CRON: Array ( [1553002815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553003115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553003415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553003715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553004015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553004315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553004615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553004915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553005215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553005515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553005815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553006115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553006415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553006715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553007015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553007315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553007614] => Array ( [wp_update_plugins] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => twicedaily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 43200 ) ) [wp_update_themes] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => twicedaily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 43200 ) ) ) [1553007661] => Array ( [wp_version_check] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => twicedaily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 43200 ) ) ) [1553007915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553008515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553009115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553009403] => Array ( [nxs_hourly_event] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => hourly [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 3600 ) ) ) [1553009415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553009715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553010015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553010315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553010615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553010915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553011215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553011515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553011815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553012115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553012415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553012715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553013015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553013315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553014215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553014515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553014815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553015115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553015715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553016023] => Array ( [puc_cron_check_updates-ad-inserter-pro] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => twicedaily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 43200 ) ) ) [1553016315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553016615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553016915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553017215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553017515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553017815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553018115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553018715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553019015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553019315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553019615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553019915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553020136] => Array ( [wpbdp_hourly_events] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => hourly [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 3600 ) ) ) [1553020215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553020515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553020815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553021115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553021415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553022015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553022076] => Array ( [wp_privacy_delete_old_export_files] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => hourly [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 3600 ) ) ) [1553022315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553022615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553022915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553023215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553023515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553023815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553024415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553025015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553025315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553025615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553025915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553026515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553028615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553028915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553029215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553029515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553029815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553030115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553030715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553031015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553031315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553031615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553032215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553032515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553032815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553033115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553033415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553033715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553034315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553035215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553035815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553036115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553036415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553036715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553037015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553037315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553037615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553037915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553038215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553038290] => Array ( [do_pings] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => [args] => Array ( ) ) ) ) [1553038515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553038815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553039115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553039415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553039715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553040015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553040315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553040915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553041215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553041515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553041815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553042115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553042415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553042715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553043015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553043315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553043615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] 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60 ) ) ) [1553045715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553046015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553046315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553046615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553046915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553047215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553047515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553047815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553048115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553048415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553048715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553049015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] 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60 ) ) ) [1553050815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553051115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553051415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553051715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553052015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553052315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( 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60 ) ) ) [1553055915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553056215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553056515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553056815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553057115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553057415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( 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) [1553060715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553061015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553061315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553061915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553062215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553062515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553063115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553063415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553064315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553064615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553064915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553065215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553065515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553065815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553066115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553066415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553066715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553067015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553067615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553067915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553068215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553068515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553068815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553069115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553069415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553069715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553070315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553070615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553070915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553072415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553072715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553073015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553073315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553073615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553073915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553074215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553074815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553075415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553076015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553076315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553076615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553076915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553077515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553077815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553078115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553078415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553078715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553079015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553079915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553080515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553080815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553081115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553083215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553085915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553087115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553088315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553089215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553089515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553089815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553090115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553090715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553091015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553091315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553091615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553091915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553092215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553092515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553092815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553093115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553093415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553093715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553094615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553094915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553095215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553095515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553095815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553096115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553096415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553096715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553097015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553097315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553097615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553097915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553098515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553098815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553099115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553099415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553099715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553100015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553100315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553100615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553100915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553101215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553101515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553101815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553102715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553103615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553103915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553104215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553104515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553104815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553105115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553105415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553105715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553106015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553106315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553106615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553106915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553107215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553107515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553107728] => Array ( [check_plugin_updates-easy-social-share-buttons3] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => twicedaily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 43200 ) ) ) [1553107815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553108101] => Array ( [wp_cache_gc] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => [args] => Array ( ) ) ) ) [1553108145] => Array ( [bestwebsoft_wp_update_plugins] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => twicedaily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 43200 ) ) ) [1553108294] => Array ( [check_plugin_updates-ad-inserter-pro] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => twicedaily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 43200 ) ) ) [1553108715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553109315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553109615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553109915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553110215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553110515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553110815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553111115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553111415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553112015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553112315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553112486] => Array ( [check_plugin_updates-easy-social-share-buttons] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => twicedaily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 43200 ) ) ) [1553112615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553112915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553113215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553113815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553114115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553114415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553114715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553115015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553115315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553115318] => Array ( [ao_cachechecker] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => twicedaily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 43200 ) ) ) [1553115615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553115915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553116215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553116515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553116815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553117115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553117415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553117715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553117716] => Array ( [action_scheduler_run_queue] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => every_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553118015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553118302] => Array ( [wp_1_wc_privacy_cleanup_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => wp_1_wc_privacy_cleanup_cron_interval [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 300 ) ) ) [1553118315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553118615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553118915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553119215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553119515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553119969] => Array ( [update_network_counts] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => twicedaily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 43200 ) ) ) [1553120115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553120415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553120715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553121015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553121315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553121611] => Array ( [woocommerce_cleanup_sessions] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => twicedaily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 43200 ) ) ) [1553121615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553121915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553122215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553122515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553122815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553123115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553123415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553123715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553124015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553124315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553124615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553124915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553125215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553125515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553125815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553126115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553126415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553126715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553127615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553127915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553128215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553128515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553128815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553129415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553129715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553130015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553130315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553130615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553130915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553131215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553131515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553131815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553132115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553132415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553132715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553133015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553133315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553133915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553134215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553134515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553134815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553135115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553135415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553135715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553136015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553136315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553136615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553136915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553137215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553137515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553137815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553138415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553138715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553139015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553139315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553139615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553139915] => Array ( [seopressor_link_check] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553140215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553140515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553140815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553141115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553141415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553141715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553142015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553142315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553142615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553142915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553143215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553143515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553143815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553144115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553144415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => 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By | June 17, 2013

The sociopathic perspective

Do sociopaths know what they are? Many, many Lovefraud readers ask me this question. The short answer is that some of them do and some of them don’t.

The man who sent me the following email certainly has insight into his own personality:

I would like to thank you for making your videos they have given me an insight into how you people recognize us. WE are not to blame for your short comings because you are weak minded and foolish enough to be taken advantage of. We are evolutions next step we don’t allow silly emotions to cloud our judgments. In fact we use our advantage for survival because we are natures next course. I know I sound very narcissistic and apologize for that but if you are so proud and concerned and attached to your emotions why not allow someone to make you feel like a queen for something as worldly as money? We give you what you are missing just as all of the world ecosystem has since the beginning of time. It’s funny how we have been so easily classified and even now as I attempt to alter myself in order to become unparallel to descriptions of us, I find it very difficult to even perceive. I would like to boast of my strategic victories over hearts but I would fear you making another video and making this game more difficult, of course it would make it much more challenging and pleasurable when enjoying the hunt.

This email is a great example of the sociopathic perspective, whether or not individual sociopaths are aware of it. Lest we forget, here is how sociopaths view themselves, the rest of us, and the world:

1. Sociopaths are superior beings, and everyone else is a mark.

2. If marks are dumb enough to be conned, they get what they deserve.

3. Marks deserve to be targeted because of their stupid emotions and consciences.

4. Emotions and consciences are useful in marks, because they can be exploited.

5. Exploitation is a perfectly reasonable way for sociopaths to get what they want.

This is why there is no rehabilitation for sociopaths. They do not feel that they have a disorder; rather, sociopaths believe they have an evolutionary competitive advantage.

Or, for those sociopaths who don’t have the intelligence or education to analyze their place in the world, they’re simply content the way they are and see no need for change.

 


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4Light2shine

There’s so much we can glean from from hearing the first person perspective. Here are some of the things I noticed along with your observations. I am studying you and will adapt my behaviors using the info I glean to exploit you. While he was aware that in just his opening remarks he had already revealed his narcissism, notice what is being presented as an apology is immediately followed by comments that excuse, condone, and justify. I am increasingly baffled by just how many people will not only swallow these haughty pseudo apologies down themselves but will go to great lengths to try to shove them down your throat. Next he revealed that he wanted to have his massive ego stroked by revealing his godlike power, and how successful he had been, and just how easy it was. Then the player checks his hand. He is aware he is being studied also and must adapt = deceive. Winning, exploiting, dominating. I Will win. I Must win. Thanks for sharing that with us Donna.

Tea Light

He’s a keeper! Form an orderly queue ladies!

Tea Light

….directed at the charming correspondant, not you 4light,..!

4Light2shine

No worries Tea. I’m with you.

fightforwhatsright

Funny, Lightsie!

What an article and a revelation into their rotten minds! I feel the complete opposite. I find that sociopaths I have dealt with are the missing link in evolution. I have actually called mine a foster monkey to his face before. Daddy got him a job. Daddy died and they immediately fired the loser. Then he lived with Mommy until he was 32. Then, he joined the military and was a useless drunk on taxpayer dollars…just as he is now.

In between, he faked out men and women with normal, healthy emotional and physical faculties. This is because normal people do not expect an “devolved” human to actually be like the missing link monkey. My main spath has serious anti-social personality disorder. He is like a monkey in many ways. He only does what animal instinct tells him to do. However, he has edged just enough above a monkey, so he can use language skills, a phony smile, etc. to get what he wants.

Sociopaths are anomalies of evolution. They are the missing link. It is especially interesting to hear from a male one. I do not want to insult men whom have suffered at the hands of a female sociopath. However, statistics are statistics. And the most recent scientific research shows that most men are not capable of using both sides of their brain at once while most women immediately and regularly use both sides of their brain.

I wonder if perhaps the missing link sociopaths can only use less than half of the brain. The part that contains animal instinct only (the amydala) and makes them go after whatever they want using any means possible…just like a monkey.

It is interesting to see what a monkey with language skills believes is a higher plane of brain when they don’t even have the neurons to connect the dots of a human brain. He won’t figure it out until he is old….just like an old useless monkey who can’t figure out that the monkey tribe doesn’t find him appealing in any way unless he has money or changes his ways. Most of them end up alone in bad apartment buildings with nothing but their monkey brain telling them they are human.

Tea Light

My abuser will end up with mummy peeling his bananas for him twice a day if, as he claimed when he last harassed me, his wife is leaving at the end of the month.

fightforwhatsright

Oh, Lightsie, I hope he leaves you alone after she is gone.

4Light2shine

Hey FFWR the one side of my brain that I’m using right now is not offended. When I can access the other side later I’ll let you know what it thinks ! I hope you know I’m just kidding. Keeping our sense of humor helps us all to bring a little lightness into our mostly heavy realities. I enjoyed your monkey analogies and foster monkey was a sweet burn. I bet it felt good when you said it.

fightforwhatsright

4light: Thank you for being gracious. I know we have men here whom have been tormented by spaths. I also have known men who do use both sides of their brain and those are the ones who usually seek out information, counseling, and personal growth. I know that everyone who is legitimate on this site is someone who is much deeper than the average person….male or female. I am always glad when men understand that statistics show more men fitting into certain categories than women and vice versa. I honestly often fit into what some people might consider more male traits. They think that both sides of female brains communicate with each other and work at the same time because they have usually been the caretakers of children so the neurons had to connect more to protect babies. I never wanted children, but still have connecting parts of my brain which I use to develop comedy! LOL.

4Light2shine

Good to hear from you FFWR . I’ve never really fallen into the average guy mold. My life would have been a lot simpler had that been the case. Not my gift. I’m sure that’s a big part of how or why I developed other areas of my person beyond the norms. I have an artistic side. As a drummer I can do something different with all 4 limbs and sing a harmony part at the same time. So I’m a pretty good multitasker. Does my brain work like you gals ? I don’t think so. I shall defer at least for now. My synapses aren’t quite what they used to be lately. Hope you’re getting some good rest. Mine’s out of town for a few days too. Soooo peaceful. We all enjoy your comedy here btw.

FFWR,
Loved your post!I’m not an evolutionist,but rather believe the Bible’s account of creation,that man was created in God’s image
(not in appearance,but rather in qualities and emotions~YES, MR SOCIOPATH~GOD HAS EMOTIONS!

Just before I came to Lovefraud today,I checked out the news on msn.com.There was a picture of a MONKEY getting juice out of a vending machine! Good pic,lol! Goes along with the previous posts!
Yep,spath was always stopping at vending machines for diet coke…even monkies can do that!

4Light2shine

Hi FFWR. I was hoping I could get a bit of advice from you. I noticed in another post you mentioned to Blossom about changes in brain chemistry, ect, and that it can make you ill. Since your other post was addressing her situation I didn’t want to distract from your concerns there. Here’s my situation. I was doing better at least a bit. Lately I am back to waking up @ 3 or 4 till I crash again 2-3 hrs later. My anxiety seems higher lately. Sometimes the weekend is spent just recouping from being stressed and physically hurting from work. My spath still lives here and I’m working out my strategy. I had someone else trigger my red flag reflex by not honoring a commitment he had made that has put me in a stressful situation trying to come up with something fast to cover for him bailing. My radar is up as I see deception, entitlement, lack of accountability, and manipulation. I actually smelled some of these earlier coming from the same direction. Is my body reacting to these toxic personality traits ? Seems basically like a type of chronic stress ? Anyone’s thoughts are welcome. Thanks

4light2shine,
As one who has suffered from the effects of stress and anxiety,I guess I’ll “do” until fight can get back to your question!

