Do sociopaths know what they are? Many, many Lovefraud readers ask me this question. The short answer is that some of them do and some of them don’t.
The man who sent me the following email certainly has insight into his own personality:
I would like to thank you for making your videos they have given me an insight into how you people recognize us. WE are not to blame for your short comings because you are weak minded and foolish enough to be taken advantage of. We are evolutions next step we don’t allow silly emotions to cloud our judgments. In fact we use our advantage for survival because we are natures next course. I know I sound very narcissistic and apologize for that but if you are so proud and concerned and attached to your emotions why not allow someone to make you feel like a queen for something as worldly as money? We give you what you are missing just as all of the world ecosystem has since the beginning of time. It’s funny how we have been so easily classified and even now as I attempt to alter myself in order to become unparallel to descriptions of us, I find it very difficult to even perceive. I would like to boast of my strategic victories over hearts but I would fear you making another video and making this game more difficult, of course it would make it much more challenging and pleasurable when enjoying the hunt.
This email is a great example of the sociopathic perspective, whether or not individual sociopaths are aware of it. Lest we forget, here is how sociopaths view themselves, the rest of us, and the world:
1. Sociopaths are superior beings, and everyone else is a mark.
2. If marks are dumb enough to be conned, they get what they deserve.
3. Marks deserve to be targeted because of their stupid emotions and consciences.
4. Emotions and consciences are useful in marks, because they can be exploited.
5. Exploitation is a perfectly reasonable way for sociopaths to get what they want.
This is why there is no rehabilitation for sociopaths. They do not feel that they have a disorder; rather, sociopaths believe they have an evolutionary competitive advantage.
Or, for those sociopaths who don’t have the intelligence or education to analyze their place in the world, they’re simply content the way they are and see no need for change.
Okay
I just re-read this very informative article above: “The Sociopath’s Perspective.”
This person’s words are so creepy. When he thanks Donna for letting him know what “your videos they have given me an insight into how you people recognize us” it gives me chills! “you people!”
He goes on to state that sociopaths “are evolutions [sic] next step we don’t allow silly emotions to cloud our judgments.” This statement strikes me as fascinating and bothersome.
Many years ago, when I was in a different type of relationship with the spath, I used to call him “The Neanderthal” when discussing his obnoxious behaviors with others. I instinctively KNEW he was lower on the Evolutionary Scale to solid human beings.
Unfortunately, I didn’t know he was a sociopath. I felt I was joking because he was so devolved, or “regressed” as notsuperior stated.
Now, I believe that sociopaths truly are below us in an evolutionary way. Because of the research I have been reading about (nature and/or nurture differences in sociopaths vs. non-sociopaths), I can see that they are sub-human. What I also refer to as feral humans.
They are missing that EQ (Emotional Quotient) that full fledged humans have. I believe and some research shows that their brain is just missing that ability to use their EQ in life. They have a personal agenda and whatever makes THEM feel good is the only thing that matters to them.
When I noticed that he refers to the victims here as “you people,” it makes it even more clear that he doesn’t even see himself as a “person” like we are. He believes he is evolved because it makes him feel better about his abuses. But, he is clearly devolved/regressive and I am glad he unwittingly shared that with Donna. I am also grateful to Donna for continuing to share “The Sociopath’s Perspective” with us “people.”
FightforwhatsRight: I think you had it much worse than me. There was another job ‘waiting in the wings’ for me and it proved to be much more professional. There were fights and unresolved conflicts there as well but nothing on the level of the medical center where I was isolated and made to sit alone in the dark (with a single lamp to see my computer screen). It was the bosses and CEO who were a big part of the problem.
It is not the only place I had been bullied, so thank you for your sentiment. So sorry for you too…I also read a book, “Snakes at Work” (and another about women at work, “Sisterhood Betrayed”). Thank you for your suggestion, “Bullies at Work”.
Barb, So glad you got out. By the time I figured out what a nightmare I was in, I had lost 30 lbs and I was already thin to begin with. I was not getting any sleep and I was the only person in a group of about 100 people who would speak up about it…finally going to the authorities when I realized I was all alone with a bunch of hypocrites…some willing to take money to break serious laws.
