By Joyce Alexander, RNP (Retired)
I was reading an article about Steve Jobs’ new biography that came out this past week, and some of the stories about his life. There is no doubt in my mind that Steve Jobs was one of the smartest and most savvy guys in the Twentieth Century. The inventions that he fostered or personally thought of have changed our society and our culture, and remarkably changed the communication field. An amazing man!
You may have read the title of this article and are already wondering how Steve Jobs was killed by a “psychopath.” Jobs died of the terminal stages of pancreatic cancer. He was diagnosed with this very serious form of cancer. Apparently, according to what I read, it was a slower growing kind of this cancer, and if he had had surgery right then, there is a good chance that he might have actually effected a cure and be alive even today.
That wasn’t what Steve chose to do, though ”¦ he chose to deny the seriousness and the urgency to take drastic action immediately to exorcise the tumor out of his system. He did not essentially “go NO CONTACT” with the toxic, malignant entity that had silently invaded his body. As smart as Jobs was, and even though he had access to the best and most knowledgeable physicians in the world, he did not take the “appropriate action” to have the surgery. Jobs told his biographer that he did “not want to be cut open like that.” He later regretted that decision and even realized that it may have cost him his life.
His biographer says that he ultimately saw that the colon cleansing and other “new age” treatments did nothing for him, and nine months after he turned down after recommended surgery, Jobs finally decided to have it—what is called a “Whipple procedure” to remove the tumor. It was too late; he had missed that narrow “window of opportunity” in which he could have saved his life. He “got a divorce” from the tumor too late, the damage had been done. Though Steve Jobs fought valiantly for the next decade, the ultimate “win” by the psychopathic cancer was a foregone conclusion. He had failed to excise the cancer from his life while it was small.
Psychopaths as cancers
Too many times, I see psychopathic relationships with “malignant” individuals, and like cancers, they may grow inside us without being detectable as toxic until one day, even before we know they are toxic, the fatal damage has been done. Or, we may get a chance recognize them and to excise them when they are “small” in relationship to the rest of our lives. We can remove them without leaving large scars or holes in our lives. If we get this chance to remove the “malignant” people from our lives and we, like Steve Jobs, decide on a “want and see” plan, we allow them to grow and infiltrate our lives more fully, so that if and when we do decide to “surgically” remove them from our lives, the hole and the scars that they leave is much larger and more debilitating than if we had “done the surgery” when the situation wasn’t quite so ingrown.
Jesus talked about “if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, if thy hand offend thee, cut it off,” and went on to analogize that it is better to live a life with one eye or one hand than to live in “hell” with two eyes or two hands. Sometimes I think the “surgery” necessary to remove the psychopathic personality from our lives is very much like “plucking out your own eye” or “cutting off your own hand” with a rusty butcher knife. But the point of the situation is that in order to live a good life, or in some cases to live at all, we must make the hard decision to excise the toxic person, or the malignant tumor, from our lives as soon as we know what they are. Waiting around, treating this toxic, malignant issue with “kindness and love,” isn’t going to remove it from our lives or our bodies, or change it into something benign. We must take drastic and surgical action to remove this malignant person from our lives completely.
Removing those around the psychopath
That may also mean taking out the “lymph nodes” of the people around the cancerous person, just like the doctor will remove lymph nodes from around a breast containing cancer where that malignancy has spread into those nodes so that they, in turn, don’t spread the toxin to the rest of the body. It is unfortunate but true that a toxic psychopath will frequently have spread their lies and toxins to other people around us that we may also love ”¦ their families, our mutual friends, etc. A “cure” from the toxic psychopath may require us to be NC with those people too, and excise them from our lives as well. The longer the psychopath has been in our lives and the more deeply involved, the more likely this will be necessary. Failing to “bite the bullet” and do this as well may result in a recurrence of the malignancy this person leaves in our lives.
Steve Jobs was a significant personality in our culture. Of course there is no guarantee that if he had elected to have the surgery sooner rather than later, that he would have lived longer or better, but I can guarantee that living with a psychopathic person longer, or trying every “alternative” cure, except total surgical removal, isn’t going to improve your life in any way.
I think even in his death, Steve Jobs left us one more important thing ”¦ a lesson for anyone involved with a toxic relationship of any kind.