YES,YES and yes!When you are having to use your weekends just for “recuping”,then your body is definitely reacting to these toxic personality traits!Not only are you faced with stress at home,but also at work,that =CHRONIC STRESS!If proactive action isn’t taken,you will find yourself feeling and getting sicker!

fightforwhatsright

Hi 4Light and Blossom:

Sorry I have been losing sleep with getting the spath to the hospital for surgery and slept 11 hours last night so am still catching up. I am glad Blossom was kind enough to answer your question. I am sure everyone here has experienced sleep problems…some sleeping too much and some not enough.

There are decades of brain research that show that parts of our brain actually change in size under stress and/or depression. The hippocampus is a very important portion of the brain and it will actually shrink in size when we have prolonged stress. Dr. Peter Levine is my favorite expert about this and I have read two of his books so far. Every part of our brain is affected by stress and trauma. Especially if we are Highly Sensitive People (another great book!).

It is too bad you are still living in the same quarters as your spath. Mine lives in a place that I own, he rents, and we are separated by solid walls and my locks. I can walk away. We are not a couple any more in my mind. He is my Lodger and he thinks he is much more important to me because he used to be. Since I began studying sociopaths and narcissists and sharing and getting such great suggestions and encouragement here, I have changed a lot. I still spend time with him and he can be pleasant as they all can be. But, my time with him is dished out sparingly. We don’t make any outside commitments as a couple and the only commitment we have right now is he gives me money and he has a roof over his head, some caregiving, and he will listen sometimes when I need to talk.

I strongly recommend massages if you can afford them. I also highly recommend getting Jon Kabat-Zinn’s “Mindfulness for Beginners” and “Mindfulness for Pain” CDs. Waking up at different times and being unable to sleep is also a sign of Depression. Kabat-Zinn has one of the best books (and it also comes with a great CD) about Depression I have ever read. These books and CDs and their authors are the things I use daily and they are the best thing I have ever found for a way to read, listen and learn how to relax…even if your mind wanders away a lot.

When living with a spath, it would be abnormal for your sleep not to be affected. They leave us jumpy and hypervigilent. What will they do or say next? How will they hurt us next? So, it is affecting your sleep and as Blossom said, it is normal to need to catch up on your days off work. When your plan comes together to get the spath out of your home, or when you leave if it is his home, you will go through a long time of confusion, grieving, sleeping too little/much, waking up at the wrong time, etc. for a while. If the trauma/depression goes away, you will get back to normal. If it doesn’t, you may find that your sleep patterns need to be different for a good, long time…which is OK. Sleeping when you can is better than not being able to sleep at all.
It sounds to me like you might want to learn more about a wonderful thing called Detachment. I first learned about Detachment in Al-Anon meetings…for friends and family of alcoholics. Detachment means you don’t take on his things. If he made a commitment for you, you only call for yourself and let the person know that you were not aware that a commitment was made for you and you won’t be able to make it. If the people are important to you, ask them if they would be willing to call you directly with any invitations because you do enjoy their company very much, but you just can’t make it this time. Then, after the spath is gone (if he/she is leaving) take the time to take care of yourself and invite those people by yourself for something. See if you can read more about how to detach from other people negatively affecting you.

I would also suggest getting a lock for your bedroom door and a sound machine. That works very well for me as I feel safer. Think of yourself first.

More on the exploitation of emotions,Hmmm~~~I’m wondering if MR Sociopath realizes he doing a jig with the devil?!He needs to remember that’s how the Devil originated….He thought He should be God!

4Light2shine

Blossom you’ll do just fine. I’m glad to hear from you and you comments are always valued by me. I guess I hadn’t really thought about it the way FFWR was alluding to. Managing my stress levels is going to have to be high on my priority list. It definitely has taken its toll. Thanks.

cathyannjones

I just got uninvolved with one of these guys. I ignored all the red flags (the 3 previous failed marriages he had) because he was so very attentive, taking me to movies, bowling, shooting pool, all the things I listed I liked to do on the dating site. I left after 8 months of lies (he was in constant contact with his 3rd ex wife who had committed credit card fraud on his first wife) with the excuse he had loaned her a car and he was talking to her about payments. He never told me I was attractive although other people do, because that would have built up my self esteem instead of tearing it down, which he did often (I don’t like your hair that way, I don’t like that dress on you as much as the first time I saw you in it, etc.) and the making fun of me and calling it a joke. Then there was the sex, him using me for sex and 2 days later saying we should just be friends, then pursuing me when I tried to move on. The final straw was on Saturday, after we talked Friday and said we were going to be friends, only talk occasionally (and it was a relief), he started calling my house, when he found out I was out, called my cell, insisted he had to bring me something, asked me to go for a ride, then to the movies and then out to eat (thereby monopolizing my entire afternoon) and while we were at Wendy’s, he asked me how I was going to get home if he left. I stayed calm, told him I had several friends that would pick me up and joked that I would be egging his house if he did that. When I got home, I sent an e-mail telling him exactly what I thought of him, and telling him if he contacted me again I would get a restraining order. I am so tired from the last 8 months of craziness and the past 2 days without him bothering me have been so peaceful.

dorothy2

NEVER EVER EVER tell someone ahead of time that you have intentions to get a restraining order. Not yelling at you but just emphasizing. Tell them once, maybe twice to stop contact in ANY form and then just do the RO. This was advised by my atourney and it makes sense to me, esp with a Spath.

fightforwhatsright

KathyAnn: Congratulations to you! Stay as peaceful as you can and share here if you start to forget how bad that was.

Dorothy: Thank you for that SAFE and excellent advice. I agree that it is always a good thing to keep secrets from a spath.

moonwave

I love how these people can barely put a sentence together and they think they’re the intellectually and genetically superior dominant race of beings that’s going to show us all how it’s really done. Their language is so awkward, like a 14-year-old trying to use big words for the first time. It just shows how connected language and emotions are. The spath I dated used the most awkward sentence constructions. One more red flag in dating and another sign that you’ve got a 10-year-old in an adult’s body. “I can’t put a sentence together but I’m evolution’s next step.” Right. Lord, if the world was run by sociopaths, how would it function? We’re talking the total break down of society as we know it. This letter sounds like the speech of a villain in a bad sci-fi novel.

cathyannjones

And the guy I just dumped, he couldn’t write or spell any better than a 2nd grader, but they are so good at being cunning and playing head games.

dorothy2

Absolutely……I have walked away from Spathx’s emails either scratching my head, huh?? Or feeling like it was so CAREFULLY worded that it sounded shallow and fake. Lack of affect, just like his words of eternal love and devotion. ALL BS!!
My nick name for him is TML, by the way! The Missing Link. Monkeys that don’t fit into the group get squeezed to the periphery. Ostracized I believe. On the outside looking in. Very sad.

Babs94540

I agree with you Moonwave. That’s exactly what I was thinking as I was reading the ‘spath’s letter; it sounds like a high-school kid’s version of a comic book super-villain.

Dr. Robert Hare nailed it; he said that psychopaths basically regard other human beings in the same way that a cat regards a mouse. Psychopaths are “intra-species” predators who will just as soon shoot you between the eyes as shake your hand, and with as little concern. (A psychopath’s behaviors are based solely on what is more personally advantageous to the spath; nothing more.)

An all-psychopath society might resemble a world populated by nothing but vampires. The original version of Dracula is the very embodiment of a charming, charismatic intra-species predator completely devoid of a conscience or feelings of empathy for the victim.

And yes, from personal experience, I believe that at least some with narcissistic pd and psychopathy do have personal insight and KNOW that they’re doing horrible things to other people, but are consciously choosing to go ahead and do these things anyway.

bettyjane

How sad for Mr. Sociopath! Not having empathy, any emotions, or feelings! To go through life always having to have the advantage and to win at all costs. I feel very sorry for these people because when it is all said and done they will die alone. To bad they cannot see that life is much more greater than their little games. To feel love, to feel how someone else feels is far more successful then a Sociopaths way of life!

myowngirl

I’m not sure I believe that the person that wrote that staement is really a sociopath. If they truly are, I wonder why they are wasting their time here on this sight where everyone knows what they are and knows to stay away. I see in the various comments from some here the shadows of myself years ago. I was raised by a spath, then married one. I remember the way that they controlled my every move and thought. I didn’t know there were people out there that could look you in the eye and lie to you day after day. My spath husband was so charming and could get anything or anyone he wanted for a while, when he was still handsome and things hadn’t caught up with him yet. I put up with his emotional abuse (you gain 1 more pound and I’m divorcing you!) for 5 years. I had tried to leave him so many times, but I would get this panicked, sick feeling in my stomach and just run back to him. He finally left me for greener pastures, he left his 2 daughters, ages 3 and 1. Then, 15 years later, he wanted to get to know them when they were grown up, they saw him for what he was pretty quickly. He died 2 years ago, 3 weeks after his his 3rd daughter (from 2nd ex wife)was married. He reunited with his 2nd ex again for about the 10th time at their daughters wedding. How ramantic!! He started experiencing symptoms like tripping over his own feet while walking, incontinence. He went to the hospital, was diagnosed with multiple brain tumors. His ex wife wanted to take him home to her state to get him to a Dr. that would cure him. She picked him up herself and drove him a few hundred miles to her house. Because of not being given proper care during the drive, he developed blood clots and died soon after she got her prize home. She has a lovely FB page in his memory where she states that she is in a relationship with him and he is the love of her life. She has wasted the last 25 years of her life trying to get him to behave and be the husband and father she thought he could be. I feel like I have dodged a big bullet. He left me, I got out alive and raised my daughters and am very happily married to a true partner. My heart aches for all of the people, men and women that get duped by sociopaths every day. But the good news is, those people can get away, get well, get on with their life and live very happily!! Keep up the good work Donna, and all of the regulars on this sight.

Mary1955

This somewhat commonly held notion that lack of conscience and lack of the ability to love/feel compassion is advanced in human evolution seems backwards to me. If the frontal lobes of the human brain, (where research indicates compassion originates from), are the more RECENT in human evolution, then these abilities seem later, not earlier, in human beings’ evolution. Add this to humans having been hunters and gatherers at one time, where humans WERE predators (and it was functional), then spath traits would be valuable. Later humans came to live in agrarian and then industrialized societies (and now information age societies) and the ability to care for each other and support each other — and feel compassion for others, seems more functional than being a predator. Spath traits, to me, seem earlier in human evolution – and hopefully will be extinct one day!

Delores

I believe the lack of empathy and conscience we are seeing now in psychopathy is a de-evolutionary misfit characteristic that may have a short term survival advantage in our totally messed up world but is doomed to extinction. They may thrive in the short run but all successful mamalian evolutioary species have love and compasion as traits required for survival. H
umans, even more so.

Babs94540

I agree that the traits of psychopathy/sociopathy (which includes the traits of narcissistic pd) are at a more primitive evolutionary level, and yet these abhorrent traits MUST have some survival value or they *would* have already died out long before now. In fact, if one of the traits of psychopathy is to have many short-term relationships and produce lots of offspring (which they abandon/fail to parent as they move on to the next “relationship”) we could eventually find that the spaths make up the majority of the population. Scary thought.

slimone

I love when these types write in to Donna, to ‘once again’ establish their superiority, dish out some insults, and let us know they will continue to win. Any audience will do…

FFWR: Love your perspective. I couldn’t agree more. Every one of these types I have known, regardless of innate intelligence, basically act like infants (or monkeys!). Every response is ‘simple’. Which sounds counter to what we may think of these sorts, and their ‘complicated’ game-playing. But, really, they only have a few set responses to the world: envy and contempt. Maybe I am missing something, but it seems to me they always seem to respond in one or both of these ways. They are either on the ‘bottom’ or on the ‘top’. If they are envious, then contempt kicks in to get them back on top (winning).

They may look smiley, happy, shiny people. But inside they are either envious or they are contemptuous. And all their cons seem to come out of these two basic responses.

4light: Your PTSD will not resolve itself until you are completely out of the influence of the spath. Our bodies react to the machinations and abuse of these types, even if our minds know what is going on. It’s just the way our bodies are designed. They react to protect us. But after the stress becomes chronic and unrelenting our bodies are in a constant state of hyper sensitivity. This means being awake at odd hours, crying unexpectedly, over reacting to other minor stressors, an inability to focus or achieve small goals, etc….. I hope that you can get away from your entanglement ASAP. I had to stay in, for safety reasons, after I knew what he was. Not for too long, but for a time. I didn’t start to truly feel ‘better’ until there was no contact. I don’t think, in these cases, that ‘mind over matter’ works….hang in there.

Take care all,
Slim

4Light2shine

Thanks Slim for your response. Makes perfect sense. Having multiple toxic sources converge on me simultaneously would obviously make me sick. Take’s the ” You make me sick ” thing to another level. No, you literally make me sick ! lol – Where’s the quarantine tent ?

slimone

Mary,

I agree. I do think they are definitely NOT representatives of human evolution. There is absolutely no evidence that lack of emotion and empathy is an advancement. More that it is a throw back.

