Lovefraud invites you to complete a survey about your experience with a sociopath/psychopath/narcissist in order to help professionals diagnose this disorder properly.
Two days ago, the American Psychiatric Association released a draft of the fifth edition its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM 5). This book is the standard classification of mental disorders used by mental health and other professionals. The revision has been underway for a decade.
A work group of 11 doctors and psychologists focused on the section about personality and personality disorders. They have recommended significant changes to the description of antisocial personality disorder, which is also referred to as sociopathy and psychopathy. In fact, one of the suggestions is to change the name of the personality disorder to “antisocial/psychopathic type.”
The new description of the disorder is much closer to what most of us at Lovefraud have experienced. You can read the description here:
Antisocial/Psychopathic Type
The American Psychiatric Association has invited public comment on the draft of DSM 5, and Lovefraud is taking the doctors up on their invitation. We thought the best way to do it would be to survey our readers, asking you how well the proposed description of antisocial/psychopathic type matches your experience with one (or more) of these individuals.
Please take the survey. This is serious, so be thoughtful and accurate in your responses. It will probably take you about 15 minutes, so please start it when you are sure you have time to complete it.
The survey will be open until March 3, 2010. After that, we will tabulate and analyze the data. We will prepare a report of the findings for the American Psychiatric Association. The results will also be published on Lovefraud.
Go to the survey:
One Step,
Rudyard Kipling was an Anglo- Indian, and in those days of the British Empire, many children were born of Indian Mothers and British fathers. The sad part is, they were accepted by NEITHER race, the Indians rejected them, the Brits rejected the, they had a terrible life. The Brits use to make them stick out their tongues when they applied fora job, and if they had “Lilac” coloured tongues, or Lilac finger nails,{which the brits also inspected,} of course they got much less pay.Rudyard was a product of the British Empire ,fiercely loyal to Queen Victoria, a bit jingoistic, but he also wrote some wonderful poems and stories. I love the “Just So’ stories, especially “The Cat who walked by himself,” and “The Elephants Child.”These stories beg to be read out loud, as there isa cadence and a rhythm to them thats wonderful. he also wrote the famous poem,”If”, which starts, “If you can keep your head, when all around you
Are losing theirs, and blaming it on you”. This is Sarah the Duchess of Yorks favourite Poem.{Fergie.}
Many old Anglo Indians, to this day, are fiercely proud of being “British”.
Ps Thanks for including my sweet on your valentine! Do they want the recipe included? much Love, Gem.XX
Erin,
What about Alex Baldwin calling his daughter,Ireland, a “selfish little Pig” over the phone! This was after his divorce from Kim Basinger.I bet he didnt know it was being recorded!
What a loser to have as a Dad!
Love, Gem.XX
Oxy, as you know, sometimes that mouse, which knows its in the sights of a snake or a bird of Prey, will “freeze” with shock, go completely immobile, and sort of resign itself to being eaten. Like, “Game Over, I lose.”
I guess we are lucky at LF that we escaped in time, and came here to live and read and LEARN not to be prey any longer. or maybe, we too could have ‘frozen’ and just sit waiting to be “eaten alive” by the spaths in our lives.
Knowledge is power, and anger is the rocket fuel that jet propells us out of their sick sorry lives.Love, Gem.XX
Dear Gem,
Yes, “freezing” is a startle response, and a couple of times in my life I have been so startled (physically) that I FROZE in place….only reacting about 10 seconds later.
The second time this happened to me, I was in a very crowded theater watching “Jaws” and when the underwater scene came along and the suspense built, when the head feel out of the boat underwater—EVERYONE SCREAMED for about 10 seconds and just at the end of the 10 seconds when everyone else was screaming, and it got dead quiet, at that point I STOOD UP AND SCREAMED “OH, SHEEEEET” in the dead QUIET theater– years later I was telling a woman about this and laughing and she said “Was that in a theater in Jacksonville?” I said, “Why, yes, how did you know?” She said I WAS THERE!!!!!! ROTFLMAO
Sometimes the freeze response cause the animal to die on the spot because it doesn’t run in time, other times, it gives the animal a time to assess which way the danger is coming from so it can flee in the right direction away from the danger. Donkeys (asses) do this, and then when they run a ways, stop and reassess the danger. Horses on the other hand bolt off pell mell wihtout thinking and sometimes get themselves into trouble by running blindly in fear.
