Perhaps the hardest thing for those of us targeted by sociopaths to grasp is the extent of their inhumanity.
Sociopaths have no empathy. They do not feel connections to other human beings. We are mere pawns in their games. They view the world as predators and prey—they are the predators, everyone else is prey.
We ask, “How can this be?”
We object, “He said he loved me!” (“She said she loved me!”)
We argue, “I said I was leaving and he cried! He begged me to stay! He said he couldn’t live without me!” (The female sociopath did too.)
Well, let’s take a look at what their words really mean. A Lovefraud reader visited Sociopathworld.com. “They had a discussion going on things they said but what they actually meant to them,” she wrote.
Here’s what our reader sent:
The Cheat-Sheet for What a Sociopath Really Means
1. I love you: I am fond of your companionship and put you above most, but never above me. Consider it an honor.
2. I’m sorry, forgive me: I really do not enjoy the fact that your mood has altered. Please revert back to normal.
3. I’d do anything for you: I’d do plenty to keep you right where I want you to be.
4. My condolences for your loss: *crickets* … It’s just a body. See you later when you aren’t being an emotional train-wreck.
5. S/he fills my heart with joy: I haven’t had this much fun playing in a long time, and the sex is more than acceptable.
6. I love my family: They’re mine.
7. That’s simply shocking: You’ve touched my morbid bone. No need to stop now…
8. Deep down, I feel I’m a good person: I’m not in prison and I stopped abusing animals, mostly. What more can you possibly demand of me?
9. I’m not a monster, I’m a human too: I’m trying to seem human, give me a break. It’s not like this is particularly natural for me.
10. I have feelings too: I feel frustrated when your feelings get in my way.
11. I wouldn’t lie to you: I lie to you every time I say I wouldn’t lie to you.
12. I understand/respect your feelings: I appreciate your feelings because I use them to manipulate you.
13. I never meant to hurt you: mission accomplished.
14. I want to work things out: I want to work things out for today.
15. I’ll always be there for you: I’ll try to as long as I need something from you
Remember this: Never evaluate the words or actions of a sociopath based on what you mean by your words and actions. For a sociopath, it’s all about manipulation.
carla, hi there, can you tell us more about your situation? I agree with geminigirl that you need to get out and that there is a way out, you don’t have to live in pain, you can post here and perhaps get some ideas on what you can do, maybe you could call a domestic abuse center/shelter and at least talk to them about what choices you have or maybe they can give you a referral… this is emotional abuse, you just need some help with this, I’m glad you found this website, lots of caring, supportive people here, people who have been through the same thing you are going through, don’t give up hope, don’t give up anything, please write again. God Bless.
Uh Hens…..that isn’t the moon…..that’s your FUTURE babycakes!
🙂
EB, I have been gone for a couple of days, gonna read the poem now!
Wow, fabulous! I really think you are a good writer!
Will love to read you book someday!!!!
MammaGem……that Labotomy really worked wonders…..It sounds as if Carla IS out…..she’s just sharing custody now.
Eaaaasy there girl! 🙂
You always make me laugh……I have a visual of you when I think of you.
I have spent the day preparing for the 10 year storm……SHIT……the high winds started last night……and the snow started around 7pm. We are due 3-6 feet at LOW elevations!!!!!!
Holy shiznit……
I’m prepared, got the gas in the snowblowers, got one delivered to my rental for easy access……got the clients all set up and battened down…..got the wood on the hearth, and the heater reved up…..the shovels out and the wine ready!!!!
The plows are hitting the streets already……it’ll be round the clock till Monday/Tuesday……yep Oxy……no sun here….it’ll be storm central!!!! Wanna visit? 🙂
BRING IT ON BABY!!!!!!!
EB, we’re just getting rain down here and they have “Storm Watch” on the news, what a joke. They were talking on the news about the snow you are going to get up there, WOW! You sound prepared for just about anything these days!! I was down in Oceanside for a couple of days, so I got me some traffic, ocean, breeze, and some little tiny mountains (if they can even be called mountains, more like large mounds of dirt to you, lol).
Hi, EB Darlin, sounds like youve really got your MOXY goin on!!
Just imagine if youd had this much MOXy when the cancer hit you, youd have blasted these cancer calls to KINGDOM COME!
No wonder they left, screaming!!BRING HER ON BABY!!
EB, your an IMSPIRATION! you always remind me of the ancient celtic Queen Boadicea,{or BOUDICCA, as the right spelling is.} she use d to ride around in a chariot with antler horns fixed to the wheels!Different kind of screaming Queens!