I am just reading the Moral Molecule. It talks quite a bit about this subject. From the perspective that being moral, cooperative, and with good boundaries and a good connection to our intuition is the main thrust of human evolution.

amanwhocares

Grandiosity. I am inclined to mention once again Schaef’s When Society Becomes An Addict, Harper and Row, 1986.

These folks behave like animals. Perhaps they are operating more out of their lizard brains.

Delores

They behave much worse than animals. I can agree with snakes or reptiles but not mammals.

kmillercats

amanwhocares

That’s what I think of when I picture the spath now. A lizard/man with his lizard like head and face. He really does seem reptilian.LOL

Slim,

You are entirely correct. The basic difference between mankind and other animals is our ability to feel for each other. While some animals seem to have a sense of caring like porposes and ducks, science is still unclear whether their connections exist out of anything other than basic survival and protection of the species.

Ironically, when folks try to convey their sense of a predator after a relationship with them, they generally look to the animal phylum and ascribe the lowest form of existence to them such as “slugs”, “slime”, etc. I often recall trying to find a single term to convey the personality of my ex. The best I could come up with is that he was like the slime at the bottom of a very filthy barrel. Anything higher than that on the spectrum would actually have character.

A person without character can’t possibly understand what having character means, and can only see character as a flaw. That they are simply like the lesser animals on the phylum, without the basic elements that elevate mankind from beasts,is beyond their grasp.

Just as one shouldn’t sleep with a tiger who could rip your heart out if their need warranted it, one should never sleep (either metophorically or factually,) with a person who has anti-social personality disorder (ASPD). They are both as ruthless, but with a different set of tools.

Unless stymied by genetics, human beings have the ability to develop advanced levels of moral reasoning. Babies begin with only the ability to think of themselves. As they evolve, they begin to relate to the world around them, but in a very me-centered way. It is evident in the “no” phase of a two year old. As parents we try to instill a more advanced sense of moral reasoning in our children.

The next step is doing what is right and decent because there could be consequences for doing otherwise. Children at the transition of accepting consequences as a normal part of life are often heard to express “it’s not fair.”

Our moral development goes through additional stages until we acquire the ability to do what is right and decent out of love. This advanced stage of moral reasoning comes with the ability to let things pass for “the greater good.” It is this advanced stage of moral reasoning that predators prey on.

Neither psychopaths nor sociopaths evolve into this final stage of advanced moral reasoning. If you were preyed on by a psychopath, the good news is that you probably are a moral human being.

In response to a person who takes pride in their immorality: a tiger could kill me in a heartbeat. I don’t consider them a more advanced state of being because they can, any more than I could possibly think of a human predator as anything other than a person with a retarded level of moral development.

Joyce

tnvictim

JM, You understand this, I’m sure, but the spath has no feelings for you, us, or anyone other than themselves. They draw us in with whatever way they have to attract us, make us feel they love, or like us, and then proceed to separate as much money, material possessions, or whatever from us as possible and to have it for their own. Many, such as the one I was involved with, don’t even keep the money, or possessions for any length of time, but use it to further their con of another person, or simply give it away to family, or friends as a way to show how they are a responsible member of society to those that receive it. Some fool a multitude of people where they live for years into thinking they are really “nice” people while making the life, or lives of other(s)as miserable as they can.

Once they are done with us, they have no remorse as the writer of the email said; they are far superior to us in their view, and simply move on to con, swindle, and generally ruin the life of another in their chain of wrecked lives they leave in their path. Why? Simply because they can, and normally they get away with it because they have carefully selected their victims and only work their craft on people who are considered to be well respected in their communities and will be too embarrassed to have them prosecuted plus, in many instances, they never give out enough factual personal information to be apprehended by officials once they cut ties and run. In my case, I was able to obtain a good bit of factual personal information on my spath and have them arrested and charged for at least part of what of they did to me. Turned out they were on probation and parole from two other states and had violated their parole by even being in my state. Therefore, she had to serve out sentences in Illinois and Missouri before Tennessee gets her to serve the sentence she received from here. She still has another 8 years, or so, left before she will be out to start her conning and scamming and ruining lives again. I have no doubt whatsoever that once she is released, she will once again continue to do what she has always done only with a little more knowledge of how to avoid being put back in jail again.

It is sad that so many in this world are born to basically live off the suffering of others, but it happens every day and is going right at this moment in numerous homes, and vicinities. They are among us, but hopefully, thanks to this site and our experience with those that we were involved with, we won’t be enticed ever again to become another one’s victim.

Best wishes to all; inform your loved ones of what not to allow anyone to do to them, and always stay wary of another one attempting to fool you again. God bless.

Jerry

Libby

This letter is interesting on so many levels.

I suppose he has self identified and is graciously sharing his wisdom.

However, no truer words can be spoken.
He, in some perverse way is validating has mission.

Joke’s on him, he is validating our mission.

fightforwhatsright

Libby, I like your perspective. That is true. They feel very important letting us know how superior their inferiority is! Then, we know them even better and know what they think, how they think, and how disgusting they are.

4Light2shine

Jm I love your post. Nice job leading through the different stages of development. Your final conclusions on the advanced stage and our being targeted. You really nailed it ! Just so you know, I will be plagiarizing you. Thanks for sharing.

bluemosaic

Very interesting letter. The spath I was involved with referred to himself as a “Daddy Lion.” I had thought he meant his alpha personality, now I believe he knew exactly what he was.
I have learned more about what qualities and traits really make someone safe to embrace into our lives from this horrible event, than any other single encounter I have had with another person in my lifetime.

Thanks to all for the clarifying comments.

Bluemosaic

Delores

Like Daddy lions eating their young….

pattywack

Reading this article about the spath speaks loudly to me about importance of my Christianity. A spath violates AT LEAST 2 of the 10 commandments on a regular basis. Thou shall not lie (which is a way of life for a spath) and Thou shall not worship false idols (themselves-they are the idol) Thou shalt not kill, bear false witness against thy neighbor, commit adultery and the rest I’m sure are also not considered as they use any form of evil to think they are getting ahead in life, when in fact, become less and less of a person, until nothing is left. Seem like a lot of work to end up with nothing. But of course, they just resort to- well I don’t believe any of that.

Delores

There was nothing there to start with for a psychopath. They are born without a soul.

My Brother is a Spath-of-the-worst-kind! One who had a tramatic head injury as a young child. In his case at birth. One that is an Idiot.
And yes, at 61 he has our 87yo Completely Mother snowed.
Here’s the number one thing that that completely marks a Spath in my life…Utter Complete Self Importance, way beyond Narcissism. It’s Great to be the King!

He doesn’t “Steal” from her, but he pilfers. Let’s say he comes and eats 10 Lb of bacon over time, buys one and eats that one, and believes he has replaced all he consumed.

Yes, he gets things from her and gives it to others, taking the credit for it. Mother has discovered that several times.
He doesn’t play the direct lying game, he plays the Lead-To-Believe game.

Because he’s an Idiot, he’s found out by his targets and they Dump him HARD! The longer they are with him, the harder they Dump Him. His X of 8 years and another Girl Friend of 11 years both cleaned him out. The Girlfriend did it Fast and Furious.

One said “He doesn’t lie, he just doesn’t tell the truth!”
And he get’s others to fight his battles, including his targets.

If you have EVER felt like lying for someone (or did), you’re probably dealing with a Spath. Those Wives that cover up for their Husbands physically abusing their children, their dealing with a Spath.

I believe that Sociopathy runs in Families. It can take shape in the Village Idiot all the way to the Super Genius. That they are Born that way. That it cannot be “Taught” out of them. Most Importantly, that a child, well before age 15, will exhibit signs of being affected by it. A lot of Spath-ness can be spotted early on. If a child that does something Anti-social and is “corrected” for it does not cease the root behavior, but merely alters it’s implementation, that’s a SPATH. Although, I do believe a majority of the signs aren’t spotted until they are about 15. An example would be little Tommy stealing a light bulb from the neighbors. After being “corrected” doesn’t learn that stealing is wrong, but only that stealing a light bulb is bad. He’ll stop stealing light bulbs, but he won’t stop stealing. That’s a potential Spath. Sitting at the dinner table, garbing the best of everything, being the first to be served, (all the time), with no consideration for other family members, nor concern for missing family members is a good sign too.

Most,if not all, of the Sociopathic signs from the front page can be exhibited by age 5. I would just add ‘Continued after multiple corrections’ to the beginning of each line.
From the Front Page:
“Failure to conform to lawful social norms
Deceitfulness
Impulsivity or failure to plan ahead
Irritability and aggressiveness, as indicted by repeated
physical fights or assaults
Reckless disregard for safety of self or others
Consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure
to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial
obligations
Lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent about having
hurt, mistreated or stolen from another”
However, we as parents don’t want to believe our child is a Spath. However when these things cannot be corrected early on, they will always be there and a Spath is borne.

I don’t believe it’s been even experimented with yet, but I would hope that early identification and intervention might be able to help Spaths.

All that being said: The only way to deal with an Adult Spath is to RUN! Or better, not deal with them at all.

Even though there are fewer Female Spaths than Male Spaths, the Females seem to be more cunning, at least toward Males, than the Males are to males, and they can do more damage to one’s “life” than a Male Spath can do.

Finally, that email, sounds like a nearly direct quote some spath wrote in response to someone else here at Love Fraud

Just a Thought: I wonder what would happen if we could put a bunch of them on a desert island and let them Spath each other?

Cheers,
BuBu

4Light2shine

pattywack you make some good points. What a chasm between the lofty ideals held out in the scriptures and the reality of what those with no apparent conscience aspire to. Their day to day existence is in diametric opposition to the basic tenants of Christianity. Jmshort’s post was spot on. Those who have worked hard to develop their moral, ethical attributes are often targeted specifically. It makes sense then in a twisted way why some of them seem to be very religious. Notice I said Seem. Dr Martha Stout addressed how many hide in organizations, religious and otherwise. Mine is a haughty, defiant, pathological liar,she has no honor, has massive entitlement issues, never takes accountability for her actions, ect, that’s the real her. She also conducts many bible studies, devotes a large number of hours each month to her ministry, and even enjoys a designation given to “exemplary” ones. As Dr Stout puts it her act buys her a hat that says respectable. This is a powerful resource she can exploit, and trust me she does.

4light2shine,
Spaths like hiding in religion (sheep in wolves clothing)—
it’s like heavy camouflage!

fightforwhatsright

Yes, many spaths use religion and working in positions of authority over others to terrorize some people while fooling others.

There are many religions…not just one. And many of us are amazing, loving, caring, and people who do the right thing whom have no religion at all. I have dealt with many frightened and apathetic people of religion who will watch sociopaths terrorize others and do nothing while I have stood up to them and done the right thing.

4Light2shine

Hey FFWR – First thanks for the in depth comments about what spaths do to our brains and physiology. There’s a lot for me to digest there but I will revisit that post as needed. Next I have to agree, power and influence over people, narcissistic supply, ect. Religion or anything else, Using is what they do. These are resources to exploit. I see your point too about the people most would expect to step up and do the right thing are often not quite up to the task. Fear, utter cluelessness, under the spell of a sparkling spath, whatever the reason, they just aren’t there for you. If I’m claiming to be a spiritual person shouldn’t there be some evidence of it ? We all have the capacity for good inside of us. Hopefully whatever ideology, philosophy, or religion we embrace nurtures that humanity. So somebody had to step up and I guess it was you. I’ll join you FFWR. I don’t have a cape yet though, and my legs are way too skinny for tights so we’ll have to figure out my uniform …

fightforwhatsright

Thanks 4Light!

BuBu,
If we spatholated them like they like to do to us;and especially if we spatholated the spaths all together on a desert island,no doubt they would spath-exterminate!

fightforwhatsright

“Spath Island!” You need to call Brian Burnett. LOL!

Delores

What a glorious vision you planted in my mind’s eye with this.
Spatholate them to spath-extinction!

Jerry- While the ruthless ones will often get caught, the craftier ones may not. All humans, including those who are emotionally disturbed, are unique. Some are more slippery than others.

4Light2Shine- Thanks! Plagiarize away with my blessing! Hopefully, spreading the word about this travesty will enlighten those who would otherwise become victims. Unfortunately, we rarely learn from the mistakes of others. It’s more likely, however, that information can help someone heal and make sense of what happened to them.

BuBu- The Board of Ed deemed my son ED, emotionally disturbed, by age 14. By that time, he’d been asked to leave 2 schools. More followed. Although he had a private therapist and evidenced all the descriptions on your list,no one described him as “at-risk” for psychopathy. The turmoil of raising a child who looks perfectly normal on the surface, but behaves without the least caring for people around him (or her), consistently breaks rules and is totally untouched by rewards, punishment, consequences, reasoning or any form of intervention is heartbreaking.

It is abundantly important for parents to be well-informed about the possibility of this disorder occurring in their child and to recognize that if a very young child behaves in an incouragable fashion, they need specific, very nurturing help to develop caring toward others.

I believe the present school of thought by professionals in the field is that by 8 years old, a child’s code is well formed and they may be beyond intervention.

