Aren’t you getting sick of hearing about all these politicians and other powerful people who can’t control themselves? Are you wondering if they are all just sociopaths? Are all sex addicts also sociopaths?
In the wake of my own dismay at the sheer number of sex crazed politicians, I wanted to share some thoughts with you.
First of all, one of the psychopathy researchers I respect the most is Dr. Grant Harris. He has written a seminal paper COERCIVE AND PRECOCIOUS SEXUALITY AS A FUNDAMENTAL ASPECT OF PSYCHOPATHY He says that promiscuous, coercive and precocious sex is central to the psychopathy syndrome. However, if you look at the statistics on the PCL-R the most studied method of assessing psychopathy, the two items related to sex have the lowest item correlations with the total score and do not even seem to be related strongly to Factor 2 of that test which is a measure of impulsivity. So there doesn’t seem to be a particularly strong relationship between psychopathy and sex addiction. By that I mean not every sociopath/psychopath is obviously a sex addict.
In his book The Mask of Sanity, Hervey Cleckley commented that “impersonal sex” is part of the syndrome. He also noted though that psychopaths didn’t seem to like sex all that much. Many victims I have interviewed have mentioned that. Sociopaths seem to view sex as a weapon to be used on another person or withheld from another person to hurt them.
As Donna pointed out earlier in the week, there is a strong link between sex motivation and the perception of power; there is also a link between a person’s drive for power and their drive for sex that may be related to testosterone.
When I think about Arnold, Anthony, Elliott and Bill, what I find most striking is their ability to do what I would call dissociate because I can’t think of another word for it. In the moment they are conceiving, tweeting, meeting in the hotel or messing on a dress, thoughts about their families and all of us seem to be completely gone from their minds.
Another great thinker about psychopathy is Robert Reiber, Ph.D. who I had the good fortune to chat with about this very topic in person several years ago. He thinks that this ability to dissociate is what makes a psychopath. When I asked him what he thought about the idea that psychopaths are “without conscience.” He replied, “Of course they have a conscience.” He thinks though they have an uncanny ability to dissociate from their conscience and their memories.
Neither the ideas of Harris nor Reiber bode well for our politicians. But I have learned a lesson from my dogs that might be useful here.
My daughter and I have three Ibizan Hounds, they are sight hounds who also have this uncanny ability to dissociate. When they are hunting small prey they become so focused on the moment they forget we are there and run off. We have been able to prevent this from happening through the use of training collars. We very much wanted them to be able to run free in the woods, so we had to figure out a safe way to get them to come back. They easily learned to come to us to avoid a mild shock that the collars deliver via a remote that has a one mile range. There is also a vibrate button, so after the dogs were trained, the warning vibration is all that is needed. But I have noticed that when they wear the collars they do not become as engrossed in the hunt and they readily come back to my voice. Without the collars, I can be shouting right next to them and they don’t hear me.
So the answer is simple, politicians should wear the collar, and their spouses can keep the remote!
For more discussion about sociopaths and sex see:
One/Joy ~ Yay you!! I’m glad to hear that you were able to be out and socialize and enjoy yourself. I think it’s great that you were able to do that AND keep your senses aware and be observent of others’ behaviors.
h2h
thanks h2h – i felt a bit ‘normal’ – different than i used to feel for sure, but normal-ish. I am starting to integrate this hellacious experience. I don’t go out and about socially with people much. i ‘deal’ with people all the time in my job (mostly through phone and email – which makes it impossible to get the whole sense of them), and most of those connections give me anxiety.
One is out ‘practicing’ life!!! GOOD GOING GIRLY!
Look at the corners you are turning!
I went over to a friends house last night. She is remodeling and wanted some design input. I knew it would take forever since she’s neurotic. Her poor husband is such a GEM!!!!
I told her, i’ll come but you may not like what I have to say. (I don’t think NOW is the time to sink big $$ into a remodel to sell a house!)
We made it through each room, with me agreeing with her husband most times….I think he was relieved to have backup. Proly scared shitless when she announced her GF was coming over to help with design. He proly saw $$ flying out the window.
We ended up making ‘leftover’ tacos…..and hubby made me a margarita straight up w/ salt……in a big fancy martini glass. It’s was no whimpy Magy i’ll tell ya. ONE was fine!
I thought of you!
I don’t think we ever go back to ‘who’ we were before…..with the experiences and lessons, I believe it’s impossible. But the new and improved versions of us……are even better, once we learn the gig!!!!
Why thank you, miss EB.
will be trying to figure out the gig for a while yet.
margy’s figure in the figuring, once in a while. 😉
practice makes perfect…
One Joy,
isn’t it funny how we are now seeing people’s PD’s all around us? There are less WTF? moments because we KNOW wtf it is.
The most important part is recognizing our OWN PD’s and how other’s will zoom in on them and take advantage.
Our PD’s are, methods we learned to function in relationships which are not optimal, but which work for us. They are stepping stones to learning to do better. Meanwhile, at least we can be aware of them, so that our “limp” doesn’t attract attention.
ErinB, yea there are cures for all of them, but I hope he gets them and can’t figure out the cure…..Hens, you are right, I do NOT like John Edwards, having an affair when your wife is down with cancer is well, like ErinB’s X….I don’t like him either, and wish him all the things I wish for dear old Johnny…and prison for them both! And a cell mate named Bubba who is 6’6″ and into sex with his cell mates, willing or not.
It was supposed to be 92 here today—it is already 96 and it is only 3 p.m. so may go even higher. ErinB, I hope it has quit snowing at your house at least….I am so jealous. But I can’t leave home anyway to come visit as I have all these weird looking CHILDREN I have to take care of cause their daddy won’t pay his duckie support! Or change duckie dipaers! Oh, woe is me! W#OE IS ME!!!! LOL 🙂
Sky
I really agree with that one hundred percent. This is what I’m focusing on now, my own PD’s, realizing that we all have a degree of narcissism, I think. Lots of stuff to sort through from my own spath family of which I’ve taken on that has NOT been helpful to me and needs to be replaced with healthy behaviors.
I see all of this now. For that, I’m grateful!
And even more so that I can change it. It’s slow going, but patience is another attribute that I need to acquire! UGH!
LL
Did you all hear that Weiner is now taking a leave of absence to go into treatment? If he is a true sociopath, it won’t help. Sad.
Yea, I saw that! I love it! Everything now is a “disease” that will respond to “treatment” it’s all because his mother didn’t breast feed him enough and his daddy spanked him when he was 5 for setting the house on fire.
My FAVORITE CARTOON shows a woman squatted down talking eye level with a little girl, in the back ground is the smoking ruins of a burned house.
The mother says “Mommy and daddy are not mad at YOU, Marilyn, they are mad at the NAUGHTY THING YOU’VE DONE.”
That seems to be the way things are looked at today in our society—at least for our congressmen and senators, governors, and sports heroes, we EXPECT them to do this sort of thing or worse, deny it until they can’t deny it any longer, then they do 10 “hail Marys” in some rehab facility and return to “grace” and all the perks of office.
As H. Ross Perot said, “If a man’s wife can’t trust him, why should we trust him?” (to run our country).