Did you read the newer article at the left about “conditioning” and “why we stay?” I think it could be very useful information about staying at an abusive work place as well.
My worst experience with a female co-worker was a so-called “Born Again”. She said one thing…did another. Tried to get everyone to listen to her.
Very sad.
Oh, yes. I have a great deal of experience with those ones. They can be very hateful if one refuses to be brought into their “fold.” I guess if a group isn’t loving enough to quietly “attract” with their good attributes, they are willing to force with pressure and abuse. That has been my experience anyway. And definitely a lot of groupthink of being better than anyone else, knowing what is right for others, and an inability to think any other way. Where I live, being “saved” or “born again” is actually cited as why they can do the wrong thing or not do the right thing when called upon. If one feels they will be going to a wonderful place because they have pronounced they are no matter what they do in life, they will feel kind of invincible in their bad/ugly choices. That is what I have seen. I feel sorry for them, until they have attacked me in some way as you have experienced. They can be very cunning. I accidentally married one. He forgot to tell me a few things! LOL. If there was ever a disagreement in the marriage, it was never between to respectful human beings. It was a god telling him to tell me what to do. How convenient….for everyone except me!
Barb, are you still here?
Tea,
How are you doing? 🙂
Tea yes things are relatively calm here for now with my home situation. My shepath has been busy lately, which I love because she’s not around as much. Hope things are peaceful for you as well. I’m hoping your creep won’t go to the trouble of traveling to where you are since it sounds like a distance. Is he still trying to contact you if you don’t mind me asking ? The distance definitely is in your favor. Thank you for your consistency here.
Good stuff 4light. We like calm. And I see you are now the second gentleman poster on LF to adopt ‘shepath’ . Lol. As for the lunatic I am recovering from, today was supposedly d day as in the departure of his wife and child for her country. I had a flurry of ( blocked) texts in the week ( the blocker notifies me a text or call from number x has been blocked. They are ‘ binned’ in a blocked messages log. I opened the log when the first one came. I read ‘ my love…’ then deleted it. I havent read any of the others). Nothing today. I am afraid, but I will not let my fear control me as he wants it to. I am trying to remain level headed. Am reading The Manipulative Man by Dorothy McCoy which is helpful at reminding me of his frightening outbursts, the punishments if I was non compliant over his demands and so on. My wish is to blank it out. I did in fact blank out some of it. I can’t remember anything of the first time we had intercourse. Nothing. But I need to remember enough to know that he is obsessional, violent and therefore a potential danger in the future, especially with his second marriage now ( seemingly) over. Greatly appreciate your thoughtful enquiry as to how things are with my situation. Thanks 4light.
Tea , I’m glad you are able to keep yourself as level headed as you can. Maybe one day these freaks won’t be a part of our lives. For now it seems that is our battle. It’s just so exhausting sometimes. Thank you for your kindness, for your friendship, and for your courage. Btw the binned blocked messages I’m assuming can be saved and accessed later if you needed them for legal purposes ? Thanks for the Star Wars reference. Funny I have sometimes related some of the deceptions, and manipulations cluster B’s use on people as ‘Jedi Mind Tricks’. Be safe
Blossom I hope you are doing ok. Just a heads up – you may want to be extra careful here and make sure you don’t post anything too quickly from an emotional perspective without really giving it some serious thought. Not that you don’t already put a lot of thought into your posts. I know you do. Just a little extra caution might serve you well now. Seems you are being targeted. I noticed that after you apologized the other poster wasn’t interested in resolving the issue but again is using deceptive manipulation. Your comment of feeling like you are back in the nest with the spath ( your own obnoxious husband I suppose you meant ) was claimed to insinuate that the other poster is a spath. I am growing more tired and concerned by the attitude, posturing and twisted reasoning. If I walk around saying I hate bullies while I myself bully others what does that make me ? The aggressive tone, the dominance is what troubles me the most, and I continue to see it. Keep posting Blossom, and reaching out to support others. Peace to you.
