By Joyce Alexander, RNP (Retired)
I was reading an article about Steve Jobs’ new biography that came out this past week, and some of the stories about his life. There is no doubt in my mind that Steve Jobs was one of the smartest and most savvy guys in the Twentieth Century. The inventions that he fostered or personally thought of have changed our society and our culture, and remarkably changed the communication field. An amazing man!
You may have read the title of this article and are already wondering how Steve Jobs was killed by a “psychopath.” Jobs died of the terminal stages of pancreatic cancer. He was diagnosed with this very serious form of cancer. Apparently, according to what I read, it was a slower growing kind of this cancer, and if he had had surgery right then, there is a good chance that he might have actually effected a cure and be alive even today.
That wasn’t what Steve chose to do, though ”¦ he chose to deny the seriousness and the urgency to take drastic action immediately to exorcise the tumor out of his system. He did not essentially “go NO CONTACT” with the toxic, malignant entity that had silently invaded his body. As smart as Jobs was, and even though he had access to the best and most knowledgeable physicians in the world, he did not take the “appropriate action” to have the surgery. Jobs told his biographer that he did “not want to be cut open like that.” He later regretted that decision and even realized that it may have cost him his life.
His biographer says that he ultimately saw that the colon cleansing and other “new age” treatments did nothing for him, and nine months after he turned down after recommended surgery, Jobs finally decided to have it—what is called a “Whipple procedure” to remove the tumor. It was too late; he had missed that narrow “window of opportunity” in which he could have saved his life. He “got a divorce” from the tumor too late, the damage had been done. Though Steve Jobs fought valiantly for the next decade, the ultimate “win” by the psychopathic cancer was a foregone conclusion. He had failed to excise the cancer from his life while it was small.
Psychopaths as cancers
Too many times, I see psychopathic relationships with “malignant” individuals, and like cancers, they may grow inside us without being detectable as toxic until one day, even before we know they are toxic, the fatal damage has been done. Or, we may get a chance recognize them and to excise them when they are “small” in relationship to the rest of our lives. We can remove them without leaving large scars or holes in our lives. If we get this chance to remove the “malignant” people from our lives and we, like Steve Jobs, decide on a “want and see” plan, we allow them to grow and infiltrate our lives more fully, so that if and when we do decide to “surgically” remove them from our lives, the hole and the scars that they leave is much larger and more debilitating than if we had “done the surgery” when the situation wasn’t quite so ingrown.
Jesus talked about “if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, if thy hand offend thee, cut it off,” and went on to analogize that it is better to live a life with one eye or one hand than to live in “hell” with two eyes or two hands. Sometimes I think the “surgery” necessary to remove the psychopathic personality from our lives is very much like “plucking out your own eye” or “cutting off your own hand” with a rusty butcher knife. But the point of the situation is that in order to live a good life, or in some cases to live at all, we must make the hard decision to excise the toxic person, or the malignant tumor, from our lives as soon as we know what they are. Waiting around, treating this toxic, malignant issue with “kindness and love,” isn’t going to remove it from our lives or our bodies, or change it into something benign. We must take drastic and surgical action to remove this malignant person from our lives completely.
Removing those around the psychopath
That may also mean taking out the “lymph nodes” of the people around the cancerous person, just like the doctor will remove lymph nodes from around a breast containing cancer where that malignancy has spread into those nodes so that they, in turn, don’t spread the toxin to the rest of the body. It is unfortunate but true that a toxic psychopath will frequently have spread their lies and toxins to other people around us that we may also love ”¦ their families, our mutual friends, etc. A “cure” from the toxic psychopath may require us to be NC with those people too, and excise them from our lives as well. The longer the psychopath has been in our lives and the more deeply involved, the more likely this will be necessary. Failing to “bite the bullet” and do this as well may result in a recurrence of the malignancy this person leaves in our lives.