Star, yep, It is a difficult lesson. There is an old joke about how I asked God for PATIENCE, RIGHT NOW!!!! LOL
Oxy
Sad how invasive cancer can be. And though we’re in ‘remission’, it does it’s best to re-infect. So we must remain viligent and alert and keep up our strength in order to be able to do battle again should the toxic head try to rise and strike again.
Yeah. GIMME PATIENCE. RIGHT NOW dang it. and Peace. Now keep calm and carry on.
Hens… awwwwww. I wanna dress him. It was one of my favorite parts of mommyhood. The cute outfits. Please indulge and let me again live your joy vicariously.
MiLO
Thanks for the laugh. He was naughty but it’s one of those that you have to LOOK unapproving of at him for his behavior while hiding your own chuckle. NO MORE BEANS or Halloween chocolate for him. They obviously cause gas. 🙂
I have plenty of patience. I just want money. LOL
the three meanings of “patient” = to bear with something, to suffer, to wait. The real hard lesson in life! Thanks for the inspiring thread.
libelle – good point – – we suffered, we waited, we grinned and beared it – to long.. maybe patients isnt always a good virtue
Thanks for the New Yorker article on Steve Jobs. Reading it, I couldn’t help but think of Thomas Alva Edison. Indeed, the first announcement of Jobs’ death compared him to Edison.
Edison was also famously an “editor” or “tweaker” — but mostly a manager. He put the right teams of people together. There’s value to that. So he took credit for their accomplishments, as Steve Jobs also did. If any of these people could have made anything of their ideas, they would have. But maybe Jobs or Edison would have blocked them.
Consider Edison’s scandalous treatment of Nikola Tesla. I believe he also had a falling-out with Edward Acheson, the inventor of the graphite technology in lightbulbs, who ironically ended up in Edison’s hometown.
Edison grew up from the age of about eight in Port Huron, Michigan, 60 miles north of Detroit. This was situated along a railroad line where he sold newspapers after getting kicked out of primary school (ADHD). In a probably-true story that has become legend, an understandably angry conductor threw him off a train — a sign of employment difficulties to come?
The old train station there houses a museum in his honor, where I once talked with the volunteer staff. They do their best to glorify Edison, but then there’s a map with pins on each of the towns Edison got run out of as local telegraph operator. A practical joke in one, a whoopee cushion placed on a co-worker’s chair in another, an involvement with the stationmaster’s daughter in still another. He just couldn’t hold down a job.
Practical jokes were a specialty since childhood. The boy Edison and a few friends got ahold of a bugle and blasted from a hilltop to a fort below, calling the soldiers to assembly. People, it seems, were just pawns in games he played for his own amusement.
It seems somehow appropriate that the actor who played “Young Tom Edison” in the 1940 movie was Mickey Rooney. Rooney arrived in town that year to premiere the film and stayed at the Harrington Hotel. The Harrington is now a residence for senior citizens, also beautifully restored as an elegant hotel. In 2003, to commemorate some anniversary or other related to Edison, Rooney stayed at the Harrington again — with the same people who remembered his rudeness 63 years earlier, and he hadn’t changed a bit.
The ultimate irony was when the retired city manager, an infamous inside dealer, denied the visiting Edison descendants access to the empty lot next to his luxury riverfront condo. The city had tastefully allowed the site of the Edison house to remain undeveloped, but it hadn’t made much allowance for tourists. The former city manager threatened to have the whole family arrested. (Museum staff report that they took the family there anyway, a quick in-and-out, avoiding local police.)
The museum also reveals that Edison nicknamed his first couple of kids “Dot” and “Dash.” To the former telegraph operator, everything looked like a dot or a dash, again just objects to be tinkered with.
Nonetheless, I can’t really claim that Edison was a spath; he apparently mentored a nephew, for one. But no kidding, Jobs makes us think of Edison.
Hi all.
Just wanted to pass along that Candy is “off the Grid”.
She doesn’t have internet. I am sure she will continue to check in when she can (occasionally), but she wanted to say Hi.
She misses you, and everything is going ok.
FAD
FAD,
thanks, I was just wondering about Candy, yesterday.