All human behavior can take many forms. If a child grew wings and could fly, we’d know there is something quite special about them. We can pretty readily identify signs of illness and intervene. ED kids simply misbehave in ways that are very human, so concerns about them don’t gel until there is a significant continuum of foulness, that exceeds what one envisions as normal. If there is one criteria that I could point to and say, this is an indication of the potential of psychopathy in a child, it would be the early-on diagnosis of oppositional-defiance. By the time a parent receives that diagnosis, the child’s character is well formed already and simply managing their behavior and keeping safe becomes the focus.

My son is the product of rape by fraud. When he aged, he found his father who had become extraordinarily wealthy and who spent the next few years blaming me for the fact that he’d abandoned him and failed to support him throughout his entire childhood.

Emotionally disturbed people do, in fact, gravitate to each other for support. One lies and the other swears to it! They form alliances that feed their acceptance of themselves and their rotten behavior.

Jm

Out of There

jm

I read your comments and could not agree with you more……..
Especially the last comment

“Emotionally disturbed people do, in fact, gravitate to each other for support. One lies and the other swears to it! They form alliances that feed their acceptance of themselves and their rotten behavior.”

This is the perfect example of the relationship that began many years ago between my daughter and her father, my now ex. They feed on each others lies and continually covered for each other. This behavior began when she was only about five years old.

My ex is a textbook psychopath and was diagnoised by a MD as having antisocial personality disorder. I was told of his disorder at the end of my horrific marriage. Our daughter began her “training” from her father at a very young age. By the time I finally left the marriage, she fully mastered her art of lying with the backup and assistance from her father.

I will always love her, and pray for her daily. I am so grateful that I am divorced and away from my ex. Unfortunately it came at a cost. I have not seen our daughter since my divorce. I am accepting that part of my life. It is definitely for the good. Perhaps someday I will see her again. This was her choice, not mine.

I continue to be fearful that my ex will come after me, as he has threatened me, broken restraining orders, hired a PI to find me even after I moved several times. I will always be looking over my shoulder for the rest of his life.

My response to all of you who are going through the initial stages of leaving these very disturbed individuals, is get some help with a very good counselor and PRAY and PRAY because al is possible with God. He has taken me through some of the most difficult and dark days and I am alive to help and comfort those who are where I once was. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Peace and happiness will come.

Tea Light

Thank you for these comforting words of support out of there, God bless you as you move forward in your recovery.

4Light2shine

Jm and Out interesting comments regarding disturbed individuals gravitating to each other. I have noticed that mine seems to be a magnet for other unethical, delusional people. I’ve seen the alliances with her paramours, and how those who are more libertarian, or support her platform covertly are all loosely connected. And yes like both of your stories I’m the mentally off grudge holder who doesn’t know how to love. Their lying, slandering, selfishness, ect. aren’t the problem, I am. Fascinating. The only constant unchangeable feature is I loose. They win. Got it . Thanks.

lost everything

I have 10s of thousands of emails, from several accounts, (don’t know if I or my IT man found them all), thousands of texts, posts, blogs to and from the latespath. Do I have everything he wrote in 5 years and 3 months; no, I am sure that some were deleted either on purpose or accidentally.

Informative, yes. but it’s akin to realizing that the person you knew, but never really did, was more like fictional characters Alex Forrest, Hannibal Lechter, Not real at all, The best that can be said was that he chose Frank Abagnale as a role model. Chilling, but the shivers never stop.

The latespath was superior to others by anyone’s standard, at least in term of intelligence; his IQ was 180+. He knew how to use his academic abilities to get away with the little things, he considered a waste of his time. Teachers and professors would give him a pass if he didn’t do an assignment, telling him that even without that grade, he would still get an A. Co workers and bosses never pushed him to complete a brief, an answer, etc and would let him get an adjournment because they knew he wrote better then they. He never lost a case.

Me, well I never questioned why he didn’t have any friends, believing that everyone else was jealous of his intelligence.

He even used his academic prowess to reel in escorts: “As for your essay for Rome … I’ll have that to you by tonight (my time) so you can send it off Monday morning (your time). Luv you, del”. (Sent: 6/1/2008 8:15:12 AM; that’s 28 years and a few days since he last attended school)

Everyone that appreciated his brain, became someone that he could eventually use for something..

He never respected the fact that people appreciated his academic prowess. If someone complimented his abilities, he would whisper, they have to look up to me, because they know they can’t do it themselves. I often wonder if he offered to help someone and in doing so, purposely screwed up. Not with a paper or something that the person could directly come back to him on; rather in showing someone how to do something and them blaming them for not understanding his instructions, when they called him on it. After all, if they were smart like him, they wouldn’t need help.

The latespath often told escorts and johns, that he never had to worry about me, as I had made myself responsible for taking care of my now blind mother. Of course he never told them we had no marriage since 1986. Half truths are very important tools for the success of spaths.

I knew that the latespath had no emotions or at least never showed them. I was use to that with my mother. Being the victim of childhood sexual abuse, she built defensive barriers, never allowing herself to be vulnerable again. Show of feelings allow you to be exposed. She would always tell me ladies don’t cry, yell, argue; never make a public spectacle of themselves. In my mind, I saw a hurt little boy, the only one who didn’t know his father (life was different in the early 60s)
.

Spaths are master illusionists, making sure their marked audience only sees what they direct them to.

He knew I cried, he knew I became attached to things, movies, people, and on and on, and he used this knowledge to make my life hell. Now I can see that he derived a perverse satisfaction in taking, monetarily worthless things that belonged to me, newspapers clippings, yearbook, pictures and holding a cigarette to them in front of me. Watching me beg and cry, while telling me, they belonged in the past, who cared about them, why should I.

Spaths believe they deserve only the best, in my case, my family’s money; note, nothing at all was in my name.

While spaths exploit everyone and everything they can, and believe that they are above all; they are aware that there are rules/laws out there. The latespath was well aware of what he was doing and did everything in his power to conceal it.; all be it different things from different people. He got the brokerage to send estatements to his email account and perfected forging paper statements and envelopes to send to the house; statements which showed everything as it should be, if he wasn’t stealing. He got the broker to change the phone number on the account to his cell phone from my mother’s house phone. A cell phone which he described as ” only he answers, if he can’t it goes to voice mail, locked when he is not available, and no one but him knows the password”.

One thing he couldn’t control was my mother’s health and he needed he alive. He texted to EscortC “Okay. So in a nutsehll, my life has been crazy for the last 3 days – my “other” life. The mother-in-law hjas been in hospital. As I have often said, her kicking the bucket will affect “both” my lives I ways that I cannot fully imagine. Fortunatly, it does not look like that day has come yet. Whew!”. He knew that if my mom died, I would administer her estate and in doing so, all of his crimes would be exposed. As long as she was alive, everything was status quo. He could control.

As for the broker, the latespath started to feel him out in spring of 2001. Once he found out the broker was willing to talk to him, although the broker had no right to, as his name was not on the account nor did he have any account with the brokerage, he made his first in road. The mark was his. He didn’t fully begin to implement his scheme until the day after my mother was diagnosed as blind in fall 2002. Actually the very next day. More faxes to the broker, more phone calls. As my mom needed more and more surgeries, and medical treatment, he got more brazen. At first he stole a check here and there and sent his first forged statements; a test to see if he would be caught. A year later he manged to get the broker to give him a form, that I was to find out by several sources, that the brokerage allow only to be given to the account holder and only at the request of the account holder. Yes, I found a signed ‘account holder’ copy hidden in the basement ceiling. By fall of 2003 the fraud and forgeries were in place.

All the broker had to do was follow the rules and none of this scenario would have ever happened. As the firm posted on the internet, for the public to see: “Protecting the confidentiality and security of client information is an important part of how we conduct our business”.

The latespath was that good, that he got a man with 30 plus experience in the stock sector, a senior level broker in an internationally respected brokerage, a man to which he had no ties, personal or business-wise, to forget that his first duty was to protect my mother and her money; to keep her finances private. My parents were many decades long, clients of this brokerage.

Again the half truths: he described himself in the escorting world as ” gainfully unemployed in the field of computer security”. He was unemployed but stealing plenty of money; computer security, sure he had to make sure that his crimes were well hidden on the computer.

Did the latespath ever feel any guilt about the theft, no. Did he ever feel any guilt about spending over a million dollars of the stolen money on escorting, no. Did he ever feel any guilt about telling the ‘girls and guys’ about me, my family, pets, no. Did he ever feel any guilt about making sure he was here every night after his day of crime and sex, no. Did he feel guilt about what his fraud and forgeries could potentially do to the previously spotless professional record of the broker, no. Did he feel guilt about how his criminal and sordid lifestyle would effect his 80 year old mother, no.

“Successful” sociopaths are not stupid. They are aware of what they need to do to keep their dark lives, in the dark. After EscortM died, the latespath was not shy about needing a new 9 to 5 apartment in Manhattan. People in the escorting world didn’t understand why this guy, who was throwing around thousands and thousands a week, was ‘openly’, at least in that sub-world, paying for EscortM’s luxury place, just didn’t get another one. While not willing to publicly post his reasons, he did not hesitate in say in emails:”I have no problem with cash, but I can not have my name appear on anything. I must avoid that at all costs”.

He posted that he feels no guilt, that the escorting keeps him grounded, never mentioning that he stole the money to allow him to live the escorting life.

We know they have no conscience. In the last week of his loathsome, pernicious, perfidious, insidious life, the latespath committed the most nefarious, opprobrious, execrable, rape imaginable to me. NOTE: I use the word ‘rape’ as having the definition of ‘an outrageous violation’ and no I can not find enough words to describe him.

Rape, why, because what he took is irreplaceable, he had no permission to even touch it, and it was well hidden in several places, not in plain sight advertising to be stolen. The pain of this action I feel every day. I can not deal with the fact that I could not bury my mother with her crucifix and wedding band; that my son can not give a future wife my mother’s engagement ring which she wanted him to do; that a high school ring, a boy gave me for safe keeping before he went to Viet Nam, is no longer there to remember this fella on his birthday; that the pin and ankle bracelet my sweetie gave me for my 16th is gone; that I can’t deliver on my promise to my dad that my son will have his jewelry. I get up many mornings planning what to wear and what jewelry will go with it and then realize there is no jewelry. My daymares are much worse than my nightmares.

While he had stolen and spent over a million dollars, that was not enough evil for him. In the last week of his life he stole every bit of jewelry in the house. He didn’t do for access to more money as there was still over $750.000.00 left in my mother’s stock account. He didn’t need the jewelry per se, if he wanted to give the ‘girlies’ gifts, he could have bought them new things; Manhattan has 2 great jewelry districts and he was not a stranger to Tiffany. While the jewelry was worth around $200.000.00, he could have bought much more expensive things. He had no reason to out and out steal the jewelry, other than to inflict pain and deprive my family of tangible pieces of my and their past and my son’s future. As far as my son goes, the latespath was nothing more than a sperm donor, never a father, let alone a dad.

Money is money, one $100.00 bill is just like another, fungible. My dad’s school ring from the 40s, that he wore every day and died with is unique; jewelry brought from Europe in the teens by my grandmother who died before I was born is my only link to her and the past; the ring my dad bought for my mother when he became very ill; graduation presents; birthday presents; charms; crosses; every piece has memories and a story. Nothing can replace them. No, he bought none of it, he bought me an engagement ring for $227.00 in 1974; that was the only piece I ever got from him. He flushed that ring down the toilet, yes really, in 1985 during a fight over divorce.

The damage he did while alive was not enough, he had to insure I had to feel pain forever.

Did he need to steal for survival, NO! He choose to steal because he found away to get away with it.

Did stealing get him more money than he could have earned had he been responsible, NO! Fresh out of law school in 1980 his salary was $35,000.00 plus all sorts of benefits. With his academic abilities, staying on track, he could have easily been earning a million plus a year. But of course he was too good to work.

Did he have to stay married to me, NO. After his abortion comment in August 1980, I was amenable and have been actively wanting one since 1986.

Did he have to become active in the sub-world of sex for money. NO. Real people ask questions, have feelings, care about others, and are speak out; escorting is a world of no questions fantasy, and silence.

His last words to me were the most telling of the mind set of a sociopath: “It’s all your fault”.

4Light2shine

Hello Lost Everything. I’ve read your posts before and found them horrific but educational. My experiences honestly seem trivial when compared with the magnitude of what you have had to deal with. I know it’s cathartic to write, to get it out. From an educational standpoint I would think your perspective coupled with all the emails, documents, ect, would be a treasure trove for someone doing clinical research. Have you written a book ? Your strength in surviving the sustained onslaught of evil is almost unbelievable. Hopefully you can begin to have some peace in your live even amongst the wreckage. Remember also that even though he took all those tangible things away from you and you can’t hold them in your hand those precious gifts and memories are still inside of you and you just shared them with us. Those most precious moments in your life he couldn’t take away or even touch.

Delores

It is incomprehensible if you have not experienced it. I thought I had escaped with minor injuries in 1975. He had other wives and step-children to keep him away from us. But we are never free. He came back thirty years later and targeted my children and grandchildren…just because he could. Even if he died I would not be free because he would be the unholy martyr in his disguise of respectibility.