Steve Jobs was a significant personality in our culture. Of course there is no guarantee that if he had elected to have the surgery sooner rather than later, that he would have lived longer or better, but I can guarantee that living with a psychopathic person longer, or trying every “alternative” cure, except total surgical removal, isn’t going to improve your life in any way.
I think even in his death, Steve Jobs left us one more important thing ”¦ a lesson for anyone involved with a toxic relationship of any kind.
deleted
I’m getting really tired of gardening.
Guys, this ANALOGY isn’t about alternative medicine or conventional medicine. It is about keeping a “psychopath” in our lives once we know they are toxic and trying to have UNREALISTIC HOPE that there is a “cure” for this toxic “tumor” of a person in our lives. We must CUT THEM OUT like a TOXIC SUBSTANCE, we must remove them out of our systems in order that their poison doesn’t spread.
For those of you who believe in “alternative” treatments for cancer or for ring worm, that’s fine, you have every right to practice whatever medicine you believe in for the health of your body, but if EVEN ONE OF YOU thinks that delaying removal of a psychopath out of our live is a good idea, then I think you are wrong, and I will say so here and now.
GET AWAY from psychopaths As Soon As Possible!
Maybe it’s just my mood tonight, but here goes.
Is anyone READING the entire articles on here anymore, or are they just picking out bits and pieces as they go along. For anyone that still does not get it, go look up the word ANALOGY. This is not a hard concept people.
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/analogy
a·nal·o·gy
”‚ ”‚/əˈnælÉ™dÊ’i/ Show Spelled[uh-nal-uh-jee] Show IPA
noun, plural -gies.
1.
a similarity between like features of two things, on which a comparison may be based: the analogy between the heart and a pump.
2.
similarity or comparability: I see no analogy between your problem and mine.
3.
Biology. an analogous relationship.
4.
Linguistics.
a.
the process by which words or phrases are created or re-formed according to existing patterns in the language, as when shoon was re-formed as shoes, when -ize is added to nouns like winter to form verbs, or when a child says foots for feet.
b.
a form resulting from such a process.
5.
Logic. a form of reasoning in which one thing is inferred to be similar to another thing in a certain respect, on the basis of the known similarity between the things in other respects
Milo, thanks, here’s the definition, and while this article may not be a “perfect analogy” (what is!? LOL) my point was not to piss anyone off, but somehow I seem to be able to ruffle feathers anyway. But here’s a simile, “it rolls off me like water off a duck’s back.” (I always have to look up simile versus metaphor, never could keep them straight!) So I’m not upset by people being upset with me about the article, and if I were, I would say so.
People sometimes forget my “handle” of Ox Drover has a back story….and I REALLY AM a gutsy enough old woman to get in front of 4,000 pounds of bovine muscle with what amounts to a “switch” and set off down the road in total voice command and with total confidence that I am IN CONTROL of the situation.
I haven’t always been that way about PEOPLE stepping on me, or poking me with the tip of their “horns” and where I would severely chastise the ox that touched me with his horn or invaded my space, I let people walk on me. Fortunately, though, with the help and support of Love Fraud, I no longer do that with people either.
Sometimes when people invade your space or verbally or physically act inappropriately you have to stand up and “take a STAND” but other times, you just walk away and ignore them, because in the grand scheme of things, what they think or say or do isn’t important to your life.
I think of it like this, if someone you’ve never met before is in a check out line with you at Wally World and they say to you, “You know, you are such a biatch.” Are you going to let that ruin your day or week or month? Are you going to go home and cry for days because someone you never met before or will ever see again called you a “name?” Of course not!
Last year in January I went to visit my “best friend” in Texas at her invitation. We had been “best friends” for 30 years, but she and her husband both treated me very badly, and I left and have been NC with her in the 10 months since then. When her husband talked badly to me, I stood up to him on the spot and then walked away. Then went to the train station and left. My “friend’ said to me “well, that’s what best friends are for, they fight and make up” and I replied something to the effect of “No, that’s not the case, best friends don’t treat each other badly.”
