Lovefraud invites you to complete a survey about your experience with a sociopath/psychopath/narcissist in order to help professionals diagnose this disorder properly.
Two days ago, the American Psychiatric Association released a draft of the fifth edition its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM 5). This book is the standard classification of mental disorders used by mental health and other professionals. The revision has been underway for a decade.
A work group of 11 doctors and psychologists focused on the section about personality and personality disorders. They have recommended significant changes to the description of antisocial personality disorder, which is also referred to as sociopathy and psychopathy. In fact, one of the suggestions is to change the name of the personality disorder to “antisocial/psychopathic type.”
The new description of the disorder is much closer to what most of us at Lovefraud have experienced. You can read the description here:
Antisocial/Psychopathic Type
The American Psychiatric Association has invited public comment on the draft of DSM 5, and Lovefraud is taking the doctors up on their invitation. We thought the best way to do it would be to survey our readers, asking you how well the proposed description of antisocial/psychopathic type matches your experience with one (or more) of these individuals.
Please take the survey. This is serious, so be thoughtful and accurate in your responses. It will probably take you about 15 minutes, so please start it when you are sure you have time to complete it.
The survey will be open until March 3, 2010. After that, we will tabulate and analyze the data. We will prepare a report of the findings for the American Psychiatric Association. The results will also be published on Lovefraud.
Go to the survey:
i wish i knew that “sociopath” & “antisocial personality disorder” were the same thing before i married the S, who had been diagnosed with the latter….
Well, Ember, now ya know. We can learn from our mistakes… when we know better we do better, they never do.
Are you a new voice, here, or have I just missed you in the past?
Frank Lee Speaking: To me, your 33 descriptors are as close as I’ve seen to a summary description of the woman I identify as a sociopath, and other sociopaths described by their “victims” in various support groups I’ve participated in. Well said!
Ember: Just to clarify, think of “sociopath” as an umbrella for a range of behaviors that *include* antisocial personality disorder. The words aren’t exactly synonymous, but a lot of what we can learn about one sociopath will help us to understand other similarly disordered people (and more importantly, how to avoid them). Loosely speaking, the person who fits the strict criteria for antisocial personality disorder is the worst of the worst, and often lands in prison at a young age — but there are very clever sociopaths who remain among us for their entire lives.
Hi folks. I’ve been getting on with life, or trying to. Every now and then I need to check in here, to remind myself that there’s evil lurking out there. I hope you’re all getting on. . . .
interesting survey. I think “anti-social personality disorder” is decent; my ex even called himself anti-social. The thing is, so am I a little bit. So does that include me in the mix?
My counselor uses the term “abuser.” I kind of like that one. It acknowledges the actions these people perform on others. The only problem with it, though, is that it makes me “abused,” which I don’t want to be.
LouiseGolem,
“Abused” is a label that makes us “victims” and it is a hard reality to admitt but one we have to own and in time shed. If we remain in the “abused-vicitm” mode it only makes us susseptable to atract new “abusers” to sustantiate this reality. I like to think of my self now as the “phoenix” a bird that rises from the ashes and soars again.
Funny thing is one of my sisters would never call the ex NS by his name, only “the abuser”…..and I resented it so much because it made me feel like the “abused” too!….another words like a victim.
I agree with Oxy’s explanation post Saturday, 13 February 2010 @....... 5:48pm; we are studying this in class this week – I had a copy of the “Prosecutor’s Statement of the Case” regarding Gary Ridgway (The Green River Killer), and had made a copy for him, since he’s our AbPsych instructor.
Reading that “indictment” is chilling; the excerpts from the psychiatrists and psychologist who had the opportunity to interview him – I envy them and pity them – simply because they got to see true evil and stare him in the face.
I have also given my instructor the link to this survey along with the proposed revision for DSM-V; hopefully, he, with his 21 years of practice, as a professional and as an educator, will participate in some manner in the surveys and recommendations.
It’s a sad situation, in that everyone who has found LF has gotten here through the school of hard knocks, myself included. BUT, if the NASP is out of our life, then the education has been well worth it. We know what to look for, and have become attuned to those types of behaviors. I like Oxy’s way of putting it: “One lie (or act of deceitfulness) and ‘THERE’S the DOOR’ ” is an excellent rule of thumb.