JessicaR

If sociopaths are evolutions next step; then I wonder if he can explain why evolution responded with people who share the same traits as sociopaths, in many ways, except they are on the opposite end of the spectrum in regard to feelings. It’s not the way we were intended to be so I don’t believe this is evolution’s answer but more or less biology he needs to overcome. He assumes that a sociopath can fulfill what is missing within me but I am fulfilled. I want things but I don’t need anything. He is the empty vessel looking for something to be filled but he has no possible idea what he is missing. He has no concept of what it feels like to be loved or to truly love another and that to me is sad and such a loss. The connection we get from others is powerful, and he doesn’t know it. He will never experience it for himself. He views his life as something I should aspire to but I view his life as torturous and empty. I’m far from impressed. He has to know that he is never content and constantly searching to fill a void with sex, power, drugs, money, etc. I don’t understand why sociopaths don’t use their intelligence to guide them to control their psychopathy and conform to social norms. I know some don’t think they should have to conform to our ideas but even if they aren’t conforming to our social norms they are still conforming to the sociopathic stereotypes. If I were a sociopath I would want to train myself to feel, I would want to prove that I am smart enough to learn how to function without hurting myself or others. I also view his inability to share his strategies as an indication that he is not truly confident in his abilities or as up for a challenge as he taunts.

fightforwhatsright

JessicaR: I love your post. The part about Sociopaths actually being cookie-cutter people who fit into Sociopath “norms” is amazingly insightful. Their norms are sub-human and truly devolved – not evolved as this spath wants to tell himself. Evolved people have higher levels of intuition, empathy, a high EQ (Emotional Quotient), etc. Sociopaths can not even take care of themselves. They are like feral monkeys pretending to be humans in their devolved drive to get the closest human to meet their base animal instinct needs. Whole humans like us go to wonderful websites like lovefraud and help, educate, and inform other whole, kind, evolved humans. Thank you for you “take” on this. I truly needed to read what you wrote today.

JessicaR

FFWR – You are very welcome; I am glad I could help. I completely agree with you that evolved humans have higher levels of intuition, empathy, and high EQ’s.

NotWhatHeSaidofMe

I’ve gone over and over the logic of these type of statements from a sociopath.

My conclusion:
Since a sociopath has to hide their true nature in order to get anyone to follow them, then clearly a false self is superior to their real self. In other words, they know that a non-existent made up person is superior to their being real, honest, truthful about who they are. Sociopaths refine their duping skills, but they never learn what it means to be fully human. The inability to evolve to a full range of humanity is NOT evolution, it is a flaw.

fightforwhatsright

TSTS: I guess it is like the cartoon frog who knows if it can just find the right human to kiss it, it will be a prince/princess someday….when it will really just be a frog who left a frog smell on the lips of a real human! I have the “opportunity” to observe a spath regularly. She sees a prince and I smell a frog. I am learning to keep him away from my pond and flower garden….If I detach from him, it is like observing a devolved man just like the moron who wrote about himself in this article. You would think they would at least be intelligent, or curious, enough to read a lot of the posts here and know that they have twin monkeys and frogs all over the world….people exactly like them. They are not special in any way. They all have the same handbook and do all of the same things and think the same way.

Mine got home from the hospital yesterday. I got him home, helped with some things. Checked on him and mentioned that if he wanted more pain medication from the VA, I would have to take him today. I did not want to. I was being kind. But, I made it clear that I had rearranged some things and could only do it today. He called and told me today that he had called the VA and was ready to go. I said, “OK.” I then began telling him about another situation causing me to have to work around getting him there. He said, “Well, whatever you want to do. I don’t want to get into all that.” (In other words, “what you need to do and how you have to finagle YOUR things to do what I want, means nothing to me.”) I said, “Well, what I want to do is not go and get your medicine. I am tired. I am the one doing you a favor and I don’t WANT to do it.” He said, “I just didn’t care about all of that other stuff!” And I said, “I don’t really CARE about your stuff either. I am just a nice human being.” He then began to yell, “Just do whatever you want.” A rage was going to ensue and I don’t tolerate those any more. I hung up. THAT is exactly what I wanted to do and I did it. It felt so good. He called two hours later sounding like a half-way decent impression of a human! He left a message saying, “I’m taking a nap. Have a good day.” LOL! News flash. Didn’t care, foster monkey.

He has just enough pain medication for the next couple of days. It’s a lot better for me for him to be on that walker as long as possible…forever even. He has been quite docile having to use that walker…to walk out and smoke cigarettes while waiting for a second surgery to repair a femur shattered by bone cancer. I then called a friend. Had a nice conversation, and am about to go give the spath today’s pain pills and make myself some lunch. Yes. Just “doing what I want!” I hope he is enjoying his advanced evolution as the moron spath wrote in the article. HA!

lost everything

The sociopaths have cookie cutter ‘red flags’, traits. I don’t believe they are cookie cutter individuals. How they use these traits vary from one to the other. That’s what makes them so hard to spot. It would be great if they had a big red ‘S’ tattooed on their foreheads, but they don’t.

I say this based on the reactions of the people in the brokerage. I am sure that in their 80 year history, the company has had many people that tried to ‘rip off’ their business or the businesses’ clients through them.

An important point, from their side, they raised was if the latespath was lying, why would he come into their offices. People that are looking to pull a scam, just don’t walk into the business looking and dressed as shabbily as the latespath was. They contended that outward appearances are how people are initially judged and the latespath didn’t present himself as a ‘swell’ (yes they used that word)so there was nothing for them to be suspicious of.

As far as developing emotions, they or at least the latespath, know their limit. I am paraphrasing a quote from him posted on a ‘pay for play’ board. (note, I can not post the direct quote because this particular board contends that all member postings are the property of the board not the individual poster) The latespath said ‘I don’t want to have a relationship that requires any obligations on me emotionally, above what I know I can deal with. Sex for money, I can deal with’.

That does not mean they are incapable of emulating, aping, what the world in general expects of them in terms of emotions. “Good” spaths have this down pat. When EscortM died he knew exactly what was expected of him in terms of behavior and more important how to use these expected actions to his advantage.

One of the most telling posts, that show the Oscar winning acting prowess the latespath had, was written by a fellow john, he knew for years in the escorting world, when he died. (again paraphrased for the above reason)’He loved EscortM so much, I have never seen love like that. He was earnestly mourning her passing a year after she died. I hoped he could let go, but he couldn’t’.

Reality, the latespath was trolling other escort sites 2 days after EscortM was buried, setting up appointments within the week. What he was missing was the 9 to 5 apartment: ‘Now I’ve got to find myself a new apartment in midtown. Just a studio – but I can’t be without a place – I’ve gotten too used to it.’ Written about a month after her death. Finding another malleable target that was willing to go along with his financial crimes was not so easy.

lost everything

“I feel no guilt”. I believe that is one of the most telling things the latespath ever wrote. Simple, concise and more important, letting us see the way they view their interactions with the world. They see themselves as having no moral responsibility toward anything, let alone anyone.

lost everything

Thank you 4Light, First let me say that no one’s experience with a sociopath is ever trivial or without damage. If I knew what was happening, my ‘scars’ wouldn’t be so deep, but they would still be there.

The 70s were a very different time and place than the world today. It was a time when silence still ruled. If you needed help with any type of relationships, at least in my world, you went to see the parish priest or maybe a nun. Professional metal health experts were for people ‘who used a hose to clean the inside of their homes’. The lady who lived next door to us had a tragedy happen to her; in the 1940s it appears to have been a common practice to leave a sleeping infant in a carriage outdoors when your other children were playing. Someone passing by her home carelessly tossed a cigarette and it landed in the carriage and her baby son burned to death. She needed hospitalization to cope. Through the late 70s when my parents moved, most people referred to this woman as ‘the crazy lady’. She acted perfectly normal, dressed well, and her other 3 children were well taken care of, but because she didn’t have the ability to deal with losing a child on her own, she was still labeled almost 40 years later.

Women did not talk about getting hit or yelled at. My parents had a really great relationship, that was my role model. I had no idea what to do when the physical abuse started during the last semester of law school. I was too ashamed to even talk about it as I had begged and pleaded with my parents to help with law school expenses.

The put downs just became part of life because of his academics, yes his brain was an excuse for anything. The word and mind games were much more damaging than the physical.

Where did one turn for information? To a psychology professor that you didn’t know, to ‘out’ yourself to a librarian, Women’s Studies programs were in their infancy, at best. No computers! The only ‘internet’ I knew about was a dedicated computer in the law school that allowed for accessing cases and citations called ‘Lexis’.

I really had no idea what a sociopath was, other than in context with movies or headlines. It was a forensic psychologist that diagnosed the latespath during the course of the ‘lawsuit from hell’.

Other than my high school sweetie, my therapist, and my ‘good’ law firm, there is no one to talk to. The internet has been a blessing for me, this site in particular. I don’t feel like a ‘freak’, an outsider here or someone to be pitied. I am just one of the people. When I type and hit the ‘submit button’, it’s like boulder gone.

The book. The first person that suggested I write was the Surrogate who told me ‘he died with nothing, he stole everything, but he left you a story; use it’. I brought the subject up with my therapist and he told me to write. Well I wrote him hundreds of pages, which he read. As a former professor and published himself, he told me ‘great story, sellable, but absolute crap’. I was coming to him, after having written, feeling even more frustrated and down-trodden. I was hurt. Instead of using writing as a ‘release’, I was becoming more sucked in. He then explained to me that there is no way I can write anything about the escorting world having never been in it and leaving ‘ME’ out. That I had re-find myself first. Lovefraud is such a great place because it allows me to focus on one thing at a time, rather than being caught up is a morass that keeps sucking me further and further in. Being here helps me to organize. One thing at a time, one step at a time.

I don’t know if I want to write a book anymore. I do know that I want to regain myself.

If I do eventually decide to formally write, this email from an escort to the latespath is what will push me:”yours always so bloody smart Del, why dont you write a book from the other side ….punter side”.

If they thought he was good enough to write, maybe some day I will have enough confidence to.

Wouldn’t a ‘wifey’ writing about ‘their life’ be a shock to the escorting world!

Tea Light

Hi Lost, saddened to hear your therapist took it upon himself to judge and critique your writing, which at that point must surely have been a therapeutic exercise, not a draft of a book intended for commercial publication! I don’t know whether, in the round, you feel positively towards this therapist , perhaps you do. It seems harsh and misguided, to me, and rather egocentric, to refer to you pouring out your traumatic discoveries of your sociopathic husband’s secret life as a john and then a pimp as ” crap”.

Great to have you here Lost and so glad you find relief from posting, as so many of us do.

lost everything

I was so out of touch with any emotions, it didn’t bother me. I have not cried in over 20 years. All I wanted to do at the time, this was more than 3 years ago, was write a book. I did not even consider that seeing a therapist was for my getting better, who me need help, never; rather just a way to write a book and this professional was going to help me do it, write it for me. I was new to psychology as a whole, I only took the one required class in college; and the doctor didn’t know me. Actually I went to see him on the recommendation of a paralegal who was afraid I was ‘holding up too good’.

I didn’t see the part the broker played in all of it; I didn’t see the latespath as a disturbed individual, rather an ‘crazy’ person, a thief who was consumed by sex; I didn’t see me at all.

Writing does not come easy to me. I sometimes spend hours thinking about the point raised on Lovefraud and more time planning my answer. I never feel it’s good enough. I would make a lousy reporter.

I paid dearly for my writing short comings during the lawsuit. I kept getting asked where was my diary detailing my mother’s medicals; where were my notes outlining my relationship with the latespath. There weren’t any. I never wrote. I have a very good memory, my lawyers were astounded that my mental recalls matched my mother’s doctor’s notes one for one. People want documentation.

I have come to realize that just taking someone’s writings and gluing them together, is not a book. I had to learn what happened and to the best of my abilities, why and how. I have learned all about escorting, how stock bokerages operate, and I am now learning about sociopathy.

I still hurt; writing about the betrayals by so many people, makes me ill, even after all these years. Sometimes I write something, reread it, get sick to my stomach, and don’t go back to the computer for a day.

On the other hand, writing is the release I need to get whole. It forces me to see the reality of the damage a sociopath can do. It shoves it down my throat. It makes sure that I can not put blinders on. Until I can face it, I will never get past the sociopath.

I learn so much, everyday, from everyone here.

Submit button is all empowering!

fightforwhatsright

Hi lost:

I lost my ability to cry for many, many years. That is actually a sign of PTSD for some people. Dr. Peter Levine discussed it in one of his books and it made me recognize it was part of my PTSD. I began trying to cry and it was not easy. I asked a couple of people if I could cry on the phone to them because I absolutely could not cry alone. Even when I watched sad movies all day long….nothing. I went to a calm, female therapist and worked on different trauma treatments. I called the people to cry. They basically agreed to be my crying coaches. One of them is the spath I talk about here. At that time, he was wanting to move to my property and “acted” like he thought he should act and I felt safe. Now, I only feel safe crying to my ex-husband most of the time. I had to work at this since 2009 when I realized I had not mourned many serious things. Now, I can cry by myself for my grieving a lot more than I could before. I don’t always have to have my crying coach.

