A 24-year-old guy described himself in an Internet forum: He doesn’t feel emotion, is an excellent liar, becomes bored quickly, and experiences an adrenalin rush when deceiving or angering someone else. He asks, is he a sociopath?
I’d answer yes. The post is an interesting insight into how a disordered young man perceives himself and others.
Read Self-diagnosing sociopathy on the Dr. Robert forum.
One;
I’d go to a bar….
BBE:
Me, too!!
haha bbe and louise!
you know what, the funeral was really a comforting place to be. the mother of a business colleague died; and i went and asked him about all the pictures and met his sister and bil, and daugher. they are a very eccentric bunch of very bright people (winning awards in mathematics, etc.) I really liked them. It was one of the more grounded conversations I had had in a while. their mother had a lot of talents and skills, some of which i have, so i was able to talk with them about these things that they thought were extraordinary about their mom.
i am very good with death. I make appropriate jokes and hold people. i nurture, and it’s always light handed. i had forgotten this.
on the way there i came out to a business colleague of 1.5 years. i said that my ex had called (i know more about the colleague’s personal life than he does about mine) and that i was a bit floored. His response was to ask a few questions and address the ex as he. I just said, my ex is a girl. This guy KNOWS what an n is and he told me this really sad story about how his n bil pretty much caused his sister’s death. we had a short talk, and then it dawned on me that this is an anniversary thing – the first time she whigged out and left in an narc huff was July 1st, 2006.
i realize that i don’t have to dwell on it. i don’t NEED to think about it (it’s okay if i do), I don’t need to be in pain over it or freaked out. nothing in my script says i have to ruminate about this. this is extremely positive.
i think about the spath so much less. FINALLY. she doesn’t steal hours of brain space anymore. so, the magic number for me has been 20 months. Lots more work to do, and lots lots more healing, but it has changed and i am much better.
all in all an interesting day. now sitting with my feet in a tub of cold water. the humidity is high.
one/joy:
I am glad you found a comforting place to be at the funeral.
I am also glad to hear you finally think about the spath less. I know I will get there. I can see it taking me 20 months or more. However long it takes, it takes.
louise – i never thought i would see this peace again. now i can work on letting go of the still present rage. i can work myself into a lather in about 3 seconds flat, and want to smack her. i am lucky we don’t live in the same area. it would take half a day to get to her and my rages don’t last that long.
she is a sad pathetic piece of crap of humanity. i still hate her. but i am going to work on that. hating comes out of fear and fear comes out of hating. and it ties up so much energy.
i HOPE that i am forever changed. I want these steal balls. i WANT to question peoples’ motivations; and be on guard for destructive behaviour, and be able to respond quickly and decisively when i see it. still not there yet; i still bury my head in the sand sometimes, and sometimes i just don’t know how to deal with bad situations. but if i made it this far, maybe i can do that, too! and so can you!
Donna,
i just read the original article that you started this thread with. I also read many of the responses. what the heck? How did you come across this? It’s spath brain porn. Interesting, yes. But oh so spooky. That said, I will probably go back there and read more at some point as it is quite revealing.
one/joy:
I also want to be forever changed. It was a lesson I had to learn. I was too trusting. I just automatically took people at their word. Honest people don’t think about duping others so it’s not even on our radar that we would be getting duped…conned…taken.
Louise and One;
I certainly find that when my life is active, full, social and at “normal” stress levels, I find that I do no think about the x-spath much. Heck, I was even at the place were I met him tonight and I had so many other things, good things on my mind, I really did not think about him other than remembering when there was a time I could not set foot in there.
In the past I would not say I had steel balls but I had boundaries. If my own neediness did not cause me to discard my boundaries, I would not have fallen for the manipulations of a sociopath.
I also was too trusting. Even when my gut told me something was not right with this guy, I was too trusting.
There is a Russian proverb that goes something like “in the calmest waters swim the ugliest fish.”
Don’t ever forget that.
One/Joy – I just found the article while doing some research. For those who are interested, it’s a glimpse into how a sociopath thinks.
BBE – okay, i am not getting your russian proverb. i have literally swum in the calmest waters with the ugliest fish – it’s where they prey- that way they don’t have to work hard to catch fish who wander into their territory. Snorkelers know not to relax in the the calmer and emptier waters (empty of lots of other fish and coral, etc.) So, i do get that. But i didn’t meet the spath in calm waters, at all. Nor, in a calm time in my life. So ?