By Joyce Alexander, RNP (Retired)
I was reading an article about Steve Jobs’ new biography that came out this past week, and some of the stories about his life. There is no doubt in my mind that Steve Jobs was one of the smartest and most savvy guys in the Twentieth Century. The inventions that he fostered or personally thought of have changed our society and our culture, and remarkably changed the communication field. An amazing man!
You may have read the title of this article and are already wondering how Steve Jobs was killed by a “psychopath.” Jobs died of the terminal stages of pancreatic cancer. He was diagnosed with this very serious form of cancer. Apparently, according to what I read, it was a slower growing kind of this cancer, and if he had had surgery right then, there is a good chance that he might have actually effected a cure and be alive even today.
That wasn’t what Steve chose to do, though ”¦ he chose to deny the seriousness and the urgency to take drastic action immediately to exorcise the tumor out of his system. He did not essentially “go NO CONTACT” with the toxic, malignant entity that had silently invaded his body. As smart as Jobs was, and even though he had access to the best and most knowledgeable physicians in the world, he did not take the “appropriate action” to have the surgery. Jobs told his biographer that he did “not want to be cut open like that.” He later regretted that decision and even realized that it may have cost him his life.
His biographer says that he ultimately saw that the colon cleansing and other “new age” treatments did nothing for him, and nine months after he turned down after recommended surgery, Jobs finally decided to have it—what is called a “Whipple procedure” to remove the tumor. It was too late; he had missed that narrow “window of opportunity” in which he could have saved his life. He “got a divorce” from the tumor too late, the damage had been done. Though Steve Jobs fought valiantly for the next decade, the ultimate “win” by the psychopathic cancer was a foregone conclusion. He had failed to excise the cancer from his life while it was small.
Psychopaths as cancers
Too many times, I see psychopathic relationships with “malignant” individuals, and like cancers, they may grow inside us without being detectable as toxic until one day, even before we know they are toxic, the fatal damage has been done. Or, we may get a chance recognize them and to excise them when they are “small” in relationship to the rest of our lives. We can remove them without leaving large scars or holes in our lives. If we get this chance to remove the “malignant” people from our lives and we, like Steve Jobs, decide on a “want and see” plan, we allow them to grow and infiltrate our lives more fully, so that if and when we do decide to “surgically” remove them from our lives, the hole and the scars that they leave is much larger and more debilitating than if we had “done the surgery” when the situation wasn’t quite so ingrown.
Jesus talked about “if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, if thy hand offend thee, cut it off,” and went on to analogize that it is better to live a life with one eye or one hand than to live in “hell” with two eyes or two hands. Sometimes I think the “surgery” necessary to remove the psychopathic personality from our lives is very much like “plucking out your own eye” or “cutting off your own hand” with a rusty butcher knife. But the point of the situation is that in order to live a good life, or in some cases to live at all, we must make the hard decision to excise the toxic person, or the malignant tumor, from our lives as soon as we know what they are. Waiting around, treating this toxic, malignant issue with “kindness and love,” isn’t going to remove it from our lives or our bodies, or change it into something benign. We must take drastic and surgical action to remove this malignant person from our lives completely.
Removing those around the psychopath
That may also mean taking out the “lymph nodes” of the people around the cancerous person, just like the doctor will remove lymph nodes from around a breast containing cancer where that malignancy has spread into those nodes so that they, in turn, don’t spread the toxin to the rest of the body. It is unfortunate but true that a toxic psychopath will frequently have spread their lies and toxins to other people around us that we may also love ”¦ their families, our mutual friends, etc. A “cure” from the toxic psychopath may require us to be NC with those people too, and excise them from our lives as well. The longer the psychopath has been in our lives and the more deeply involved, the more likely this will be necessary. Failing to “bite the bullet” and do this as well may result in a recurrence of the malignancy this person leaves in our lives.
Steve Jobs was a significant personality in our culture. Of course there is no guarantee that if he had elected to have the surgery sooner rather than later, that he would have lived longer or better, but I can guarantee that living with a psychopathic person longer, or trying every “alternative” cure, except total surgical removal, isn’t going to improve your life in any way.