I went through a situation that was a national story. It was a devastation. People told me I should write a book. One even knew an editor in NY. She had just taken a job as a non fiction agent and when I called and told her my story, she said, “Write the book.” I wrote a book. I submitted it. She liked it and asked for some changes…then as I was working on the changes, she decided to become a fiction editor again. She told me if I wanted to write fiction to let her know. I was so distraught, I didn’t even take her up on it! I stayed working in a dangerous situation determined to WARN all I could about what I knew about this dangerous event and how it could easily happen again if I didn’t keep warning and warning. I wanted my book to inform and warn people. Fiction? I didn’t have time for fiction. I needed to be Paul Revere in my terrorized brain.

I just got worse and worse. I tried to keep a job where everyone either hated me for telling the truth about what they were doing or were scared of me. I was lied about, called into bogus meetings, and cried all the way to and from work every day. I not only had no support at home. I had abuse and irritation at ME for recognizing that I had to do something that was right – not easy and not catering to narcissists and sociopaths.

I became obsessed. I studied every single detail of the disastrous event and its participants. I studied and studied and studied something that had already done great harm to my brain. I finally had to put the book away. I finally had to put hundreds of emails of “proof” away. I finally had to put 10 boxes of “evidence” away.

I had to work on MY health. I am not anyone who was ever in charge of saving the world. Others were charged with that and they failed miserably even when I warned them and gave them evidence months before.

I haven’t looked at the book, the evidence, ANYTHING about it for over 3 years now. I had to hide it away and work at not telling everyone about it to save myself. What your therapist did to you was use your writings to get his jollies. You need a therapist who will listen to your past story when needed, but who will guide you into a future where you refocus yourself more and more. The dirty, disgusting, ugly escort business will eat your brain alive if you don’t put it in a box and get to a good therapist who cares about your future survival, you getting your feelings back, and you being able to cry.

Please accept this as a suggestion to consider. I know you have to get it all out here and that is what this place is for. I am afraid to talk about mine now and I may always be afraid to talk about it. My life was threatened by numerous people. I have been told by serious people in charge of our security that I could be in danger for the rest of my life. So, unless I feel a little safe here and decide to share a small portion of it someday, I just have to know what I know and keep it all in the boxes in closets and under beds until one day I decide to shred 90% of it and keep the rest for my nieces and nephews to find after I’m gone.

Every post here submitted by a victim is exactly perfect. This is one of the safest sites I have ever visited. Donna means business when she protects victims of sociopaths here. But, we also have to learn to protect ourselves. Not crying is devastating to your health. You are holding in toxins. I am very worried about the numbness you are experiencing because I have been there. We try to be tough for so long until we can’t even cry like a human being should.

I hope you will use this forum for a safe group therapy. But, I also hope that you will call around and find the best trauma therapist (female) on your insurance list and make an appointment. I have done the memorizing of dates, people, places, unscrupulous events, warning signs only I could see, apathy, lying, money traded for illegal activities, culminating in a national disaster that could have been prevented. It rarely leaves my mind. But, I have learned how to cry again. I have learned how to open up my brain an inch and have just started thinking about what I want my future to look like. I refuse to look at those boxes or that book until I am ready and that will probably be a long time. I have most of it memorized anyway!

Please consider what I am saying. Back away from the need to know the deep, dark part of all of what has happened. Start to go towards YOU and as you continue to tell us about what you have been through. It is helpful that you have warned us about what spaths who are sex addicts do. However, at what cost to you to pour over all of it all of the time? I know the feeling of telling and warning and knowing and wanting everyone else to know. But, there comes a time when you have to know what you know and get yourself and your feelings back about you. There comes a time to cry for yourself…even if it takes years to accomplish that. Please Start ASAP.

lost everything

Hi FF, I am thinking on your post, get back to you as soon as I can process it all. Thanks and hugs

lost everything

Hi FF, I really needed some time to digest your words and see them in my life.

If you think I am obsessed now, you should have known me from the day after the latespath died. I was completely consumed. That lasted almost 4 years. I did nothing but research every free moment.

Believe it or not I have not slept, like a normal person, since the day my mom fell in 2002. While my mom fell in late morning and I took her directly to the hospital ER, an ortho didn’t see her until several hours later and then he decided to do surgery; the hospital kept her in over night. So that night, the not sleeping was just nerves on my part. The following night I put a lounge chair in her bedroom and in case she needed something. 2 days later she couldn’t see and the next day she was diagnosed as blind. Sleeping on and off as she underwent surgery after surgery; in over 6 1/2 years she had 18 surgeries. Majority eye procedures, along the line she had several more ortho surgeries as well. She could not be left alone and would not respond to anyone other than my son, myself and only 2 doctors and one PT. The one time my son and I had go upstairs to check on leaking water, we left my mother sitting at the kitchen table listening to the TV. Just prior to the water incident, we were talking about painting the deck. My son and I were upstairs, about 15 minutes, and when we came down, my mother was no where to be found; seems she decided to go done the basement to find paint. On the way she closed the basement door behind her and fell down 6 stairs to the landing.After a few minutes I opened the basement door and she was laying there; 2 broken arms, gash on her head, re-injury to her hip. 3 1/2 month hospital and rehab stay. Of course no one in the rehab center could be bothered tending to a blind woman who did not talk to them, the had demanding patients. I had to be there 3 times a day to feed her and wash her and tend to her needs; with 2 broken arms no one can do anything for themselves.
When I say my mother never talked to anyone, I mean it. Along the line; her GP suggested that I take her to a geriatric psychiatrist, in the hopes that maybe he could get her to loosen up a bit. That went well, my son and I brought her and when we got into the doctor’s office and he began to just talk to her, my mother’s response was to tell me to answer him, she didn’t feel she needed to. It didn’t surprise me, as my mother was was never a talker, she was the most private person I knew.

I learned to take sleep as it came.

So in addition to the latespath, I had to deal with the house, something I had no experience at, my mom and her needs, her medications, shop, cook and clean. The pets were and are my escape.

The blind institute sent people over, as did the visiting nurses, but my mother just threw them out as she never wanted anyone in her house. She behaved no different after losing her sight as before.

In addition to all of this, she never recovered from the severe depression of losing my father in 1998.

Like the latespath said:”life changing crisis, for which he ever so thankful for”.

I am getting better now. I am sleeping on a bed for at least 6 hours at a time. I no longer need meds, just the occasional Tylenol PM. I have learned not to fear sleep. There are still many things that I fear, and I have to deal with.

More to come

fightforwhatsright

Hi lost:

I want to make sure you know that I was being critical at all…only trying to share what I am trying to do to “come down” from a lot. It does take a long, long time. It took me around 11 years after the ultimate trauma attack on my brain for me to fully realize that I could even get better at all.

I have the sleep issues also and hate to sleep at night. I need a sound machine all the bedroom door locked and ear plugs and medicine before I can even consider going to bed. If my nightmares increase, I will put off going to bed for way too long.

I also understand the family crisis issues…I am in one of those families where everyone who knows any of us says, “I can’t believe all of these horrific things keep happening to you.” I often wonder if people like us just have crazy things happen to us and we are all the same “type” of personality gathered here. It seems like we all have many of the same events, people, crisis, medical conditions, etc. Just like the sociopaths seem to have the same handbook and share many of the traits.

I am so glad you have shared here and know that it is very healing. I know I am still obsessed in too many ways. I guess I was just worried about you and wanted to share that I have been working on the option of keeping the stuff of nightmares in boxes and trying super hard to fill my brain with things that I hope will heal any parts of my brain that can be healed.

I am so sorry that you have to be alert at all times to take care of your mother. You have had a lot of trauma. I am also sorry you lost your pet and I hope that what you release here will help you cry about the many things that have happened to you. I am thinking of you right now and am sending a moment of peace your way.

lost everything

Thank you so much for caring. I don’t know how to react, my eyes want to cry. I’ll just send hugs. I am taking a break for tonight.

fightforwhatsright

If your eyes want to cry, that is good. This is going to take a long time. Your brain is going to have to learn to give your eyes permission. I got some of my best pre crying advice from a book about intuition by Judith Orloff. If you start reading books about healing you, you will get there. I never thought I would and I have. I can cry, lost. It is still uncomfortable, but it is the right thing for my mind and body.

Delores

please save that documentation. I burned the “love” letters from Viet Nam because they made me sick at my stomach. No one knew what a psychopath was back then and I needed to purge. Later, I wished I had them to show the attempts to feign positive regard interspersed with the other spath garbage. Each one slimed me more than the previous one. And I thought I was supposed to tie them up in a pretty ribbon for keepsakes. Nope, I burned them.

Barb

“Lost Everything”

What a tragedy about the baby being burned to death. In the 1950s we were not concerned about leaving our doors locked (cars or homes) either. And tossing a cigarette carelessly like that, with a baby carriage in full view (possibly), was complete disregard for any consequences. I grew up in the 1950s. There was hardly any “awareness” about anything. Thank God for the “rockin’ sixties”!

Horrendous tragedy and that poor woman. And what ignorance referring to that mother as the “crazy lady”.

A similar thing happened to my parents’ at their home. A large rock was thrown through their living room window, shattering glass all over the carpet and causing everyone to leave their beds (it was 3 a.m.) and race to the room to see what happened. I remember it like it was yesterday. Unfortunately I have a perfectly sound idea of who tossed that rock…one of my sociopath’s ‘cronies’ (she could get anyone to do anything…except my siblings who saw through her from Day One).

I, unfortunately, did not have that kind of insight. The thing that haunts me about the incident is what if my sister’s baby was in a bassinet in that room when the rock was tossed? The rock could have crushed his skull. We had many people staying over that night and my sister often slept in the living room where there was a pull-out ‘sleeper couch’. What if the baby and/or my sister died as a result of this heinous act?

The evid of sociopathy knows no bounds and wants power over anything else. Cross their path and they will ‘cross you out’.

Tea Light

Lost, about you feeling your posts are never good enough, there’s no judges or critics here, just we survivors, talking and supporting each other and taking it one day at a time. I went through a stage in adolescence, years, of never crying, it was from fear that if I started I would never stop. What I learned from my experiences with my abuser is that the tears release a great deal of tension and allowing myself to cry when I want and need to is necessary to my healing. It’s not pretty, but it helps bring peace mentally and a physical release of tension. And it does stop, too, so Lost, if you want and need to, know that it’s natural, it helps, and it does stop. Love to you.

lost everything

Hugs, Tea. I need to cry for my mother, for my dog.

Barb

I have noticed that I did not have the “notify me of followup comments via email” box checked off…I would love comments to my posts and always try to communicate with some of yours.

“SUBMIT COMMENT” with “Notify me of followup comments via email” is now activated.

Thank you,

Babs

fightforwhatsright

It also took me a while to find the “notify” box at the bottom. Maybe when people tell us their new, we should try to let them know about that.

imhope

1. Sociopaths are superior beings, and everyone else is a mark.
a. Truth is, they are low life scum, however superior to themselves.
b. Most of us would rather be a “mark” than a scum.

2. If marks are dumb enough to be conned, they get what they deserve.
a. And we thank them for the education and ability to become more deserving.
b. Eventually, spaths will too, get what they deserve.

3. Marks deserve to be targeted because of their stupid emotions and consciences.
a. There are none so emotional as a spath being caught at his game or told NO!
b. If consciences are so worthless, why to spaths pretend to have one?

4. Emotions and consciences are useful in marks, because they can be exploited.
a. Spaths emotions are fun to mock.
b. Their consciences can’t be mocked, they don’t have them. See 3b.

5. Exploitation is a perfectly reasonable way for sociopaths to get what they want.
a. Spaths can dish it out, but they sure can’t take it.

Sorry, just had to rebutt! Yes, that sounds just like a spath. So funny when they think they might be getting revealed, they are so sensitive to ridicule or public exposure…they too have weaknesses. My biggest problem with spaths is their ability to make puppets of so many people. It sickens me to watch them manipulate others into doing their dirty work and defending them. The world is their stage and everyone in it is their puppet, uurrgghh! I find that one way they manage to keep others from warning the world about them is that they make the world think their victims are psychopaths. Like when my exspath threatned to kill me and my dogs, i called, the cops, when they got there is was enraged, he was as cool as a cucumber. He took them outside and told them i had mental problems. They told me “well, it’s you that is angry and raising your voice”. Uh, yeah…his life wasn’t threatened, he has no reason to be angry! When it’s all said and done and you tell others your story, then you are obsessed and they calmly have “moved on”. What’s hard to get across is that your situation was with a dangerous spath, you have PTSD, spath has a new victim and is off and running like you never existed, so you are the one that’s left looking like a nut case. People have heard plenty of stories from disgruntled ex spouses, they don’t realize that your case really IS different and that for their own well being they should listen carefully to what you have to say…sound familiar?

Renee

Barb

IMHOPE: great! Put them in their place, Immy. Everything to a spath is manipulate-able (my choice of a word).

I am afraid my father may have been one…or at least a narcissist. My mother was no peach either. Their claim to ‘love’ us was based on their ‘need’ for us. If it suited their purposes they would damage us to the point where leaving them was extremely difficult. They bought us things but there was nothing in my life with them that suggested they had any interest in who I was, my thoughts or ideas, or reason to be a separate entity from them. The ridicule was subtle and unrelenting. The result is that I have a miserable life (except for my pets and husband) and my ability to keep jobs is always at risk.

