A romantic relationship with a sociopath can leave a person sour on the opposite sex, or on people in general. I said last week that sociopaths try to train their partners in their disordered thinking patterns. Recovery involves purging the sociopath’s mollifications and seeing the beauty in life again. Recovery means a renewed ability to appreciate the loving connections we still have. Sometimes art, music and cinema can help us do that.
This Christmas we were not able to be with our family in California. But it was a “warm” beautiful day in Connecticut, so the kids and I walked the dog on the beach, went to the movies and ate out at a Chinese restaurant. I recommend the movie we saw because it describes real love between a man and a woman and of course their dog.
The movie, Marley and Me, is based on the true story of a family and Marley “the worst dog in the world.” The lead male character is somewhat unsure of himself but very committed to his family, and his values are contrasted with those of his best friend who has an uncommitted approach to relationships.
The story is also about adult development and the changes we go through between 25 and 40. The ending is rather bittersweet but I was still glad to have seen this movie on Christmas. It is good to be reminded about the importance of love and devotion. Movies can be very powerful tools for that kind of reminding. Although there are a lot of movies that portray the dark side of humanity, there is still a demand for stories like this one. Marley and Me advertises the common place, deep connections we have to our loved ones be they human or canine.
Indigoblue
J A W S
Believe me! We where at the Beach ,Flagler, east coast Florida, on vacation ! :)~ Yeah! Right! Go swimming!? Are you some kind of Crazy??? :)~ I was 11.
The Truth is these Fish (warmblooded fish) are predictable they have regular behavioral patterns. They are not Mindless eating machines! nor monsters. And I for one would rather deal with a GW than a P any day of the week! LOVE JJ
Ox Drover
Anetsu,
Thanks for pointing that out about “prosody”—it is “obvious” and yet most of the time we don’t think about how music “moves” us in the way of changing our moods, up or down.
I did hear a radio show once about fast vs slow music and how it manipulates “time”—so if you are doing a task that you don’t like you play fast music so it will “shorten” the time, and motivate you to work faster or harder.
We all know how a “love song” can make us cry or laugh or feel mushy, yet we don’t think about it much when music does change the way we feel, we just sort of “go with it” without thinking.
Yep. we need to just {quote} write the “alternate ending”!!!
TOWANDA!!!!
Wini
Anestu and Oxy: My favorite song about the likes of all of them is “CRY ME A RIVER”.
Peace.
anetsu
Wini ,
Believe me, I know CRY ME A RIVER. and I am in the middle of it right now.
Oxy: isnt it funny(at least it is to me) How many emotions that these people bring out in us? It makes me realize that I am a well rounded person no matter what my “S” has said to me or about me. In reality, they make us stronger people on a much deeper level than we ever imagined. And in a strange way my “prosody” of life in general has threatened her. In her dire ways of course. I would like to think that if this happened to me with someone who wasnt a sociopath that my eloquence with words and my actions would have made some sort of difference. Of course it never did with her! She used it against me and it is still doing so. We watched all sort of movies together and she even pretended to get into “country music” which I write and told me once my first CD I produced was written about her and I didnt even know her yet. And it was some kind of sign.(LOL)The only movies she cried at and was fixated on were the “fantasy love stories” that she said she wanted her life to be like and of course i couldnt produce!!! I was in a no win situation
Rune
Songs? I was thinking more like “I’m a Creep” by Radiohead, or “Behind Blue Eyes,” by The Who! Or how about “Obsession” by Sarah MacLachlan.
All the feelings you are feeling are YOUR feelings, and they have nothing to do with what he can feel. We must remember this . . . (Oh, wait! That line is from a REAL love song!)
Wini
Anetsu: Yeah, they do make us go deep (sounds like I’m playing football due to this line) … but, at least we can go deep … and are deep. I still refer to them as SD … for surface dwellers … never venturing deep into the emotional waters of life. Now I know what is meant by the saying “still waters run deep” … for they don’t ever go still. They are more like those furious rushing brooks … waters that never settle … never having time to reflect!
I remember asking some of those “nutty” co-workers if they ever take time to go still and reflect. Their answer … “no way, I hate being by myself”. Told me a lot.
Peace.
Ox Drover
Anetsu,
My son C’s X-wife of a year and a half ago was arrested when she and her BF, also a P, tried to kill my son C, but fortunately he got through to 911 before they could.
For a christmas present my son D and I made a CD of mostly country music (but some Sinatra too) of music about “love gone sour, and I’m glad she is gone” songs. I got the idea one day listening to the radio and I heard the old Charlie Daniels song “Thank God and Greyhound She’s Gone!” I laughed and laughed and I thought how great!
We had most of the songs we needed in my son D’s collection, but we had to get on the internet and get a few down loaded 99 cents each but it was a GREAT HIT. We suprised him and played it while we were driving a half hour to eat out at our favorite spot.
Besides that one we had some great ones like Nancy Sinatra’s “These Boots are made for walking” and some that the lyrics were really “bad” and “rude,” but still we had a great time making it up for him, and he enjoys it very much. In fact, he is sending a second copy of it to his buddy who just finally kicked out his own drama queen.
So music can definitely help us with our healing, as well as reflection of just about any kind that has a positive base and lifts our emotions. I meditate and also spend time alone each day, as well as interact with others. I am really picky about who I interact with most of the time and pick people I feel safe with and that are uplifting rather than “down draggers.”
Wini
Oxy, what a great idea for a … starting over and making it gift!
Rune
I recommend Paul Simon’s “Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover.”
“Just slip out the back, Jack. Make a new plan, Stan. No need to be coy, Roy. Just get yourself free! Just get on the bus, Gus. No need to discuss much . . .”
The words are harsh, but as the ones who know how to care and who get ourselves entangled, we can use the encouragement to free ourselves. The Ps? They’re “already gone.” Even when they’re with us!
Ox Drover
Rune, that one was on the CD along with “Hit the road Jack, don’t you come back no more, no more, Hit the road jack” I wore out 2 45s of tht record when I was a kid. My MOM hated that son with a passion. LOL It still makes me want to dance! LOL
I think more than anything, it was a good laugh and we can use all the laughs we can get! LOL