By Ox Drover
Today I had an epiphany: I am happy. Really happy. Joyously happy. Exuberantly happy. Why is today different that any other day? Two months ago I was unhappy. Why am I now happy? Nothing much has really changed from two months ago.
I’m a few pounds lighter, but that isn’t what makes me happy, though, I am working on losing some weight. My bank account is quite a bit lighter than it was two months ago, so that isn’t what is making me happy. The psychopaths in my life don’t like me one bit more than they did two months ago. I haven’t found the love of my life riding on a white horse, or even a white donkey.
What is making me happy? Well, today I saw the “Bluebird of Happiness.” Yep, the real honest-to-goodness bright bluebird of happiness. Two Eastern Bluebirds, both males with colors so vibrant that I actually had to get my bird book and look them up to make sure of what I was seeing. Not the dull blue of the bluebirds we normally see in this area, who nest in holes in fence posts or in the boxes people put out for them. These were the true Eastern Bluebirds.
Why did seeing these birds and ascribing them to happiness “make me happy?” Well, I have chosen today to be happy, to look for one thing that would lift my spirits, to make myself feel happy, rather than dwelling on the many things in my life and environment that are not to my liking, or that I would change if I could, but I can’t.
I have chosen today to view those two male Eastern Bluebirds, sitting side by side on the top of a farm implement, and then flying down to my studio window where they see their own reflection and peck at these mirror images of themselves to drive off the images, to select for themselves breeding territory and to defend that territory from those imaginary birds that are trying to take over and claim that happiness and territory for themselves.
The sun is shining today, and the air is crisp and spring-like, and these birds are the harbingers of spring. After all the drab, miserable, wet and cold winter weather we had, the tough times are passing and the world and my spirits are renewing. I have a favorite book called Come Spring that is the story of a pioneer girl in upstate New York, when the U.S. was still a colonial part of the British Empire, and her stories of the terrible winters of her life and the lack of food and warmth and safety were all put aside because she believed that everything would be okay, “Come Spring.”
Well, today with the birth of a little calf and the sighting of two Eastern Bluebirds, my spring is here, and I am going to embrace it. Everything is okay, now that my spring is here. The winter is passed, and today is good.
Dear Guys, Thanks so much for your comments! I just got home from the College Graduation ceremony (a 3-hr drive one-way away) Would rather have had a root canal or a colonoscopy than go to a graduation, but did enjoy seeing the young man who was 16 when the plane crash happened, and to see him alive, well, and graduating with a BS in Aviation, his commercial pilot’s license and a smile on his face! Plus, they had GREAT food and I ate at the family’s private reception for close friends and relatives until I almost split! So much for the diet! Ha ha
Yea, we’ve all had some really bad times, ,but you know the thing is that EACH DAY gives us a new chance to make it better than the one before! I try my best to keep that positive outlook—some days I do better than others, just like you do! But on the days I do succeed in taking advantage of even a simple thing to brighten my mood it is so good!
When we drove into the farm tonight, son D stopped the car and turned off all the lights to watch the fireflies. More than either one of us had ever seen at one time, like the whole world was blinking with random white lights spread out as far as the eye could see. We sat there for probably 10 minutes and just watched them….remembering how we had chased them when we were little kids, filling quart fruit jars with dozens of them in a futile effort to make a “lantern” but never disappointed enough to quiit trying!
Have a good night guys, and a better tomorrow! ((((hugs)))) and God bless us all!
Thanks Oxy,
It’s nice to read something positive and I’m happy for you this day.
unfortunately I saw the chicken of depression and am having bad day. I’m having menopausal flashes that disturb contentment. inner climate has gone beserk. From too cold to boiling hot…it’s like Global warming only it’s from within.’ Power surge’ ? my ass.
bp – ‘Power surge’ ? my ass. ‘ 🙂
‘the chicken of depression’ – maybe that’s the ‘buzzard of depression.’
Dear Bullet proof,
Unfortunately, the power surge of hell can penitrate where bullets cannot go! Been there darling! Yep, tis awful!!!! It will get better though–in a decade or so! UGH! That was so unkind for me to say that, but “the truth will set you free but first it will PITH you Off!”
Back in my day we took hormones but now they don’t think that is such a great idea, at least long term! You might though, go see your doc and see if there is something that would help sort of ween you off the hormones more gently than COLD TURKEY! (((hugs)))))
bio identical hormones are worth a look. saved my life literally. whereas the reg. pharma ones were almost as bad as the problem.
this guy is my gynecologist, and has extensive experience with bio identicals.
http://www.drpettle.com/bio-identical-hormones.htm
Polly, Your comment about when we lost our wonder while with the P was so bang on. I usd to find simple things to make me feel alive, and he would always scorn them, or ignore, or take whatever little happiness I had found away if he could. Even singing, I noticed early on was not okay around him. I have a pleasant enough voice, and everytime we were on a long drive and I hummed a tune, he would interrupt with some innanity. I mentioned it several times, but he just shrugged. In the end I just stopped singing.
Now 2 1/2 yrs into NC _ (other than the court battle, which is obviously quite C) I have found my voice, my eyes, my sense of wonder once again.
And thank you Oxy for sharing your joy. Bluebirds and fireflies, yes there are many reasons for delight. All the evil is behind us now. We are free.
Hugs,
Dear Anitasee
I think sometimes we wait to be happy untill we win the “emotional lotto” of good things, but we miss all the small happinesses that reach out to us today and dismiss them as not important enough, not big enough to make us “happy.” In fact, the blue birds and fire flies of this life are what add up I think to the richness of the LOTTO OF HAPPINESS–one “coin” at a time!
Ox,
The voices of hope, redemption and harmony have never sung more clearly than in your words.
May a light breeze swirl around your happiness and tickle your giggles every day after.
Ah, shucks, Silver (hanging head and twirling toe in dust in mock humility!) LOL I need reminding myself to keep my eyes on the blue birds and the fire flies of life and to appreciate their special purpose, which is to make us see the joy all around us. It really is the little things that count!
Cold turkey, buzzards
No it was a visit from the chicken of depression like I said.
Oxy I gotta get a doctor and get something for this. I was down at the local health shop and I got black cohosh, Red clover and soya isoflavins…cost a fortune…but it’s soooo super bad. Walked about 6 miles, jogged for about one of em and the flashes stopped. They make me feel like running.
small happiness today? flashes stopped after loads of exercize, as I was walking back to car, stripped down to tight T shirt, a guy in a car winked at me….no it wasnt that creepy it was kinda nice, seeing as i was on fire with meonpausal discomfort….men o pause…that could be a code for pause with the men, stop men for a while…I couldnt date someone having hot flashes…He would be terrified…ha ha ha
small happpinesses. This life has been a kind of hell to be honest. Being on the home run comforts me big time….get me outtta here!!