~j~
I just took the survey, and I have to say that the sociopath I dealt with did not aim any anger towards me. One of the questions was about anger, and I didn’t see it often in him; I don’t know if anger is common in sociopaths. He remained calm, I mean really calm, chillingly calm. Calm when he lied, calm when he cheated, calm when he left. If he would have gotten angry, or sad (other then the crocodile tears), or passionate, or anything..it would have been a relief. But he was really calm even during times of crisis; I didn’t see the angry side. He still writes me on the first of every month and says the child support check is in the mail…it isn’t. The lies don’t stop, and when I wrote back that he hasn’t sent me a child support check (I wrote just in case it comes to “back child support” in court). He agreed and said that he owed me his “spiritual help” along with financial help…that he was working on a magnificant future for the baby that neither of us currently live in or will ever know of. Still no child support check, but the grandiose ideas of the perfect future for the baby and the lying doesn’t stop. Still no anger either. I have anger. I am angry. I was angry all the time towards him when we were together. He was never towards me and he still maintains a calm towards me for whatever reason. I loved the calm at first when we were together, but now it just gives me the heeby jeebies; there is something just not right about that calm.
when he did show anger it was always towards a walgreens worker, or someone he didn’t know. He would randomly show aggression towards strangers…but never to me
He would insult me all the time, but he didn’t show any anger. Does that make sense…
I thought this was a great idea – filled out 2, one for my father, one for my stepfather.
However there are some questions that don’t really take into account the fact that you may have been a child when you knew this person (aside from putting in your age range). They also don’t take into account the possibility that the person may be deceased or has been deceased for a long time.
My father died when I was 7, so any thoughts I now have about him I certainly did not have “during the time this person was in your life.” As a child, during the time he was “in my life,” I had no concept of noting his behaviors, his feelings, or how my perception of him changed over time. I did not have most of this information until after I was 30 years old and my mom began to tell me what she had gone through.
There’s also the problem of gaping holes in my memory. I have selectively remembered only times when he would be a caring and fun parent. I remember him taking me out for ice cream, or ice skating, or bringing me home books about the solar system or dinosaurs. I have no memory of any abuse or battering of my mother before age 6 or 7. My sister who was 2 years younger remembers many things, like my mom waking us up and leaving with us in the middle of the night to get away from him. This happened on more than one occasion, yet I am totally blank.
There was also an odd question about rage and anger. I have experienced 2 sociopaths – my father who was charming and charismatic and successful, but in secret an angry raging alcoholic who beat my mother and never showed any remorse or guilt. The trauma I and my siblings suffered was a byproduct of what that environment made us witness. I do not believe there was any direct abuse perpetrated by him on his children, although of course creating such an environment is in itself abusive.
And there was my stepfather, who was also charming and charismatic and was never angry about anything. For the 10 years he lived with us (and legally adopted us after he married my mother) he was the the caring father figure. He lived with my mother until I was a young adult at 19. My mother was the
the one who was emotionally abusive whenever she became angry at us, with her door-slamming rages when she refused to speak to us or acknowledge us. I was the oldest, a tomboy, and he was my pal, my friend, who taught me how to ride a bike, and how to drive. He took me hiking and camping. He was welcome shelter from my mother’s episodes of hostility.
Later on, by the time I was in high school, I began to notice some things – like the way my mother had always catered to him but neglected the needs of her children. The middle child, my sister, had always had some kind of intuitive feeling that she did not like him. She told me this but could not tell me why.
He was worse than my father – because he took a 3-year-old child’s innocence, and continued taking it for years. He used my mother, going to school while she worked, a schedule that gave him ample opportunity to be there when my youngest sister came home from school. He had affairs with neighbors, and my mother’s best friend, a woman she worked with. When my mother inherited money from my grandmother’s estate, he helped her spend it in reckless and selfish ways. And then he left her once he had gotten a good-paying job, and her money was gone, and the object of his pederasty became too old for him.
It can be difficult to compare 2 sociopaths and say which one is worse. But for my money, the pederast wins over the batterer. Either one of them could have committed murder by accident or by design. I am convinced of that. I’m all for the long definition,
“Antisocial/Psychopathic Type.” I think it’s more descriptive. Having an Anti-Social disorder is not only about maladjusted types who can’t fit into society. Calling them Psychopaths leaves room for the people who, like both of mine, appear to be fine upstanding citizens, unless you’re unfortunate enough to become privy to their dark side.
Well I guess I should add my grandmother while I’m at it. 3! Yes 3 generations of sociopaths in my family! At least the ones I know about! It’s just the gift that keeps on giving!
Dear Bird,
First off WWWWWELCOME HOME!!!!! Glad to see you still here.
Anger? What IS ANGER? If he talked bad or ugly to you, I think that is ANGER. Anger can be expressed in SO many ways, like even with just a LOOK or an unkind word. So if he treated you poorly (which Iknow he did) maybe that was his form of ANGER.
I’m actually GLAD he is not paying child support, because in the end it will help you get any “parental” rights he has canceled….so hopefully you can get him entirely out of your life and your baby’s life. How is my sweet little “Baby Birdie?” I hope he is growing and doing well. He must be a BIG boy by now!
Thank you so much for checking in from time to time. I think about you and Baby Birdie so much and wish you well and all my best thoughs and prayers. Sweeze his fat little cheeks for his “Aunty Oxy!” and give him a BIG ))))Hug))))) Love Oxy