Aren’t you getting sick of hearing about all these politicians and other powerful people who can’t control themselves? Are you wondering if they are all just sociopaths? Are all sex addicts also sociopaths?
In the wake of my own dismay at the sheer number of sex crazed politicians, I wanted to share some thoughts with you.
First of all, one of the psychopathy researchers I respect the most is Dr. Grant Harris. He has written a seminal paper COERCIVE AND PRECOCIOUS SEXUALITY AS A FUNDAMENTAL ASPECT OF PSYCHOPATHY He says that promiscuous, coercive and precocious sex is central to the psychopathy syndrome. However, if you look at the statistics on the PCL-R the most studied method of assessing psychopathy, the two items related to sex have the lowest item correlations with the total score and do not even seem to be related strongly to Factor 2 of that test which is a measure of impulsivity. So there doesn’t seem to be a particularly strong relationship between psychopathy and sex addiction. By that I mean not every sociopath/psychopath is obviously a sex addict.
In his book The Mask of Sanity, Hervey Cleckley commented that “impersonal sex” is part of the syndrome. He also noted though that psychopaths didn’t seem to like sex all that much. Many victims I have interviewed have mentioned that. Sociopaths seem to view sex as a weapon to be used on another person or withheld from another person to hurt them.
As Donna pointed out earlier in the week, there is a strong link between sex motivation and the perception of power; there is also a link between a person’s drive for power and their drive for sex that may be related to testosterone.
When I think about Arnold, Anthony, Elliott and Bill, what I find most striking is their ability to do what I would call dissociate because I can’t think of another word for it. In the moment they are conceiving, tweeting, meeting in the hotel or messing on a dress, thoughts about their families and all of us seem to be completely gone from their minds.
Another great thinker about psychopathy is Robert Reiber, Ph.D. who I had the good fortune to chat with about this very topic in person several years ago. He thinks that this ability to dissociate is what makes a psychopath. When I asked him what he thought about the idea that psychopaths are “without conscience.” He replied, “Of course they have a conscience.” He thinks though they have an uncanny ability to dissociate from their conscience and their memories.
Neither the ideas of Harris nor Reiber bode well for our politicians. But I have learned a lesson from my dogs that might be useful here.
My daughter and I have three Ibizan Hounds, they are sight hounds who also have this uncanny ability to dissociate. When they are hunting small prey they become so focused on the moment they forget we are there and run off. We have been able to prevent this from happening through the use of training collars. We very much wanted them to be able to run free in the woods, so we had to figure out a safe way to get them to come back. They easily learned to come to us to avoid a mild shock that the collars deliver via a remote that has a one mile range. There is also a vibrate button, so after the dogs were trained, the warning vibration is all that is needed. But I have noticed that when they wear the collars they do not become as engrossed in the hunt and they readily come back to my voice. Without the collars, I can be shouting right next to them and they don’t hear me.
So the answer is simple, politicians should wear the collar, and their spouses can keep the remote!
For more discussion about sociopaths and sex see:
“My X is not a sex addict. For him it’s just a controlling mechanism. Now he has the internet to play on, I wouldn’t be surprised if he never had sexual contact again.”
One of the things I was surprised to learn about my x-spath was, according to his “personality profile” on a dating website, he is “less sexually” experienced.
While it is possible he answered some questions dishonestly, he did answer many, many questions and took many tests and the personality profile is not dependent upon any one answer.
Interestingly, that is just about the only positive quality about him in terms of the personality profile. Otherwise, he does not come across as a very nice person…
HIV / STI test is NEGATIVE guys…whoop whoop
candy:
Yay! Thank God!!! I am so happy for you!!
Candy ~ that’s wonderful news!!!
Behind Blue Eyes
What you said above was powerful – that nobody else so far was a good match except your spath – and that’s because he was who he thought you wanted him to be.
Very powerful.
I need to remember that.
SK;
His mirroring was exceptional and is what gave rise to my feeling I had found a “soulmate” even though I was by no means swept off my feet by him.
And those quirky behaviors and actions were just drama to distract me from underlying truths.
Everyone always talks about mirroring, but I don’t think my X spath mirrored me at all.
It wasn’t mirroring you; it was mirroring your dreams, wants and wishes back to you. He was taking your vulnerable emotional feelings and using them as a tool against you. To hurt you, etc.
“Mirroring” back to you everything you WANTED to hear; WANTED to believe. They are very skilled in manipulation and this is one of their tactics: ‘mirroring’ back to you everything you want to hear and want to believe and expect from them.
They can’t ever live up to what they are ‘mirroring’ so they try to ‘imitate’ it but it’s all an act. You surely can’t miss the warning signs once you see them: ‘plasticity’; shallowness; extreme hatefulness’s and resentments…all of it.
A person such as the spath I was involved with could be potentially dangerous to not just me. To anyone that gets in “It’s” path and does not do ‘it’s bidding’.
Just my experience….
Yes: mirroring to the maximus!
Hey, ever take a mirror and angle at the sun and reflect it upon something? It will start a fire, considering what you aim the refracted sun beam at…wonder if that works with spaths! 😉
I dont know if this is relevant or what the relevance is but my monster used to abuse me for days on end…then search sites for sex. you know like web cam and web cam chat…
get checked for HIV