A 24-year-old guy described himself in an Internet forum: He doesn’t feel emotion, is an excellent liar, becomes bored quickly, and experiences an adrenalin rush when deceiving or angering someone else. He asks, is he a sociopath?
I’d answer yes. The post is an interesting insight into how a disordered young man perceives himself and others.
Read Self-diagnosing sociopathy on the Dr. Robert forum.
Skylar, I laughed out loud at your comment about my X-cat “Chairman Mao” he was an EVIL CAT!!!! Maybe it is because I named him after the human EVIL person who killed 60 million people with is psychopathy (Dr. Barbara Oakley talks a lot about the human Mao in her book “Evil Genes”) LOL That laugh made my day. It is over 100 here today and I am going to have to go out here and check on my neighbor “grandpa”—the meth ho left a few days ago because his SS check had run out and he had no money, but she will be back when the next check comes.
I just happened to stop by his place on my way back from the post office and he was working on his electric….it had gone out and he had no water because he is on a well….he had two flat tires on his truck one on it and the spare was flat, and he had no cell phone minutes left so he was there without WATER, PHONE, ELECTRIC OR TRANSPORTATION. I took him some water and some supper and I’m going back down there to check on him again today.
I called his daughter who would help him out if he would let her but because she refuses to give him money to buy the “meth ho”cigarettes and booze, he won’t let her on the place….he is having a continual “garage sale” to try to raise money but he is down to the point now that there is nothing left but TRASH and no one wants to buy it. Plus the “sale” is a mile down a dirt road that has little traffic except the same neighbors over and over.
I know it is not my “responsibility” but he is old, slightly senile and pitiful and I ain’t gonna let “NOTHING AND NO ONE” living go without water or food in a hot situation like this. I will NOT HOWEVER GIVE HIM MONEY….so I guess I will get up here in a minute and go down there and check on him and take him a jug of water and something to eat. He is hooked by the psychopathic meth ho, but when she is there, I’m sorry I won’t take anything there….and maybe that is “judgmental” of me, but that’s my limit.
Oxy,
You mentioned a characteristic of your P son Patrick, who is so arrogant that he thinks he can anticipate or predict the response or behavior of family members even though he has only been around you a little bit in the last decades.
That is a characteristic of my husband, that he too could predict a person’s thoughts, intents, response so completely that he did not need a conversation with me. He only needed to think of what form of social punishment to be metted upon me b/c I had “earned” my punishment based on entire conversations and outcomes that happened ONLY in his head. My husband was SO adament that he was right.
I’ve seen the same here on LF, where a member has decided what I meant and excoriated me and shunned me, not for the words that I wrote, but for what was determined to be my real meaning gleened b/c of that “expertise” equal to that of a witchfinder, no matter how much I protested.
But my husband is spath, and my denouncer is not, or at least says not. So how to tell the dif??
Oxy
Also wondered if your neighbor’s meth ho has gotten him addicted as well? Not so far fetched I think. Explains why he wants her around b/c nothing else does.
Katy, this old goat is 82 and he’s not using, or drinking, he is just LONELY TO THE MAX and she picked him as a victim because she is essentially homeless and couch surfs where ever she can…his wife died a few years ago and he is so lonely.
I just got back from his house and he got the power on again, but has a water leak…I left him some supper and came on back home, but ran into another neighbor there at his continual garage sale, and he was “into her” for $30-40 bucks and she was asking about a cow boy hat he had for sale there….he wanted RETAIL price for it which was $125 or so so she passed on it…he wouldn’t come down on his price.
On the other thing, “MIND READING” is one of those dysfunctional things that many people engage in I think. Accusing someone of THINKING X and then getting mad about it is an old con game for sure….my egg donor did that to me, she excused herself for lying about “loaning” the TH-P the money for the vehicle because she KNEW I WOULD HAVE THROWN A FIT. So it was okay for her to lie because of what my reaction WOULD HAVE BEEN. Not MIGHT have been, but WOULD have been, and I could not defend myself from her mind reading. How did you prove you didn’t think that? You can’t. So it is a SET UP but at the time, I was so CRAZEEEEE all I could do was cry and beg her to stop saying that because it wasn’t true. She was having none of it because she KNEW MY THOUGHTS. Arrogance.
Written communication is different than verbal, and well over half and maybe as much as 80 or 90% of communication is NON verbal. And we lose that non-verbal when we are communicating in writing.
