Perhaps the hardest thing for those of us targeted by sociopaths to grasp is the extent of their inhumanity.
Sociopaths have no empathy. They do not feel connections to other human beings. We are mere pawns in their games. They view the world as predators and prey—they are the predators, everyone else is prey.
We ask, “How can this be?”
We object, “He said he loved me!” (“She said she loved me!”)
We argue, “I said I was leaving and he cried! He begged me to stay! He said he couldn’t live without me!” (The female sociopath did too.)
Well, let’s take a look at what their words really mean. A Lovefraud reader visited Sociopathworld.com. “They had a discussion going on things they said but what they actually meant to them,” she wrote.
Here’s what our reader sent:
The Cheat-Sheet for What a Sociopath Really Means
1. I love you: I am fond of your companionship and put you above most, but never above me. Consider it an honor.
2. I’m sorry, forgive me: I really do not enjoy the fact that your mood has altered. Please revert back to normal.
3. I’d do anything for you: I’d do plenty to keep you right where I want you to be.
4. My condolences for your loss: *crickets* … It’s just a body. See you later when you aren’t being an emotional train-wreck.
5. S/he fills my heart with joy: I haven’t had this much fun playing in a long time, and the sex is more than acceptable.
6. I love my family: They’re mine.
7. That’s simply shocking: You’ve touched my morbid bone. No need to stop now…
8. Deep down, I feel I’m a good person: I’m not in prison and I stopped abusing animals, mostly. What more can you possibly demand of me?
9. I’m not a monster, I’m a human too: I’m trying to seem human, give me a break. It’s not like this is particularly natural for me.
10. I have feelings too: I feel frustrated when your feelings get in my way.
11. I wouldn’t lie to you: I lie to you every time I say I wouldn’t lie to you.
12. I understand/respect your feelings: I appreciate your feelings because I use them to manipulate you.
13. I never meant to hurt you: mission accomplished.
14. I want to work things out: I want to work things out for today.
15. I’ll always be there for you: I’ll try to as long as I need something from you
Remember this: Never evaluate the words or actions of a sociopath based on what you mean by your words and actions. For a sociopath, it’s all about manipulation.
one/joy_step_at_a_time
i loved it!
one/joy_step_at_a_time
peace out all. xo
skylar
Hens,
don’t respond to him, and especially don’t respond to him with any emotionally weighted words like, “forgiveness”, “hope”, “giving up” or “the past could’ve been”!!!
Those are DRAMA words and they suck them up and refuse to detach. You will make him soooo happy with words like that.
Remember to be a gray rock.
If you must respond, say, “someone made a joke and laughed, so naturally I assumed they were talking about you. Because you’re the biggest joke I know. My bad.”
hens
thanx skylar – i wont respond at all – i am calmed down now – sorry for all my drama..
skylar
No need to be sorry henry. we have all been there done that.
hens
sky 3 years is along time to not know if he is even alive or in the same city… i just wanted to know if he was with this dood he left me for, he is not, so I feel better about that as sick as it sounds there is some comfort in knowing he is single and not living with the white pickiet fence etc…this will pass
geminigirl
As the boa constrictor said after hed eaten a whole calf,”This too shall pass!”.
Not taking the Mickey, hens, just trying to make you smile!
Believe me, weve all been there! I know I have!
We all love you hens, you dont need any more of this slime ball!!.Glad you kicked him to the kerb .If hes like my spath daughters, they totally confuse kindness with weakness.
{HUGS!}}
Gem.XX
ErinBrock
Hens:
Darlen……If we fish in the sewer we’re gonna catch shiat!
Stick with the don’t ask, don’t know policy…….
and DELETE those old accounts! DELETE THEM FROM THE CARRIER…..
Decide when your ready…..and just do it.
Weigh the info you got, vs. the emotions it dug up…….turn this into a win for you Hens……process and let go.
XXOO
EB
skylar
yep Gem,
We are kind to them to a fault and they see nothing but a weak prey.
That’s why the bully must be responded to with strength, it makes them back down and respect us. It’s the only thing the spath understands: authority.
It comes from their childhood need to manipulate the authorities (parents) to do their bidding.
geminigirl
Kimmie, I still didnt get an email from you, so I guess your daughter hasnt arrived at you place yet.
Will wait till tomorrow to get it, then take the envelope to the Post.lotsa Love, Gem.XX