Today I’ve decided to tackle a different subject. Why? Because once again, just this week, I’ve been horrified by the sociopathic behaviour of a corporation towards one of my dearest friends. This friend of mine, I’ll call him Jack, is a hugely talented, dedicated professional who has worked all his life in the people industry. He is a Managing Director, and has the most incredible people-skills. Teams who work with him — even those who may have been somewhat disparate before his arrival — will galvanize together and with him to deliver outstanding results. He is, in my opinion, a superstar who genuinely cares for people and who gives his all to his employers. He’s always been that way. Oh — his input also ensures that his teams win countless national awards for their efforts.
Pretty good credentials eh, wouldn’t you think? Well, I would. And so would his team. And so does just about everybody who knows him – he has an incredible reputation, is well-liked, and fantastic at what he does, because he loves what he does. His most recent employer is a massive and well-respected organization who list among their values “honesty, integrity, courage and fairness”. Yes, they are big words. But those big words can be found in so many typically cheesy mission statements that are stuck up on so many walls of global businesses — and ignored. Jack and I are no strangers to corporate-speak. We’ve both played in the professional arena for most of our lives and have experienced many kinds of corporate animal along the way.
“But you know what, Mel?” he’d enthused at the beginning of last year “This is such a refreshing difference, because this company actually means what they say. They’re true to their values, and I’m really glad to be here!”
Pathalogical Lying
But”¦ and it’s a huge but”¦ his faith was mis-guided because, these values on which my dear friend and so many others had hung their hats, turned out to be nothing more than pathological lies.
“Oh, come along now Mel, isn’t that a bit harsh?” Yes, some people may well say that. And the thing is, it’s because so many people continue with that line whenever corporations behave badly towards their employees (and suppliers, and customers, and so many human beings who are touched by their actions) that they continue to get away with what I now term text-book corporate sociopathic behaviour.
“It’s a dog eat dog world out there!” “It’s not personal, it’s just business!” “Well, you’ve got to be tough to survive in this industry!” Those are typical examples of the excuses for poor behaviour that I hear time and time again during my professional career as a leadership and team development specialist. And it concerns me that it’s deemed “ok” to treat people in the business world in a completely different fashion from the “real” world. It’s “ok” to squeeze every last drop of loyalty from employees. It’s “ok” to promise great rewards, and then cull people at the whim of a new board executive who “didn’t like somebody’s face”
In business, human beings often become faceless numbers — and ambitious, hard-hitting leaders can get away with being ruthless manipulators. “The bottom line is king!” is a mantra that seems to excuse what I would deem inhuman behaviour towards the lifeblood of the organization – the human beings who make it happen. Figures, statistics and profit have taken over — yes, I realize, of course, that these elements are what make the wheels of industry turn. Don’t worry, I’m not turning in to some flakey hippy-type, burning josticks and spouting free-love and peace to all (well, not yet in any case!). I am a successful businesswoman myself. Of course I work to create money — that’s why I’m in business! But”¦ and here’s the important difference”¦ I know that my business depends on the people within it. My team. My clients. My suppliers. We have a simple mission statement “To create raving fans”. And that’s what we do. And in order to do that, we therefore have to be honest courageous, fair — and whatever other number of values Jack’s employers spouted as their guiding values. Makes sense, doesn’t it?
No Conscience
Jack’s employers, however, like so many other companies I have come across in my time, have proven themselves as little more than conmen who will manipulate the truth, believing themselves to be above the law, and turning on the very people who have upheld their banner for them — showing no remorse and no empathy. Hmmm”¦ does this ring any bells here?
