The common wisdom in the mental health field is that sociopaths “burn out” in middle age. If only it were true. According to Lovefraud’s research, after age 50, the behavior of sociopaths is just as bad — or worse.
In Lovefraud’s online survey, 2,120 romantic partners, family members, friends and associates of suspected sociopaths answered questions about their experiences.
Here were the key questions of the survey:
Did you know the individual both before age 50 and after age 50?
A total of 1,276 people answered the question, and 65% said yes, they did know the individual before and after age 50.
Did the individual “mellow out” or “burn out” after age 50? Did the individual engage in less manipulation, deceit or antisocial behavior?
- 1.91% — Yes, much less manipulation, deceit or antisocial behavior
- 6.76% — Somewhat less manipulation, deceit and antisocial behavior
- 39.30% — No, the same amount of manipulation, deceit and antisocial behavior
- 52.03% — The manipulation, deceit and antisocial behavior became worse after age 50
Therefore, 91.33% of survey respondents said the putative antisocial individual’s behavior was just as bad or worse after age 50.
Society for the Scientific Study of Psychopathy conference
I presented a poster summarizing this research at the biennial conference of the Society for the Scientific Study of Psychopathy, May 2-4 in Las Vegas Nevada. This was a gathering of some 200 psychopathy researchers.
The idea that sociopaths do not improve with age, that they get worse, was news to many university researchers. Just about everyone who stopped by my poster was shocked. Plenty of researchers told me that they had never seen information like what I presented. In fact, quite a few of them walked away from my poster somewhat depressed.
Sociopathic traits after age 50
In one part of the survey, respondents rated the individuals according to the nine traits proposed in the first draft of the DSM-5, which Lovefraud has used in multiple surveys. The traits are:
- Callousness
- Aggression
- Manipulativeness
- Hostility
- Deceitfulness
- Narcissism
- Irresponsibility
- Recklessness
- Impulsivity
Traits were rated on a scale of 0 to 3, from “0 = Very little or not like that” to “3 = Extremely like that.” The mean total score for the putative antisocial individuals was 21.19 out of 27. For each of the traits, survey respondents overwhelmingly said the individuals were “extremely like that” — especially for manipulativeness and deceitfulness.
In fact, when asked, “Was the individual manipulative over age 50?,” 98% of survey respondents said yes.
Criminal behavior by sociopaths
Research with criminals show that they tend to be arrested and convicted less frequently once they hit middle age — this is why researchers believe that sociopaths burn out.
I asked if individuals were charged with criminal behavior. Only 14% of respondents said the individuals were charged between ages 51-60, and only 4% said they were charged between 61-70.
But I also asked if the suspected sociopaths got away with criminal activity. According to the respondents, 31% got away with crime between ages 51-60, and 12% got away with crime between ages 61-70.
Yes, there may be fewer crimes charged, but that doesn’t mean the sociopaths have turned into angels.
Harm suffered by survey respondents
Asked if they lost money because of the sociopath who was over the age of 50, 62% of survey respondents said yes. The amounts ranged from under $5,000 to more than $500,000.
But that’s only the beginning of the suffering. Survey respondents reported losing their homes, their businesses and their jobs. They incurred debt, declared bankruptcy, and had lawsuits and criminal charges filed against them.
The biggest categories of harm were related to health problems. Of the survey respondents, 74% said the stress of the involvement made them ill, 88% reported that they became anxious or depressed, and 66% said they suffered PTSD. Ninety percent of respondents said they suffered emotional abuse, and 85% said they suffered psychological abuse.
Here’s what you need to know: If you are waiting for a sociopath to grow up and calm down, it isn’t going to happen. Get out of the involvement as soon as you can. For information on how to do this, check out the Lovefraud webinar, Escaping the sociopath and rebuilding your life.
For more details, download the Senior Sociopath poster.
Dear Donna,
So enlighten by the research. Most studies seems to me they are done based on the quintessential Freudian mold. Legislation could be pass to protect countless victims and lives could even be saved if academia just listen to our screaming off the roof tops. Thank you for your courage to lead the fight, because is in the trenches where the blood an guts are and perspective can be gain if they just tune in.
