Psychopath and narcissist love quizzes

Dr. Dorothy McCoy, a licensed professional counselor and psychotherapist, has developed online quizzes to help you figure out if you are dating a psychopath or narcissist. The behaviors identified by the quizzes will certainly look familiar to Lovefraud readers.

Psychopath Quiz

Narcissist Quiz

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80 Comments on "Psychopath and narcissist love quizzes"

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what if they test as both? ugh!!

P Score- 15 out of 17
N Score- 9 out of 9

Glad that I have been P free, for the past 6 months! Sicko!


Dear Changed ~ I read somewhere here that a person who is a psychopath is ALSO narcissist. On the other hand, a person who is narcissist, is NOT necessarily a psychopath.

So, to answer your question: If they test as both, they ARE both. My advice: keep as much distance between yourself and this person as possible.


Wow. That was shocking.

Mine tested out on both.

Gee I thought I was losing my mind!



LL ~ you are too funny!! LOL

You’ve been regaining your sanity since you got away from that N/S/P!! ((((((((((((((( LL )))))))))))))


This woman “Dr. Dorthy” missed her real calling— she should have called herself “THE REAL MC COY” because her tests were pretty doggone good I thought!

While there were a couple of questions I had some problems with as the answer wasn’t quite “yes” or quite “no” over all it still showed that the person I was answering about was a TOXIC person though he might not have been Ted Bundy.

Interesting site. And some good insight for those that are “wondering” is the person I’ve been involved with TOXIC?

LL, too funny!! Oxy, I agree.

From the Psychopath test:

1. Shows inconsistencies between expressed emotions and body language.

That’s very interesting!—and worth highlighting. I don’t recall hearing anyone list this symptom before. But it IS very much what we’d expect to find from a psychopath. Has anyone noticed this symptom?

Redwald ~ YES. Just not quite worded the same. How about the classic: “smile that doesn’t quite reach the eyes”? I think that fits this question pretty well. JMHO

Red and Hope,

Yea, I agree—the discord is there between words said and expressions–but sometimes with some of them it can be VERY subtle. Other times it can be pretty blatant and obvious to most folks.

Sometimes it IS the “smile” that is only the lips, not the eyes or the rest of the face, but it can be many different pieces of the body language vs the words.

What is so ODD to me though is that one second they can be looking at you with the EYES OF SATAN and the WORDS of satan and the BINGO do a 180 degree turn and act like SATAN was never there. DUH!

You are left wondering WTF? Did I see what I thought I saw?

I call it the “bucket of cold water in the face” feeling. LOL


With my spath, one of the ODDEST things I noticed about him and it was BLATANT was when he spoke on the phone. HIS VOICE had expression while his face showed absolutely NOTHING. It was the WIERDEST thing I’ve ever seen in my life.


(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( h2h ))))))))))))))))))))))

Thanks, but I’m not quite out of the looney bin yet, but I’m at least hopeful!


These are some strange mismatches in behavior all right!

I guess what that says is to be careful of anyone whose behavior seems “off kilter” in some bizarre way, even if it’s not clear what this strangeness “means” or whether it actually signals a threat.

Off topic—A very different kind of “quiz” question

I just ran across an intriguing puzzle question. It’s designed to test if you think like a psychopath!

The guy who posted it on another message board pointed out that it’s not a “trick” question, but nobody he knows himself got the answer right so far.

Here’s the question. A woman was attending her mother’s funeral when she ran into a guy she’d never met before. She was instantly attracted to him. For her, it was love at first sight, and she saw him as her “dream guy.”

Unfortunately she never asked for his number, and later she couldn’t find him.

A few days afterward, she killed her sister.

Here’s the question: What was her motive for killing her sister?

(It’s suggested that you give it a few minutes’ thought before answering.)


This question has been posted here before so some might actually know the answer



I heard this many moons ago, but do not remember the answer.

I found the answer online.

talk about a twisted sister – ok so I give why did she kill her sister? did sister get the dream guy instead, so twisted sister killed her out of jealousy? ok so…..?