I think even in his death, Steve Jobs left us one more important thing ”¦ a lesson for anyone involved with a toxic relationship of any kind.
Oxy
You are dead on right.
When you kept telling me to go NO CONTACT, I struggled and struggled. I made it for a day, and gave up. Then I made it for two days, and gave up. Then a week. Now it’s been 2 months. I had no idea how damned hard it would be, because I loved my spath (actually, I loved the man I thought he was). It has been like cutting off my arm. I have this big gaping hole in my life, but I know it’s the right thing to do. He is a cancer. I’m on my way to being free.
Athena
Katy ~ watch what you wish for ~ note from Grand’s teacher (he is in special ed. so I get daily notes) ~ ” Grand was acting inappropriately today, he was opening student’s lockers and farting in them.” How in the world am I going to respond to that???
Hi folks,
Just getting home from work. I’m glad you enjoyed a little levity. Sorry about the Chocolate addiction!
Milo, ROTFLMAO Choke, snort, snarf!
Athena, hang on it gets easier!
LOL, everyone please take turns with the skillet for misreading Constantine’s post. ha ha Sorry Constantine. I can’t believe the queen of sarcasm missed a sarcastic remark!
Oxy, you have created quite a stir with your controversial analogy!!! I want to say that to your credit, your words are often exactly what so many people here need to hear. The NO CONTACT message is always always appropriate. People here are in different stages of healing and some need the constant reminder. Your articles and posts are like a beacon in the dark for so many members here. And your story is an inspiration to me personally.
As far as the medical model, I think it’s a fascinating debate. I think it’s unfortunate that there is such a huge schism between western medicine and holistic healing. I feel there is a place where both can come together. I personally believe that if humans survive long enough into the future, the future of healing will be energetic. We will see how we can create our own illness or wellness through our thoughts and energetic patterning. I think in the same way a sociopath is like a cancer, even AFTER we go no-contact with them, the negativity and energetic patterns can remain in our body and cause illness – cancer being one of them. I think we need to find any techniques we can to release this energy out of our body. I think surgery and chemotherapy is really a last resort and will some day become archaic, as we find more energy-based methods of eradicating disease. By teaching people to live their lives in ease rather than dis-ease. But we are nowhere near being close to this vision I have. What can I say? I’m a dreamer. I literally dream about stuff like this. Until then, there is a place for western medicine. I work in a hospital and watch lives get saved all the time.
I made my special chocolate brownies, ya’ll come on over, the moon is bright tonite..
Katydid, I went to see the new little hens the other day, his bib said “This is what handsome look’s like”,,,
Hens, I could really use some magic brownies. I mean “special” brownies. I could use some SPECIAL brownies. LOL
Hens,
LOL I love special brownies when the moon is high! 🙂
Star,
Thank you very much! I do hope that I am able to convey some of the information and support to others that I have received here from LoveFraud. I don’t mean to offend anyone, but some people may be offended, but it wasn’t intentional. I think you are right though, even after we cut them out with NO Contact, there are still traces of the “cancer” left in us and we may need continued “chemo” treatment…they stalk us etc. so sometimes “surgery” alone isn’t enough. Sometimes they do get us in the end, but like Erin Brock, we fight the best we can and sometimes we are able to WIN over them. Sometimes the treatment seems as bad or worse than the disease!
I know that my own personal “cancer” is not entirely gone just because I am NC with him, he will get me if he gets the chance, so I have to be vigilant and do what I can to keep him at bay! It is something I know and will have to continue to work on to keep myself safe. It is frustrating to me that my egg donor keeps “feeding” it, but that isn’t something I can control, so I’ve had to learn some PATIENCE as well, and to work with WHAT I CAN CONTROL. I’m not a “patient” person so this has been a challenge for me. Thanks again!
Oxy, it’s funny you say you are not a patient person. It seems your whole life has been teaching you patience. From a Buddhist standpoint (not that everyone should believe in this) we choose our life paths (paths, not spaths LOL) to learn certain things. Maybe patience is your life lesson. And what a hard-earned one.