Perhaps the hardest thing for those of us targeted by sociopaths to grasp is the extent of their inhumanity.
Sociopaths have no empathy. They do not feel connections to other human beings. We are mere pawns in their games. They view the world as predators and prey—they are the predators, everyone else is prey.
We ask, “How can this be?”
We object, “He said he loved me!” (“She said she loved me!”)
We argue, “I said I was leaving and he cried! He begged me to stay! He said he couldn’t live without me!” (The female sociopath did too.)
Well, let’s take a look at what their words really mean. A Lovefraud reader visited Sociopathworld.com. “They had a discussion going on things they said but what they actually meant to them,” she wrote.
Here’s what our reader sent:
The Cheat-Sheet for What a Sociopath Really Means
1. I love you: I am fond of your companionship and put you above most, but never above me. Consider it an honor.
2. I’m sorry, forgive me: I really do not enjoy the fact that your mood has altered. Please revert back to normal.
3. I’d do anything for you: I’d do plenty to keep you right where I want you to be.
4. My condolences for your loss: *crickets* … It’s just a body. See you later when you aren’t being an emotional train-wreck.
5. S/he fills my heart with joy: I haven’t had this much fun playing in a long time, and the sex is more than acceptable.
6. I love my family: They’re mine.
7. That’s simply shocking: You’ve touched my morbid bone. No need to stop now…
8. Deep down, I feel I’m a good person: I’m not in prison and I stopped abusing animals, mostly. What more can you possibly demand of me?
9. I’m not a monster, I’m a human too: I’m trying to seem human, give me a break. It’s not like this is particularly natural for me.
10. I have feelings too: I feel frustrated when your feelings get in my way.
11. I wouldn’t lie to you: I lie to you every time I say I wouldn’t lie to you.
12. I understand/respect your feelings: I appreciate your feelings because I use them to manipulate you.
13. I never meant to hurt you: mission accomplished.
14. I want to work things out: I want to work things out for today.
15. I’ll always be there for you: I’ll try to as long as I need something from you
Remember this: Never evaluate the words or actions of a sociopath based on what you mean by your words and actions. For a sociopath, it’s all about manipulation.
Thanks Ox!
I already have a file that I had with me in court, but I did not have that particular email. We did bust him in a lie in court on monday. I was priceless. His attorney pulled a date out of the sky and asked him how much he had my daughter with him in June 2009… he said 2 to 3 wks…. im sure it was 3 weeks , umm yeah i would say about 2 wks at least… yeah, 2 wks. He asked him and she was with you and spent the night at your house…he said yes… did you take her to school and pick her up all that time…he said yes.
I handed my attorney the sign in/ out log from the school for June 2009. I had copied every log from June 2000 to present. So she asked him , if he was familar with the log in/ out process. He said , yes but he doesnt always follow it bc he has a personal relationship w/ the director b/c i taught her son spanish for 6,7 and 8th grade, so sometimes I dont follow policy. She handed him the log and asked him how many days he signed her in and out since he had her for 2-3 weeks …he flip and flipped and flipped thru the logs and said , I dont see my name on here….all i see is HER name and a bunch of people who I dont even know. And anyway, she has a close personal relationship with the director of the daycare. BUSTED!
My daughter is only 3 so she can’t testify altho she could def speak to what happens when she is with him, what he does etc. She told me recently that she wanted to read at his house but he didnt have any books. He said in court that they read together. He has her do nothing but watch TV and movies…. and couldnt tell my attorney anything that they do together except eat icecream.
Dear Freedom,
GOOD FOR YOU!!!! Bust him in as many lies as possible. Make sure that you STRESS that “policy” should be followed for the CHILD’s SAFETY and that YOU always follow policy! Maybe even get the “director” to testify….whatever you have to do to prove him a LIAR!
They can get caught in their own snare! Good luck!
Yikes!
Hey, how do I delete a comment?
Stupid me, I didn’t think of that when I put his full name in there! Help!
I don’t know how I would go on without my children. They are the reason that I can keep going. I’m very sorry to hear about the kidnapping of EB’s children. Have they been returned? I pray that they have! How did you deal with that???? I don’t know how but I guess it’s the same way that we’ve all dealt with our situations…by the grace of the Most High. They say that he doesn’t put any more on us than we are able to handle. I will continue to pray for you all……..please, do the same for me.
WhyMe,
If you want to make an adjustment to your message, click the “Click to Edit” button (below your post), then make corrections, deleting your ex- boyfriend’s name. You could also click the “Request Deletion” button, but I find that takes a while to be accepted, fully deleted.
WhyMe,
I hope the above post helps, clearing your post of his name.
Dear Freedom,
Erin B got her kids back, but I am sure it was a rough go. I saw on the news where some boys (3) were returned finally after a couple of years to their mothers in the US,, the fathers, brothers, had kidnapped the 3 kids and taken them out of the country (*US) and sometimes people don’t get their kids back, or they find them after adulthood. In a way, I sort of understand how the parents must feel, not sure though, but I felt like my “wonderful baby” had been kidnapped when he grew into an adult monster/murderer! I felt like his photo would be on a milk carton, but in reality, I can’t imagine how Jaycee Dugard’s mother felt or how others like Elizabeth Smart’s family must have felt or the little Morgan Nick from Arkansas who was abducted (and is probably dead) but NOT knowing if they are dead or alive or if they are being abused, has got to be worse than I can even imagine.
I used to worry about someone hurting my adult son in prison (and it is a violent place, obviously) and he has been beaten and God alone knows what else—but HE IS THE ONE WHO PUT HIMSELF THERE, I tried my best to keep him from criminal activities, and that kind of treatment in prison is the consequence of him murdering a young woman. His CHOICE, not mine. Actually, whatever happens to him he has coming and I imagine that the girl’s parents feel that way for sure. Their daughter is dead, but she no longer suffers at least. I would trade places with them in a heart beat.
Ox. wow…. that’s deep! The things that we have all suffered..unimaginable! I’m really happy to hear that EB got her children back. That makes me realize that i REALLY need to have all of this in order and make sure that the court understands how crazy this guy is. If he takes my child…..i’m going to prison!!!
I’m sorry to hear about your son and the young lady’s family. I don’t even know what to say about you saying that you would trade places with them. ((((((( Ox ))))))))