Fine, some may suggest that I’m merely jumping on the sociopathic bandwagon to make a point. Others may say that I will spot psychopaths everywhere since I now know what to look out for. I say that my personal experience has now simply allowed me to pinpoint more clearly where those sociopathic tendencies are showing themselves within an organization. Whether it’s seeped in to the culture, whether it’s led and encouraged by the board, or whether it’s just the specific behaviour of an individual. How far it may have spread, and what steps can be taken to counter it. And, trust me – these behaviours can be so hard to spot, and can lull so many wide-eyed and loyal employees in to a false sense of security, that by the time they realise what’s happening it’s too late. Another all-too familiar story perhaps…?
Is it really right that people should come in to work and behave completely differently as human beings? There is an advert on British TV at the moment, asking why we behave aggressively when we’re driving cars, if we wouldn’t behave that way walking down a crowded street? It conveys its message in an amusing and clever way. And to me, it’s exactly the same thing in business. For many years (way before I knew anything about sociopathy!) I have been banging on about the dangers of what I call “corporate double-speak” — the business-babble language that seems to exist purely in the business world. Why say, for example, “we must secure more resources” when what they mean is “I could do with some more people—¦? In my mind, that kind of distancing terminology at the very least merely serve to depersonalize, and in the worst cases desensitizes to the point where we forget we are dealing with human beings. Real people who have real feelings and real lives! It’s clever and it’s subtle – but it’s brainwashing.
Control and Manipulation
Let me ask this in another way. How ‘just’ do you think it is that a company hires a highly respected and experienced people-manager on the promise of long employment and great rewards? That the same company encourages this manager to go out on a limb and “do things differently” in order to get the job done? And that at the flick of a switch, that same company then tells the manager (who has succeeded in achieving the impossible, through dedication, devotion, and putting years of valuable experience in to play) that they have decided on an organisational re-structure and that his role is no longer valid? Fair enough, you may say, business changes. Of course it does. I agree. But what I don’t agree with was the fact that this manager was then accompanied off the premises like a criminal, but wasn’t allowed to say anything to his team. In fact, he wasn’t given any further information — nor was he allowed to share his news or voice his fears to anyone else within the company. He was forbidden to answer calls and emails from his concerned staff. He was given no opportunity to ask for detailed explanations (“your case will be discussed at next week’s meeting — not before”). He was isolated in every sense of the word. Or, as another person put it, was treated to “Mushroom Management”… kept in the dark and fed on shit.
Now, I’d call that kind of behaviour abusive — wouldn’t you?
This treatment went on for over three weeks — can you imagine how his team must have been feeling, deserted by a boss they respect and admire? Are they really going to be willing or able to give their heart and soul again in the future — once bitten twice shy and all that. On top of that, does this kind of short-sighted decision-making really take in to account the long-term health of the company? Surely this is just another example of impulsive behaviour, and a failure to accept responsibility for such actions — you can bet your bottom dollar my friend will be paraded as the scapegoat, while ”˜those at the top’ continue to twist and turn their decisions, re-defining the goal-posts whenever boredom strikes again? Leaving the teams to wonder “what did I do wrong? Is it going to be me next” and forcing people to keep their heads down and walk gingerly over the scattered eggshells.
Does this sound familiar”¦?
At the end of the three weeks, by the way, this particular “values-driven” company went back on what they had promised in the first meeting, ultimately implying that my friend is a liar.
“There’s nothing we can do” said my friend’s solicitor “There were two of them in the meeting and one of you. It’s their word against yours.”
He is finally out of there, with a pretty measly pay-off, having been forced to sign a legal contract promising that he will never say anything derogatory about the company or about his treatment at their hands. His team, however, still have to wait another few days to be told the truth.
Corporate sociopathy to a tee, wouldn’t you agree? There are so many more examples, and I’m only just starting to get my teeth in to this massively unexplored area. So the business world had better watch out, because as you know, I’m not one to stay quiet.
Does anyone think there would be a market for providing a consulting service to those looking to take legal action against a former employer? I would not be providing legal advice, rather, advice on the process, how to choose a lawyer, what to expect, pitfalls to avoid, things lawyers won’t tell you…
I feel I have a wealth of knowledge and if I had somebody like myself to consult my result would have been sooner and for a greater award.