Lately I think that people in the world are divided more by their psychological traits, profiles, or their personalities disorders than by color of the skin or even race. We live in a misguided society, massively confused by our lack of awareness interacting with each other with the wrong filters while we serve our selfs up to our natural “look alike predators”. The day will come when awareness will be the cure.
Lobo – the basic divide in humanity is between those who can love and those who can’t, regardless of other demographics. Those who cannot love are sociopaths.
Dear Donna,
Thank you for courageously presenting your poster!
YES, sociopaths get caught LESS by law enforcement as they get older as they learn how to more effectively hide their ways as they age.
Amazingly, I have been able to observe THREE from birth to their old age (my brothers).
Sadly, they ALL GOT WORSE as they aged, and so has my half-brother.
More than ever, I feel there is a spiritual dynamic to it, and, until professionals take this into account in their research and attempts at treatment, I think there is no hope of improvement for them.
By the way, my parents were NOT narcissistic, or sociopathic, although my youngest brother and I were both physically and emotionally abused. Feel my parents were abusers due to they themselves having had very difficult childhoods. My parents had a good and healthy marriage, but we’re poor parents. Know my parents weren’t sociopaths because I found reconciliation with them before they died, while I am not sure I ever will with my brothers.
Thank you for your excellent work at educating the professionals!
Gratefully yours,
Monica
The sociopath I entangled with turned 50 while I was dating him…during that five years I would hedge to bet he got much worse than he ever had been prior to meeting me. Unfortunately, I am afraid I empowered him to some extent because I was so convinced of the reality he created-I think he purposefully tested me to see how much I would continue to believe-until it became so implausible I could no longer deny it. The greatest stories were ones he told of his own childhood-abuse, foster care, etc…playing upon my sympathies…my empathic nature was like a drug to him. I often wept for him being robbed of his innocence and thoughts of what he had endured growing up. He could weep on command as he shared all of these traumatic childhood stories. Turns out everything was a lie, he grew up in a normal household. He just lacks a conscience and has fooled ALL the outside world around him. He’s one of those that can blend undetected but has an alternative lifestyle that no one who knew him could even imagine.
He was a master manipulator and had a fake identity… fake DL, fake work badge, fake career, fake house, fake family, fake friends. He got several people to validate his identity. He was involved with multiple relationships with men and women. It was a horrific discovery and I definitely have PTSD and am suffering physically from the emotional trauma. It has been a year and I still feel deeply disturbed. Considering EMDR therapy so I can move forward. At least I didn’t lose any money. I think he stole from everyone else he was entangled with, I got lucky in that regard.
Anyway, when I realized something was not quite right and we would discuss his symptoms of histrionic disorder (due to his childhood) he played that against me too. When I read up on the literature about histrionics it did support the theory about them aging out of the worst of it. I had hoped that to be true because of course, he was the man of my dreams.
I definitely believe the opposite about their pathology decreasing versus increasing with age. They get better and better with every successful deception. They are less likely to get caught because they learn from their mistakes. And because they study human emotion without having any of their own, they only become more skilled at picking out the most vulnerable targets. It is amazing how empathy draws them like a moth to a flame.
I absolutely agree with you Donna, they only improve with age. I fully exposed this person, got him fired and turns out he was married-and now divorced, but he still got away with so much. Because of that he will go on to hurt more people-he wasn’t pursued with criminal charges because his work didn’t want the bad publicity. I couldn’t prosecute him for stalking because he would indirectly attempt contact. Even though he mounted a tracker on my vehicle and accessed my home after we broke up…he lived out of state (just across state lines) and the police wouldn’t pursue him outside their jurisdiction. He had accessed all of my private accounts, FB, email, locator on my phone, everything, no actual crime in that. Truly a complete psycho.
My greatest sorrow is there was no way I could prevent further victims, without becoming a stalker myself. I protected who I could directly in his path, including his own children but he will spend the rest of his life harming others to take what he wants from them. And his favorite employer is those high end retirement homes, singing oldies for the residents and working in maintenance. Without looking for hom it was brought to my attention he has already gotten himself all set up in another one, just moved to another city.
I just want to scream when I think about this predator out there. I know I never learned his darkest secrets-there was a money stream coming from somewhere. I am grateful some things I don’t know, because I feel they are likely pervision filled activities. I am damn lucky not to have gotten any STD, but the physical toll of my perceptions being altered for 5 yrs continues to haunt me.