Or to the ancient Amazons, a race of female warriors, who cut off their right breasts because they got in the way of their bow and arrows in battle!
Once you find your MOXY, theres NO GOING BACK! and Im just getting warmed up now!! Yea, NO_ONE messes with Mama Gem no more!!
Spaths, no longer welcome in da house!
I may be an old bat, but Im getting to be a SMART old bat!Like Oxy! TOWANDA fo us old bats!
Love, mama gem.XX
Queen Bodacious……..I like that. It was Bodacious right?????
I do have to say……
I ain’t trading these tits for NOTHING!!!! 🙂
The closest I have to antlers would be my Devil horns……I keep em on me wherever my chariot takes me….i’ve transfered them to my sled for this weekend?
Ya just never know when you need to call on those horns….keep em close baby, keep em close!
XXOO
QB 🙂
Chic….
I remember as a kid, we’d go down to the flood control to Seal Beach and ride the rapids……can you say STUPID??? Not to mention YUK.
A few times, when the storm drains backed up, our street would flood and we’d get out the blow up rafts and Kayaks and cruise around the neighborhoods with all the neighbor kids……
I don’t really remember what a storm watch ‘means’ down in cityville?
I like the fish and chip shop at Oceanside Harbor. When I ‘had’ family……and went down for X-mas….we’d all meet at the Harbor on ‘Boxing day’ with the kids to play on the beach and then on to F&C’s.
Are those hills you speak of Fallbrook…….or San Onofre beach area that military base…..CRS set in!
I guess those days are gone……..
It’s imperative i’m prepared……or your buried in snow…..and that just sucks!!!!
I took the gas cans to fill up…..and the news was interviewing a man pumping gas…..I thought Oh NO…..they are going to see my snowblower on the back of my truck, on a hitch and me filling up my two cans and want to interview……and I looked like HOLY SHIZNIT…….Thank god they moved along.
The guy came over to me, as I was wrestling with the gas cap thingy……and just stood there and watched me wrestle…..I couldn’t even open up a plastic lid to a gas can! Geeze….NOT a good start.
I went over to two men and announced…..I NEED A MAN….they looked at each other and smiled as one stepped towards me…..We all laughed….the funny thing was, the other one said…..I’ll be your man…..looked up and realized it was ‘me’. His son works for me. I said, Mario, I’d take you but I know your wife!!! 🙂
I’ll I have to say is…..thank GOD I moved down the hill from 8900 feet!!!! talk about snow there…..i’d be sunk and haten life if I still lived up in the boonies.
Glad you got away for a few days Chic…..one day I’m gonna make it down, and your on my list to see!!!
ErinBrock: The opposite here. Oppressive heat, sweaty, sultry stuff (and it’s only Spring!). Think I’d actually enjoy a little snow right about now…
Truelove: Poor, poor darling. xxxxx. I, too, weep on the anniversaries of when my only 2 children were lost, as well as around the times that they should have been born (5 years apart). I’m getting a bit long in the tooth now and I have so many health issues, that I know it is highly unlikely that I will ever get to be a mother now. 2 years ago, I was part-way through an application to foster children in need, but along came more hassles from the spath plus a breast tumour plus what doctors thought at first was Chronic Fatigue but now have decided is Fybromyalgia instead. So – hardly able to scrape myself together some days, let alone care for needy children. I had to withdraw my name and it hurt like hell. Maybe one day….
As for cutting the non-friends from your life, I have my grandmother’s autograph book (from the 1920s through 1940s). It’s very quaint. One saying I remember that somebody wrote in it: “True friends are like diamonds, precious and rare; false ones are like autumn leaves, scattered everywhere…”
The good thing about losing the excess baggage from your life is that it frees you up to spend more quality time doing things to nourish your soul and to hang with those whose companionship is gold.
Soimnotthecrazy1: YOU are CLEARLY NOT a spath honey, or you wouldn’t have asked the question. Spaths don’t wonder if they might be – they think that there is nothing wrong with them. xx.
Carla: more details, when you are ready. Geminigirl and shabbychic are right – somebody on here (and probably several somebodies, actually) will know how to help you in ways you haven’t even thought of yet (besides, when we are at the point that you are obviously at, everything is scary and it’s soooooooo difficult to trust our own judgement and/or to think straight). We are here and we are listening and there is no pressure, only concern. Deep breaths. xxx