Perhaps the hardest thing for those of us targeted by sociopaths to grasp is the extent of their inhumanity.
Sociopaths have no empathy. They do not feel connections to other human beings. We are mere pawns in their games. They view the world as predators and prey—they are the predators, everyone else is prey.
We ask, “How can this be?”
We object, “He said he loved me!” (“She said she loved me!”)
We argue, “I said I was leaving and he cried! He begged me to stay! He said he couldn’t live without me!” (The female sociopath did too.)
Well, let’s take a look at what their words really mean. A Lovefraud reader visited Sociopathworld.com. “They had a discussion going on things they said but what they actually meant to them,” she wrote.
Here’s what our reader sent:
The Cheat-Sheet for What a Sociopath Really Means
1. I love you: I am fond of your companionship and put you above most, but never above me. Consider it an honor.
2. I’m sorry, forgive me: I really do not enjoy the fact that your mood has altered. Please revert back to normal.
3. I’d do anything for you: I’d do plenty to keep you right where I want you to be.
4. My condolences for your loss: *crickets* … It’s just a body. See you later when you aren’t being an emotional train-wreck.
5. S/he fills my heart with joy: I haven’t had this much fun playing in a long time, and the sex is more than acceptable.
6. I love my family: They’re mine.
7. That’s simply shocking: You’ve touched my morbid bone. No need to stop now…
8. Deep down, I feel I’m a good person: I’m not in prison and I stopped abusing animals, mostly. What more can you possibly demand of me?
9. I’m not a monster, I’m a human too: I’m trying to seem human, give me a break. It’s not like this is particularly natural for me.
10. I have feelings too: I feel frustrated when your feelings get in my way.
11. I wouldn’t lie to you: I lie to you every time I say I wouldn’t lie to you.
12. I understand/respect your feelings: I appreciate your feelings because I use them to manipulate you.
13. I never meant to hurt you: mission accomplished.
14. I want to work things out: I want to work things out for today.
15. I’ll always be there for you: I’ll try to as long as I need something from you
Remember this: Never evaluate the words or actions of a sociopath based on what you mean by your words and actions. For a sociopath, it’s all about manipulation.
jazzy129
Soul mate! Ha! 2 months after i kicked the spath-hole out, after he slandered me, and stalked me, after I found out he had been stealing from me…that’s what he told some former friends to email me…that i was his soul mate.(I was NC and blocked his phone and emails).
WHY he would even think I would consider to let him back into my life just boggles my mind. I think his new ‘sweetie’ kicked him out….she must have seen his true colors a lot quicker than me.
Soul mate…yes, i would run like hell, too.
romanticfool no more
I NEVER said he was my soul mate, he said it from the very first. I figure how can you tell someone is really your soul mate until you lived your lives together? I’ve seen it tossed around too easily. He was insisting up to the last that he loved me, I was the only woman for him, blah blah blah. Two years later, he “accidentally” sends my daughter a supposedly generic Christmas letter in which he states that he decided to move back home and go to college “because he didn’t have any serious relationships at the time.” I do wonder how he explains 14 1/2 years of telling everyone I was his beloved wife, since I got to know people there.
His letter sure backfired. I guess he forgot I know he hates Christmas updates. It was all ME, ME, ME, I am soooo wonderful!!!!! Someday I’m going to post his will and the one love letter he wrote me. They read the same. Soooo creepy.
I’m pretty sure that in spite of everything, he so deluded he probably thinks I still love him, all he has to do is pretend to be clean and sober and sweet talk me to get back in. Thank goodness I don’t have anything he wants! I no longer fit the trophy wife image, and he knows he got all my money. I had no trouble not contacting him, seems he had a little trouble giving up his habit of giving the knife another twist.
mendingthebrokenpieces
Romanticfool no more, ahhh..the good ol don’t worry..i’ll take care of it. I have heard that one a million times. I would always say..no..do it now..and he would say..just let me take care of it the way I see fit..I promise I will take care of it. Oh..and the “i’m just going through some stuff..I don’t even understand it myself”…I always got that too…but also…”my head is all messed up..I just need to clear my head.” “Just let me take care of my stuff and I promise that this will all work out to our benefit is what he would always tell me. ” blah blah blah arrrrgggghhhh.
mendingthebrokenpieces
And…here is one more “It was never my intention for any of this to happen..I never did anything out of malice or spite. I was just really messed up and was in a 3 year rut…but 3 years does not define who I really am. I was good before.”
super chic
Oh yeah! I heard that one too… it was never my “intent”.
What BS!!!! It was his intent for it to all happen AGAIN!
Findingmyself
“I’m sorry, I will never hurt you again”means-unless you find out about my sneaking around, lying to your face.
mendingthebrokenpieces
shabbychic,
yep! BS BS BS!!! and… “It just happened…I don’t know why I did it. I just did.”
Ox Drover
WOW!!! You guys are on a roll! Romanticfoolnomore, you have some really great ones there! LOL
In retrospect it is funny, but gosh at the time it sure IS NOT FUNNY especially when the power goes off or something else that you were assured that they would TAKE CARE OF!
super chic
romanticfool, I believe that too, that they think they can just swoop back into our lives and we are pathetic little creatures just waiting for them because they think they are so wonderful. NOT~~~!!! They don’t think people can change, because they can’t/won’t.
Findingmyself
You all want to hear a really good one? In the first couple months of my dating x-spath, he ended up sleeping with another woman; she contact me on the dating site that I met x-spath on to let me know. His defense–“It just happened”. Well, I found out 2 years into our relationship that “nothing just happens”, he has to take a pill to “make it happen” since his prostate cancer 7 years ago. I had NO idea that he couldn’t do something without a pill for those first 2 years. All of sudden (after his confession) my mind instantly went back to those words “it just happened”, and I realized it didn’t just happen. If only I had known sooner….