I was thinking a few of $150-$175 per hour, minimum two hours, with any unused time banked. Would this amount ($300-$350) seem too high for the average person?
BBE, there is probably a market for it, but….and the BUT is keeping yourself from being accused of “practicing law without a license”—there is a fine line there for that sort of thing.
Like for example giving psychological advice, people call themselves “life coaches” and such and CHARGE for this advice….but they acting as “therapists” without a license? I think the line is so fine you might be able to do it, but your customers might be too broke to pay your fee. LOL (no joke about that!)
I can give you ADVICE and not charge for it, because it is simply my OPINION….and just because my advice is NO good and you follow it, is not reason you could sue me about it and maybe prevail, but if I am PROVIDING AN ADVICE SERVICE and my advice (you think, whether it is true or not) caused you to make a bad decision that cost you grief or money…well that is a horse of a different color entirely. That’s why professionals have liability polices against such an event. Back when I sold meat to people I had a liability policy in case someone got sick or broke a tooth or even just accused me of causing a problem with my product. My hospital employer also carried a liability policy for me as well as I carried my own separate policy.
I have a liability policy on my farm in case an animal gets out of the fences (my animals or my renter’s animals) and gets on the high way and causes a wreck, or kicks and hurts someone. In fact, I am “insurance poor!” But at the same time, I am aware that people can sue for all kinds of things and even if they don’t prevail you still have to hire an attorney to defend yourself. (been there and done that).
Back when I decided to retire professionally, I let my license to practice lapse, and took a “retired status”—because in the event someone asked me if they should take an aspirin and I said yes or no, then if they got sicker they could sue me and cause all kinds of “practicing medicine/nursing” problems and I didn’t want to have to keep up liability insurance just for that. Now, I am just a “citizen” not a practicing professional so if you take my medical advice and you die, tough, you can’t sue me and get anything because there is NO EXPECTATION that I am giving you professional advice because I am a RETIRED professional, not an active one.
People still come to me and show me rashes, swellings and tell me symptoms and ask “what should I do” and my usual response is, “Hummmm, maybe you should take that up with your doctor.” Sure, I’ve got enough supplies and equipment here at my house just about to accomplish “open heart surgery” (if I had the qualifications, which I don’t) and if my son or a trusted few friends were to get hurt and need an IV I’d have the stuff to do it with and get it going while we waited on the ambulance, but I am NOT going to do that for anyone else. For anyone else I would do what any CPR/Response trained person would do but nothing more, I can’t risk pulling out my handy-dandy medical supply stash and “practicing medicine” without a license. That may sound harsh, but I have to stick to the letter of the practice laws.
Before I would start to give advice to someone I think I would CONSULT with an attorney about where the LINE IS IN YOUR STATE as far as practice is concerned. You might also be someone an ATTORNEY might HIRE to consult for them. If you could practice under the umbrella of an attorney that might work out very well as a sort of sub-specialty. I had an attorney in elder law try to hire me a while back to CONSULT with his clients about their loved ones going to a nursing home, something I could do without a medical or nursing license as HIS employee.
Ox;
That is a good point that my telling my experience might be viewed as providing legal even though this is not the intention. I did check on unlawful practice of law and of course the definition is typically vague.
I investigated doing something similar in regards to divorce.
The reality is……there is not enough people to support a profitable money making venture.
In my area attorneys charge $225 on up……I would have been working with a clients attorney and had the support of them and referrals…..
I think it would be a hard sell to pay $150 hourly for an advocate who doesn’t offer legal advise.
I think a book would be better because it reaches more people…….and you could find a ‘consultant ESQ’ to back you up to validate your direction.
What you’re looking at, I don’t believe (generally) attorneys would support, because you’d expose their secrets and practices.
I’d look into the book market…..and you can also write it from your OWN experience. Nothing illegal about that!