Only a few years ago, I would have been totally devastated at the treatment from my friend and her husband, and I DO understand that she is Severely DEPRESSED and I also understand that her husband is ABUSIVE (I didn’t realize that before he retired and I really got to spend time around him) but at the same time, while I realize those things, that doesn’t give her a pass to treat me poorly or expect me to allow him to treat me hatefully or talk to me like “someone’s yard dog” that just tore up his trash. I wish our friendship hadn’t come to such an end, but I have happy memories of the times we had together that were good. Not all friendships last “forever.” I’m able to accept that. Just as my marriage didn’t last “forever”—my husband died, but I have happy memories of the times we did have together. My friendship with my former best friend “died” as well, and I can accept that. She isn’t a psychopath, she’s a good person in many many ways, but she’s not functioning well in her life right now and she’s in pain and so she strikes out, but I’m functioning well in mine and I don’t stand still while others strike out at me…no matter what their “reason” or “excuse.” I move away at the very least!
to all – just because posters disagree with an analogy, the premise of an analogy or find it off point or off putting in some way, doesn’t mean they are misreading, misunderstanding, or are a spath. it means they are CHOOSING to say what they think and that they find the premise of an analogy off point or off putting.
you don’t have to agree with them, but neither do you need to suggest that they are doing anything but exercising their choice to speak out about something that doesn’t ring true for them.
best,
one joy
Told ya so. Snort.
Gone Rockin’.
I have seen the cancer thing go both ways. I have known of a few people who waited till it was too late for surgery and regretted it. There are people who believed wholeheartedly in natural methods (think Andy Kaufman) but those natural methods ultimately failed.
I also personally met a lady who – through intensive meditation practice and Chinese herbs – sent her terminal cancer into remission after she was given 6 months to live. Her story is really incredible and an inspiration. Through meditation, she was able to feel the cancer in her body, feel it burning, and burn it out of her system. That is how she described it.
Oxy’s premise is based in the medical model, so people who don’t take the medical model as gospel might have trouble with it. However, I agree that sociopaths really ARE like cancer in our system, and unchecked, both will kill us. Can we all agree on that? I don’t see where there needs to be a right and wrong here, and pointing fingers and calling people spaths, discussions of gray rocks and gardening. Dang! Why does that always happen here? If you don’t like someone’s opinion, you can always just say, “That’s an interesting point. Thanks for sharing” and then move on.
Well well Ms. Stargazer,
I can’t speak for the others, but for my part I’m deeply offended by your pleas for moderation and Internet courtesy. (There’s a hidden agenda in your words, methinks, even if I can’t quite put my finger on what it is!) Perhaps you didn’t hear, but those shallow virtures went out of style at least a decade ago….
Therefore, I’m going back to my garden and will wish you a curt “good night.”
(Haha – I don’t suppose it’s necessary to say, “Just kidding”?!)
Lots of us disagree all the time, and that’s not a problem. The problem comes about in THE WAY the disagreement is presented. When it is put forth as a personal attack it’s inappropriate.
The more I read about Steve Jobs, the more I agree that holistic medicine was not going to work for him and he should have gone for the surgery immediately. The man was seething in anger. Holistic medicine is about balancing mind and body. When someone’s mind is filled with rage from a narcissistic injury, they are not going to benefit very much from herbs and homeopathy. In fact, I doubt the surgery would have saved him, but maybe bought him more time.
In the same way, if we don’t holistically understand what made us vulnerable to a spath, then we are not likely to escape that one. And even if we were to surgically remove the spath from our lives, a new one would likely pop up, because we don’t understand that we are feeding them with our emotions.
I think that cancer and spaths are both related to our emotional well being and that is what we need to focus on.
BTW, I think the Android caused the narcissistic injury which caused Steve Jobs’ cancer.