I have been set upon here from time to time by people who “put words into my mouth” (typing) were not even on the SCREEN….and also put meaning to words that were never intended. It happens from time to time, and I do my best to IGNORE IT….I wasn’t always so able to ignore it. I was too raw and it hurt too much, but as I have become less raw, I am less easy to “wound”— it is that way in real life as well. I don’t take offense very often, but when I do take “offense” I don’t let it get to me personally, I just realize that the person is being a jerk and give them a “big case of leaving alone.” Sometimes when it is someone3 you’ve had a relationship with that was “close” or you thought it was, it is painful, but I believe it is MORE PAINFUL to wonder when the next wound will be coming than to just break it off.
In January my BEst friend for over 30 years and I “broke up” because she is very depressed (he husband is abusive) and she started taking it out on me, and I called bull sheet on it…her response was “well that is what best friends are for, you have a fight and make up”—my response was “No, that is NOT what friends are for, friends don’t treat each other like sheet” I haven’t heard from her in six months now. I hate it happened, but you know, it is not my fault she is in an abusive relationship and wants to stay in denial, and to stay depressed and put up with his sheet….and I don’t allow people to treat me with disrespect and spite—and especially not more than one time. Her idea of “best friends” and mine are just too far apart.
She isn’t a psychopath and I have some wonderful memories of our friendship, but It doesn’t mean it is going to go on any more. I wish her the best in life, but the path she has chosen is not my path and our ways have parted.
In the introduction to the 25th Anniversary Edition of her book, Women and Madness, Phyliss Chesler, M.D. writes:
We now understand that women and men are not “crazy” or “defective”when, in response to trauma, they develop post traumatic symptoms,including insomnia, flashbacks, phobias, panic attacks, anxiety,depression, dissociation, a numbed toughness, amnesia, shame, guilt, self-loathing, self-mutilation, and social withdrawal.
Oppression causes bodily changes. These changes make you think you are going crazy. There is a difference between a mental illness and a psychological injury. Victims of abuse are not mentally ill, they have been injured. Healing does happen. We find ways to move from victim to not-victim.
ErinBrock-I like that!
EB, that is WONDERMENT!!!!! Thank you.
Well, I went and checked on “grandpa” today—-he has water and I took him some more food, so I’m off the guilt hook…ran into another neighbor that he and the meth ho had “borrowed” money from…LOL The Ho is gone for now, at least til his next check comes in. LOL Sigh! Poor old codger.
Oh, I found a research study about dementia in elderly, and one of the EARLY and FIRST signs is that they get to where they cannot tell sarcasim and they cannot tell an obvious lie. So I think Grandpa has reached that p;oint. I called his daughter and updated her on what is going on. Poor old codger, he is just another BLIND victim, and a perfect example of why the elderly are such great victims for scams and Psychopaths.
EricBrock,
I liked your post. Amen, sistah.
Gee wiz – I have been traumatized my whole life by spath’s and narc’s, so I guess I have had PTSD for 54 years, the past 2 years have been the most stress free ever, and now I have to worry about being an elderly old geezer being chased by a crack ho…oh my…where’s my cain?
I think these skills are useful with ANY toxic person.
SKILLS FOR DEALING WITH NARCISSISM
by Bruce Gregory, Ph.D
Most people feel victimized by narcissistic forces and narcissists. This is because they have felt consistently oppressed, suppressed, or frustrated by narcissistic forces This becomes problematic in terms of achieving sustainability.
When one is in a “victim state,” one sees the oppressor as the enemy, as the one with the power, and as a result, the victim is easily manipulated into frustration and anger. The narcissist will utilize this dynamic to incite people into emotional states which can be exploited into distractions from the core issues.
Skills for dealing with attempts to intimidate can be divided into two areas, intrapersonal and interpersonal.
Intrapersonally, it is essential not to react. This means that reactions of fear, impatience, or anger are not practical. In their place should be patience and curiosity. On an interpersonal level, responses and questions like, “that’s interesting; could you explain that?; or, “I am not clear about that; would you please clarify (or elaborate)?; or, “it seems like there is a contradiction in your logic.”
All of these can generate positive results in terms of reducing the control of the narcissistic forces. This is done through the non-reaction, which communicates, “you are not so powerful that you can manipulate me, or us, and distract us from the issue. It is also done through the questions which communicate, “I/we are not afraid of you; we are not leaving the space/situation to your control alone; we will challenge you if necessary; you cannot win through intimidation or disinformation.”
Excellent individual emotional boundaries are so critical for dealing with narcissism.These emotional boundaries prevent the force of the narcissism emotions from throwing an individual off balance. The emotional boundaries are also helpful in not taking the narcissism’s actions or positions personally.
In interacting with narcissism, one does not want to fall into the narcissist’s world and take what is going on personally.
Narcissism’s actions are indiscriminate. They are directed toward any object, person or group that threatens its control, domination and grandiosity. An excellent emotional boundary system does not allow the force of another person’s emotions to penetrate one’s own personal space.