Perhaps the hardest thing for those of us targeted by sociopaths to grasp is the extent of their inhumanity.
Sociopaths have no empathy. They do not feel connections to other human beings. We are mere pawns in their games. They view the world as predators and prey—they are the predators, everyone else is prey.
We ask, “How can this be?”
We object, “He said he loved me!” (“She said she loved me!”)
We argue, “I said I was leaving and he cried! He begged me to stay! He said he couldn’t live without me!” (The female sociopath did too.)
Well, let’s take a look at what their words really mean. A Lovefraud reader visited Sociopathworld.com. “They had a discussion going on things they said but what they actually meant to them,” she wrote.
Here’s what our reader sent:
The Cheat-Sheet for What a Sociopath Really Means
1. I love you: I am fond of your companionship and put you above most, but never above me. Consider it an honor.
2. I’m sorry, forgive me: I really do not enjoy the fact that your mood has altered. Please revert back to normal.
3. I’d do anything for you: I’d do plenty to keep you right where I want you to be.
4. My condolences for your loss: *crickets* … It’s just a body. See you later when you aren’t being an emotional train-wreck.
5. S/he fills my heart with joy: I haven’t had this much fun playing in a long time, and the sex is more than acceptable.
6. I love my family: They’re mine.
7. That’s simply shocking: You’ve touched my morbid bone. No need to stop now…
8. Deep down, I feel I’m a good person: I’m not in prison and I stopped abusing animals, mostly. What more can you possibly demand of me?
9. I’m not a monster, I’m a human too: I’m trying to seem human, give me a break. It’s not like this is particularly natural for me.
10. I have feelings too: I feel frustrated when your feelings get in my way.
11. I wouldn’t lie to you: I lie to you every time I say I wouldn’t lie to you.
12. I understand/respect your feelings: I appreciate your feelings because I use them to manipulate you.
13. I never meant to hurt you: mission accomplished.
14. I want to work things out: I want to work things out for today.
15. I’ll always be there for you: I’ll try to as long as I need something from you
Remember this: Never evaluate the words or actions of a sociopath based on what you mean by your words and actions. For a sociopath, it’s all about manipulation.
AMEN! to that Sister OXY!, I agree that no one religion has the blueprint on Wisdom, but if you were raised in the JudeoChristian tradition,{as you and I were} it seems to be the one we turn to the most for help when we are in trouble, or just need inspiration. By th e way, did you know that the word”Inspiration” comes from the greek, Pneumo-which means to breathe in! Breathe in the Holy Ghost or Holy Breath! I love it.
lately, Ive been thinking a lot about Ecclesiastes,
ya, know”,To every thing, there is a season”,
“A time to live,and a time to die.
A time to reap, and a time to sow.
A time to embrace,
Anda time to REFRAIN from embracing.
A time to build up, and
A time to TEAR DOWN{false beliefs?}
A time to garner the wheat into barns.
All so true, its a ll about timing, and about knowing our limitations. A time to get a way from spaths and let them work out their OWN salvation.
Another Goodie, the word “Enthusiasm,” comes from
“En Theos,” literally” within the glowing Heart of God!”
And Understanding, means ,literally, to stand under someone, ie, place him/.her on your shoulders, and carry them!
the word “Remember” is an amazing one.
It comes from the Ancient Egyptians.
Osiris, the God of Egypt, was killed by Seth, he was “dismemberd’, and parts of him were scattered all over Egypt. His wife, or Queen/consort, Isis,was distraught. She succeeded in finding all his bits except one, his sacred Phallus.{Symbol of the fertility of the River Nile.} Eventually , it was found, and Isis” Re-Membered” him.!!Put his member back on!!
WOW! I love all this stuff,I love, Greek and Roman mythology, especially.
Did you also know the Latin word for the Genus, Spider, is Arachnidaceae.
Arachnid comes from the goddess Ariadne,, who trailed a spiders web of cotton thread thru the labarynth,when she was captured by the Minotaur. Perseus followed the thread,{or web}, rescued Ariadne, and slew the Minotaur,{half Bull, half man} at the centre of the Labrynth.Probably also where we get the word Persistence, after Perseus!
Old teachers never die, they just lose their class!
Love, Mama gem.XX
YOU GO GEMINI!!!!! WOW!!! I HAVE TO REREAD THAT POST TO WRAP MY HEAD AROUND IT!!!!
MAMA GEM, YOU GO GIRL,,,,,YOU GO GIRL!!!
Dear Gem,
I love the old greek and Roman myths and stories too….and the poetry and wisdom of the Bible and other old texts. So many of our words come from these old stories and texts.
The thing that was (I think it by One step) put up about SCAPE GOAT (the wiki article) was good too….some of the stuff I knew about from Jewish history about the goat carrying the sins of the people, but not all the details of the way the word evolved and the meanings as they changed.
“Old nurses never die, we just lose our patience!”
You are right there is definitely a TIME for everything, and I think NOW is as good a time as there is for doing good things for ourselves!