No, she killed her sister so the guy would show up at the funeral again…now that’s a PSYCHO!!!

Hmmm I bet she killed her Mother too..


Haha! You are too funny!

She killed her sister so he would come to the funeral.

But I cheated, I had heard it before. LOL

Even animals are attuned to the predator stare….If I am walking among my cattle and I look DIRECTLY at one of them, they will run, so I have to walk with my head down and watch them out of the corner of my eye so they do not get spooked that I am “herding” them, then when I get on the opposite side from the direction I want them to go, then I raise my head and LOOK directly at them and they move away—-in the direction I want them to go. (the corral)

Body language can be used a number of ways to confuse the intended victim.


OMG LOOK WHAT I FOUND!!!!! It’s posted on livejournal: http://issendai.livejournal.com/572510.html

How to keep someone with you forever

So you want to keep your lover or your employee close. Bound to you, even. You have a few options. You could be the best lover they’ve ever had, kind, charming, thoughtful, competent, witty, and a tiger in bed. You could be the best workplace they’ve ever had, with challenging work, rewards for talent, initiative, and professional development, an excellent work/life balance, and good pay. But both of those options demand a lot from you. Besides, your lover (or employee) will stay only as long as she wants to under those systems, and you want to keep her even when she doesn’t want to stay. How do you pin her to your side, irrevocably, permanently, and perfectly legally?

You create a sick system.

A sick system has four basic rules:

Rule 1: Keep them too busy to think. Thinking is dangerous. If people can stop and think about their situation logically, they might realize how crazy things are.

Rule 2: Keep them tired. Exhaustion is the perfect defense against any good thinking that might slip through. Fixing the system requires change, and change requires effort, and effort requires energy that just isn’t there. No energy, and your lover’s dangerous epiphany is converted into nothing but a couple of boring fights.

This is also a corollary to keeping them too busy to think. Of course you can’t turn off anyone’s thought processes completely—but you can keep them too tired to do any original thinking. The decision center in the brain tires out just like a muscle, and when it’s exhausted, people start making certain predictable types of logic mistakes. Found a system based on those mistakes, and you’re golden.

Rule 3: Keep them emotionally involved. Make them love you if you can, or if you’re a company, foster a company culture of extreme loyalty. Otherwise, tie their success to yours, so if you do well, they do well, and if you fail, they fail. If you’re working in an industry where failure isn’t a possibility (the government, utilities), establish a status system where workers do better or worse based on seniority. (This also works in bad relationships if you’re polyamorous.)

Also note that if you set up a system in which personal loyalty and devotion are proof of your lover’s worthiness as a person, you can make people love you. Or at least think they love you. In fact, any combination of intermittent rewards plus too much exhaustion to consider other alternatives will induce people to think they love you, even if they hate you as well.

Rule 4: Reward intermittently. Intermittent gratification is the most addictive kind there is. If you know the lever will always produce a pellet, you’ll push it only as often as you need a pellet. If you know it never produces a pellet, you’ll stop pushing. But if the lever sometimes produces a pellet and sometimes doesn’t, you’ll keep pushing forever, even if you have more than enough pellets (because what if there’s a dry run and you have no pellets at all?). It’s the motivation behind gambling, collectible cards, most video games, the Internet itself, and relationships with crazy people.

How do you do all this? It’s incredibly easy:

Keep the crises rolling. Incompetence is a great way to do this: If the office system routinely works badly or the controlling partner routinely makes major mistakes, you’re guaranteed ongoing crises. Poor money management works well, too. So does being in an industry where the clients are guaranteed to be volatile and flaky, or preferring friends who are themselves in perpetual crisis. You can also institutionalize regular crises: Workers in the Sea Org, the elite wing of Scientology, must exceed the previous week’s production every single week or face serious penalties. Because this is impossible, it guarantees regular crises as the deadline approaches.