Another article about corporate sociopaths – “The Monster Behind the Marketer’s Mask.”
the author happens to be a Lovefraud reader.
http://www.tmap.biz/pressroom_release.php?key=87
ErinBrock;
The book is a good idea for the future, something I always wanted to do. I agree that even at $150 per hour, it would be difficult to generate enough income to support myself full-time. In addition, I have learned that I am probably not a good candidate to be fully self employed, due to my dysthymia. I am much happier in an office setting, presuming it is a functional one.
Donna,
GREAT Article by Dr. owen, however, the last sentence sort of stunned me about giving them a “letter of reference” and helping them on to some place else.
I’ve worked with and recognized as TOXIC (at the time I didn’t realize what a “psychopath” was) some people who brought down entire corporations—even one specialty hospital into bankruptcy. During a period of 6 months the entire nursing staff of one hospital (over 200 nurse) left, except for one nurse who had been there 20 years. I was among the last to leave, just not being able to “believe” that management couldn’t see what a paranoid nut job this mid level manager was, or why the director of nurses was her pal and did her bidding.
Funny, but even 30+ years later, many of the nurses who worked there with me at the time, trauma bonded together and still keep in touch though we are scattered to the four winds now. Working at that hospital was such a traumatic experience we just couldn’t “believe” what was going on. It ended up with the midlevel manager fired, then the director of nurses fired, then the administrator and since this happened during an ACUTE shortage of nurses, and SPECIALTY nurses at that, the hospital went belly up and the corporation that owned it folded. All because of one psychopathic, control freak mid level nursing manager who DESTROYED the jobs of many people as well as the investment of how many people.
I’ve worked with a few psychopathic managers since then, but none on such a level.
Oxy,
I had the exact same WTF? moment on that last sentence. Why help them go on and to gain more power? Well, I can see that sometimes, it’s the option of last resort. After all, we often thank God for the OW who takes the spath off our hands and redirects his energy.
I still think that the eskimos handle it best: push them off the ice.
Skylar,
Yea, “push them off the ice”—-PTOTI—yea, that’s a good idea for sure. Unfortunately we don’t have any ICE around here to PTOT Off of. LOL Well, Erin Brock has ICE AND SNOW (hee hee!!!!) and it will be 70 here tomorrow, and sunny, after a wonderful day of RAIN!!!!! (eat your heart out EB!) LOL 🙂
Seriously, there are times I would really like to PTOTI but I have also learned that I don’t want to BE or THINK LIKE them….and resort to violence in more ways than the occasional gallows humor like Donna’s link the other day to the “hit man” site.
It is difficult to fight down the anger, rage, wrath and desire for revenge when we don’t get justice or validation from the community or the law. That’s why ethnic and religious wars are fought for generations and prejudice reigns for eons. All we have to do is to look at the middle east in order to see what injustice, revenge, anger, hate, etc does to people and to cultures. Psychopaths ferment that kind of feeling, then egg it on, and the buck has got to stop somewhere. I want it to stop with ME because Ii don’t want to find myself a BITTER old woman to the end of my days.
I think about Hens’ egg donor and how bitter she is, and I do NOT want to be like that….even if I am “justified” in feeling hate or bitterness toward someone, I don’t like what that feeling does to ME–justified or not. I want peace, tranquility and calm in my life and I can’t have that if my heart is filled with bitterness. Living a good life, a peaceful life IS THE BEST REVENGE. It is like No Contact, it isn’t easy to do because we want to strike back at injustice, but if we allow it, peace will still our angry hearts and we WIN!!!!!!
Ox;
Sadly, my aunt is among those bitterly living out her last days, the controller and enabler to the end. Her children are miserable and alcoholic. I made the mistake of arranging a family vacation to include her and iat the time, she ruined it for me.
However, now I see that vacation experience as a lesson in what not to be and what not to allow my life to become.