Aren’t you getting sick of hearing about all these politicians and other powerful people who can’t control themselves? Are you wondering if they are all just sociopaths? Are all sex addicts also sociopaths?
In the wake of my own dismay at the sheer number of sex crazed politicians, I wanted to share some thoughts with you.
First of all, one of the psychopathy researchers I respect the most is Dr. Grant Harris. He has written a seminal paper COERCIVE AND PRECOCIOUS SEXUALITY AS A FUNDAMENTAL ASPECT OF PSYCHOPATHY He says that promiscuous, coercive and precocious sex is central to the psychopathy syndrome. However, if you look at the statistics on the PCL-R the most studied method of assessing psychopathy, the two items related to sex have the lowest item correlations with the total score and do not even seem to be related strongly to Factor 2 of that test which is a measure of impulsivity. So there doesn’t seem to be a particularly strong relationship between psychopathy and sex addiction. By that I mean not every sociopath/psychopath is obviously a sex addict.
In his book The Mask of Sanity, Hervey Cleckley commented that “impersonal sex” is part of the syndrome. He also noted though that psychopaths didn’t seem to like sex all that much. Many victims I have interviewed have mentioned that. Sociopaths seem to view sex as a weapon to be used on another person or withheld from another person to hurt them.
As Donna pointed out earlier in the week, there is a strong link between sex motivation and the perception of power; there is also a link between a person’s drive for power and their drive for sex that may be related to testosterone.
When I think about Arnold, Anthony, Elliott and Bill, what I find most striking is their ability to do what I would call dissociate because I can’t think of another word for it. In the moment they are conceiving, tweeting, meeting in the hotel or messing on a dress, thoughts about their families and all of us seem to be completely gone from their minds.
Another great thinker about psychopathy is Robert Reiber, Ph.D. who I had the good fortune to chat with about this very topic in person several years ago. He thinks that this ability to dissociate is what makes a psychopath. When I asked him what he thought about the idea that psychopaths are “without conscience.” He replied, “Of course they have a conscience.” He thinks though they have an uncanny ability to dissociate from their conscience and their memories.
Neither the ideas of Harris nor Reiber bode well for our politicians. But I have learned a lesson from my dogs that might be useful here.
My daughter and I have three Ibizan Hounds, they are sight hounds who also have this uncanny ability to dissociate. When they are hunting small prey they become so focused on the moment they forget we are there and run off. We have been able to prevent this from happening through the use of training collars. We very much wanted them to be able to run free in the woods, so we had to figure out a safe way to get them to come back. They easily learned to come to us to avoid a mild shock that the collars deliver via a remote that has a one mile range. There is also a vibrate button, so after the dogs were trained, the warning vibration is all that is needed. But I have noticed that when they wear the collars they do not become as engrossed in the hunt and they readily come back to my voice. Without the collars, I can be shouting right next to them and they don’t hear me.
So the answer is simple, politicians should wear the collar, and their spouses can keep the remote!
For more discussion about sociopaths and sex see:
Eliot Spitzer and unrestricted sociosexual orientation
The psychopathic personality and human evolution
mommom
his dads older sister,Im guessing she had to have been 26,27 Yes there is incest in his family,sister brother,father daughter,spath just told me about a daughter he had 32 years ago with his first cousin.His Dad’s sisters daughter
mommom
Im not looking for excuses for his behaviour. I just find it very interesting. How a 7y/o can have psychopathy,being raped by an aunt had to be terrible. Spath ot not. His dad is very sick sexually too,he gaslights,my spath used to tell me (many years ago) about his dad taking and hiding things from him,gaslighting him. When I first figured out there was a name to what spath did to me, I asked him,How did you feel when your dad di this to you? He replied,it was horrible I felt like I was going crazy. I then asked him,then why are you doing this to me? Of course I was crazy and making it all up to get control over him in some way. He couldnt ever tell me where I was trying to control him.
mommom
I understand transference. He did to me something very painful emotionally,his dad did it to him. I guess I now understand why my daughter is showing the same signs as her father. It terrifys me. I feel terrible for my Grandkids and her husband.
hens
mommom – Incest and child abuse does not make a spath, but it sure can fuck up a life…..
mommom
Im going to hit the sack earlier tonight. Night all. Thank you for the love and support. Ill have you all in my prayers tonight.
KatyDid
Oh I see mommom, not a sister, an aunt. That’s rape and terrible, but doesn’t cause spath, just causes victimhood…
After figuring out my husband and all the terrible stuff that came from him, now I am trying to make sense of my daughter. She was eight when I let him adopt her but she does a lot that is right out of his play book, and as I face the truth (couldn’t do it before when I was trying to figure him out, it was just TOO MUCH), my grief is not a victimzing to myself but it is a much deeper primal pain. I gave birth to and sacrificed so much for a cruel self absorbed jerk daughter. VERY hard to accept.
It’s a lot to process mommom. I journaled a lot. If you aren’t do that, I recommend it. Helps to put form and sense to thoughts and stops me from overloading lovefraud readers.
For your grandkids, not much you can do but be a port in a storm and lots of hugs and kisses. that matters more than every thing else, more than money, things, trips, etc.
best, Katy
Joanie123
mommom: I believe spaths are born & not made but that’s my opinion. I’m sure there’s folks here who agree & don’t agree.
I think incest runs in dysfunctional families & it sounds like there could be more than one spath in your man’s family.
As far as being sexually active at a young age that is a very good possibility with spaths. They are wired different from us & I’ve heard this story several times about young spaths being sexually active.
ErinBrock
disturbed by several things i’ve read tonight…….
REALLY DISTURBED!
NEON red flags waving in the wind……..
ErinBrock
Eden, i’m sorry, i now can’t find your posts with questions of me from earlier.
If you know where you posted them can you post a link and I will answer again.
Sorry.
one/joy_step_at_a_time
update on crazy boy and db. i am awoken this am by the sound of the db’s voice on the porch taunting and mocking cb, denigrating him and trying to humiliate him. the police are here. trying to figure out what to do with this info. if i should call cb’s mom. as i don’t know yet how to use it, i will let it sit. i wanted to just go off to the garden again today.
if i say something to the mom, then if db stays he’ll have a bigger hate on for me; of course, my desire is to leverage it so that it helps him to go. it’s a wild card. he shouldn’t be picking on the cb – i understand that the db is frustrated because the cb IS harassing him (bless his heart) but picking on the sick kid is what bullies do. makes me glad i wrote the letter to the landlord about the db – because it is prior info on the dbaggy behavior of the db.