By | June 14, 2013 13 Comments

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Woman loses teaching job because of ex-husband’s stalking

Carie Charlesworth, a second-grade teacher at Holy Trinity School in San Diego, California, was fired by school officials because of her ex-husband’s “threatening and menacing behavior.” The school’s legal counsel investigated the man, Martin Charlesworth. Here’s what was found, according to the termination letter received by Carie Charlesworth:

Whether or not you are aware of this, Martin Charlesworth has a twenty-plus year history of violence, abuse and harassment of people mostly women and he has continued the pattern to the present. We learned the behavior you endured had been exhibited as far back as 1991 in Alaska with other women, including his then wife. He has an equally long history of threatening people, including those whom he believes are interfering with his intent at any time. We have found many applications for restraining orders in Alaska and California and criminal matters in both states. All of this information is a matter of public record.

School officials noted that a temporary restraining order did not deter Martin Charlesworth from threatening behavior, and said that Carie Charlesworth could not return to work at any school in the diocese.

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I can understand concern for the safety of the children and other teachers;especially in light of so much school violence lately…but this story doesn’t balance evenly on the scales of justice.Cari and her children are victims of domestic violence.They are in need of compassion and those who are willing to go out of their way to help them.Too often,people choose to stay within their ‘comfort zone’.This story causes me pain.I didn’t lose a job.But I did lose a home because of such fear.Never mind that I was blessed with a better home.


Wow, I could echo similarities of
this experience.


That is such a sad thing. Stalking really needs to be taken more seriously. I have seen my husband ex stalk not because she was still in love but just to know what he was doing. Because after their divorce she couldn’t let go of wanting to control him and make sure he did what she wanted him to. She has tried to ruin his reputation by saying he was deadbeat dad. Which makes no sense, considering he has full custody of kids and had full custody before I met him because she was to busy for the kids, having affair with much older man and going to Bahamas on her now husbands ex wife credit card. Which I know for a fact it was all her who charged up that credit card. He poor now husband took the fall for it tho. Very sad, I don’t think he knew what he was getting into. She has conned many men, many people, even me.
She stalks my husbands work and she stalks me online. But as far as i know she is just crazy but not dangerous. My husband says different. He said he believes she wouldn’t herself harm us, he fears she will pay someone else to hurt me or my child. That’s his biggest fear because he knows the situation is hard and he feels he has to protect me and my child from it . I think he has alot of guilt for bringing me into situation. But he shouldn’t. I love him and even with the horrible things I have been thru because of her. I am in love with my husband and would marry him all over again.


I would be asking my husband to move and leave no forwarding address, and letting him meet her with the kids alone.


If it was that easy we would move today. But in the real world when you own a house and work you can’t just pack it all up and move. We are taking things one day at a time. That’s all we can do. Kids are in school here, husbands job is here and so is the sociopath. But we live in a gated neighborhood and she is restricted to come here unless we authorize her to by guards. And that won’t ever happen.

I understand your situation very well! When I left my husband,there were some who said I should leave town-even the state!

I don’t have a job,own a house or have young children in school.But this is HOME.My girls all live nearby.So do my friends who are like family.I live in a secured apt complex.My husband is in a nursing home.

Do as your name suggests,and listen carefully to what your husband is saying.He should never have to feel guilt,as it isn’t his fault.You came into the situation because you love him.That is the beauty of life.But due to disordered people like his ex,it does require caution!


What happened to this woman is wrong. They should have offered her excellent references and found a way to transfer her to another school. The school district should be told if anyone calls asking about her, her file is closed. San Diego is a beautiful place, but there are many places on the coast to get a hundred miles away from him. I hope she does that.

When I first saw this story,I thought the same thing.Then,I listened to the video here,and realized that Cari teaches religion.So it would be harder to place her than a teacher who teaches other subjects.I don’t know how far their parish extends,but according to the video,she isn’t allowed to even work anywhere in the parish.

I haven’t been back to California since I was 5 yrs old! That’s when my dad retired from the navy so that he could take care of his widowed mother.We used to visit friends in San Diego.At that time we lived in the San Joaquin valley.But I was born in Chula Vista.


I lived in many places. I hope to go back there to live close to my cousins someday, but doubt if it will be possible.

This woman hopefully can get certified to teach anywhere. If she wanted to stick to religion, she could work at a college. Stalkers and sociopaths ruin lives, careers, health, and anything they can get away with. And they can get away with so much.


Been there done that! I’m very sorry for this lady, it is their way of controlling you, and it works. People don’t know how to handle these kind of people.


I can understand, too. We were victims, yes, but we also carry the potential for danger with us wherever we go. For some, the potential is greater and more deadly, for others its just the fear of something bad happening that will not actually take place (ie potential). This is sad, and horrible for her, but if she has an ex who actually shows up like that, she is carrying a risk to those around her. Mine hasnt shown up yet, and would not until the protective order expires bc I believe he perceives if he waits he wont go to jail, bc its beyond the “contract” of the Criminal No Contact Order, and the Civial PO and Stay Away Order. Right now, I feel relatively safe. Its if and when the “contract” (I quote it bc he is a contracts manager, and follows “to the T”)… thats when I will wonder about if and how he will surface, and if and when the PO expires and court does not renew, I will probably not have kids over to my place anymore bc I would feel irresponsible potentially putting them in a hostile situation.

It really stinks, but if the situation were reversed I would feel so much sympathy for my girlfriend and yet, weary about my kids going over to her place, because of the “what if.” I would gladly have them over to my place, if not for my own peace of mind… and I see this happen around me with many moms not wanting their kids coming to my place. It used to hurt because I didnt see from their viewpoint. Now, I understand they just want their kids to not be put in harms way, even if its not likely, it still could happen at any moment. They all saw my ex, he is 6 foot 5 inches tall, weighs 215, works out every day and they didnt care for him… mix that with mental instability, and I wouldn’t want my kids there.

The bottom line is, what happened to us, didnt just happen and its over, it follows us forever, until the spath has a new target that doesnt go away (peace be with them all) or they die from old age.

Right now, I enjoy the peace of mind knowing Im safe for one more year, but to explain that to the other moms… really, they wouldnt understand, and that is ok with me now. This is a very delicate and sad effect of domestic violence, that we dont focus on (until now I guess) because we focus so much on recovery and no contact, and getting on with our lives… this involves others looking in at our getting on with our lives and making judgement calls. Back to the article and the video clip, I dont think I would ever work around children after what I have been through. It would be bad enough for him to show up at an all adult office and harm me or others, but children definitely dont need that… maybe Im too conservative in my safety planning, mapping out what would be ok vs risk… I just couldnt. I always wanted to volunteer at the kids school for lunch and recess… but I just couldn’t live with myself if he did show up and do something in front of all those innocent children.


I lost a student teaching job when my ex (true lovefraud story mark ledden) attacked me. He was in jail and they still wouldn’t let me return, knowing he’d be out on bail as he awaited trial i’m sure. Cost me from feb-dec of that year (2009) with zero income, zero resources, living with my mother and 2 children. no one cared. my true lovefraud story is published here because not even ONE NEWS ARTICLE was published about what happened to me, nor was the discrimination in my student teaching placement. I had to wait until the following september to student teach when I should have been done in june and would have had a JOB in september. so at minimum, it cost me 3 months pay.

I’m glad her story got some coverage.

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