The work place is one of the worse places (actually, the absolute worst) to experience sociopathy. I worked with people who could convince others, including bosses, that I was unredeemable. I was isolated and people avoided me like the plague. That is the worst part about spaths. They are extremely capable of turning the tables on you.

fightforwhatsright

I am continuing to read the book about “successful” psychopaths. It is actually quite interesting in the right hands! Today, the author discussed several more studies and research and seems to have come up with the possibility that, for psychopaths, striking first and going for instant gratification is the only way to be…to win…to be successful.

One of the studies that caught my attention was one where they asked for the world’s best computer programmers to build super programs/computer “games” to see what “mental” strategies created a “winner.” It was called TIT FOR TAT. The winning “game” was one in which the “gamer” dished out whatever was dished at it. In other words, if a ruthless gamer tried to be ruthless, it was ruthless back. If a nice gamer tried to be nice, it was nice back. He didn’t give complete details and I am going to see if I can research this study myself. He says that the “games” seemed to work the same way the real world does. If we put our feet down swiftly and quickly against psychopathic behaviors, or dish it right back, they will back down. He says if psychopaths see that they will lose face and look like losers, they will back down.

Now, I am in complete agreement that “no contact” is the way to go for everyone who can possibly do it. But, I am not in a position to do that now. AND, I have been playing TIT for TAT without even realizing completely. I guess you could say that I am in step with the spath. If he’s obnoxious. I’m obnoxious and walk away. No more whining or begging or “why don’t you love me like you did?” anymore. I have been giving him back what he gives out. I have also struck first in different ways. IE: I find out he walked to get booze, I keep his debit card and he gets no more than two bucks in cash. I have told him far in advance of his hope that he get off the walker after recovery from the surgery that this will not change. That he can not be trusted and he will not be in possession of cash or the card. He can still order things on line, but this state doesn’t allow ordering booze on line. He was not supposed to smoke here and has been for two years (outside of course), so I have been talking about what other addicts are saying about how much better the nicotine vaporizers are, how much cheaper. I put it into his head and now he is going to order some. I have been doing his grocery shopping (all of this I get paid extra for) and I have been going to a much less expensive place and saved him money that way.

The author talked a lot about how psychopaths will turn things around to make it SEEM like they are doing YOU a favor of some kind to get what they want. They always want to get something out of you. I guess I have turned the tables out of survival attempts and am doing that to him! AND my foot has firmly been put down. Live here by my rules or call the VA and get out. I show no fear. I show no desperation. Even if I am feeling them. I do not show him those things any more. If I cry because it could have been great if he hadn’t been a spath and followed through with his promises of the loving bounty he would bring to my life, he never knows it or sees it. On the other hand, I have become his caregiver….just like mommy was for his first 32 years (except SHE actually bought and paid for his cigs and booze!) and I am finding that if I tell him to do something that will help his leg recover better, he is doing it more and more. I think this book is actually helping ME. Some parts of it are narcissistic on the part of the author. Some of it is strange and some of his personal stories could be questioned. But, as far as seeking research and telling about it, he is telling me new things. I am afraid the book in the hands of a spath could make them FEEL successful for what they are. However, in my hands, it is a lesson that my tenacity and unwillingness to take BS off a spath, will pay off. I see so much more clearly how one thinks. That is one thing that makes me wonder if the author is at least a narcissist. And that makes this book helpful to victims. It is as if one of them is telling us how they think, why they think that way, and how they use it to their advantage.

Now, we can use this knowledge to our advantage. A solid “No. That won’t work for me. Bye.” can get mine to back down. Probably not when he was young if I had had this information. But, it’s working now. An insult begets an insult. A kindness begets a kindness. When I kept on being nice after being treated like dirt, he felt successful. Now, he doesn’t want back anything bad, so he’s is slowing it down. It will be interesting to see what happens if his leg gets better. My resolve isn’t going to change though. When it comes to a spath, no good deed goes unpunished and no bad deed deserves a reward.

fightforwhatsright

Here is the link about the study relating to psychopaths. It is a PDF and it also includes “The Prisoner’s Dilemma” which is another example the author uses in this book to describe how Psychopaths see the world. Search at this link under “TIT for TAT game” and it does a much better job of explaining how responding instantly to obnoxious behavior will help us figure out if someone is a spath right away. http://www.sci.brooklyn.cuny.edu/~sklar/teaching/f05/alife/notes/azhar-ipd-Oct19th.pdf. I am not very good at copying links but if you look up TIT for TAT game experiment, you will find it.

Babs94540

I think that in order to successfully utilize a “tit for tat” strategy in everyday life, a person must have (a) a healthy level of self-esteem, and (b) the ability to *discern* or recognize when another person is acting abusively toward them.

But those two conditions tend to not exist in those raised by psychopathic parents or narcissistic parents, or really any of the Cluster B disorders.

A parent with narcissistic pd or psychopathy will obliterate their child’s healthy self-esteem, and the child is conditioned to accept that being abused, neglected or rejected is what “love” is.

If “tit for tat” is another way of stating the concept of “mirroring”, then I guess I understand it correctly (?)

fightforwhatsright

Hi Babs, If you put in a search for Axelrod study of the Prisoner’s Dilemma and TIT-FOR-TAT, it does a lot better job of explaining the research. It is pretty complex and I can’t fit it all in here. But, it is a type of mirroring although mirroring is usually used in couples counseling where both people want to cooperate. Since narcissists, spaths and other personality disordered people often don’t want cooperation, the way to keep a psychopath at bay is to give back what they dish out, back them off, let them come back and be cooperative, forgive quickly (which I call detaching because I don’t feel much love for this person), act like it didn’t happen and be nice back to them once they have “learned” to act nice or they will be hurt in some way.

IE: Mine has no one to go get his cigarettes if he does not act appropriately towards me. If he is obnoxious, I walk out on him and go to my place. (I don’t think this would work if one were living together with one of them and did not have a private locked area of the house away from them.) I watch TV or read a book or something. Then, he wants his cigarettes, so he will call and apologize. I say, “Thank you.” He then will get his cigarettes. The longer he waits to apologize, the longer it takes me to getting around to getting his cigarettes. He is learning that his instant gratification impulses will not be met by me without advance requests and kindness. It is working well enough in my situation. However, I would never stay in this situation for anything but rent money.

I agree that being raised by narcissistic or spath parents makes it very difficult. I have experienced that. A book I recently found very helpful is “The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists.” There is a section for children of narcissist parents. Also, “Help! I’m in Love with a Narcissist” was helpful. And, of course, I refer to the books of Patricia Evans often. She has an answer for every type of abuse. Reading books, counseling, sharing and getting advice here, etc. is raising my self esteem again. Some non-profits and the mental health association may offer self esteem courses. I attended one at the YWCA many years ago which led to my attending college and getting a degree at 41.

While horrible parenting will always instill doubt and the possibility of “targethood” rearing its ugly head in our lives, we can learn how to raise out own self esteem and create a support system…either someplace like Love Fraud or a personal circle of friends. I believe with continually reading and working on myself and getting counseling when I can, I can raise my self esteem. My favorite part of self esteem is to act as if I have the courage to follow through with my “rules” if a spath crosses my boundaries. I am finding that more and more, I do have the self esteem to do it.

Babs94540

Thanks for the head’s up on the article / book / author suggestions, I will look into those! I guess I just stumbled onto the technique of “mirroring” by accident, as an adult; I’ve just always treated other people the way they treat me: I give them the first “turn”, so to speak, then I reflect back the way they behave toward me. But I’d like to study the other parts of “tit for tat” more closely which appears to be a way of “teaching” someone (in particular, someone who is a spath) how to treat you.

tnvictim

imhope, your comment is one of the best I’ve read on here. Babs, I hope it works for you, but spaths don’t like to be turned on and try to retaliate if they can, so be very careful what you do. If you can prove criminal behavior, let the police have what you know on them and let them handle it. Jail is sometimes the only way these “misfits” can be removed from your life although many will only hang around as long as you provide for them in some way they want–when you stop being a provider for them, they will move on to someone else who will. That said, it doesn’t solve anything for you that has already been done to you, but it is still good to get away from them, if possible, and live the rest of your life knowing that people like them exist in this world and how to recognize them so another one can’t harm you again in any other way. They are truly a scourge to our society, but are out there in numbers that are more than we can verify. The amount of damage they do financially, emotionally and to our faith in humanity is beyond any study we have now. All of us on here have suffered in some way–some much more than others–but we all share in the fact that we have been impacted negatively in some way by these people. They are evil, pure evil, and apparently unable to change. The craziest part may be that they can be very sweet and wonderful people to some while making the lives of those of us on here miserable. Mine did some very nice things for some members of her family, but also lied to them all and kept them in the dark as to what she was really doing with her life. Not one person that I ever was in any contact with that knew her had ever been told truthfully by her hardly anything that she did. She would lie about her age, her birthday, where she was, who she was with, about working (she had several different “professions” she told different ones that she was working in, but had never worked an honest day in her life), how she had the money she had, how she got the vehicle she was driving at the time, where she got a computer, where she was a student (hint: NOWHERE), where she lived, and anything else you can come up with. She lied about her children, their names, their ages, who had custody of them, how they were born, their “illnesses”, anything that could make you sympathize with her, or give her money to “help” them with, or whatever it was she wanted, or needed at the time. Even her mother wound up being ashamed she ever gave birth to her even though she supported as much as she felt she could. Her sister disowned her, her stepbrother used her, but didn’t trust her, and even her grand parents were ashamed of her. She had two ex-husbands who would be prime suspects if she was ever killed from the hate she left them with towards her, and her “fiancee” when I last saw her was heading toward being another future “hater” of her. Amazingly, as most of you can attest from your own experience, she seemed totally unfazed by any of this and seemed amazed that anyone would think she had ever done anything wrong????? They have no conscious as has been well documented on here, and no heart unless it can be used for their own purpose. The most amazing thing to me is that law enforcement agencies, or maybe lawmakers, haven’t cracked down on the criminal type of behavior that many of these exhibit. So many of the “crimes” they commit aren’t physically hurting anyone so I guess that’s why, but financially, they have ruined many of us, and emotionally, the toll is even greater. Maybe we ought to send all of them we can identify to an island to live on with each other and see how long they can exist that way? Seriously; this site gives many of us sanity when it seems our whole world has gone insane. At least we know we are not alone.

Barb

Dear TNVICTIM:

What scares me is how they can ‘turn things around’ so that “you become them”. My spath was extremely clever in that she absorbed my qualities into her (and even became much better looking) and I ‘became her’…a gross ‘thing’ that no one wanted to be around or even talk to.

And it carried over into my adult life. I am now an empty shell, and although still good looking at 62, I am far from happy or successful.

When we become the ‘spath’ (on the surface)…we can still be our former/real self and be a good person inside but the public at large, even our FAMILIES, can see us as the sociopath. This is what happened to me.

Unfortunately for me my parents were sick narcissists and my maternal grandmother was completely wigged.

What do we do when we have ‘become them’ in the eyes of the world? How do we tell our story to those who ‘might listen’ (which is really no one except a counselor).

We don’t even feel we have the ‘right’ to speak up and I have been ‘closed up’ and silent for decades. We turn our face away from evil too often.

On jobs it is the ultimate misery to have to work with a spath. I was literally ‘followed around’ and the spath made a point of sitting next to me…there was no support from H.R. or my supervisor. As long as she was a great worker (so was I) and a ‘glib talker’ she could get away with it. She kicked my computer CPU over once…spread lies and rumors about me…interrupted me when I spoke to others…reported that I was leaving early (I had to get a physician to vouch for me that I was in his office and not ‘gone’ from the work scene).

But the one I grew up with (first example in this post) was beyond evil. My psychiatrist called her ‘diabolical’. The damage she did was colossal.

At least we have this site to share our experiences …one wonders why “God” or whatever you believe in would allow for these people to exist.

notsuperior

Sociopaths believe they are superior but they are NOT ”“ anyone can use deception and be self absorbed but society cannot survive on the basis of such “traits”. There is nothing special about psychopaths they miss out on emotions we all treasure, they cannot be fully embraced by society because “normal”social interactions with them are impossible. They pride themselves on actions anyone can engage in at any time if one chooses to do so. Its not hard to lie and cheat or be cruel and take advantage of others, I can easily do all of that trust me. You are wrong if you believe future societies will function on the basis of people with these “qualities”. The basis of survival is ingroup formation including morals to strengthen the group, you will always be an outcast without special abilities, sorry but that’s the truth. Why do you think the GFC took place because greed and deception is the basis for functioning,future societies?

notsuperior

rather than being progressive and special most Psychopaths are regressive… children unable to suppress their urge to act on instinctual drives for longterm gain

fightforwhatsright

I think regressive is a great word to describe a spath. Returning to childhood tantrums and the need for immediate gratification unless halted.

fightforwhatsright

notsuperior: I have re-read your comments. I hope you will post again as you have a lot of insight to offer here.