Regular crises perform two functions: They keep people too busy to think, and they provide intermittent reinforcement. After all, sometimes you win—and when you’ve mostly lost, a taste of success is addictive.

But why wouldn’t people eventually realize that the crises are a permanent state of affairs? Because you’ve explained them away with an explanation that gives them hope.

Things will be better when… I get a new job. I’m mean to you now because I’m so stressed, but I’m sure that will go away when I’m not working at this awful place.

The production schedule is crazy because the client is nuts. We just need to get through this cycle, then we’ll have a new client, and they’ll be much better.

She has a bad temper because she just started with a new therapist. She’ll be better when she settles in.

Now, the first person isn’t actually looking for a job. (They’re too stressed to fill out applications.) The second industry always has another crazy client, because all the clients are crazy. (Or better yet, because the company is set up to destroy the workflow and make the client look crazy.) The third person has been with her “new” therapist for a year. (But not for three years! Or five!) But the explanation sounds plausible, and every now and then the person has a good day or a production cycle goes smoothly. Intermittent reinforcement + hope = “Someday it will always be like this.” Perpetual crises mean the person is too tired to notice that it has never been like this for long.

Keep real rewards distant. The rewards in “Things will be better when…” are usually nonrewards—things will go back to being what they should be when the magical thing happens. Real rewards—happiness, prosperity, career advancement, a new house, children—are far in the distance. They look like they’re on the schedule, but there’s nothing in the To Do column. For example, everything will be better when we move to our own house in the country… but there’s nothing in savings for the house, no plan to save, no house picked out, not even a region of the country settled upon. Or everything will be better when she gets a new job, but she’s not applying anywhere, she’s not checking the classifieds, she has no skills that would get her a new job, she has no concrete plans to learn skills, and she doesn’t know what type of new job she wants to take. Companies have a harder time holding out on rewards, but endlessly delayed raises and promotions, workplace upgrades that are talked about but never get enough budget, and training programs that are canceled for lack of money work well.

Establish one small semi-occasional success. This should be a daily task with a stake attached and a variable chance of success. For example, you need to take your meds at just the right time. Too early and you’re logy the next morning and late to work, too late and you’re insomniac and keep your partner up until you go to sleep, too anything and you develop nausea that interrupts your meal schedule and sets your precariously balanced blood sugar to swinging, sparking tantrums and weeping fits. It’s your partner’s job to get you to take your meds at just the right time. Each time she finds an ideal time, it becomes a point of contention—you’re always busy at that time, or you’re not at home, or you eat too early or too late so the ideal time shifts or vanishes entirely. But every so often you take your meds at just the right time and everything works perfectly, and then your partner gets a jolt of success and the hope that you’ve reached a turning point.

Chop up their time. Perpetually interrupt them with meetings, visits from supervisors, bells and whistles and time clocks and hourly deadlines. Or if you’re partners, be glued to them at the hip, demand their attention at short intervals throughout the day (and make it clear that they aren’t allowed to do the same with you), establish certain essential tasks that you won’t do and then demand that they do them for you, establish certain essential tasks that they aren’t allowed to do for themselves and demand that they rely on you to do it for them (and then do it slowly or badly or on your own schedule). Make sure they have barely enough time to manage both the crisis of the moment and the task of the moment; and if you can’t tire them out physically, drain them emotionally.

Enmesh your success with theirs. Company towns are great at this. Everything, from the workers’ personal social standing to the selection of groceries at the store, depends upon how well they do their jobs and how well the company as a whole is doing. Less enveloping companies try to tie their workers’ self-perceptions in with the public’s perception of their brand. People do it by entangling their successes and failures with their partners’, even when they shouldn’t be entangled. A full-grown adult should be able to take his meds without his partner’s help, and there’s only so much anyone can do to make someone eat at the right time and swallow their pills, but he still puts the responsibility for managing his meds squarely on her shoulders. The classic maneuver is to blame all your bad moods on your partner: If they weren’t so _______ or if they did ______ right, you wouldn’t be so stressed/angry/foul-tempered.