4light2shine,
Thank you for your concern and observations.I’m glad you are able to enjoy relative calm!
Yes,you are correct,I was referring to my husband in that post.I felt like I was back in that situation.
The force is strong with you 4light. Blossom , see response to 4light re: how I’m doing! Plus had a good weekend watching tennis so am ofTo find Imara now to ask how her jam making went. She was watching Wimbledon and eating strawberries like me. Small pleasures are giving me back my gratitude that I am alive.
Tea,
It is good to hear that you are well,and especially staying strong!It would do all of us well to keep enough memories around of “what it was like” that we don’t weaken and fall into the web of deception again!
Hi Barb:
I often go back and read the articles again after a large number of postings. Sometimes I forget what the article discussed.
I read through Donna’s list again in response to the belief system of the sociopath who wrote to her. I think the first statement hits the mark concerning our discussion. Donna wrote that this was her first thought based on what a sociopath revealed:
1. Sociopaths are superior beings, and everyone else is a mark.
This goes back to being unable to reach a compromise with anyone who thinks they know all. If one believes he/she is a “superior being” and anyone can be a target of their superiority complex, it is impossible to have a rational discussion with him/her. There can never be a win/win solution. I am so glad you escaped that woman because she is certain she is a superior being and I’m sure she found a gang she garnered with her belief that she was a “superior being.”
It would have been no use for you to try. People who create a persona as a “superior being” can always find others who will do their bidding. Disturbed people can use all of the sociopath ploys to gather others to join them in their attacks. It makes the “joiners” feel that they, too, are superior because they are doing the bidding of the one evoking the “superior being” persona.
I guess even if it makes me a “mark” to a sociopath, I am glad to be an “inferior being.” I will never know all and I know that if I ever do think I am superior and know all, I will have stopped growing as a good human being.
Almost every day, I peruse the archives and try to find good articles and I am never disappointed. Maybe my inferiority in the eyes of the sociopaths have made me an easy target. But, I would rather be a target than someone who believes they are superior and believes they must control others.
The spath who makes my life difficult believes he is a “superior being” and it seems that I was an easy mark. Last night, we had a disagreement. He actually said that there was “my” feelings about what had happened and there was “reality.” He does this to me all the time. I told him that when any disagreement involves two people, there is no reality. Different belief systems and the feelings involved are never reality. They are two different belief systems and feelings about the subject. He worked hard trying to lower my self esteem.
I guess I would rather feel doubt and lower self esteem and be an open and nice person than be like him. However, I wish I could extricate myself from “superior” all knowing “beings” and get myself out of their web. I wish I could have been more like you were at work. My life would be very different now.
Your posts helped me a lot yesterday. Thank you.
To Everyone,
I came to Lovefraud for the same purpose that the rest of you did.I apologized sincerely for triggering a poster here.It wasn’t done maliciously,and she knows it.There was nothing in my post to suggest that.I simply asked her to consider;”to think on a matter”.This was 3 days ago.I’m tired of this matter being blown out of proportion,a clique being formed, and the peace as well as the purpose of this blog being surrendered.
There is room for everyone here~~~no one’s beliefs has ever been called into question.That is a personal choice.What we have in common is being harmed in some way by the disordered.We should not be harming each other,but rather helping each other to heal.
Blossom, we can’t control it love, let’s just let others here behave exactly as they chose. And we’ll carry on with our thing. Donna will not permit bullying on this site.
Tea,
Love and Hugs to you! Glad you’ve been enjoying the simple pleasures of life!I love strawberries,but lately have been snacking on red grapes!
Get those anti oxidants down you Blossom. There was a 42 year old woman playing Serena Williams yesterday. Thats one year younger than me and I give myself a round of applause if I make it to yoga. She’s amazing. Japanese , Date-Krumm is her surname. Her secret is green tea. She takes a little pot in her kit bag.
Tea,
I was drinking green tea for awhile,but got away from it.I need to start drinking it again.