When captured and held securely, many prey animals “self pacify” by sort of going into shock and quit struggling, which in a way makes their “passing” easier and less painful. I have seen antelope caught by an inexperienced big cat from the rear just lie there, and even their corneal responses are abscent. (touching their eyeball doesn’t make them blink) Temple Grandlin’s squeeze chutes for cattle works on this principle and the cattle stop struggling when held securely in a squeeze.
I had observed this in the mid-1960s when I was doinjg the wild life photography in South Africa, but didn’t put it to USE as she did and she revolutionized the livestock handling industry.
You are so right, anger is the ROCKET FUEL that makes us take action. I hope you are doing well Gem! I know it is a tough road, but you and I are a couple of tough old birds, they may get us down but they can’t EAT us—they don’t have enough teeth to chew through the TOUGH! (((hugs))))
After a tremendously long sleepless night, I have to admit defeat. He has won, he has broken me. I tried to stay upbeat, positive, see myself through this but now the reality of my situation slaps me right in my face.
I am sitting here in a house with no heat, the furnace blew two weeks ago and I cannot afford to fix it. Of course, it is the coldest winter we have seen in years, along with a freak snowstorm last week.
My beautiful newish car has been towed away by the repossession guys and in a few weeks, the foreclosure notice will go up on my house, and I have no idea where we will go.
The house that my grandmother gave us the down payment for so my boys would grow up in a home…all because I was starting my own business and could not show income, we had to put the house in his name…now it comes back to haunt me…
Through all of that, I tried to stay on an even keel, but he did the one thing I tried to stop. He successfully canceled my son’s health insurance. I notified everyone he may try to do this but his previous company had no “legal” duty to tell me that this was happening, so they didn’t…never mind that they knew what was going on and that I alone was paying the COBRA premiums…and I do not find out until my son’s prescription is not delivered. The prescription that cost $1528.00 per month in order to keep him out of the hospital. My son, who his step-father and the soon2bex claimed to love until the child support from his biological father ran out last summer when my son turned 18.
All because I no longer could live with him and his drug abuse and lies upon lies, disrespect and his attitude when my son turned 18. I didn’t realize I had a “spath” until after he was gone.
And now my business, that I spent 10 years building, and he may get half of it, or I may have to give it up and find a job, if I even can, and one with insurance and even then my son’s condition will be “pre-existing”.
So now I am broken and I want to rage, I want to tear him limb from limb, call him, email him and call him everything except “white bread” but I know if I do that he will know he has won. So I am here typing furiously trying so desperately not to…
I didn’t think he could break me, I thought I could make it, I was wrong….
Maybe the word is getting out:
http://www.montrealgazette.com/news/todays-paper/Friends+real+person/2565570/story.html
Elizabeth Conley: this is great! Maybe that should be part of our education strategy – sending one copy of an appropriate book to a dupe in a big scandal. I think that one of the Maddoff dupes would be open – hmmm, can’t remember her name of f the top of my head – she’s written about eating disorders over the years.
I think we need to send one to the Colone’s wife in Trenton Canada.
Myboysmattermost,
Im so sorry for what you are going through right now.
Does your state offer a public insurance program for your son?
You are right not to call him…
You will get through this SOMEHOW… take one day at a time… try to decided whats most important to focus on right now…maybe either the insurance issue (if your son is over 18 -can your son speak to him about it? Can your son say to him Dad my prescription was denied what am I to do?
You must be so enraged. Im so glad you didnt call him. THAT would break you — you are not broken — you are set back right now — but you WILL make it — take a deep breath, slow down the pace — TODAY you are okay — and you will figure out a plan. You WILL be okay. Just going to be very challenging but theres noway you are going to let him win.
He already lost!!! You just have to break it down and focus on one thing at a time.. Keep sharing your thoughts here…something will give soon enough
I love it! This information is now on my ‘stick drive’ and will be made available to others in my abnormal psych class…we have been discussing the DSM-IV, and I’ve been particularly interested, and vocal about, the DSM-V.
I agree – while the new definition/s aren’t perfect, they are a step in the right direction.
‘~j~
Dear Myboys,
I am so sorry you are going through this terrible ordeal. Can you get your son on Medicaide or get him social security disability payments since his condition was pre-age-18? Can you get food stamps or any kind of social “welfare” payments? I know it is difficult to get out and seek that kind of thing, but there are some helps out there, including heating bills for those unable to pay. Contact your heat provider. Ditto electric. There are also food pantry places where they give you emergency food. You might also contact legal aid and see if they can help you with the court.
I sit here and shake my head at the devestation that they cause. ((((hugs)))) and my prayers for you!