In my shopping trip yesterday I spent several hours in a big fancy grocery store besides the usual discount store I go to, and went through all their organic and fresh produce and bought some, and I also found some very LOW FAT ice cream that had almost no sodium in it and just having even a small taste of low calorie/low sodium ice cream was such a TREAT! So I felt really SPECIAL last night and tonight after supper to have just that nice little rich flavor (strawberry)! I cooked all afternoon and walked about a mile and a half and just had a really wonderful day! Tonight is “coolish” (not cold or freezing) but tomorrow will be nice! Henry’s right, the moon is so bright you can see your shadow! Moon hugs back at you bro! {{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}
could some of us be an spath ourself and think we don’t know it?
It is not unusual for two personality disordered individuals to “hook up” and to try to prey on each other, with the “loser” in the power struggle presenting themselves as a “victim” of the other one.
It has been referred to as a “gasoline and fire” relationship and I think that is VERY DESCRIPTIVE of the kind of relationship that two psychopaths have with each other.
That is why I am in real life fairly cautious now about assuming that someone is “legitimate” when they present themselves as a “victim”–and I have actually been hoodwinked a time or two, but I KEEP MY CAUTION LIGHT LIT.
On LoveFraud, I generally ASSUME that a person is a legitimate victim until proven otherwise, and they will usually OUT themselves, but on line it is more difficult to tell what is “real” and what is “not real”—that is why on-line dating is so dangerous because we “fill in the blanks” between what is posted on line and what we think or want to think. We feel closer to and develop relationships with people at a distance who are NOT REAL.
As One-step about this, the relationship on OUR part IS REAL, but the relationshit on THEIR PART is total fabrication.
When I meet someone I don’t dis-trust them, but I don’t TRUST them either, I am now NEUTRAL, but CAUTIOUS. Prior to this episode I tended to give people the benefit of the doubt and to give people “second” (and third and 10th, and 100th) chances, but no more. At the FIRST SIGN of any kind of dishonesty, I pull back ALL TRUST and that person will not get the chance to “get to me”—emotionally or financially or any other way because my boundaries and guards are up.
So yes, there are people who are psychopaths who pose as Victims, and that is one of their FAVORITE cons. “Oh, pity me, my mother was so harsh to me, my ex was a crazy biatch and no one loves me, I’m gonna go eat worms unless you ALONE can save me—wahhhhhh wahhhhhh”
SoIm Nt Crzee
{See! Ive shortened it for you, sis! No probs!}
No! Hell,No! WEre not spaths!WTF!!
Its taken us 3 quarters of our lives to escape these morons!
Were just starting to hve FUN,{spelled f-U-N!!} and ENJOY ourselves without these sh–heads in our lives!
Are you Crazee, gal?? {{HUGS!!!}}
Mama gem.xx
Ive felt so much better since my frontal Lobotomy, LOL!!
Have you heard the saying,
“Everybodys crazy except me and thee,
And Im not too sure about thee!”
mama gemXX
I recall saying after a callous apology “You’re not sorry or remorseful for what pain you caused – you’re just sorry you got caught.” Or “Your just sorry that you have to be bothered by my reaction.”
I recently disclosed that I was going to a service for a friend’s young daughter. He was supposed to pick up the children at 5:30. Hewas late. He was never late before. Yes, he was glad I shared my feelings earlier in the day – it gave him the power to manipulate me. I was vulnerable and he decided to pull out his dagger. He lied and said he was at the nursing home (doctors can’t see patients after 5 pm” Then he lied he was in traffic. Then for the first time in 4 years -a day he knew I dreaded – he brought his bimbo girlfriend – had her take my 2 young children out of the car. Said “you know X- why don’t you say hello?” I didn’t make it to the service. Devastaed that I must live 14 more years like this (my youngest won’t be 18 until then). I can heal from past painful memories but he creates more all the time. There is no way to escape his imprisonment besides death.
Carla, darling, NO,NO No! YOU DONT have to live another 14 years with this prick. Make a plan, to GET THE HELL OUT as soon as possible! God does NOT want you to live this way, in mental anguish. NO! YOU MUST GET OUT!!
Start now, to make a plan. Set up a separate savings account in your name only. Try to get a part time job, even if its nights,
would he babysit his own kids, could you trust him to do it?
I left with just the clothes on my back, my mistake was waiting till my younger daughter was 17.Too late. I shoul d have done it years before.
You say, “There is no way to escape this imprisonment, besides death. Whose death, yours?NO WAY! You need to pick your self esteem of the floor, and start planning your future with your kids, girl!How old are they?They dont deserve to livein this atmosphere of hate and tension either.
There IS a way out, believe me!
Love, mama Gem.XX
Wow……Thanks everyone for your feedback.
Don’t know what possessed me last night…..I guess I may be gearing up to start my book. Testing myself……I don’t know….
I’m glad you enjoyed it……it was certainly heartfelt from me to you all.
If I did leave anyone out…..I am so sorry, please don’t take it as your not important!…..I racked my brain and scoured the threads….and updated and edited it today with a few things…..
Boink me if I left you out…….
XXOO
EB