Aren’t you getting sick of hearing about all these politicians and other powerful people who can’t control themselves? Are you wondering if they are all just sociopaths? Are all sex addicts also sociopaths?
In the wake of my own dismay at the sheer number of sex crazed politicians, I wanted to share some thoughts with you.
First of all, one of the psychopathy researchers I respect the most is Dr. Grant Harris. He has written a seminal paper COERCIVE AND PRECOCIOUS SEXUALITY AS A FUNDAMENTAL ASPECT OF PSYCHOPATHY He says that promiscuous, coercive and precocious sex is central to the psychopathy syndrome. However, if you look at the statistics on the PCL-R the most studied method of assessing psychopathy, the two items related to sex have the lowest item correlations with the total score and do not even seem to be related strongly to Factor 2 of that test which is a measure of impulsivity. So there doesn’t seem to be a particularly strong relationship between psychopathy and sex addiction. By that I mean not every sociopath/psychopath is obviously a sex addict.
In his book The Mask of Sanity, Hervey Cleckley commented that “impersonal sex” is part of the syndrome. He also noted though that psychopaths didn’t seem to like sex all that much. Many victims I have interviewed have mentioned that. Sociopaths seem to view sex as a weapon to be used on another person or withheld from another person to hurt them.
As Donna pointed out earlier in the week, there is a strong link between sex motivation and the perception of power; there is also a link between a person’s drive for power and their drive for sex that may be related to testosterone.
When I think about Arnold, Anthony, Elliott and Bill, what I find most striking is their ability to do what I would call dissociate because I can’t think of another word for it. In the moment they are conceiving, tweeting, meeting in the hotel or messing on a dress, thoughts about their families and all of us seem to be completely gone from their minds.
Another great thinker about psychopathy is Robert Reiber, Ph.D. who I had the good fortune to chat with about this very topic in person several years ago. He thinks that this ability to dissociate is what makes a psychopath. When I asked him what he thought about the idea that psychopaths are “without conscience.” He replied, “Of course they have a conscience.” He thinks though they have an uncanny ability to dissociate from their conscience and their memories.
Neither the ideas of Harris nor Reiber bode well for our politicians. But I have learned a lesson from my dogs that might be useful here.
My daughter and I have three Ibizan Hounds, they are sight hounds who also have this uncanny ability to dissociate. When they are hunting small prey they become so focused on the moment they forget we are there and run off. We have been able to prevent this from happening through the use of training collars. We very much wanted them to be able to run free in the woods, so we had to figure out a safe way to get them to come back. They easily learned to come to us to avoid a mild shock that the collars deliver via a remote that has a one mile range. There is also a vibrate button, so after the dogs were trained, the warning vibration is all that is needed. But I have noticed that when they wear the collars they do not become as engrossed in the hunt and they readily come back to my voice. Without the collars, I can be shouting right next to them and they don’t hear me.
So the answer is simple, politicians should wear the collar, and their spouses can keep the remote!
For more discussion about sociopaths and sex see:
Yeah, our society is a mess.
Louise,
I’d not heard that. All I’ve heard is a call for his resignation, can you say Tiger Woods without the female count? Or who knows?
The man is more concerned about his position than he is about his family. It’s sickening.
Is that somehow suppose to soothe the rest of us exposed to his idiotic behavior?
Wow, I know it DOES ME! I’ve been listening to radio programs (liberal) that won’t bother to make an excuse for him because he LIED when he knew he was LYING (typical spath behavior), but the listeners DO. One of them said that the “reason” he did what he did was because his wife was busy in her career, traveling with Hilary Clinton and she didn’t make time for him. WTF? Others trump it up to simple “Well, men are just like that”.
I’m so glad I’m single!!!
LL
LL:
I am glad I am single, too!! I am not ready for a man right now and probably won’t be for a long time, but that is OK. I have found that even if they are a good man, there is still drama. I can do without it.
I don’t fall for that women not making time for men crap. You can give them all the time in the world, all your love, and they will still cheat. I wonder if it will come out that he had any actual affairs with anyone and not just sexting?? I think sometimes they just get off on flirting and sexting because they know they can’t physically “cheat.” What do you think?
I been bad tonite and ya’ll are gonna kill me.
Elizabeth what did you do?
I was reading an industry magazine today and came across a quote. It was something like this. “Human beings are predisposed to avoid pain and to pursue pleasure. This ensures we stay alive, and reproduce”.
No wonder we go into “overload” and puke all over the place when we run into a sociopath. We can’t process it.
Duh.
SK
Louise
I am SO with you.
I read “Glamour” magazine today waiting for my hairstylist person, and they had this section on sex, I read it and just felt sick.
I don’t want sex. I can’t imagine ever wanting it again after what has happened to me via my spath.
🙁
SK:
I know…it is tough. I still have feelings, but I just don’t want to go there as far as sex. It will take a long time for me to open up again.
I went to dinner with my neighbor and we had a really good time. I have come to the conclusion that MAYBE her behavior is in response to my sadness over what happened with my job and the whole unemployment thing. I noticed recently that since I have become happier and less stressed, that she isn’t toying with me like she was before. She wants to be around me when I’m smiling and happy. She is also starting to open up around me and talk more-she told me a cute story about when she was a child and she’s never done that before.
There was a jazz band playing tonite and the only open table was next to them. We were afraid of having to yell over them but it was fine. An older gentleman that lives in the neighborhood was running around with a camera and he took a picture of us together. One of the female musicians came over to us on a break and said that she could see us when she was playing and we looked like we were having a great time together. DK said that’s cuz we are.
She complimented me right away on the way I looked and I told her how great she looked in that red shirt at dinner. It was obvious that she made an effort to get ready for tonite. Usually on the weekend she’s no makeup and a tshirt and looking like she just got up. She had on makeup and not a hair was out of place and she smelled good.
She was way different tonite than she’s been in a REALLY long time and now I can’t breathe a little. She told me to sleep tight when we were on the porch and I was thinking-I’d sleep better if she was curled up next to me.
you are over her, she is a spath, you can’t stand living by her, she is frigid, you are a hormone, she planted seeds of destruction in your mind…..MAKE UP YOU MIND ELIZABETH BENNET.
You waste our time and concern with this – seriously. get yourself togehter.
LOL!
One Joy, how is your evening going? I love the way you don’t mince words.
Liz, I’m with One Joy. You know that spaths put you on a pedestal before they push you off. It’s hot and cold, whipsaw games. I received that today myself. There’s the love bomb then the cold shoulder. If she’s always a bitch to you, then how does that hurt? It doesn’t, you’ll just hate her. But if you allow her to be sweet, then you get addicted and BAM! she lets you have it. She’s already shown her colors and she confuses you. Who does that?