Delores

You are getting close but they are worse than that. Even small children as young as 3 or 4 can have a lot of empathy…especially around the sick and elderly. It comes naturally unless you are born without it. A Psychopath is born without it and more like a vampire…and the first vampire story was writtne by a victim.

fightforwhatsright

Hi Delores: I agree. Not only are they born with it, but the book I’m reading has a lot of research to prove that they learn how to cultivate the loss of empathy into a recognition of it in their targets! So, as a sub-human to the left on the evolutionary scale, they can recognize it and understand it without feeling it and use the empathy of full human beings to create their lizard devastation. I never knew that there were people who could tell me they were human like me, or had even a higher level of moral beliefs, and be completely lying using a lizard brain that is secondary to fully evolved humans. Research is showing more and more that all human brains are not equal.

DarthNollidge

Dear Babs

My spath brought me back to God, because as I lay prone in the hospital and she stared at me with the ice beams she uses for eyes, I realized that within her I could see the Devil, or a demon of some kind, that this evil I only thought possible in works of fiction, in Lifetime movies, was staring me in the face, probably salivating over the sympathy she would get if I died at age 31 and, oh, what to do with all that life insurance money? And knowing this true darkness exists, I knew then that the light to counter it must also exist. It was through that light that my spath found out that prey can bite back – and bite back hard. I was suspicious of her and didn’t trust her with money. She did burn through all of my savings (but because I used them I have never been close to bankruptcy or anything and they are currently being rebuilt.) I laywered up and left her with nothing but beat up old furniture. She was enraged that I divorced her, that “the game” didn’t end with me broken, broke, and completely emotionally devastated. Not being a very smart spath, I was able to turn the tables on her. I cut off contact aside of what the court ordered and she could not get to me. She hatched a bunch of revenge plans, most of which involved bringing men into the house and screwing them in my bed, on my couch, in my car, etc, but she has a grating personality once the initial charm is gone and didn’t count on people who knew us liking me despite all the horrible lies she told them about me, and they came forward and warned me about her. So, I always knew what she was up to and foiled all of her plans. With the game up, she was already indiscriminately having sex with multiple partners -male and female- while searching for a new victim. Not going to pretend I didn’t hurt bad over all the sex she was giving away when I found out from friends who were turned off by “her becoming a giant slut all of a sudden,” since she’d been denying me sex since the day we got married (she claimed she was on her period so we didn’t even do it on our wedding night. Red flags everywhere.) Like many have posted it was abundant in the past but then that person who was a perfect match for me disappeared and only showed up every now and then, I guess to keep me hoping this sad excuse for a wife and lover that I had was the mirage, but I got wise and figured her out. She looked stunned when I told her what I thought she was doing, what her “game” was, how she’d been taking advantage of me. I’d noticed, but didn’t listen to myself until then. Her eyes got huge and her jaw dropped. It was like she couldn’t believe I’d figured it out. She was so stunned she admitted that, yes, that is exactly what she was doing. That was when I decided for good that she had to go. That was a year ago; somehow, she is already engaged again people have mentioned, though I’ve asked not to get any news about her. I know the guy too, from back in HS. I feel sorry for him but he fits the victim profile, the kind of guy she would target. I am sure his background crossing mine is not a coincidence, as we went to HS in another state. I think she is still playing her game, trying to worm her way onto my radar, I don’t know, but I hope she is not obsessed with me. Wish I could warn my old buddy but…I am not stirring up that hornet’s nest. Been stung enough. I am done with the spath. Very happy for this site because I needed to really understand what I was dealing with, that I am not the only one, and that what I saw was real and not just in my head. As far as the Darkness, where it exists there must also be Light. You can take that as God or any way you want, but I think the light is what separates us from them.

Darth,
Sorry about your buddy,but you gotta get on with your life and your healing!

I agree with you that no matter how evil or clever these spaths are,they cannot prove more powerful than the Source of Light!

fightforwhatsright

I believe there are “devolved” humans (or regressive and notsuperior stated) and “evolved” humans. I believe sociopaths ARE the Missing Link and no one has been able to figure it out except those of us whom have dealt with them. I do not believe in a God who is all powerful as that God should easily be able to get rid of a Devil, which I also don’t believe it. I believe there may be a kind of “wall” of afterlife because quantum physics proves that molecules have “brains” of their own. I don’t believe any one religion or deity is THE one truth. I believe that humans are here and in the moment, they are either one of the devolved ones or one of the evolved ones. My job is to stay away from the devolved ones. I have dealt with both evolved and devolved humans for over five decades now. One is a professed Atheist who can keep his mouth shut about it. Most of the others are professed religious followers and can’t keep their mouths shut about it.

The most important thing is to recognize abuse and sociopath behaviors against us. As we have found, people are often not what they say. They are mostly what they do and sociopaths are found saying all kinds of things and doing all kinds of other things. It helps me to detach from their devolution and recognize them as disordered “missing link,” feral humans and to get away with them. I don’t want to give them any more supernatural powers than their deluded minds already tell them they are.

imhope

FFWR~ [“missing link,”] i believe you might be right…like Bigfoot, something ugly, stinky, evasive and dangerous, i think you’ve got it!
I totally agree with you that this is no place for religion. I think that we all can agree, by virtue of the fact that we are victims of spaths that at least on this subject none of us are blessed, more like cursed. Having said that, we are all here not only to vent to those who understand our experiences, but to help us all find the “blessing” of healing, through the compassion and understanding of each other, where the divine has seemed to fail us.
Something that i have felt by reading here, is that not everyone here who has been the victim of a jerk has actually been touched by a spath. There are lots of nasty idiots out there that are not pathological, so my suggestion is to continue to read testimony here to determine exactly what kind of “jerk” you have dealt with. Many of us have heard others say “move on”, that’s easy to say for someone that has never been mowed over by a spath. Many of us have “moved on”, but understand the seriousness of a true spath and feel the need to pass on the warning. Spaths don’t get better, they get worse. They don’t learn how to be better people from their “mistakes”, they learn how to be more successful with their next victim. They for the most part have no ears, only mouths. They listen to nothing, believe nothing and care for nothing but their own agenda. I hope that we can paint a accurate picture of these monsters so that everyone here, victim or not will learn to recognize spaths to avoid ever being a victim.
Hugs,
Renee

fightforwhatsright

Thank you very much, imhope. Too bad sociopaths don’t disappear when we take try to take their photos like Bigfoot does!

I agree with you about telling someone else to move on. I think it is very cruel. I have pretty severe PTSD and so many people have told me that…as if someone with so much pain and an altered brain according to research, can just say, “OK. Thanks. I just needed you tell my brain what to do, so now I’m sure it will!”

I especially appreciate what you wrote about sociopaths just finding a different, or sneakier way, to take control. I have also found that to be true. Even their faces look like they are a different person every five minutes as they try all of the tactics trying to find one that will work.

This site and a large majority of people here have been very helpful and real to me. But, I know what you are talking about. I always hope to give and receive suggestions that will help. And, as you reminded, there is no “pat” answer to the devastation of a sociopath.

imhope

FFWR~
Yes, i believe it’s a nasty thing to tell someone to “move on”. Wonder if they would give that type of advice of a rape victim or for one mourning the death of a loved one? No one knows what stage someone is at in their dealing with trauma. I have suffered both, being in relationships with men that were unpleasant, but being in a relationship with a spath is a whole different ball game. Unless you have been there, you have no idea.
I too suffer from PTSD and it effects everything in your life. I have been divorced for over a year now and still would rather be home than in public. Sometimes even meeting family members gives me uneasy feelings. I would under NO circumstances EVER consider even a date with another man, much less ever have a relationship or marry. The only feelings i have left for the spath are bad. I will go to my grave concerned about who he is hurting next. It’s like knowing a serial killer, but no one believes you. Not that i haven’t had people come to me and say OMG, that man is a freak! Until every person that comes in contact with him is aware, i will feel responsible for their welfare. This man is an evil doer. They/we say they care about no ones feelings but their own, but the truth is, they don’t think anyone has feelings but them. No matter what he did to me he always poo-pooed that it hurt me in any way. He never let me up for air in the 4.5 yrs i was married to him. Every day it was something else. He wouldn’t work. He would get a job and get fired. He would tell me he had been to work when i got home, him, still in his work clothes, the shower still wet from the shower that he took minutes before i got home, to make me think he had been to work. He had phone sex with men. He answered personal adds on Craigslist from men and women. He stalked women on FB that contacted me telling me about his harassment. He was constantly in “roll play” chatrooms, playing the little boy that Mommy was groping for sex. He would contact old girlfriends and try to get them “back”, girls from his teens and he was 50+ at the time. There were constantly porn virus’s on the computers. I begged him to leave, he would say, “i’m not leaving, i have a good deal here”. He was a monster. Stold as much as he possibly could from me. That kind of deception is hard to swallow. It’s like, here, swallow this watermelon! All i’m left with is wanting to warn the world. He still threatens me with everything you can think of. His fantasy has always been to get me fired from my job. He wants me to think the only reason i have my job is because he is such a nice guy that he doesn’t get me fired, not that he has anything that he could use to get me fired, but he was always trying to drum something up. Hard to understand why someone who wouldn’t work and enjoyed the fruits of their wife’s employment would want to get her fired…sick, sick, sick!
Thanks for listening,
Renee

fightforwhatsright

imhope: I am glad to listen to a fellow sufferer. I believe that is the best way to get it out, feel heard, and help each other here. Vent to me any time.

I am so sorry to hear that your sociopath is still terrorizing you. I have a borderline ex-husband who has resorted to the type of “emotional blackmail” you are talking about…including that he would get me fired as well as other types of small blackmails. Do this or that or I will call your family in the middle of the night type of threats. I call them his fits. I still allow him in my life as well as the spath to whom I rent. Both for survival reasons at this time in my life. Not the most healthy choice, I know. But, a choice I have made nonetheless…for now.

The borderline can retain empathy and can be very kind in between his fits which happen about 5 times a year. The spath is very transparent and has no feelings for anyone but himself. He is the one that is into transvestite porn and is very difficult when he can’t manipulate me. He has tried a few of those types of threats also. It can cause a paralyzing terror, can’t it?

I hope yours will move along, but I also know what it is like to feel you need to warn people. I isolate a lot and this web site has been very helpful to me. But, sometimes I wish I could just start driving and go stay where no one knows who or where I am.

fightforwhatsright

imhope: Are you still around?

tnvictim

FFWR, I am sorry you have been subjected to misplaced “Christianity” by anyone on here. This site was set up for those of us who have been negatively impacted by sociopaths, or in some cases, psychopaths. It wasn’t to discuss religion, per se, either as a particular faith or as those who don’t believe in any religion. The object and reason is for us to relay our feelings, experiences and lessons learned due to our encounters with the spath we had. Basically, it is to allow us to understand that there isn’t something “wrong” with us because we allowed a sociopath to enter our lives and disrupt it the way they did. We aren’t the perpetrators, but the victims, and there are many of us. Unfortunately, there are many sociopaths in the world- not confined to one country, one continent or any particular region within those. History is full of them, too. Whether we accept more scientific evidence of our existence on this earth as to how we have evolved to this point, or believe in a spiritual being that has the power to interject itself into our lives, or not, at it’s whim, I guess does not take away the fact that each of us on here was, or are, affected by a sociopath in some negative way. Many of us have found it to be a lesson in life, albeit a very painful one, and have moved on mostly and living now with the knowledge that such people exist and that they are cunning, conniving and can be very convincing when it comes to getting us to do what they want from us, or to take what they want from us. I’ve found from my experience and from reading of others on here that they are really very sad people. They have little to live for, no real hope for the future, or much of a life that anyone would want to live. They strive on matching wits and outsmarting others, and feel most superior whenever they are being successful in convincing us to do something we would never normally do. Life is just a game to them, but their reward is never enough, and never satisfying for long because they constantly have to keep up false pretenses to exist in our lives. That’s hard and tragic for anyone to have to do constantly. However, it is not the intention of anyone on here, or at least it should not be, to further inflict pain upon each other here. We have faced an unfortunate part of life–some are still experiencing it, and are on here to seek some understanding and help in getting over it. Most of us are not professional psychologist, or even close to it, but each of us has a story we know only too well, and in telling it and what we have learned from it, hopefully help the rest of us in easing the pain inflicted on us by our personal experience(s). I hope you find peace in your life, some solace to know you aren’t alone–the rest of us have been “suckers”, too, and can begin to live your life again w/o having to worry about what has been done to you. Whether we are religious, or non-religious, we have all been affected by what has occurred to us, and have come here to seek something positive from life again. Hopefully, you won’t find any more negative comments toward you, or any of your beliefs from anyone on here. That’s not what the site is about. For everyone else, it might be an eye opening experience for us to not inject our own personal beliefs in such a matter as to make another feel that they are being scolded, or condemned, or harassed. God knows we have all been thru enough of that to even seek out this site in the first place. If you don’t believe in God, then, you know that yourself. Let’s just stick to sharing our experiences with our sociopaths, giving any lessons we have learned from our experiences, and listening to each other to see what else we might have not had happened,but could have. We can learn and support each other, and draw strength from each other if we will just do that, and leave theology to our churches, synagogues, mosques, or scientific journals. Everyone have a nice day!

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