
I believe spaths are less trusting because they know they are doing things that do not make them trustworthy, such as having multiple relationships or lying about the past. They are not honest because they are afraid that if they are honest, they will lose their current target.
My x-spath lied about his use of recreational drugs. My mistake was believing him, since my experience is that 99% of those in the gay community who both smoking and drink also use recreational drugs.
He played very innocent and reserved with me. My mistake was believing his act. No 30-something gay man is very innocent.
By giving me some details about his broken home and growing up poor, he led me to believe that he was showing trust in me. My guess now is that he only told me those things to prevent him from really questioning his past.
To that, I have a strong suspicion he may have been involved with some sex crime, my guess sex with a minor.
They are paranoid because they intend to screw you over and they expect that you will want revenge eventually.
That was one of the biggest red flags I should have heeded. Instead, it just became a WTF? moment and I filed it away.
He didn’t want me to know where his friend Harry lived but I already did and he didn’t know. One day, we were to meet in town and I saw him coming from the oppostie direction than Harry’s house. He had circled around to try to deceive me. I simply asked him why he had done that. His answer was: “I didn’t want you to know because you’re the type of person who might want revenge on me someday.” HUH? WTF?
I asked, “why would you think that of me?”
He replied, “you’re kind of crazy in some ways.”
God, how I wish I’d known then, what I know now.
The WTF? moment is the biggest red flag.
Skylar;
Mine told me that I was “too intense for him” then stormed out of the restaurant on him…
Not only a WTF moment, but a but hypocritical, no?
SK:
Yeah, I never thought about it before…this trustworthy thing. But it makes soooo much sense now.
Yep, that is exactly why…your X spath knew he was duping you and was “telling” you that you are too trusting. Geez. We were all so taken, weren’t we?
This is one out of many huge red flags I will look for in the future. It just never occurred to me before that the untrustworthy wouldn’t be trusting of other people. Makes me look at myself and realize that I am trustworthy and that is why I trusted everybody; I never saw any reason to question people; I always took people at face value. No more. Wow, I was stupid. The OW in triangulation with me told me things like people had to gain her trust…she didn’t allow too many people in to be her friend…that people had to earn it. I do understand that, but looking back, it’s because she knows she lies and manipulates everyone. How could I have been so blind? I’m a smart person!!
BBE:
Definitely hypocritical. Just trying to turn everything on you.
Craziest moment I ever had in my life while on a date.
All because I asked him back to my place after dinner. Then the “reserved and proper” act outside while i was trying to do damage control.
I cannot believe I fell for that one. I was so taken back. To this day, I wonder if I asked him what was really going on would I have gotten a straight answer…
BBE:
You would not have gotten a straight answer…no way. They just don’t operate that way.
Louise;
I guess you are correct. It gets better. I swore him off after that caper then I won’t say he love-bombed me, rather it was more like text message and email bombing.
His renewed interest in me caused me to think that maybe he was for real — a proper and reserved British guy.
So, he is coming back to my area the following week but staying outside the city. I told him I could easily hop on a train and come visit him.
He is immediately concerned. “How will you get home?” I told him I would take the train home. He did not understand, as trains in the UK do not run 24X7 like in NYC…
Thus, he was clearly concerned about me being at the Hotel with him…
BBE:
I know, don’t you hate that?? They did things that made us believe they really did care about us. The very last night I was ever with my X spath, he started asking about my mom and my brothers, etc. Seemed all concerned about my mom and about how she was getting her groceries, etc. He had NEVER asked about my family like that; seemed genuinely concerned. He was worried that I was cold; wanted to make sure I was warm, etc. And then…I didn’t hear from him in four months! I was devastated. And then when he came around again, it was the same thing. Asking me if I was OK and contacting me all the time; telling me he could see himself with me, blah, blah, blah. And then it all disappeared again, too. WHAT is wrong with them??? It is so disheartening.
So I know what you went through. It’s the push/pull.
Louise;
I spent my last night with the x-spath in a hospital. I was very sick and it was he who pushed me into going.
The next day, he dumped me via email…