Once you finally figure out that you are dealing with a sociopath, you may feel like you can’t tell anyone what really happened. After all, it’s embarrassing to admit that no, you didn’t see it coming, and yes, you fell for the lies. And if you do venture to describe the sociopath’s true behavior, you may be met by disbelief. “What? That charming person couldn’t possibly have done that. You must have misinterpreted.”
You quickly learn that people do not understand what you are talking about. Either they don’t believe you, or they ostracize you. So you stop talking. You try to hide what happened, even from yourself.
Silence about being betrayed by sociopaths has two effects:
- Your pain is bottled up inside you, impeding your own recovery
- The world does not learn just how many social predators live in our midst
Why sharing your story of surviving a sociopath helps you recover
A big reason why it’s often so difficult to recover from the devastation of the sociopath is that you feel so isolated, like no one really understands what you experienced. Unfortunately, this perception is often correct. People who have been lucky enough to avoid sociopathic exploitation do not understand what happens.
That’s why a community like Lovefraud is so important. Everyone who reads and posts here does understand.
When you share your story of surviving a sociopath, you are no longer carrying the burden of your painful experience all by yourself. To know that someone truly empathizes with you is extremely validating. Especially when a sociopath has been calling you “crazy” and “mentally unbalanced,” the validation helps you recover.
And, it helps others recover. By saying, “Yes, this happened to me,” other people who have been targeted read stories that are just like theirs and realize that they are not alone. Everyone moves towards recovery.
Break the silence about sociopaths and help change the world
Millions of sociopaths live among us. Sometimes they look scary, but usually they don’t — they seem to be just like the rest of us, at least at first. They’re attentive and charming. They appear to be our best friend, or a pillar of the community.
Silence about being betrayed by a sociopath, unfortunately, enables them to continue hiding in plain sight. The particular sociopath who targeted you continues exploiting people. Plus, all the other sociopaths who prowl the planet continue their destructive ways, because society doesn’t know to be on the lookout for them.
Talking about sociopaths accomplishes three things:
- Helps your own recovery by sharing the burden of your experience
- Helps others recognize that they’re involved with a predator
- Warns the rest of the world about the predators who live among us
So educate yourself about this personality disorder, and when the opportunity arises, talk about it. Even if it’s not safe to talk about your personal situation, you can share general information, or even send someone a link to Lovefraud.
Knowledge is power. The first step in protecting ourselves from sociopaths is knowing that they exist.
How to share your story on Lovefraud
Lovefraud offers you multiple ways to talk about your experience:
- Comment on articles in the Lovefraud Blog — here’s how to comment.
- Participate in the Lovefraud Community Forum — share your story or respond to others.
- Submit your story to post on Lovefraud, and/or possibly be interviewed in the media, by filling out the Share Your Story survey.
Click the “Next” link below and on the following pages. Or jump right to a particular topic in the index.
Next: Exposing the sociopath — what to think about
Index of information on sharing your story
- Exposing the sociopath — what to think about
- How to tell your story of surviving a sociopath in the media