Donna thank you for your research. The hardest thing for me was trying to get authorities involved because they think you are a jilted ex. Even with an enormous amount of irrefutable evidence. These people have to become violent or blatantly stalk you out in the open to get the authorities to do anything. And even then it is often too late..or not enough. I documented with a detective everything just in case I disappear one day.
Employers passing the buck is also something that not only passes on the problem elsewhere, but it encourages the sociopaths because they never pay for their crimes. In my case I know this guy was stealing from his employer, I even turned in photographs and and serial numbers of items he put in my home-but instead the employer just cut him loose. High end dishwasher, furniture, a convection oven, kitchen appliances of all kinds. I was ready and willing to give it all back to get him prosecuted. He needed a criminal record so at least he couldn’t slither into positions where the most vulnerable people live. I failed.
I continue to pray for the unknown lives that will be affected by this person without a conscience. Because he has no reason to stop. Aging and success at living a life of deception equals growth, not “winding down”. Until he gets sick and dies or he crosses the wrong person,
he will be hurting others, and remain entertained by it all. It is all just a game to the sociopath.
empath1965 – thank you so much for sharing your experience. I don’t know what is more shocking – what they do, or how others, including authorities and employers, enable them.
I participated in this survey and I’m certain that my ex is getting worse, he’s 62.! His desire for ongoing adulation, zero boundaries or confrontation and complete control makes any loving relationship impossible for him to maintain. He had me totally under his thumb and it’s taken me more than three years to recover,
My successor had an awful time with him, arguably much worse than me as he trashed her house, was physically violent towards her, she was very afraid of him by the end.
We’ve spoken at length and she, like me, was totally bewitched by him. He displays many, many behaviours and traits of a psychopath, she endured his alcoholism and discovered evidence of several affairs, past and present; he is a master manipulator but she is a strong lady and had enough strength to throw him out, I applaud her for that!
If you can speak with any of your ex’s other victims it can help your recovery by sharing your stories; it’s helped me draw a line under the whole episode, I’m now in a normal, relationship. .
I didn’t meet my ex until he was 59, but if his actions toward me were any indication, he had plenty of practice deceiving and stealing before then – and he was good at it. He was careful to not leave a paper trail, to erase incriminating texts and emails, and, of course, to lie, lie, lie about everything to everyone. Even now he has no traceable presence online, using his current victims email and Facebook; changes cell phones often, and has convinced old friends and family that I am crazy. How do I know? Some of his friends don’t believe him and have kept me informed, even though I honestly don’t give a rat’s patootie about him or his actions. I DO worry about his current victim, and tried to warn her with an anonymous letter, but, as far as I know, she is still with him.
They only get better at their tricks as they age, which is why they don’t show up on police blotters or in the news. They have learned how to intimidate and bully their victims into compliance and silence. They know that we, the victims, are often too danged ashamed and humiliated to admit what they did, so we cover it up for our own self-preservation. And then they move on to the next one.
Thank heavens for this forum — it gives us – it gave me – a voice and a safe place to open up to my own shame, realize it was NEVER about me, and heal.
Emilie 18 – I am so glad that you are away from him, and glad that you found Lovefraud to be helpful.
I have a “charming” brother-in-law who is what I call a narcissist, but he seems to fit the criteria for sociopath. I have pondered this myself. He is definitely not improving, but is he actually getting worse? My feeling is that he is as he has always been, but maybe with a little less impulse control and is now not as good at “disguising” his true personality. He has also finally gotten arrested for property damage and assault (by words/behavior that caused fear of injury) by one of the women that he has victimized. I feel vindicated because his family didn’t believe me when I told them that he was abusive towards women, and that if he would bully and physically intimidate a sister-in-law (when there weren’t any witnesses, of course) then he was likely doing much worse to his dozens of girlfriends! I met him when he was 34, now he’s 70. His latest is that he goes to Thailand to have sex with young women, and he claims to have a twenty-something year old wife. I have no way to warn her, though she probably wouldn’t believe me anyway. They always fall head over heels in love with him until his outrageous behavior and serial cheating becomes painfully obvious. Also relentless emotional abuse, after the “honeymoon period”.
Your husband’s brother?
Interesting survey.