Keep everything on the edge. Make sure there’s never quite enough money, or time, or goods, or status, or anything else people might want. Insufficiency makes sick systems self-perpetuating, because if there’s never enough ______ to fix the system, and never enough time to think of a better solution, everyone has to work on all six cylinders just to keep the system from collapsing.

All of these things work together to make a bad workplace or a bad relationship addictive. You’re run off your feet putting out fires and keeping things going, your own world will collapse if you stop, and every so often you succeed for a moment and create something bigger than yourself. Things will get better soon. You can’t stop believing that. If you stop believing, you won’t be able to go on, and you can’t not go on because everything you have and everything you are is tied into making this thing work. You can’t see any way out because there are always all these things stopping you, and you could try this thing but that would take time and money, and you don’t have either, and you’ve been told that you’ll get both eventually when that other thing happens, and pushing won’t make that thing happen so it’s better to keep your head down and wait. After a while the stress and panic feel normal, so when you’re not riding the edge, you feel twitchy because you know that the lull doesn’t mean things are better, it means you’re not aware yet of what’s going wrong. And the system or the partner always, always obliges with a new crisis.

Eventually you’re so crazy that you can’t interact with anyone who isn’t equally crazy. Normal people have either fled, or told you once too often that you’re being stupid and you need to leave. So now you’ve lost all your reality checks. You’re surrounded by people who also live in the crazy and can’t see a way out. You spend your time telling one another that it’s too bad, but that’s how it is, there’s no fixing it, and everything will get better when ______ happens. If anyone does get a little better and says, “Hey, guys, this is crazy, we can all stop now,” they’ve become a stuck cog in the machine. They quickly realize that there’s nothing they can do, and they pull out, leaving you alone with your crazy friends.

Finally you think it’s ordinary.

You fantasize about being suicidal enough to kill yourself. But that’s not all that bad, because you don’t think that way all the time, and you’re not actually trying to kill yourself. You just wish something would come along and make you dead.

One day you hit rock bottom. Maybe you want so badly to die that stepping out of the sick system looks like a good way to commit suicide, or maybe you’re so depressed that you no longer care. Maybe you catch on before then, and realize, as you’re standing there with the pill in your hand and your partner too busy on WoW to swallow it, that this is crazier than crazy and it’s time to make it stop. Maybe the system makes a mistake, and you look at the pattern of people who got promotions and realize that you will never, never qualify for your promised promotion.

Or maybe a door opens, and something magical happens. The position you’ve dreamed of opens up. The school you want to go to offers a new scholarship for people just like you—and the person who runs the scholarship tells you confidentially that with your qualifications, you’re a shoo-in. Your granduncle dies and leaves you $100,000. You can have exactly what you want—if you walk away from the system you’re enmeshed in.

If you step away, two things happen, one after the other:

PANIC! HORROR! THE SKY IS FALLING! I’VE LOST EVERYTHING I EVER HAD AND I’LL NEVER GET IT BACK AGAIN! There’s not enough stress, something is wrong, something horrible is happening and I’m not there stopping it, oh god what is my ex-boyfriend doing and can I save him from a safe distance? I’m responsible! I have to call the office and make sure they’re okay! I have to make sure everything I left was okay, because it would all fall down without me and now I’m not there and it’s falling down and all those innocent people are being hurt and I have to stop it!

…I feel so much better now.

It’s all gone, like someone stopped pounding me in the head with a hammer. I didn’t even know the hammer was there. Why did I let someone pound me in a hammer all that time? What in hell was I thinking? Why did I think any of that made sense?

Once you’re out of the system, it makes no sense at all. None of the carrots they dangled before you mean anything, and you start to truly comprehend just how much stress you were under. You see things you never would have believed while you were in the system. And the relief is greater than you ever could have imagined while you were enmeshed.


my n ex scores 8 out of 9 in the n test, and the quesitons for the p just don’t relate to my situation. i never knew her in person and EVERYTHING she said about herself was a lie. everything.


