Celiac Disease is an auto immune disease similar to diabetes. People are genetically predisposed to have it, however certain risk factors can contribute to the onset of symptoms if you are genetically predisposed to CD like trauma or stress, among other things. When I was growing up I was extremely healthy and strong. I can only remember maybe one time being sick of any kind. My physical body was very strong and I ate like a pig! I was in great shape because I danced competitively, racking up maybe 10-15 hours of training a week. About 6 months of being in a relationship with a sociopath, I slowly started to have these odd symptoms. The damage had already been done in the relationship and I was already on edge.
First Home Town Visit
We became serious in the Fall and in the Spring he wanted to go back to his home town in Central America to visit family. I was in college at the time so I told him I was able to go during Spring Break. He hadn’t gone back home since he came to the States, supposedly because he didn’t have time or whatever. The reasoning he gave me at the time surely wasn’t the REAL reason, which I found out later. He was a fugitive in his own country and his Mom had told him that he needed to pick Puerto Rico or the US to go and hide out for a while until things toned down. So he never wanted to leave and come to the States to build the “American Dream;” he was forced by his political family to do so.
I went with him for a week to visit. It was very weird. I saw some bizzare things. One time we went to the beach with his family and his brother was there with a woman. I asked the sociopath if that was his brother’s wife. He dismissed me and acted like it was weird that I asked. This was a red flag because clearly it was not his wife. His brother was vacationing from the States and was cheating on his wife with whoever that woman was and everyone in his family just accepted it as normal. Why I didn’t make a correlation, I don’t know. Quick Note: Several years later the same brother was sent to prison for sodomizing and kidnapping his step daughter. Anyway, when I was there I was given a very, large hand gun and told if anyone tried to come in my room to well, you know. I was 19 at the time; looking back at this I was in serious danger.
Well we finally were done with the trip and he was upset it was already over. He blamed me that we had to leave so soon. That was odd. I thought to myself, “well you knew I had school before we left, I could have just not gone and you could have stayed longer?”
Crazy Girl…or Crazy Sociopath?
About a week after we got back from Central America I was hanging out at his apartment. All of a sudden someone was banging heavily on his sliding glass window; it totally startled me. He jumped off the bed and ran to the front door. I didn’t know what to think so I just stayed put. I heard him open the door and him get in a confrontation with a woman. I started to stand up and walk to the threshold of the room that I was sitting in and she ran towards me and fell at my feet. Apparently she had scratched the sociopath’s arm and pushed her way through the door. She was calling out my name and crying and she was drunk. I had no clue who this girl was or how she knew my name. The sociopath just stood in the kitchen and shook his head like he was embarrassed of her. She finally picked herself off the ground and sat on the couch in the living room and she said that while I was at work she was sleeping with my boyfriend. I think I said something to her, nothing mean just something like, ok. I don’t remember. The sociopath didn’t say anything to her either. He didn’t defend himself he just stood in the kitchen, like he wasn’t even there.
Then she left and I sat there for a while. He tried to tell me that he had dated her before me and that she was obsessed with him and wanted to break us up. I was pretty worked up. But for some reason after all the story he gave me about it, I believed him. He asked me why I believed him. I didn’t know why I believed him. It was a very strange moment. He built his reputation with me that he was this innocent guy that was really nice and shy. So he used that for a basis for his story and I believed it. That was the day my anxiety started. That feeling of uneasiness, the hot flashes, calming your imagination, battling what you thought you saw with what you actually saw, what was real. The trust was gone from that moment. I mean she could have been a crazy girl like he said. He was a great manipulator. He would leave just enough shadow of a doubt to question your own sanity and your gut level feelings.
A week later he called me and asked me if I had seen Crazy Girl and talked to her at the grocery store. I told him no. I had not seen her at the grocery store, and if I had, I would not have talked to her. He was upset with me and asked me how she found out about details of our trip if I hadn’t talked to her. I don’t really know what his purpose was in that other than it gave him more ammunition to use to prove she was a crazy, obsessed ex girlfriend that was calling him just making up excuses to talk to him. Talk about drama!
I bought this story for a long time until I started thinking about it more. I recalled the timeline of everything and things just didn’t add up. Putting things together, he had to have broken up with her a year before she came barging in the door that day, so that didn’t make sense. The real story was probably a little more like this: He was dating both of us the entire year and she finally found out she wasn’t the only one. Surprise! That is why she went insane when she found out she was being cheated on the whole time. I was out with him in the social scene where she was for a couple years after that so I know they weren’t together then because she saw us out together. But then something else that was even more strange happened. Months before I divorced him, I found a picture of her on his phone. That’s a 10 year gap, like why? Then what was even more odd was I found another chatting site he was on, and she was one of his contacts. Her profile picture was a baby pick of a guy holding a baby, but the adult was cut out of the picture except for his arm. I thought that unusual. I tried to put away my thoughts, but for one, that arm looked liked the sociopath and two that baby looked liked him too. I didn’t want to delve into more details about that, but I wouldn’t doubt he has kids running around that are his and other families. I wouldn’t doubt it.
So All That To Say This
That story was the first major story to a lot of stories and upheaval, stress, chaos and confusion and trauma. 3 Years after I got married, and a lot of these kinds of stories after, I finally started to get really sick. I was throwing up randomly so bad that I felt like I was being asphyxiated and I had horrible, sharp pains in my stomach that I couldn’t even take breaths. My stomach hurt all the time with a distention feeling. This went on for almost 6 months until I finally got diagnosed. This didn’t sit well for the sex addict he was because I could hardly be intimate with all that going on. I was finally diagnosed in 2009 and went cold turkey on a gluten free diet. It didn’t get better after the diagnosis unfortunately, but much worse. The distention went away, but a lot of other things started to happen. Chronic nausea, vomiting, extreme fatigue, seizure like episodes, all kinds of stuff.
I think another level of anxiety was added on to the anxiety I already had from the infidelities in the relationship and I started coping with anxiety if that makes sense. Anxiety was my life on several different levels. I was afraid to eat anything because I was afraid to have a reaction and I figured the less I ate, the less of a reaction I would get if I had one. The sociopath didn’t make anything better, not only did he not care for me when I was ill, he did other hurtful things to add to it.
I would get sick at night a lot. One time we were out together at a concert and I started to get sick. He told me to drive home myself and he would get a cab later. I was so hurt that he didn’t want to go home with me and protested it. He gave in to going home with me, but he was mad at me. Like what is that? If I was running to the sink in the middle of the night to throw up he would call out to me from the bed to make sure I didn’t throw up in HIS sink. I mean really? And other times he would be out partying while I was at home having reactions and heat sweats and all kinds of stuff. I would just lay in the bed in the dark. On the last trip I took to his home town when I was still married we were out and I got sick. He took 45 minutes after knowing I was sick to leave where we were to drive me home. He dropped me off at the room and went back out with my lying there on the bed by myself.
The conclusion? Deep down inside, and for a long time, I have always had the notion that my predisposed Celiac was triggered by the stress and trauma from my relationship with a sociopath.