By December 28, 2011 47 Comments Read More →

Suffering, Agony and The Pathway to Peace

Editor’s note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud’s statement on Spiritual Recovery.

There are times when I feel completely lost in all this pain, with no way out.  It is as if I have been completely abandoned in a world full of hurt.  There seems to be no one, or no thing, that I can trust anymore.  All of the things that I used to enjoy only bring me temporary relief, at best.  My mind obsesses about what happened, what could have been, and what misery the future holds.  It feels as though my very life has been taken from me.  Hopelessness has become my home, and fear my constant companion.

If you recognize this state of mind, “you are not alone”.  I found Hope is these simple words, and today, believe that hope is the single greatest gift that one person can provide to another.  The reason these words were so comforting to me is because those that said it, did so from a place that I was seeking.  That place was peace and happiness.  I thought I would never experience peace and happiness again, but there it was in front of me.  It was being offered by people that had been to the Hell that I described above and knew the way out.  The result was Hope.

And what is Hope after all?  Hope is the belief that we can overcome whatever tragedy or suffering that is in our lives at the current moment.

The past few postings here have presented some of the Spiritual concepts that lead to peace, but this week we will talk about the key to freedom and offer a way out, if interested.  The key to Peace, and the invitation for a Miracle, resides in one of the simplest, yet most misunderstood of all spiritual teachings.  This misunderstanding makes this simple step one of the most difficult ever taken, but by far, the most meaningful.  The only way to overcome the past, is to let it go.

Our freedom resides in our willingness and ability to Forgive.

Forgive is one of the most misunderstood words in the English language.  In fact, many people are “put off” by the very idea and recoil from the suggestion because of what they “think” forgiveness means.  The act of forgiveness does not release the perpetrator from responsibility for their crimes, nor condone the behavior. Forgiving the perpetrator does NOT mean we trust them, or like them.  Forgiveness is about Letting Go, a process that releases us from another’s destructive hold over our lives.

Many of us understand why forgiveness is important and the profound affects that it can have on our lives and the lives of those around us, but few know how to do it. Most, however, know very little about the sometimes devastating physical illnesses and damaged relationships that are caused by our inability to let go of the past.

It took me a tremendous amount of suffering before I recognized that my past was poisoning the current moment, all of my relationships, and robbing me of my Peace of mind.  Without knowing it, I was using my past to harm me, and those I loved.  Finally, it became so painful that I decided to stop bludgeoning myself to death and try something different.  It turned out to be just The Miracle that I was looking for.

When I started this series my hope was that I could offer the step by step process of letting go through this blog, but although simple, it is not that easy.  Our culture today promises everything in an instant, as if that is the solution to our problems.  This often creates an expectation that suggests immediate results.  This leads to more discouragement and compounds the original mistake, by adding a feeling of unworthiness and failure.  The process of letting go requires willingness, sharing, and a commitment to get free that most are not yet willing to accept.

I will continue to write weekly here, but for those that are interested and willing to go more deeply into the process of letting go, please join A Course In Forgiving  (begins January 19, 2012).  I did not come here to promote The Course, but to offer it to those that feel moved to do something more about the pain in their lives.

This Course is designed to guide participants through the Step by Step Spiritual Process of Letting Go with weekly lessons, readings and exercises that are intended to open the pathway to healing and Peace.  If you would like to donate up to $25.00 for the six week online course, thank you, but please do not feel obligated to pay for The Course.

If interested, please visit www.victorythroughpeace.com and click the link in the left hand column titled “Six Week Course Online”.  For those that participate, I will be available by phone and email to share experience in addition to this weekly blog on Lovefraud.


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47 Comments on "Suffering, Agony and The Pathway to Peace"

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Dragonleigh: I am sorry you understood and related to what I said.

I am touched that I ‘validated’ you.

You and I understand what that is like: ‘having the skin peeled from your body’ and watching them try it on. You can see it in ‘hindsight’, now, I know you can, just like I see it in my situation. It’s ‘chilling’ but at the same time, very educational.

8 years of NC; I am almost to my 8th MONTH, let alone years, My Dear….Yes, thanks for ‘warning’ me that it still feels a ‘bit crazy’…yes, they tried to devour not only the very essence of US but in my case, “IT” tried to devour “ME”. ALL OF ME.

Dragonleigh…I am so sorry this happened to you and in your lifetime. Cling to your value and your worth. Stand up and be that dynamic person I just know you are. If you do that, and stay true to yourself, you will be just fine. And that is my prayer and my wish for you. Hear me?

You and I appear to have walked the same side of the tracks on this one. We have both seen evil at it’s absolute finest. I can tell because you understood what I said. That is a whole lot of evil. Like a deer being caught in the headlights. That kind of evil. I know how cold and dark and the madness that follows.

I am so happy to know that something I have said has touched you and helped you. You have quite made my day and left it ending on a smile. Thank you for your feedback. It means a lot.

Learning is knowledge and knowledge is the information we need to live and to heal. We will then have that power. We have always had the power but we relinquished it for a while, trusting another’s intentions were as pure of heart as our’s was when we know that is really not the case; don’t we?

Stay true to yourself.

Lifetime hugs Dragonleigh…


Dear Dupey,

Hugs and Blessings to you 🙂 Your words are like a healing balm.
It warms my heart to know I was able to bring a smile to your face and ‘made your day’, so to speak, the validation and the knowledge that I get from your words and the words of others on this amazing site have been very healing for me.

Woohoo!!!! 8months NC, way to go!!!!!

10 yrs ago left abusise marriage ,9rs stalker spath, 8 yrs since my ex-b/f spath(true evil), 4 yrs ex friend/co worker, 2 yrs toxic (for me) mother………..WOW!!!!!……….LOL, No wonder I feel battle weary and tired at only 47, all NC except my mom. Even though I have stumbled many times…..I’m still Standing…..I’m still ME; Kind, Compassionate, Empathic, Loyal, Loving and Ethicial.

Cling to your value and your worth. Stand up and be that dynamic person I just know you are. If you do that, and stay true to yourself, you will be just fine. And that is my prayer and my wish for you. Hear me?

Dupey, I hear you loud and clear 🙂 Lol, Just what I needed to hear, had an operation a month or so ago and was starting to like the hibernation/retreat from life, a little to much I think.
I pray and wish the same prayer for you.((((HUGS))))

NC Rocks!!!!
Spath Free Rules!!!!

Blessings to all.

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