I was getting #4 from the X spath…the intermittent rewards. Makes you keep wanting to make it happen. An addiction. And all the rest of that post? That was most definitely my workplace! It was toxic!!!

One/Joy ~ you described my former workplace to a “T”. Then, in the last 6 months I was there, they had me train a bunch of people all at once. Training complete, they terminated my “position”. OMG, I never realized I was dealing with a bunch of sick SOB’s!! It’s no wonder my self confidence went right down the drain… 🙁


small case eb (think that’s better than ‘little’ eb :)) – we’ve talked about intermittent rewards here before – it’s the glue of the trauma bond. spath was all over that one.

h2h – it’s so important for us to name the obvious, so that we see how sick these works places and people are, and how sane we are.

i was really pleased to find this. i didn’t read any of the comments, but the person who wrote that post noted that there was good info in them. livejournal is an online community with a KICKASS no bs policy. if the site i met the spath on had such a a policy they would have heaved her sorry ass instead of censoring me. man, i don’t know if i have ever been so pissed as i was with their response to my and other’s complaints about her. live journal fully investigates any fake deaths and exposes people. end of.

Well I was gettin my hair cut and the girls were talking about how to get your man to be totally devoted and at your beckon call forever…it has something to do with menstrual blood and soup….some kind of voodoo – yes totally disgusting but has anyone ever heard of such a thing…….?


can’t say i have a bunch of experience in getting men to be totally devoted to me….

Hens ~ just found this in yahoo answers: This is a common practice in hoodoo, not Voodoo. Hoodoo will use bodily fluids of all kinds, including semen, menstrual blood, vaginal fluids, and urine. Menstrual blood is added to the food or drink of the one you want, or it can be used to anoint candles in spells of domination and to control the man’s sex life. It is based on the concept of pheromone magick as well as occult principles. It is said to bind a man to you unless he has a work done to reverse it.

It is not a good idea to try this with someone who is not the least bit interested in you, or someone who has been abusive to you. It works well between couples who already have a loving relationship where it can be done out in the open where the man can choose to ingest your blood. This can increase the passion between couples by a few notches. To do it with a stranger this day and age is not advisable, given the fact that many very serious diseases can be transmitted by the exchange of body fluids.
The Voodoo Hoodoo Spellbook

thank you H2H I thought the girls at the barber shop were pulling my leg…..how gross….

abso freakin’ lutely GROSS!!!


MTP has so much to say…..alass….she will remain silent!

EB ~ thank you for my first real L O L of the day!! too funny


LMAO nope…..I was just tryin not to puke while she was cuttin my hair…~! But let me tell you ‘she’ is a spath if there ever was one – the stories I could tell…hair people are a breed of their own…

ahem…. I is a “hair people”, or at least I would have been if not for allergies… dang it!

That explains why I stuck around for 28 years…..HE COOKED MOST MEALS…….and I thought it was gravy on top of my mashers……HOY VEY!

ugggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!!! where is that PUKE bucket!!!

On a roll!

btw Hens ~ I’ve never once been accused of bein’ “normal” LOL

Um, I’d like to point out just how quick H2h grabbed that voodoo hoodoo book from her shelf and provided us with that answer!

H2H I luv hair people….I am very good at inserting foot into mouth……lol i am just being my usual smart ass self……sorry. I always thot I woul make a great hair person…kinda like mowing a lawn.

EB ~ you are on a ROLL for sure!! LOL

oh EB and I have had some grand time’s on LF, I have laughed out so loud the dogs hid under the bed…

Hens ~ we have that in common… foot in mouth disease, that is LOL

Actually, haircuts were my absolute favorite to do. Of course that was wayyyyyyyy back in the early 80’s. Not sure I’d want to do some of the goofy shiat they do these days. LOL

one… thanks for posting that!!!!! very interesting!

the hoodooo stuff is gross!!!!

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