Perhaps the hardest thing for those of us targeted by sociopaths to grasp is the extent of their inhumanity.
Sociopaths have no empathy. They do not feel connections to other human beings. We are mere pawns in their games. They view the world as predators and prey—they are the predators, everyone else is prey.
We ask, “How can this be?”
We object, “He said he loved me!” (“She said she loved me!”)
We argue, “I said I was leaving and he cried! He begged me to stay! He said he couldn’t live without me!” (The female sociopath did too.)
Well, let’s take a look at what their words really mean. A Lovefraud reader visited Sociopathworld.com. “They had a discussion going on things they said but what they actually meant to them,” she wrote.
Here’s what our reader sent:
The Cheat-Sheet for What a Sociopath Really Means
1. I love you: I am fond of your companionship and put you above most, but never above me. Consider it an honor.
2. I’m sorry, forgive me: I really do not enjoy the fact that your mood has altered. Please revert back to normal.
3. I’d do anything for you: I’d do plenty to keep you right where I want you to be.
4. My condolences for your loss: *crickets* … It’s just a body. See you later when you aren’t being an emotional train-wreck.
5. S/he fills my heart with joy: I haven’t had this much fun playing in a long time, and the sex is more than acceptable.
6. I love my family: They’re mine.
7. That’s simply shocking: You’ve touched my morbid bone. No need to stop now…
8. Deep down, I feel I’m a good person: I’m not in prison and I stopped abusing animals, mostly. What more can you possibly demand of me?
9. I’m not a monster, I’m a human too: I’m trying to seem human, give me a break. It’s not like this is particularly natural for me.
10. I have feelings too: I feel frustrated when your feelings get in my way.
11. I wouldn’t lie to you: I lie to you every time I say I wouldn’t lie to you.
12. I understand/respect your feelings: I appreciate your feelings because I use them to manipulate you.
13. I never meant to hurt you: mission accomplished.
14. I want to work things out: I want to work things out for today.
15. I’ll always be there for you: I’ll try to as long as I need something from you
Remember this: Never evaluate the words or actions of a sociopath based on what you mean by your words and actions. For a sociopath, it’s all about manipulation.
ErinBrock
Gem:
I’m not sure Kimmie has moved into her cute cottage yet. Her D went back to the hub and isnt moving ……
That was the last post I saw from Kim.
kim frederick
Hi Guys. Gem, I went home early yesterday….my daughter was in a hurry. But I will ask her to help this afternoon.
EB’s right, I haven’t moved in yet, but hopefully this week-end.
Hope everyone is doing well, this beautifull morning!
czarinamom
aussiegirl: definitely report your ex for insurance fraud. I know of someone that committed fraud and the “whistle blower” received money from the insurance company for bringing this to their attention. The guy who commited the fraud – he was sentenced for fraud, had to pay the money back (good luck on that one) and now has a jail record. No pity there. I wish you luck.
I did the same thing to my ex – for fraud. He was trying to get a DOT CDL license waiver due to his eyesight. He applied to Washington, DC with forged papers. I got the fax number of the place and faxed them a letter for them to investigate and have him prove with various other papers that the information he provided was legit. He could not. He was pissed to say the least (we were together then and he did not know I did this). When anyone Googles his name – the only thing that comes up is he tried to fraud the US Government. HA!!!
ErinBrock
Kimmie:
I envision your cottage right out of the Peter Rabbit stories……
with the lace curtains and you sitting in the chair knitting away.
Aahhhh……I’m excited for your new beginning!
soimnotthecrazee1
Kimmie,
I’m on board with EB!!! Excited for you!!!
Ox Drover
Kimmie,
I will be thinking of you this weekend. How exciting!!!! I’m sure there’s some “scary” too—but independence is kind of scary! Exciting, but scary at the same time!
You’re gonna do just fine Kim! I know you can!!!! ((((hugs))))
kim frederick
Thanks, EB, soimnotcrazy, and Oxy. The electricity is turned on, the water, sewage and garbage is in service, in my name. I will be moving some stuff tonight, and some tomorrow. I am excited…and happy, but yes, am just a little afraid of becoming isolated and feeling very lonely. I don’t think that will happen, as I continue to see my younger daughter 5 days a week and take care of the two toddlers. At the end of the day, I’m tired and ready for some solitude. I mentioned before that there’s a library near by, and a farmers market, also lots of antique markets, so I think I’ll be abe to stay busy on the week-ends.
I so wish I could order the perfect braid-rug, and pick out some frilly curtains, and 2 wooden rockers…but then again, half the fun will be in shopping for each peice and slowly but surely turning into my own special, and unique place.
Easy does it.
Can’t wait for Pinky to see it. He’s gonna love the fire place.
“Puuuurrrrrrrrrr”.
one/joy_step_at_a_time
i need to vent – the spath has hacked more accounts. stressor #1
i am tired, i worked all weekend. stressor #2
i am NOT handling stress well. I just got an email from a business contact complaining about the terseness of my emails (an email which will end up on the company’s server- the guy is an asshole, BUT it doesn’t matter)…i am really worried. I don’t handle stress well – i can’t figure out how to modulate my voice or how i am interacting with anyone, and i am trying. so hard. i may get fired over this ultimately – things i used to do as a matter of course are now beyond me. this guy says one thing to my president and i am screwed. and you all know that’s not the word i wanted to use.
YesIt'sMe
RomanticFool,
you get a standing O from me on your translations! Donna should fold them into her original SP translations! Hey, there should be a compilation of them all, & it should be posted on the homepage with the description of “what a sociopath is!” Those translations do more to describe them to me that all the little online lists I’ve seen of “10 ways to recognize a sociopath!”
AussieGirl,
I hope you stick around, even if there’s too much “on the boil”! Your insights are really too much. I know my mother was a Narcissist, & like others have said, my daddy was a good man, just totally unable to express love or even have ONE father-daughter talk ever….I used to say that I thot Daddy & I had probly exchanged no more than 5000 words in my life. Your saying that we “little girls” needed love made me sad enuf, but I almost cried over your description of the Nothingness we’re left with:
“It’s a real double-whammy ”“ not only do we go through the conventional grieving process but on top of that is this vacant, hollow, nebulous black hole filled with”..just the nothing that has replaced everything we thought we had and lost. How to grieve a black hole full of wispy nothing? It’s like staring into a mirror and nobody staring back or yelling in a canyon, only to have the sound disappear immediately ”“ no echo, no vibrations, not even the wind whistling past. Just an enormous, vaccuous non-existent nothingness.
Then how to cope with grieving a non-existent, intangible thing that has no reflection nor any echo? How to stop feeling the pain of losing what you never had?”
And, yeah, Oxy & Aussie,
I think we all must have ’bout near drowned our keyboards here at least several times…..just realizing that we’re Not crazy, & that something Rilly Bad did happen to us, & that somebody Rilly Understands! And that, by golly, we like them & they like us!! TG for LF!
jazzy129
one step, I have always marched to the beat of a different drummer, and had a hard time dealing with the good ‘ole boy rules in business. Also was never into office parties or other functions….I just wanted to do my job…do it well…and go home. I had a 2nd job….a freelance job doing my artwork, and would not give that up.
I got injured on the job, and was ‘laid off’….basically fired with severance pay after almost 10 years.
you have to be true to yourself. No matter what happens. I am so sorry you are so stressed right now.
Also sorry the spath has hacked into your accounts. No wonder you are stressed. Isn’t hacking into personal accounts against the law?